Author: Adisha
•Wednesday, December 31, 2008
I don't get it. Before the movie, I was all hyped, after the movie, I was all hyper with agitation!! I know. I know. There will be those out there who think I'm an idiot for saying it but the truth is my negative reaction is in direct proportion to the expectations I had of it. I went online and all I read was Ghajini Rocks etc. But what about the movie rocks is my question? It reminds me of Raja Hindustani. No one liked it but everyone loved it. I just don't get it. Is it only Aamir that makes a movie work ? For one review was somewhat truthful in the fact that it said Ghajini is different in the sense that it celebrates it's dumbness. So, basically if you have Aamir, the aam janta will digest anything. That's so disturbing. What about story ? Characters? Theme ? Moral ? Editing ? etc etc ...

I for one, am someone who loves a movie to have a sensible story, a moral, any moral. Sure a movie is to get away from reality but then too, it should have part of it's feet in the present, on ground steering us towards a destination or driving by a scenery that leaves us awestruck or thoughtful. I don't usually write about movies I don't like but this is one movie that amazed me with the number of holes it has and yet is breaking every box office record!

The whole ride home I was ranting to my hubby about what all I couldn't digest about the movie. And he, a person of few words was so awestruck by the story's stupidity that this blog is about His thoughts on the same.

Ghajini - Defects in characterization/storyline ( if there was any )

Sanjay Singhania

Follows his Dad's ideals of doing business with emotion without being emotional.

Falls in love with a girl who is falsifying relationship with him and telling to friends, public and media, which might also affect his company's image after the underwear ad.

Then spends the rest of the movie hunting down people like animals only on emotion without using any of vast resources available to him as a CEO. So much about not being emotional :)

I agree anything for love, but never revealing his real identity because "he" thinks it is a good idea to keep it that way. It is same as saying that when he needs love he has the girl, but when the girl needs recognition of Sanjay Singhania, she has to live a lie to keep attaining all she needs. Not letting know her identity even after the girl falls for him sounds quite selfish to me.

He has the time and resources to gift an apartment in a secret way, but no time to think and arrange a way to tell the truth to his 'love'.

'Rab ne bana di jodi' was about loving the real guy, this movie's love department was about loving the false guy, till death. Sure it's almost poetic in it's irony but hey ! I think there's something to be said about being in love with someone who doesn't exist even. I wouldn't call it true love if I didn't know who I was in love with. I would even be royally upset, if I just gave away the One thing that wasspecial to me to arrange for money for a sick mother who also, doesn't exist.

He shares his 'secret' love life with his subordinates, uses company car for personal New Year Eve party with some small advertising company with no business interests, but doesn't use his CEO power to trace Ghajini's location using the mobile number and plan a good kill. Pretty dumb for a guy who is smart enough to equip himself with a camera and keeps notes of things to do after his memory loss.

After knowing that Kalpana is in danger calling cops would be nice especially if you have 1 minute to spare in the elevator. If you don't trust the cops, call your friends!!! What was he thinking? "I am going to beat all those goons and save Kalpana by flashing my American express ???!!!"

Kalpana Shetty

She is all social and bubbly, but she never tries to visit the Sanjay's house???? Know things about the Sanjay's family?? I think girls know these things naturally in the first few dates, let alone committing to marry the guy.

The guy she's with has a heart of gold, donating Rs 5 Lakh to a charity he doesn't know. Leaving a check of Rs 5 Lakh with people he doesn't know would certainly raise questions on his character, an underwear model with so much money, especially in India.

After Ghajini confesses to her about killing off girls, she goes home to her apartment. Who does that ? Call the cops ? Call your boy friend. Tell Someone, anyone. But hey, what can the poor girl do? She never knew her bf was a hot shot with money or she might have had some security.

Brave and clever Police Officer

He is shown as a clever cop who catches the criminal within 48 hours, but doesn't remember to call for backup or share his findings with his department???

While fighting with Sanjay he never ones shouts out that he's a police officer. He doesn't even want to tell Sanjay that he is a good cop and will be on his side in investigating the murder. Even when he gets caught with the girl the second time, that time too he chooses to leave the girl behind; with a murderer I might add and make a run for it. Wow!! No wonder people are scared to approach the police

Medical Student

She is all curious and methodical when she wants to know Sanjay's medical case, becomes his friend, and even steals and reads his personal diary. Only she knows how Sanjay remembers things using camera, photo, 15 min alarm. But when she drops Sanjay to Ghajini's place, she leaves him without those things.

Police Department

They remove Sanjay's clothes, but have no clue of what is written on his body "Kalpana was killed", "Kill Ghajini", phone numbers, does it ring a bell??? NO?? Ok, how about the pictures in his pockets, pictures of dead people with 'Done' in the bottom??? No??? Oh come on, at least he is not a normal guy with tattoos .. And the words 'murder' and 'kill' are on the body.... No one bothers to question the employees of what happened to this guy ??? I'd think it would be my first reaction to ask someone about what the tattoo on their body stands for.

15 min Plot

Ok, everyone knows 15 min is Not 15 min in movies, but the random time line is Never adhered to. This all after the fact that going from one place in to another place in Mumbai takes more than 15 minutes. Going from home to girls hostel, hospital to Ghajini's place. There is very little reference to the 15 min memory loss except in the last scene where he forgets who he was after.

All in all a colossal disappointment !! What upsets me is what they expect the audience to accept without question. The characters are finicky, the plot line shaky and common sense has not even a back seat.

I like Aamir Khan's movies for being quite appealing to the intellect. Characters who may not be completely real in his movies, but they were smart and were convincing. Main lead used to be the smartest one. Remember Dil, Taare Zameen Par, Sarfarosh, Lagaan, Dil Chahta Hai, etc. Sure there are bits and pieces of the movie that are commendable but a few well acted / shot scenes do not a film make. This movie doesn't have Aamir Khan signature on it !!
Author: Adisha
•Wednesday, December 31, 2008
So, this is my last post for this year and what a year it's been. What better way to conclude than to summarize the past year. Most of my thoughts can be found penned here in bloggerville, but here's to what else made 2008 specially memorable.

Lessons Learned.

It's hard for elders to enjoy any place if it's out of their comfort zone, literally and metaphorically.

Enjoyment exists only among like minded people.

People find it hard to change, even if it means upsetting those close to you. It's easier for all around just to accept it.

Sometimes it's better to have out everything out in the open so that you can deal with it.

To forget something you need to concentrate on Now.

Expectations creep in even when you Think there's nothing to expect.

Some people are just too full of themselves to see what's happening around them.

If something pisses you off, it's better to let it subtly known rather than fret and fume about it later.

There are things about yourself that others misunderstand coz they are totally unique to you.

People you love have to put up with you, yet love everything about you.

When words hurt, you can't take them back but you Can be sorry and explain what you actually feel.

You hurt for those you love and there's nothing you can do to help them.

Good friends always ROCK !!! No matter the time, distance or even space ;)

When you're at home you miss your family and friends and when you're going to be with them all, you already miss your love before you've even left.

If you let it, time can change everything or nothing ...

Cherished Celebrations.

Joined Bloggerville and finally started putting down my thoughts in one place.

Valentines was a surprise in the Sahara.

Had a good holi with lipstick and green colors.

Got a digi cam for my anniversary.

Roamed and enjoyed Memphis totally.

Bear Mountain had a breathtaking view.

Had great fun showing parents the world around us.

Enjoyed a wonderful evening with DJ spinbad. First pub outing.

Birthday 08 was awesome peppered with surprises. Shopping, eating out, Cake, cards and a LOVELY lunch at Bateaux.

Enjoyed cooking new recipes of chicken, fish, Mediterranean, mexican, cakes, and traditional foodies all at home.

Had a traditional karvachauth.

Diwali totally Rocked this year, with friends, parties and games.

Jersey city will always be fun.

And all those special moments spent with my sweet hubby who's surprisingly always full of surprises !!!

Movies that Rocked my Mind.

Dark Knight
Wall E
Pursuit of Happyness
August Rush
Get Smart
Rab ne Bana di Jodi
Jodha Akbar
Bachna ae Haseeno
Rock On
Author: Adisha
•Saturday, December 20, 2008
The man does incredible movies. No movie of his goes without appreciation for his acting skills. Sure I am Legend and Hancock could have had anticlimactic endings, but hey ! Writing is not his forte, yet ! ;)Sure, he's incredible good looking but I for one, am a fan of the person. Every interview of his, every word that passes his lips is bursting with enthusiasm for life. Whenever I see him talking in interviews, I feel Every sentence he says should be punctuated by exclamation points!!! He's one for positive thinking, humor and the living life to the fullest. I admit I strive to have that attitude towards life some day. He stands for home schooling, learning constantly, exercising regularly. His motto, Read and Run Each Day. For a person who never graduated college and gained popularity at an early age, he comes across as an intelligent and genuine person , leaving his mark on this world in a special way.

When I read his interview the first time in reader's digest I was shocked and in total awed by his comments on education and totally fell in with his style of thinking which for me was a unique take. He's not just literate, he's Educated. Kids today Need to learn about Life, rather than stuff that they'll never need. They need to learn about their country, and heritage, besides and whatever else they need to make it in the life that they choose. Reading, writing and arithmetic are basics but other than that, what one needs to learn is what helps them in the talents they possess. Schools have too much peer pressure and thinking.

If some day I could sit with him or ask him what his mantra is in bringing up children. It's amazing his son of 16 years was sensitive enough to donate all his gifts to a children hospital after he was affected by his grandma's demise. He has a children council at home, which is always in effect. Like when his kid asked for a 100 dollar allowance, he told all the kids to gather in a room and once inside, they had an Actual 45 min discussion and came out with the number of 40$, having come to the conclusion their brother didn't need a 100 dollars a week with his current life style. It's amazing that he even came up with this thinking. Sure, there might be others out there with the same techniques but having heard something like that for the first time, I am totally in admiration of this person who just shines on screen in Every way , a person, actor, husband and parent.
Author: Adisha
•Friday, December 19, 2008
As I said before, I'm coming forward with a kind of synopsis of the Book " I Didn't Mean That " in my own words. The book's heading reads " How to Avoid Misunderstandings & Hurt Feelings in Everyday Life." And that's what it's all about. Those few moments which leave you with misguided consequences. This book with quite a number of examples in the form of stories from lives of people just like us is a wonderful light house for those of us bumbling to figure out what went wrong or how best to avoid unpleasant situations. :D

A few pointers from the book to give an idea of what it's about. I've found the book a keeper and am certainly going to keep dipping into it's pool at times of distress. Here's hoping that others find it just as beneficial.

Questions to ask yourself during any given situation -

Who am I speaking to ?
What am I not seeing ?
Where will my words lead me ?
How will the other person react to my words ?
Why must I say it at all ?
When do I say it ?


Be extra careful when emotions like blame, mistakes, contempt and disappointment run high. Those affected are usually those closest to you. At this point think of WHO it is you're talking to. Imagine all the good in that person and all that you have shared. Calming down before you bring forth any words that come forth due to rampant feelings.


You don't always have to say it as you see it. Honesty, casual chats, curiosity, breaches of confidence are never excuses to say whatever you want to. What you may Not be seeing in the far future comes to use in those times when you have to look a little into what maybe playing in the back ground. A little tact, self discipline, and forethought would surely take you a long way.


Judging, badgering, seeking attention, venting are situations when you're own words would come back to haunt you making you regret all you've said. Where your words might lead you should be given some serious thought.


Words can make or break a person or relation. You should think about How best to make your words count when giving advice, taking sides, accepting gifts, and coming to a compromise. Developing an awareness of the other person's feelings will help you realize what how to make amends or help during conflicts. Trying to put yourself in another's shoes will assist you in seeing where another is coming from.


Difficult people tend to make you say things you normally wouldn't. Remember - you have control only on yourself. When you speak ethically, it may create a ripple effect and lead to thoughtfulness on others' part too. Those who are rude, grumpy, criticize or brag may get under your skin but giving them back in kind is not always the answer. Though tempting, the only result guaranteed are frayed nerves. If you feel your words won't help then the best options are to say as little or nothing, without appearing rude. It avoids any unnecessary negativity and puts you in a position of strength.


People need kind words letting them know they are appreciated in any big or small way. Compliments, encouragement, empathy, consolation go a long way in letting another know you care. The time for such words in always now, here.

In conclusion -

Know your audience.
Understand and be clear about what you are saying.
Use appropriate language.
Only say what needs to be said.
Speak at appropriate time and place.
Know yourself and the person/ people listening to you.


Sure, all the above are ideal case scenarios and it's always easier said than done. But if keeping in mind a few things helps us go a long way in making our lives better then why not ?! After all life Is about trying till we succeed. We all have people in our lives who misunderstand us or wish we could get along better with. Why not try and make things better for all those around ?
Author: Adisha
•Friday, December 19, 2008
I wonder what was going through the mind of the Iraqi who threw the shoe at Bush?! Venting out his frustration in lieu of the many who are silent in the face of what's happening in their nation, I pressumed. I can only venture a guess for he certainly isn't standing by his point by putting forward an apology. Albeit it appears that the apology may have been obtained by beating him pulp after the afore mentioned incident. I also wonder what he, this Hero of the masses thought would happen immediately After he threw the shoe that was so mildly dodged. Not unlike another hero who inspired, was willing to hit the CEO of the MTA with His shoe against the injustice of his enjoying huge salary benefits when others are suffering under the bout of recession.

A lot goes through my mind as I think about this world famous incident. An act that has been praised by Billions around the world. An act that has given hope to many, with a seemingly daring, cheeky action. I wouldn't want to condone such behaviour but I'm forced to admit it gave me immense joy when I came to know of it. That someone had taken a stand in way that brought attention to what the Iraqies have been going through. With a single throw he's shown the contempt most people feel for Bush and his administration.

During the recent Mumbai attacks, a friend of mine had said that she would love to see the politicians all lined up and beaten with shoes for the way our country has been mishandled over the years. But I came back with the remark, is that there is no point of holding sentiments that few will stand up and fight for. No one in today's world thinks that such actions are worth it. Few today inspire people the way leaders of yesteryears like Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa did.

The world needs a reform, in a major way. Every piece of our society big or small, materialistic or emotional is slowly but steadily rotting to it's core and everyone is just too blinded by their own life to realize it. Everyone is quick to point fingers and place blame but how many actually DO anything about it or anything for that matter. I myself was Very disturbed by the Mumbai Blasts. Somehow I felt mad at Everyone who stands by letting things slide, thinking it's ok. This doesn't matter. But when will people realize that Every little bit matters. When someone stands by and lets another be mugged. When someone says nothing when another is treated wrongly. When someone accepts lies and betrayals as a part of the world. When someone denines another justice for power, money or relations. Each one says, why should I do something, for it does not affect me. No one realizes that all of it adds up to the summation of something big that finally rocks the morals of today's world and then we can do nothing, for we have done nothing so far. What is the point of lighting candles, sending forwards, joining groups, talking, joking, taunting, when you actually DO nothing !!! Even at the littlest injustice that we ignore today, is like a snowball rolling down the hill, gathering momentum, increasing in size causing an avalanche that destroys Everything under it.

Thus when that Iraqi with his shoe or the man at the MTA with His shoe, raise their hand in response to the wrongs of society we need at the least appreciate the conditions that lead them to that step and make sure we too stand up for all that we know is right. So, pick up a shoe. No, No, I mean metaphorically. Taking a stand against whatever you see going wrong in your life or with those around you. Raise your voice and fearlessly, truthfully speak of what needs to be done right. Share your concerns with another and together right a wrong. For if things keep going the way they are, tomorrow one of two things will happen. Someday either we will all be standing on roads with shoes in our hands. Or we will all be left without shoes to wear ...
Author: Adisha
•Monday, December 15, 2008
It's been a long time since I've posted anything. I wonder why that is. Not from lack of desire. But there's just too much going in rather than coming out. I sat many days open to my screen looking at it blankly hoping One thing pops up. I calculated the other day and I've read an almost a 100 books in the past year. Life seems to have come to a standstill of sorts and lots has been amounting to nothing and vice versa at times. That's besides the point though.

Today is about some of what I've been enjoying.

Author Fern Michaels - Totally refreshing, flowery writing. Her smart alec quips and girly comments leave me with a smile. Fantabulously loud characters and vibrant heroines. Something different from the usual thrillers I tend to pick up.

Series Raising the Bar - A different perspective of the law, from the point of view of those who are helpless and willing to change for the better. People who commit crimes or are just tangled up in the system and fighting for a way out. Truly amazing. I'm not ashamed to say, I'm moved by each episode.

Series Leverage - For those who enjoy fast paced, well thought out plans with a dose of action, willy repartee, amazing acting all put to use outwitting the bad guy. People who enjoy movies like The Italian Job, Oceans Eleven, Mission Impossible etc , will surely get a kick out of this one.

Book I Didn't Mean That - Ever had the feeling you need a few guidelines to tell you how to handle people who irritate the hell out of you. Or sometimes just wish you'd not have put your foot in your mouth. Or wondered why a misunderstanding occurred. This book is for you. I'm going to be dedicating a blog to it myself soon. So those of you interested, stay posted !

Well that's it for today. I'm updating my blog to have books I've read and enjoyed, series, movies, etc. Would love it if those of you who come by here would put in some of what you enjoy as well ...

Till later then !!!
Author: Adisha
•Monday, November 10, 2008
I thought to put in a few more words elaborating my thoughts about second chances ...

Giving second chances itself is very tricky for most of us confuse second chances and end up getting taken for granted, which is dangerous. Second chances should be given Only when you are convinced things will be different the second time round. Or if there were some deep misunderstandings, third party meddling or equal fault lies with both parties in the first place. Sometimes you just need to look beyond the haze of errors to see the goodness of a person's heart and recognize what you feel for them. Slowly, a step at a time, think about what you are willing to risk by losing or taking the next step.

Other than that, a lot of times people run out of all the chances, big or small that they are given and at some point you just HAVE to put your foot down. Either make your feelings known or back away. Even after knowing your feelings if they continue in the same tone of actions then it's better to let go. For some one who lets you down in every way, should Never be be allowed to demean your self respect ever again. If someone does not respect Your feelings then they do Not deserve to have them in the first place. Indifference and negligence merit nothing but the same.
For like I said before, human nature doesn't usually change. You need to be sure about what happened in the previous incident. In the end it's the Intention that counts. If someone hurts you intentionally, they might just do it again. A person's reasons for hurting you define what they are made of.

At this point, I want to bring up something that often bothers me about human nature. When we see someone behaving wrongly, why is it that we stand by saying nothing, thinking it's not my place for they are " GOOD " to me Now. How does one forget the Now part? As far as my observation goes, a person who treats someone else badly will surely do the same to you at one point or another. Then why is it that later we wonder, why did they act like that with me ?! Most people just aren't aware of the wrongs they do per day, which is why we all need a human compass in our life to let us know the right direction. Then there are those who just don't care, rising above the situation but how can anyone stand by seeing people make wrong choices. If only people chose to do the right thing, and stood by whatever we believed in the world would be a better place. This holds true for more than one situation.

As for second chances, important as it is to make an informed decision it's up to each person and situation. In any case, a stand should be taken depending on what you believe in. One never knows what tomorrow holds. That is Why, it's called a CHANCE.
Author: Adisha
•Friday, November 07, 2008
It's a special day for a close friend of mine. She has many reasons to celebrate this day. And I wish her nothing but the Best in life. Many joys, tears of happiness, silver linings to every cloud and moments that turn into cherished memories...

But it wasn't always like this. We met, grew really close and due to unforeseen and unimaginable circumstances turned into adversaries. And after a long absence, thanks to her many overtures and going deep into the causes and faults of the said rift, we came close once again like a life boat to a lighthouse. Today, though we have lands and oceans between us, we laugh, cry, talk and reminisce about what was and what will be.

Today, as I heard her laugh at my gentle teasing, I wondered about the volatility of human relations. Best friends turn into enemies and adversaries into confidantes. Friends turn into lovers. Lovers into strangers. Strangers into a couple. And a once happily married couple become divorcees. People you like become those whom you cannot stand the sight of. Acquaintances become best of friends, standing by your through thick or thin. Sometimes, bridges get burnt permanently. Other times, we look across at the other side and work towards coming to the middle, together building all that's lost. Of course, all this is not at the drop of a hat. There's a lot happening behind these intricate webs of feelings. A silly misunderstanding, a growing sense dislike, lost self respect, a third party manipulation, memories of good times, expectations, passion, compatibility or lack there of, and then there is the desire to regain what was lost or lose what is pulling you down. Could be just nothing or everything.

But there is something to this whole thing about giving second chances. To a loved one, a friend, family, yourself even. Sure, human nature doesn't essentially change, but over time we can always realize the importance of what was lost and it's never too late to try to make something of it. Every relation and it's absence has a reason, season or rhyme,and it's extent in one's life is Only for the two involved to decide ...

Kudos to those few who get a second chance and make the most of it. For the rest cherish what you have ; or decide where you stand. Cheers to You, My Sweet Friend for bringing yourself back into my LiFe!!!
Author: Adisha
•Sunday, November 02, 2008
I brought this up with a few friends the other day and thought it worth bringing up here in bloggerville. In the US, I've seen in movies and on news that once children or anyone goes missing, it's assumed that the child / person may be found fastest among the first 24 hours and then the chances keep getting slimmer. Which actually makes sense if you think of it logically.

On the other than in India, one may not file a missing report till a being is missing for 72 hours. I wonder what logic that comes from. Is it from assuming that a person has run away from home or is just lost close to home. But isn't it better that one starts searching for a kid lost or kidnapped as soon as it's established that they are not at home ? Or maybe I've just got things wrong. In today's violent times it's better to be more cautious and put in extra efforts at the onset only. And taken precautions is always better in order to prevent any wrong doings. If someone can clarify for me the policy on filing missing person's complaints.

My brother was lost once when he was really young. The usual kid losing his way looking at something else and a misunderstanding among adults of who the kid is with. This is more often than not the case. Albeit for a few hours, but I still shudder at the memory of thinking that I'd lost him forever and am repulsed at the thought of what might have happened. I'm till date thankful for him listening to my kiddie advice of staying where I left him last, wondering at the miracle that brought him back to us. I just pray that many more such miracles bring people back home safe and sound ... God speed !
Author: Adisha
•Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Wishing all the people out there to whom I connect through my blogs a Very Happy Diwali and a Prosperous New Year !

Well, the day we look forward to most of the year is here. And surprise surprise ! It came with snow today. Came early this year and added a touch of magic to the festivities ...

It's amazing na ?! Whenever a festival or celebration comes across there seems to be a surge of magical mist in the air ! I for one, feel like the hearts of everyone around me is resounding with positive happy thoughts.Everyone I know has decorated their house, lit up candles, shared their desires with God and extended their wishes to loved ones. People in one way or another, small or big, find expressions to their joy. The few bystanders who do not care to make it a big bang, too get pulled into the melee. People of all religions join together in celebrating whatever occasion comes up. Which brings me to the thought that all differences aside, each one of us is tied to the other by the desire to be happy, celebrating in our own ways the little moments that come our way !! Extending towards others the joys that our hearts feel, wishing them happiness and joys of their own. And that is something truly miraculous ... Isn't it ?!
Author: Adisha
•Monday, October 13, 2008
Hi All ,

Have you Ever wanted to make a change ? Matter to the world? Make a change ? Want to do something different for India, instead of just standing by and Talking about what could be different? Well, here's your chance to make a difference in the life of another....

I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Milind Ranade yesterday. He brought to me the story of the contractual conservancy workers in India. I can bet that You as a Indian or other national, would Never have thought about the person who collects your garbage down the street and the inhuman conditions of his existence.

It started in 1996, with him and a colleague traveling in the bus, stuck in traffic. They looked out of the window to find the source of the putrid smells assaulting their senses and were Horrified to see three men having their lunch, sitting on TOP of the garbage heap !!! The heap was in a garbage truck used to haul the day's garbage to be disposed of . Having been involved in social work for a while, after a lot of internal discussion he and his colleague decided to follow those people to their place of work and around town. And they were further shocked by the conditions in which these men worked. Not only did they do ALL the garbage collecting, loading, unloading by hand, but they had No facilities to speak of, be it water, gloves, boots or a place to sit once they finished their rounds. On further investigations they found that the group of people, who are on contract ( ie Not direct BMC employees) are paid a mere Rs 30 for every round they make that is alloted to them in a day. The usual run is of 3 rounds a day, come hail or shine. The contractors hiring them put trucks of the lowest quality in circulation, that are on the verge of being sent to the scrap yard. And the along with that, they hire 3 people per truck to run on the rounds. These workers do 3 times the work of the BMC employees, and yet are provided with None of the amenities required by LAW. On the question of Why people are hired such, is that This is a golden egg for people at different levels of the hierarchy in our govt system which is infested with corruption, for Cheap labor that can be exploited easily.

This bit of knowledge was followed by a video that the KVSS ( His Organization ) have put together since 1996. Starting with videos of men collection all the filth by hand. Places like vegetable markets, slaughter houses, hospitals, gutters were gone through with with help of Only a fork, spade and bucket. These places from various cities and parts of Mumbai like Kurla, Dagar were full of veggie leftovers, decaying animal parts, needles, medications, hospital throw aways, even human parts ( hospitals do Not prefer using Their incinerators for the purpose of cost cutting) etc. This was followed by a clip of a man confessing to being an alcoholic so that he didn't get jitters when he worked. Dogs could be seen going through the trash side by side. Another clip of a man, going into a gutter Full of drain water to enable smoother flow without any protective gear. Next came a man who was washing his hands in the drain water flowing out of the truck's pre loaded garbage followed by close ups of sores and rashes on such working mens' bodies. Needless to say these were all appalling and nauseating sights. Then came a clip of their first Morcha that was a hunger strike for their rights in 1997, for things like water - drinking & washing which was successful after 2 days. They got the water on the pretext, Not of Rights of a worker but on Humanitarian grounds. Next came a few clips of Mr. Milind Ranade trying to make people aware of their rights. People of different languages they got together by coaxing, convincing and making aware slowly and surely. Next came a video the morcha they had recently on the August 14th, having organized more than 3000 people for the right to working boots and gloves. The ultimatum being, if they weren't provided with the right work gear, they would gift the Additional Municipal Commisioner with shoes the workers collected from their work place, ie Garbage Dump. The shouts of "Joote do ya Joote lo" resounded in the air, as men were cordoned away from the BMC office by police trucks and later arrested. This resulted in their getting the work shoes sanctioned with the bonus of a Leave on August 15th.

This was just the video. Mr. Milind also shared with us the story of the Chaddi Baniyan Morcha in 98. Also, the story of how a man died in an accident while he was on the job. Having no proof of his employment no office was willing to take ownership of the consequent expenses and payments. And that wasn't the first time. TB and other diseases are rampant as well. That's right ! They have no attendance cards, salary slip, social security, insurance slip, agreement contracts, nothing besides the injustice of being paid a meagre amount for their efforts. Women work the whole of night shift. They are like ghosts in our system. A life of hardships, illiteracy, horrid working conditions, and nothing to show but misery for it . For any contractor, having more than 20 workers license is required, so they keep exactly 18 people in employment at any time. What was specially surprising was with all the work Mr. Milind and his colleagues and volunteers have put together, politicians, government officials, all come up with ways to get out of the the Acts passed and find a loop hole to work around them. Like Now in Mumbai, Contract workers are Not payed accordingly coz by a recent Law they are called " Volunteers ". In Pimpri Chinchwadi( Pune district), govt has started making workers ( illiterate ) sign One to One contracts stating that they themselves are Contractors, and Thus they cannot claim bonuses, equal wages or permanency for those are meant for workers, not their contractors. A committee ( Prime Minister's Council on Trade and Industry) was formed for suggesting amendments in Labor Laws in 2000 by Vajpayee, amusingly comprised of Tata, Birla, Wadia and Mittal. No representation of the labor was present. A set of laws were created which were soon loop holed into oblivion.

None the less, Mr. Milind Ranade ( General Secretary ) and his colleagues Mr. Vijay Dalvi ( Secretary ) and Mr. Deepak Bhalerao ( President ) have along with all the people they slowly but surely brought together made immense change in the 10 years that they have been working on this cause. They have organized the working group into a union and are fighting for their rights in the courts, on the roads and now are moving onto other forums to challenge a system which has systematically exploited the bottom rung of the working class. From the top leader in the political ranks to the last contractor, everyone has their cut in this engine of corruption, that's running thanks only to the the un awareness of this un educated group who were un aware that a change Could be brought about. As a result of their prolonged battle, they have successfully helped 1200 workers in Maharashtra to become permanent employees of the BMC in 2006. Salaries have now increased from Rs. 1800 to Rs. 10,000. with facilities like leaves, bonus, provident fund, pension after retirement etc along with amenities like water at work place, rainy shoes, masks and other safety gears from the contractors. They created a concept of Bewada Register in which wives of alcoholics could come and register their complaints. Consequently, the wages of the alleged alcoholic are collected by a union representative and then distributed by their organization to the family. Thanks to the union's efforts, 35 men are now recovering alcoholics. Education is promoted and awareness of their rights, hygeine and laws is propogated. What is truly admirable is that all the work they have done is with No financial assistance from Any One person or Organization. All the money they've used is of the workers and people who Had once donated money have had their money returned to them. Currently, workers have contributed a total of Rs. 50 Lakh, creating a corpus that is to be used for the benefit of OTHERS like them. KVSS ie Kachara Vahatuk Shramik Sangh formed in 1997 . is now spreading surely across other ares like Nagpur, Amaravati, Nashik, Latur, Nanded, Parbhani and Sangali in the state of Maharashtra and is now working to start a socio political movement in all such working situations in the whole of India. They are now representing even single workers from remote villages in their litigations so as to further include any states willing to participate in the ventures.

The Organization is Now looking to create a global awareness on This topic so that they can successfully rally this movement in all the states of India. They are also on the look out for volunteers who desire to make a change, willing to commit a few years of their life to this noble cause. The thought behind total commitment for a said number of years is that One needs to Really connect to these people if any difference is to be made. Total and relentless dedication, understanding their plight and empathy is what is required from anyone willing. Also, people from the working class may find it difficult to be truly dedicated as this work involves a lot of litigation and continual correspondence. The donations they will Now be collecting will be for the sustenance of those people who will be appointed in the different cities for said purpose. The difference in their approach is that they are working towards bringing a Change, not only by creating awareness but by Challenging the system from every possible angle. Of course, with total transparency and viable discussion in place.

For pictures please view attached.

What You can do to help is one the the following -

*. Contribute monetarily any amount and in any way to their Trust called Navjeevan Samiti, that's registered under Public Charitable Trust Act. For contributions you can contact the given addresses / emails.

*. If you are or know of anyone willing to become a member of this Change, come forward to dedicate yourself to this cause.

*. They are also looking for volunteers in Any field to help create More awareness, through any form of media / organization. Any fresh ideas or help in any form is most welcome.

*. If Nothing else, Forward this mail to as many people as you can, letting more people know of this problem in India, in the hope that people out there will empathize with this working class who are an integral part of our Society !!

* Please do Not treat this as a junk mail or play pranks or jokes using this information. This is a serious issue that deserves Serious Thought & Action.

Many thanks to Mr. Milind Ranade for making Me and others like me aware of another Naked Truth of Our Corrupt Bureaucracy & Subsequent Injustice of the Unorganized Weaker Section.

Best Wishes to Him and ALL those who are working towards a Better Future for The above.
Author: Adisha
•Saturday, October 11, 2008
I love Everybody Loves Raymond. Saw an episode " Robert & Amy's Wedding " where everything in Robert's ( ie. Raymond's elder brother) wedding is going wrong and all the people involved are miserable. Eventually, the most beautiful day of the wedded couple's lives turns into a comedy of errors. At which point, Raymond has to give his best man's speech. In the speech he talks about the " importance of editing in our lives.". How it's sometimes essential just to edit out all the wrong things and look at what's right. He goes onto making fun of each family member's quirks and the goodness they all have in them, celebrating Their special moments together. An episode worth watching out for.

Loved the sense it made. To cut out the bad memories in our life, being thankful for all that we are blessed with that makes us smile. It's almost magical, how we can just edit out all our pain and misery just by repeatedly thinking about all that was good. Our brains are amazing in their capacity of shelving away episodes of our life that we just don't think about. Sure! Not all nightmares can be ignored, but it's just commonsense that mulling over what could have been done differently or what went wrong is Never going to help for the past can never be brought back. It's not about acting like bad things haven't happened. It's about cherishing all the good that Has happened. After all, if not for the bad, how would we know when life was better ?! That's where forgetting and forgiving comes from I guess, to give us the ability to move on. Isn't it a wonderful option - to edit out all the bad moments from our past, choosing to live life a little more happily ?!
Author: Adisha
•Thursday, October 09, 2008
Touching on three different topics today. Will try to keep it short -

Freedom Writers -
I saw the movie : Freedom Writers yesterday. One of those movies that get you to actually Think. You actually feel for those innumerable kids out there who just don't know right from wrong anymore. If only all teachers today felt that passionately about teaching their students about life. IF only people realized their self worth, keeping in mind that any other person too is special in their own way.It's so sad that children in today's world consider each day a war and getting through each one is a turmoil in itself. There are people out there who have no idea there's a better world out there. If only someone reached out and showed them what else they could achieve, just maybe they too might see things differently. A quote comes to mind " Treat someone as they are, and they'll remain that way. Treat them as they could be, and they'll become what they should be. "Once again my personal thoughts about education were re affirmed. We desperately need a change, in more ways than one.

The Darwin Awards -
Now here's a book whose cover reads - " commemorating those individuals who ensure the long term survival of our species by removing themselves from the gene pool in a sublimely idiotic fashion. ". I must confess I did Not read the cover. I browsed through the book, read one or two accounts and thought, " Ok ! Here's a book on stupidities of people. Should be hilarious. " and picked it up from the library. What it is, is a number of different morbid accounts of how people's idiotic actions have led to their death. Now my question is, what kind of world is it, when people mock the death of others ? Whatever the fashion, whatever the reason, I'm sure no one wants to be remembered for what they did wrong. Sure, some accounts, about thefts, thoughtlessness, and pure insaneness are humorous, but I cannot for the life of me crack a smile when someone's stupidity led to their Death. Cmon people ! We are better than that... And the kicker is, this book is the first in a Series ... Imagine that. Check out the site.

Happy Dussehra !!

In dark hours, I vent, rant, whine, even wallow in self pity occasionally, but have discovered that never have I let go of my faith in hope for a better tomorrow. They say, people who don't go through storms can never become able sailors. I've been through enough storms now to know that I am stronger, a little wiser, and most importantly that if you truly believe in what you stand for, all else falls into place. And I wish the same of all those out there who oscillate between decisions. In the end of it all, no matter what the situation, we should desire the satisfaction of doing the right thing, a concept that is becoming blurry by the minute today.On a day which symbolizes the good conquering all evil, I imagine a future, where one day we'll be able to remove all the grays from the world and color them with honesty, purity, prosperity and happiness. I send out a prayer for everyone hoping that the brightness of Today leads you to the path that's true, helping lighten all the suffering n fears you may have. Happy Dussehra to One and ALL !
Author: Adisha
•Tuesday, October 07, 2008
The other day in the mall. we decided to have lunch. Picking up our trays we walked over the a table already occupied by an elderly gentlemen. He got to talking to us about our food habits as Hindu Indians and till the next hour regaled us with anecdotes from his past, sharing with us life's many lessons. He talked, we listened, our apprehension growing into amusement. Being a teacher and a Jew, he had a LOT to say about all cultures, education, politics, and just how people were. What surprised me was even though from a by gone era ( he was young when Gandhi was assassinated), he had such a humorous yet modern and open minded view about everything. He was sharp and intuitive, noticing the smallest detail and he was well aware that he was monopolizing our time :). As I listened to him, I wondered if most people saw the world through eyes like his, then the world would certainly be more comfortable to be in. Once more I realized that people who live through a variety of experiences and are well read are a real boon to society for their view point is from above and Not a corner of the world. Though we immensely enjoyed our long sit down with him. it brought me thinking about people his age...

Why was it that this colorful man was in a mall, looking out for people just to listen to him ?
Was his family just busy or indifferent? Or was it that being independent he loved to go out and roam around sharing his knowledge with who ever was willing to listen? For whoever We told of this man,said, " awww, he must just want to be heard. ". It's like people assume that his family is just too plain busy to give him time. But giving them the benefit of doubt, couldn't it be that they have already heard those stories a million over or maybe He's alienated them with his thinking. Sure I loved what he had to say, for I agreed with it all. But what about those who do not agree. Or who in turn want to be heard? For I couldn't help noticing, in the one hour He spoke he asked us very few questions whose answers he ignored or turned into another story. Stories about his time in the army, opportunists, the people from different cultures he'd come across, his loving partnership with his wife, their cooking skills, his daughter, the importance of education, and the need for more teachers in the jersey county. Through it all, there was a common thread of self assessment and laughter, yet there was very little leeway for us to get a word in .. LOL.

I'm well aware that over time that people get really set in their ways. Specially once they get past 40 or so. But is it so hard to try and Listen to what your young ones have to say ? I know elders prefer teaching whatever they've learned but if you really want to connect to someone shouldn't communication be two way? Also, with certain people, it's hard to want to be with someone whose got rules for Everything. From sitting to talking. They have their own schedules and crowd to adhere to and fitting that into another life style is hard,I'm sure. Young children are like sponges, they absorb everything, but they also need to be able to express themselves. Is it so hard then to understand why children Sometimes once grown up avoid being with elders. Then they have favorites. When you see difference in treatments, you tend to mimic that as well and that's when you start having favorites too.

I admit I don't have a solid hang on this, for I'm projecting my personal experiences and each one's observations are unique. I know in the end, all anyone wants is love and respect but I guess my own point is, children though younger on the age scale also deserve to be heard. I just wish once in a while, elders actually Listened and were genuinely Interested in what was being said understanding what we have to say, preferring discussion and fun to lectures or formality. Would certainly make actual connections easier to maintain ....

In any case, if we never meet again John Lewis - Thank you for a lovely afternoon !
Author: Adisha
•Thursday, October 02, 2008
I really wish life came with an itinerary. A list of all the places we'll be at, in our lives. 10 years back I would never have imagined that I would be where I am today, physically and mentally. So much has changed, and will keep changing. And now, I wonder where I'll be next ...

How many times a day do you think that? I had a long conversation yesterday about what one would do, if they chose to leave their present way of life. And I realized that I'm not the only one worried about where I'll be few years down the line. How will I accomplish all that I want to? Will all my current plans work out or will life throw a new curve ball? In that case, will I have to start over once again? My uncle is hospitalized and it's once again shaken me. Nothing can be taken for granted. I don't want to end up being a particle in the sands of time. A million permutations and calculations run through my head 24 / 7, of what more I could do and how to better our lives. A few bright ideas aside, I'm deemed preoccupied and restless. This is not something new, but then of late, I somehow feel times running out and I need a jump start of sorts. I know I'm going somewhere, I just don't know where. But then if I don't know where I'm going, I doubt I'll reach anywhere...

Is that the case with most of us out there ?! Moving randomly, searching for an aim. What would you rather being doing RIGHT now ?
Author: Adisha
•Wednesday, October 01, 2008
It's that time of year again ! The air is turning cooler, the days are turning darker earlier and the festivals are creeping in. Eid has just gone by. Navratri and Halloween are up next bringing up Diwali and Thanksgiving and then Christmas. It's almost time for the lights to go up and the dancing will soon begin. In today's global crowd, no occasion goes by uncelebrated one way or other. The social networking sites are full of wishes from acquaintances n friends all over the world, giving even the internet a joyous feel. And in the real world, happiness and hope are in the air as the weather changes and the decorations go up. Family is missed and little traditions are revived! The world turns into a carnival of colors n decor. A second chance to all those at crossroads of life. Life doesn't give second chances often but like all else, opportunities of restarting or reconciliations have to be taken. And festivals provide the perfect excuse. All else is re inventing, so why can't we? In every way possible, with every one possible. To begin all anew in life with blessings, best wishes, prayers and of course Festivities.

So, what are you waiting for ? The time is now. Go forth n frolic ...
Author: Adisha
•Sunday, September 28, 2008
Not one to have ever taken interest in news, let alone politics, I find myself taking an active interest in both of late. With the elections coming up and the many calamities recently, I find the air charged with an unnatural intensity. You know, the kind where you feel something is going to happen?! I find myself apprehensive, specially with no definite knowledge of what the coming days will bring but being in no position to be of any consequence to the financial sector or nature, I can only continue fostering opinions.

The debate is finally on. I've been looking forward to how it actually works. I just love the concept of two parties standing up for what they believe in vocally, without fist fights or rudeness. Pot shots and off the cuff remarks are excused for the spice they provide. What is a debate but a kinda verbal joust between two intellectuals, which trying to convince the audience of their view points. And after the recent debate, I find John Mccain truly lacking in conviction in himself, let alone his campaign for president. I just can't be convinced in the capabilities of a person who cannot make eye contact or show any kinda charisma while on stage in front of His countrymen. Specially, when you are vying for the post that the whole world keeps an eye on. On the other hand, Barack Obama seems to fit the bill of a President in all manners. He's the kinda person who just exudes confidence. He's the kinda man, I wouldn't have any problem going up and asking for help were I ever in trouble. His body language, his tone, his eyes, all convey to you his conviction in his own words. That's the person who should be president. Mccain's age and charisma aside, I never agreed with his politics either. When I look at their views on the current Issues, it seems only natural for Obama to be in the driver's seat of this country. With due respect to his experience, I think today most countries today need a younger person to lead them into a new era. And here, I am not talking of Sarah Palin for she just seems too raw to be holding any kind of office. When talking about issues, talk about issues. When in an election, focus on your role in the same. Do not try and deflect from task by using disasters as a crutch. That's like a magician pulling a carrot back out of the hat, instead of the rabbit and making up a lame excuse for the same. And after the debate, it's clear as day, that the whole ruse of not campaigning was nothing more than a bluff that didn't work. No one needs such a person in a position of responsibility.

I can't vote here. As an immigrant I have limited options. But I have the right to voice my opinion to those who Can make a difference. I really regret not being able to have voted in my country. In most countries, specially India, politics is just plain dirty. In India, the politicians are actual low lifes who are just power hungry. The actual condition of the nation has nothing to do with their position in the government. Nothing about them says that they are here to make a difference. They come, they fill their pockets, play power games and when the time comes move on. When you look at any meetings in the parliament or news about current affairs, it's mostly just hilarious to see the words falling out of their mouths and what Issues for them are. Which is why, the youth in our country prefer staying away from all of it. Voting is mostly done by those few people who wouldn't even know how to make an educated guess as to who would be right ! And what difference does it make ? The most you can do is have the one eyed lead the blind into nothingness. There's a lot more our country and we are capable of, than what it is now. I truly wish more youngsters would take a leaf out of the movie YUVA and take an Active part in politics. We need people to work on making positive changes. But then who would be willing to put in their feet in these murky waters. Only those with experience in swimming with sharks. And so the vicious circle goes...

If only the people in the US, knew about the state of countries like ours, they would have No doubt in their minds as to who they should choose as president. Sure the situation might be similar here but it's subtle and far better preserved in many ways. With adept options, select someone whose willing to bring the country into totally different spotlight. Whose not afraid to say " Let's try this !" . If nothing else, just someone who at least has an aura of authority and self assurance. After all, look at the elite lot of people who have held this most sort after throne in the past. George Bush is, of course an exception to the rule for most of the others have been virtually regal making history in their own ways. America is the land of opportunities, the land of resources, the land which claims to have solutions whatever the problem, the land which inadvertently affects the socioeconomic conditions of other nations, the land of the future. A land, that I might add, at this moment is facing adversities, in more ways than one. Isn't it then, just the right time to hand the keys of such a kingdom to one who can envision on novel tomorrow ?!
Author: Adisha
•Friday, September 26, 2008
Someone recently commented that I seemed like I believed in Magic. Not sure how they got that impression but then I got to thinking. Do I believe in magic ? What is magic after all ? I think in theory it's basically anything related to the supernatural. But whose to say what the supernatural really is or to what extent it's grasp exists?!

Sure, I believe there might be spirits hanging around us, looking over / at us. But Ghosts ? With all due respect, wouldn't dead people have better things to do than think about different ways to scare us?? Just yesterday, I saw on the news, this orb of light that was wandering around a gym. It had been recorded by the gym's motion detectors and cameras. That I can believe. Maybe a relative who had passed on wanted to check out how the business was going. Or wanted to let them know that they were doing a good job or something. Being a believer of reason, I'm sure that even spirits that roam the earth do so with some logic behind it. Searching for answers or looking out for those they care about or couldn't leave behind alone. Now that makes sense. About people who become ghosts due to untimely deaths, well I'm sure those people have enough unfinished business that they needed to have completed somehow or other rather than wasting time getting a shriek out of an innocent passer by. Right ?? But hey, for a person who watches all horror movies through any veil available or one eye, I talk too much. The logic behind the veil being that it's a semi barrier that they wouldn't be able to cross. Even when pausing, I make sure it's not during any of the scary scenes. Why give them a chance to pull a Ring ??

I adore the idea of witchcraft. Snap of a finger, wiggle of a nose, wave of a wand, mix a few disgusting things and you're on your way to getting what you want, within reason. I totally get that if you cast a spell on someone it comes back to you three fold. After all, that's where Karma comes into play. And the whole coven of witches thing. I think that's kinda over rated. It's like joining a club where you talk your known language. And that's so cliched. Then there's the Harry Potter series. I just loved it. That's just an endless wave of possibilities. And it made sense too. Who would want to be given a wand with no instructions on how to use it? It would be like a person having a remote with no idea of how to use it. Totally frustrating !! Did you notice even Alladin's genie gave precise rules on being summoned?

How can I not mention at this point magic acts? Those wonderful illusions that make you go " Ohhhhhhhhh !!!! " in amazement. Unfortunately, the charm of that is getting lost with all the books on magic coming out. Today, magic is more of a source of keeping the innocence of children intact, just a little longer. As long as they go ga ga over Santa Clause, fairy tales and little mermaids, till then the world is a miraculous place to be. What is magic, but a belief that there is something out there that is beyond our understanding. A hope that there are yet adventures out there that we can go on, if only we keep our minds open enough. Isn't that why we let our imagination run wild hoping secretly somehow, somewhere all that's make believe for us, is truly happening?

If we look closely, there's a miracle to be found in all those little moments of life. We just need to be able to appreciate it. Like the birth of a child, it's first steps, light rain on a hot day, the smell of a lovely rose, leaves turning yellow then red, the splashing of the waves, a hidden valley, clouds so low that you can touch them and all those moments where you are awe struck by a stunning revelation or sight or feeling. One might call it nature but many a times, you find them being described as magical.

And then there's the ever lasting, ever flowing magic of love. The one kind of magic that has proven true, changing lives with it's mere presence. I guess if you love someone truly, even for a moment in your life, you have to believe in Magic. For there has to be something supernatural about a force, that alters everything as soon as it touches you. Lights turn brighter, music sounds clearer, smells turn nicer, tears turn to laughter, you notice each and every intricate detail there is to notice about things around you and the world transforms into a stunningly amazing, livable place. As long as you know there is love out there, just for you Life seems easier somehow. Now That Has to be Magic !! Wouldn't you agree ?
Author: Adisha
•Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Why are relations made so complicated, tangled up in expectations, formalities and mind games? Any friendship should be bound by heart, enriching your life in every way! Loaded with wonderful moments, sprinkled with laughter, with a lavish frosting of well meaning words of advice and lively, feel good conversations. Is a relationship that makes you uncomfortable or is really hard to work at worth the effort?

I'm sure we all agree, every relation is give and take. Of feelings, words, etiquette, gifts, compliments, good news, bad news, laughter and so on so forth. At any point, when give starts overtaking the take by a mile or more, is when it's time to pull out smoothly, cutting your losses short. For there are a lot of people, while never short on expectations, never stop to take stock that the friendship scales' balance is totally out of whack and needs a dose of real thoughtfulness. And sometimes, even the little kindness they shower is attached with a bill of prospects due immediately. Why is that? Can't people be kind just for the sake of being kind, just once in a while. Putting someone else before themselves, and not thinking about what they will get in return. I know for a fact, no act of kindness goes unrewarded so why is it that it is desired to be cashed in, instantly ?

I abhor games in any sort of kinship. I'm more of a say it as I see it person who shooting straight from the heart and prefer the same from others. Treat people as you want to be treated is my motto and I love being with people who I can be myself around. It's really hard when you have to think a hundred times before saying what's on your mind. It's important to know where you stand with those you relate to on a daily basis. Having dealt all sorts of crowds I've learned usually, things aren't how they seem and it's just plain sensible to sort the harsh truth from the portrayals so you can play the game better. Even then I've found that each time, I just find one more thing to adapt to, in order to please another. And still end up falling short on their measuring stick, for there's only so much I can keep in the air, even as a juggler.How can anyone function under such circumstances?

Consequently, I find myself wondering why people try so hard to make things work when it's really not meant to be. At every turn when you feel demeaned, lost, uncomfortable, awkward, ignored, and if nothing else: tired of trying to keep up with the jibes and thoughtless comments finding yourself bursting at the seams with hurt why is it that pressure by society, complications brought on by the network you're currently in, fear of turning friendships into groups or just an old relation that's past it's expiration date and is now starting to curdle compel us to grin and bear it modestly ? When you're afraid of loosing a relation, doesn't that fear haunt another as well ? So, why can't they co operate with you in keeping things unpretentious and just plain fun ...

So, hey ! all of you out there, shelf the games, keep things simple, keep them real, keep it sweet ...
Author: Adisha
•Wednesday, September 17, 2008
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Everything is ok, in the end ; if it's not ok, it's not the end.

To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.

Loving yourself is the beginning of a life long romance.

Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Time spent laughing is time spent with the Gods.

No day in which you have learned something is a complete loss.

Every problem has a solution, every night has a dawn.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is full already.

One should never consent to creep when on has an impulse to soar.

It's NEVER too late to be what you might have been.

When God takes away something from your grasp, he's not punishing you, but merely emptying your hand for you to receive something better.

No one can go back and make a new start, but anyone can start from Now and make a brand new ending.

In the depths of winter I learnt that there is an invincible summer in me.

Only the wisest and stupidest people do not change .

You can choose to do Nothing during a situation... but that TOO is a choice.

These are a few words that cheer me up whenever I string them together in my mind's window. They have gotten me through some really tough times and having believed in them with all my heart, I've found them encouraging me through to the light. I've collected them over time so kindly excuse my ignorance as to the authors of each. I just wanted to share them with all those out there who are looking for a sign, something that tells them to keep moving, no matter what.

You know those days when you feel down and think the world is passing you by. When everyone seems to be having the time of their lives, where you are stuck in a rut and nothing seems to be changing? Every thought that crosses your mind is what's going wrong and when things will be like they are for others. Well, the truth of the matter is no One person is happy all the time. We all have our ups and downs. And those that seem to be doing well, probably have a hidden corner of their lives that is dark and threatening. The trick is to Not let all the darkness we have in our lives to break free of that hidden box. We each have something that another secretly covets. And we each have ghosts that live within us just lying in wait to pull us into an endless abyss of diffidence. Life is a rainbow of all possible colors; some dark, some light, some vivid, some obscure. We just need to make it a point to keep our eyes on the bright colors and keep thinking up ways to paint over the one's that remind us of our failures. Our time will come, when it's meant to and it'll come with everything that we are destined for.

Well, it's in those days I try do one of many things to take me out of the self built walls of pity. Hey ! Life's too short to spend wallowing in a pool of regret, right ? The past is gone, the present is happening and can only be dealt with as it comes, and the future - well, we can just work on building the one we want and await the result.

When confidence is low and impatience is high, tears flow easily and no remorse is denied. Those days I think about all that's right in my life. Every tiny blessing that seems to blend into the background is brought forth and thanked for. Every lesson I've learned, ever person whose graced my life, their entry, their exit, the meaning of the traces they left is analyzed and relived. And then all of it is shelved back into my " by gone folder " after I access how it contributed to who I am today and what else I need to work on. I always try to keep myself as positive as I can. For the rest, I'm thankful to my husband for picking up the slack and helping see all the goodness.

I get up, get dressed, go out, pick up a book,catch a nice movie, do whatever cheers me up and have a laugh at my own expense, if necessary. I've noticed that people with a good sense of humor are usually those who can laugh at themselves. It's a blessing to be able to see the funny side of any situation. Surrounding yourself with positivity is another plus. I regret to say I wasn't always this positive, but over time I've grown to learn that negativity most eats at you. Sure, I still get worked up often and frequently but I vent and then I'm pretty much over it. After a while, the hilarity of the state of affairs and the possible outcomes make their way into my conscious. Soon, a plan starts forming and I work on what more I could do or change to adapt. It's more of a transition process that works towards a positive outlook. That's just me. I'm sure we all have our own ways to fight against our demons and make way for a better tomorrow. As long as we keep trying to pave the way to all the goodness life holds for us, the means is of no consequence.
Author: Adisha
•Saturday, September 13, 2008
I went to a party today and the time I spent there could be described as awkward at best which drove me to the thought that conducting a fun party among people at my age is a real work of art.

What I observed was firstly, people are too preoccupied with their day to day lives. Secondly, these days with all that's going on with their lives, having a stimulating conversation is a rarity. Thirdly, having fun for people after marriage comes down to talking about themselves, their current turmoils or their children. And finally, being a good host seems to have become a lost skill.

Thus, I went through the net in search for viable pointers to help along those of us who are at least trying to attain perfection in the art of Partying !!

Arrange food and party favors with thoughtfulness and a open heart.

Keep in mind the number of people and their needs before preparation.

Decorate artistically and serve with a smile.

Welcome each guest personally at the door.

Give each person personal attention.

Introduce people who don't know each other with a short background.

A frowning host makes guests uncomfortable.

Guests do not need to be privy to internal squabbles.

Do not contradict or correct the guest unnecessarily.

Inviting people of different cultures, find a median and stick to it.

Do not over emphasize all the trouble you have gone through.

Don't go into a speech about yourself and your troubles. Keep the conversation light.

Distribute work to guests selectively.

If something goes wrong, don't frown or fret. Explain it to the guests, they all have been there and can understand.

Smile at and try to find a common ground with guests you are meeting for the first time.

Find a stimulating topic for each group of people to get involved in.

Don't push your guests to eat but be vigilant and serve with a smile.

Never let anyone feel left out.

Arrange games to liven up the party, Only if the people involved are the partying kind.

End the evening before they keep glancing at their watches and eyeing the door. It's better they should leave regretfully wishing the night could have continued than with the relief and gratitude of an escaping convict.

And learn from others. In the area of kindness, there is always someone who is more thoughtful, more considerate.

Just as we frequently pick up decorating tips from a friend's event, so too should we pick up hosting tips to make the party a delightful experience !!!
Author: Adisha
•Friday, September 12, 2008
OMG ! I'm laughing out loud. After being told by my husband of the latest Jaya Bachchan / Raj Thackarey Anti - Marathi Issue a few days back, today I made the time to go and read up on the details as reported by the various sources on the net. I started snickering with the first lines and by the end of it was guffawing at the irrationality of the situation.

I just find incredible that people today would rather create a ruckus over such petty issues than Actual problems in Our country like poverty, education, growth. No wonder the world moves forward while we all are left bickering among ourselves. People here are Telegu, Maharashtrians, Gujraatis, Punjabis, Bengalis, Goans etc First and Indians and even Human Beings Much later. And least to say, when I saw the actual video of the alleged comment, a SANE person would be well aware of the fact that she meant No disrespect to anyone. It was just a casual remark thrown off the cuff for a laugh. And Mr. Bachchan and his family apologizing for such a trivial issue, displays the sorry state of our country. Like I've said before, whatever happened to freedom of speech and expression? Instead of curbing such comments, I think it's better to propagate the use of English as a universal language to encourage progress and living in harmony. Above all, demeaning people of that stature that have put Indians on the Global map with their efforts, is down right ridiculous.

Sure, Maharashtra is being crowded by other states' people. Same goes for Bangalore, Delhi and others. Wouldn't it be better to work on globalizing India rather than making each state one dimensional? The source of these problems is more the exponential development of Certain cities, leaving the smaller villages and towns behind. People are just moving in the direction where they find opportunities, progress and amenities. This scenario is replicated in Developing countries as well. What if tomorrow people in United States, Gulf, Australia start throwing out people from other cities? Cmon !! What are they thinking ? What sort of an example are they setting for countries in other worlds? Each one to his own and to hell with the rest.

Unfortunately these people are given support by the Media that irresponsibly provide them with the platform to give the necessary Hype to their campaign. Instead of cutting THESE ignorant protesters to size, they promote the issue till it gets blown out of proportion and to hell with who gets hurt in the process. When will the media realize the failure of their status as reporters when they don't work towards advertising crusades that actually need attention. It's appalling to see the incidents they consider juicy. No wonder news people all over the world have earned a bad name for themselves.

It's this attitude which is bringing down Our country and it's people as a whole and I can only hope that these so called "defenders of culture" soon come to their senses and find more essential and Rational causes for improving the state of their respective provinces to fight for ...
Author: Adisha
•Thursday, September 11, 2008
Once when I was really young, my aunt( mom's sister) taught me that the best way to understand another is to put yourself in their place, keeping in mind all that you know about THEM and then judging their actions. Then things don't seem so surprising. I imbibed that lesson into my circuit and found it extremely useful in being sympathetic to the concerns of another.

But lately, I'm apalled and to a point, demoraled by the lack of empathy people really have for another. They prefer living in their self built cocoons and judging everyone else by the yard stick they use for themselves. When will people learn that being a friend/ relative/ human even involves trying to feel for another. Sure, the days to keep another before yourself have long gone, but is it so hard to give a thought to another's state of mind before hurling words at them? In my life, I keep coming across people who inherently make it difficult for me to be in their presence. The more I find myself adapting to them, the more I realize how diffiult it is to keep a straight face and not scream out of exasperation. Friendship that needs to be worked on at those levels is better not faked at all. Whatever happened to free speech and tolerance of another. On one hand we have those who think they Have to flaunt themselves and their belongings all over the place and at the other end of the spectrum you have those who expect you to live by their rules accomodating Their every need and necessity, sidelining you, your words, your actions and your worth as a person. Everyone desires appreciation, love, understanding and above all empathy. Wonder what makes them feel they are a cut above the rest ? For Lord knows they have what every other person walking on the street has, will or can have. What have they done to earn the respect of mankind or just one other? Selfishness, greed, vanity, condescension, envy, are all masked by fake smiles and empty words. And the moment to try to break free of the bonds of formality, people cringe at the thought of having to show some real feeling or concern. In the end, you end up feeling the fool just for being yourself.

Fine ! Don't aim to achieve greatness or even respect, just once in a while give Some thought to the turmoils and pains of another. People really need to stand back and look at their own lives from an angle other than the centre and take stock of their actions/ words and the resonating effect they have on others. Today, more than ever I remember fondly the few people who've showered me with genuine gestures of kindness and understanding. Those few people with whom I can be myself and not have to be explicit at every turn. I cherish them forever and hope that I meet more like them for empathatic people seem to be a dying breed. Yet, for now I'm glad there are people there making lives easier to live.
Author: Adisha
•Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Read this today :

Share your best smiles for your family, don't save them for your clients, colleagues, friends, strangers on the street. Get your priorities straight. It's those smiles that keep your family together and help the love grow.

Brought me to Google and get the rest of this -

A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile.

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ~Mother Teresa

Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to.

Every day you spend without a smile, is a lost day.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.- Leo F. Buscaglia

A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around
- Carolyn Birmingham
Author: Adisha
•Monday, September 08, 2008
I've been wondering recently about dedications one gives to others. I've come to the conclusion that self confidence is highly supplemented by the faith of another in this world in your talents. Appreciating whatever one stands for plays a major role in boosting one's morale driving them to become a better version of themselves.

That is why, when successful in any kind of achievement we have people contributing it more to the people who gave them total, relentless support in pursuing their dreams than to their talents. Talents, I believe are like plants. They need nurturing, appreciation and faith in their growth as much as a good soil base. Not the nagging, pestering kind of support, mind you. But the subtle, slow, continuous nudges of praise and admiration. Everyone needs to know there's someone out there who believes in them pushing them forward when the chips go down and buoying them further when on an artistic high. Else with the wrong kind of attitude, talent too, like all else in life withers and wilts to nothingness.

I for one know, if not for those cherished few who've always had faith in me and stood beside me urging me on, I wouldn't even be where I am today.
Author: Adisha
•Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Have you ever wanted to go back in time and find out what went wrong between you and someone you were close to? Meet someone and talk to them about why it is that you guys are so apart when once you were joined at the hip? Fill in the holes and figure out all that still stumps you when you think about it? Sure, most of us just want to let bygones be bygones, treat tiffs as an experience and move on. But memories being those little nagging things that have the habit of coming up from no where, I'm sure all of us wonder about those times when we were miserable and misunderstood. No one can change the past, but we could maybe just solve the mystery behind each fight, misunderstanding, boycott, no talk zone, rudeness, betrayal and the likes ...

Why is it that people would rather jump to conclusions than talk things over and sort things out? Like I say time and again, I'm no saint but then why is it that no one ever tries to look at themselves and what they've done from another point of view. Sure, most fights are about each one being right in their own ways, but there is still the little matter of what actually transpired. And in most cases, it's just a silly matter of i said, you said or i did, you did. Most people do not even intend to be hurtful, it's just perceived as that because of the bias we hold regards to what we believe is right or wrong.

Before marriage, whenever I had any issues, I used to go around asking at least 2 or more people from different genres whether my position in Any distressing situation had a sound basis or not? Most of the times I'd get my perspective straightened re aligned or would be re assured and only then would I take actual action. Sure, it meant I was an open book but then, I'd rather be transparent than morally wrong. In the process, if nothing else, I got to know myself better. Now, this is not everyone's cup of tea. For not everyone can handle criticism or the metaphorical mirror but it's healthy to have someone in your life who'll turn you right side up.

How many of us have had close friends or relatives and had the courage to tell someone what's not likable about them ? And in time those less likable qualities grow into an ever increasing ravine between you two that just can't be filled with niceties or small talk anymore. Most will say, why should we say anything? It's their life, they probably know what they were doing and there's no point us getting our hands dirty. Why is it that we prefer being politically correct than truthful? Oh ! I don't suggest we go around correcting everyone, just the ones who we truly care about. But again, here there's the little snag that most people turn a blind eye to those who are good to them till the point of time things turn sour. The general motto is " He's good to me, so what should I care ? " One forgets that a person's basic nature is defined by his/her behaviour to all, and not just you. For chances are, a person whose rude to others, will at some or other time in the future, be rude to you too. And then wondering " where did that come from ? " is going to be futile. Every person has a face they put on for different people. It's hard to put them all together but once you do, be it good or bad, it's that time you truly know the kind of person you're dealing with.

Thankfully, I've had a chance to rekindle many a old friendships turned sour. Of course, not every relation is worth putting in the extra effort. Some people and their issues are just better left alone. Yet, in other cases, after talking things over and filling out the blanks, I found it's just a simple misunderstanding, whose spark was given excess fuel to by a third party who sat back and enjoyed whatever benefits they could reap from the spat. Some pieces of various puzzles still remain missing but on the whole, from each experience I've learnt that only if spoken my mind and sorted things out immediately, I could have saved myself a lot of heart ache. So, as important as it is to show the people you care about that you love them, it's equally important to be truthful and should any issue arise leave nothing unsaid ...
Author: Adisha
•Tuesday, August 26, 2008
It was a surprise to me when I came to the US and discovered the buildings are mostly made of wood. I was fascinated to learn that wood being in abundance in the long gone years, it made more sense to use readily available raw material than grapple with bricks and stone. Thus it's cheaper and easier to use wood for building. One can construct and dismantle a building piece by piece and put it back together MUCH faster than of stone or wood. Wood is even thought to be considerably more durable in some regards. In some cases, when required a home can simple be cut off at it's base and transported to the new location. Putting up a wall is almost as easy as 1,2,3.

Now after a year, I wonder if it's such a good thing. I can hear creaking below my feet as I walk around and fear the people living below are aware of my current weight. I've also developed magical powers under protest, which enable me to ascertain the current position of my upstairs' neighbors. Many a times, I've jerked at a noise that seemed to emanate from within my apartment and discovered that my fears were unfounded. Many a sleepless times can be attributed to ghostly sounds right beside you courtesy movements above. Over time it's gotten so bad that I had to personally go and visit my innocent neighbors and request them to somehow TRY to refrain from making any noise as it's quite disconcerting. Even to my ears the appeal sounded ridiculous but being helpless I groped at the only course of action available to me. It's almost impossible to expect one to walk around on pins and needles, when it's the old floor boards that are to be blamed. Don't get me wrong, I do count my blessings for the padding within the walls, that allow for sound proofing. Else, I'd really hate to be privy to others' conversations and vice-versa. I hear many a humorous anecdotes about neighbors getting distressed or even leaving at the slightest whimper. Like a neighbor who pounded on his walls to get my friends to stop talking, not shouting or dancing, just talking.

Permanent solutions include moving to a stronger structure or becoming a home owner. Both of which include considerable monetary commitments. Moving to the topmost floor would just be a temporary solution only putting me at the top of the pyramid. Now, whenever I hear my neighbors tip toeing around their house, I am grateful for the silent gaps between squeaks but wonder what other recourse is available for people like us who are distressed and yearning for a squeak free life? Never in my life, had I imagined that I would miss all the structures I've ever lived in, for the one reason that they are built of brick !!!!
Author: Adisha
•Monday, August 25, 2008
People who know that they know,
People who know that they don't know,
People who don't know that they know,
People who don't know that they don't know .

My husband, a fellow philosopher had once shared this tidbit with me. Further explained it unfolds to the fact that the world is made up of four types of people. People who know that they they know everything. These are those who are perennial know it alls and kind of hard to be around as they have to be right always. Then there are those enlightened ones who know that they don't know everything and are willing to learn from all sources to make up for the void. Then there are those that don't know that that there are things they are aware of. These set can be , in time, made aware of what they need in life. And then there are those few that are utterly clueless, which are the most dangerous kind for they are truly illiterate in every form and no amount of words can be used to convince them.

I'd found this a very profound and well found lesson. One of those things that help you understand the people around you and accept them for what they truly are. Now I'm not saying people can't change, it's just that most people after a certain age choose to NOT. Among the above Type of people the most important time to aim for is for those who know that they don't know. For once you become aware of something that needs to be learned or adapted to, life becomes much easier. Of course this applies to each and every part of our lives. From worldly knowledge to basic human nature.

An example for this might be, just after marriage when we ( my husband and I ) shared endless arguments for apparently no valid reason. Mornings or afternoons one thing would lead to another and before we knew it we'd be biting each others' heads off and laughing or the absurdities of our stubbornness later. In time, it dawned on him and me that the only time he gets crabby is when he's hungry. It's not that he can't handle hunger or hasn't spent days in his life when he's not eaten for some reason or other. It's that, at a given time he starts expecting food. And if he ( subconsciously ) feels that the food is available yet getting delayed for whatever reason he loses it. Full credit for him for adapting to his nature by being patient, when he's aware that lunch / dinner is going to be delayed. It's still quite easy to know when he's getting hungry as he gets low key. But atleast our fights have diminished to almost null for we both know are now aware of what occurs. I on my part, have learned to prevent the situation before it arises or to be understanding, and try to cheer him up by diverting his mind, if he does get restrained. This is something we all can learn from. When we become aware of a part of ourselves that can affect another person, we can do well to adapt to ourselves and make our spouses or those around us of that nature, the tell tale signs and the consequences of the reaction.

Which brings me to the thought of how many of us wonder each day of why or how so and so situation came to be ? I'm sure after some soul searching and thoughtful reflection on past events one just might come up with some quirks that are unique to us. Wouldn't you like to adapt, if not change the one part of you that Could lead to adverse reactions ? I'm sure that would help you and All those around you in more ways than one. Sure people around us, accept us once they get to know us better but shouldn't you want to know yourself better first ? Think about it . Become aware of what you don't know bout yourself Now.
Author: Adisha
•Friday, August 22, 2008
I just read some insightful blogs about India and our current state as a nation and was reminded of a few lessons that I learned and wanted to share here.

Caste Questions -

We had just come to India after the Gulf war and I had joined school, thanks to the Indian govt's law that any person whose come back due to the war, should be given Immediate admission in any school. Till then I wasn't aware than India was full of Punjabis, Gujratis, Up ites, Goans, Malayalis etc who are very attached to their regional essence and most are automatically drawn to and prefer being with their own community. I was in the Fifth standard, so that would make me 10 or 11. I joined school, quite unsure of myself when during the break someone came up to me and asked me " What are you ?" I replied " Hindu. " She laughed and said, " No, where are you from ? " I was totally aghast. I didn't know what I was ?! That evening I went rushing home and asked my mom what caste we were. She wondered what brought this on and I told her ofcourse. Then she told me, about our " Rajputness " as Singhs and that Dad is from UP and she herself is born and brought up as a Maharastrian. I was quite happy with the answer till it came to telling someone else ( till date I'm amazed as how frequently you are asked this question ) . But since then life has never been the same. Because every time, someone asked me where I was from, I'd say, " I was born and brought up in Kuwait. My mom is a Maharashtrian from Amravati and my dad's from MP, Gwalior . No, it's not a love marriage. ( the next obvious question ) And we are now basically settled in Bhopal. " In time it's become more difficult as I have added another city to my graduation and another to where my husband is from. So, basically now when anyone asks, I start of with " I'm a cocktail . " And move on from there, if the person is actually interested. Their reaction says a lot about Our future as acquaintances. Though that does mean I could never actually belong to any community or organization, but Hey ! it's a great conversation starter and I get equally interesting stories in return !!

Men in Orange Clothes -

Another lesson I learned about life in India, was through my Father. He would never give even a Rupee to people begging but would be willing for anyone who would work for it. I believe this is what instilled in me the desire to earn what I desired. Though he never left us wanting for anything, I always admired him and mom for always putting in that extra effort for the home, which of course in turn made where they chose to give their money mean more. A memory stands out here, when I was playing in our compound and I saw a man in orange clothes ask dad for money in the name of God. My father offered him an hour's work in return for Rs. 20. The man acted wondrously affronted and refused. Dad assured him, there was no insult involved and just needed some help . The man just walked off in a huff. Even at that age, I remember thinking if that man's really collecting for God, then what's wrong with working for it? With other similar experiences like rigged wires in auto rickshaws, people demanding more than they deserved, the use of the name of Bhagwan, Allah I came to the conclusion that people would rather beg, steal and scam in the name of whatever they can use, than earn their keep. I still wonder what makes people believe that they are entitled to someone else's hard earned money ?
Author: Adisha
•Thursday, August 21, 2008
Whenever I walk down the road, I don't know why sometimes I get into the rhythm of placing a foot in each block. As always, there just before the pavement ends, etched into the cement is the another sempiternal question , " What is LIfe ? ". I'm not even going to try to pen down my thoughts about this one.

It's just that something so miniscule in comparison to the apartment buildings around it, is such a mystery. It always amuses me that someone thought to scratch a few words into the wet mixture, just before it set enough to bear the wear and tear of a million feet walking over it day in and day out. I wonder also, how many people actually notice the tiny lettering. Do they mull over this graffiti or wonder what lies ahead or get pensive about the past ? There has to be some reaction, right? Wonder if the person who made this scribbling, young-old, male-female, did it with some thought or on a fantastic whim. I only wish I were that impromptu in my actions. Leaving my mark places I've been. Touching the lives of people I'll never meet or know....