Author: Adisha
•Friday, March 28, 2008

" The Only thing constant is life is Change. "

Evey second of our life brings about an chance to make a decision. To take that moment and make what you wish out of it. To turn your life around or to keep going the way you are. To smile, drop a tear or just blow it away in a whistle of worry. Mold it like clay into what we would like to see it. Seconds become days and days make the life we desire.

As days pass by and we look back, there might be some decisions we wish we had taken differently. But what's more important is to learn from them and make sure the next path we take is a better one that that.

Live life fully in the moment. Laugh, love, make the best of what you have and what you are at that time. Never regret that you didn't at least try to be the best version of you, you can become.

No matter what happens in days gone by, it's all a big part of what we are today. Good or bad, it might not be much but it's important. That's what led us to the roads that we are walking on today. The past is used in the past tense for one reason and one reason only. It's gone by. Holding onto it holds no value as long as you don't imbibe the lesson that comes with the smiles or tears gone by. More that what happened is important to know what part of us led to that moment and needed to be changed.

In each one of us there is a something special hidden deep within, just struggling to come to the surface and shine through. We just need to be able to be willing to keep trying. In any small way to attain the possibilities we dream for ourselves. It might not be easy to turn all our dreams into realities but if we try hard enough some may. Life keeps on changing. While we are unaware, our stories take turns we could never have imagined. But we can at least try to choose the ending we would like. Our own happy endings ...
Author: Adisha
•Friday, March 21, 2008

Spent another lovely evening with friends yesterday. It's so relaxing just hanging around with a couple of like minded people, laughing over the silliest things, talking about older times, philosophy or the latest gossip. Having a heart to heart with those close to us. Resolving silly problems that seem Huge when mulled over alone. Sorting out differences that may have arisen from a silly misunderstanding and growing closer in the process. Teasing, taunting each other over our fabled or true blemishes. Sharing a meal or delighting over a a game well played. Cheating and then justifying our actions on top of our voices, laughing like crazy knowing we will get caught eventually.

There is surely nothing that can compare to the spice that comes from just the right people in your life. To make you laugh, share your experiences, give a shoulder to times when you need a little support or a badly needed shove in the right direction. It's true that sharing our joys multiply them and our worries get halved. Subconsciously, we always search for the kind of people with whom we can be at the same level of view points. Someone who shares our likes, dislikes or cares for the same values in life. That's where the ever important First Impression Click comes from. And once in place, the path that the friendship is to take starts taking shape. A path that can lead us to new horizons and help us grow.

Even in marriage, it's of vital importance to be friends with the person you'd like to spend your life with. It's important to find someone who can do all the above and also be willing to stand by you through everything life throws at you. It's just as important to be able to just Talk to your partner as it is for the person to fulfill your set criteria. Someone who meets your values in life and with whom you can just have fun. Feel safe, even in silence knowing that you are there for each other.

Yet, even in marriage time comes when you feel the need for a vibrant interaction with peers. To enjoy outings with a group, sharing colorful cuisines, or just debate over mundane topics and being able to exchange parts of our lives giving us windows into each others worlds. To be able to see and understand ourselves better having looked through the eyes of another. Having a life apart is as important to spending time together. I heard somewhere, in a marriage two halves can not make One ie if you are dependent on your spouse to build a life together, it's going to be an uphill climb. So make sure to open the gates every once in a while and let others' tales and experiences enrich your lives.

Do not mistake me. I do not claim friendship is without fault and dangers. It's essential to find people who will be healthy for you and whom you can depend on. Someone who truly wishes the best for you and opens a world different from yours, with a light hand that lets go when your ways do not meet. Yet be willing to say the right thing even if it hurts you, if it shows you the mirror to your wrong doings. That said, it's essential to have set limits to expectations that may arise from a a false sense of closeness.

Not everyone is as giving, truthful or caring as they say or desire to be. It's vital that we differentiate the priorities of people we are in contact with so as not to get hurt by their actions in the long run. Many a times, people mistake words to equate to actions. That rarely happens. And we need to be fully aware of the signs that help define the lines between us. In this I believe, you should have the 100- 50 % principal. Assuming you are willing to give 10o % , it's valid only when you have only the expectation of 50 % from the other person. Any less and the relation is not worth investing in. Equal or more at Any given point, and that relation should be nurtured and cared for.

There are also people who are so self involved that they even forget basic courtesies and many times don't even realize that they are offending those they hold close. And yet, they claim to care for and be concerned about your welfare. Be wary of such people who are oblivious of their own actions and the subsequent impressions created. Friendship is based on mutual respect and trust on the fact that one cares for another. If these words are not seen to be interpreted into actions then it's advantageous to limit one's affections.

All in all, a healthy friendship is a big part of any relation in life, making every moment worth twice the enthusiasm and half the sorrow. It's the elixir of life, which enriches your being in every way, specially when enjoyed in moderation.
Author: Adisha
•Wednesday, March 19, 2008
I was wondering today of how there is a story behind every person. Imagine if you could somehow see snatches of the colorful lives of people you come across. Often standing at a market or sitting in a restaurant I look at the people around me. I wonder who they are and how they came about to be in this place and what would come of their life. Whether in some way, having noticed them I may have affected some part of my own life. I've heard it many a times and it IS fun, to just make up a story for each person's life and come up with what they would say or do given any situation.

Each of us passes through a number of rainbows or puddles. Each of us leave an impression, however small on the people whose life we pass through. Sometimes, I hear a story about a person I've never even met and when I repeat it to someone else in fascination I wonder whatever might have happened to the person concerned. I know it might make me sound very gossipy but then who isn't ?! We all love a juicy tit bit now and then. Imagine a world where there was no human interaction, and we didn't have any stories to tell.

Even the mythology, legends of myths we all relish are sure to have Some basis in fact. I'd like to believe that. What is life without a little faith in magic or mystery? After all, it IS human nature to hear a story that May be based in facts and multiply it exponentially to the fascination level one would like to achieve when the time comes to repeat it. The multiplying is wrong, admittedly. Then again its to such diligent story tellers we may be in gratitude, for our history lessons. Once in while, when I'm arguing with someone over a myth or event from history, I must over the number of things that probably were Never mentioned or recorded or even destroyed in time. I wish a lot more people felt safe enough to maintain diaries so that we had accurate accounts of how life used to be concisely.

I guess it's this wishful thinking that disturbs me at the liberties people take with the truth or the number of fascinating stories we may be missing out on. Thankfully there are a number of fiction writers around, so that we can learn something about life from peoples' experiences assuming their stories have some basis in truth...
Author: Adisha
•Tuesday, March 18, 2008
The more we try to grasp at the butterfly that they call Happiness, the more it seems to go out of our reach. The more we try to bring reason to someone, to have Them try to grasp it, the more they plead ignorance. We are defeated either way, when we chase it for ourselves or for someone we love. The only way one might have hope for That elusive eternal smile, is to just bid our time and wait. Hoping that as the moments fly by everything in our life culminates into one moment of reason where everything makes sense. Every memory, incident, or worry that we carry deep within us, will have some logic to it when the big picture comes into view.

Happiness may be found in the Now. In the words exchanged with a loved one, in a smile that touches our heart, in a walk around the market, in a gift received with love, in a game played with laughter, in a delicate meal that enriches the palate, any one moment in which we smile or are at peace. Every moment we lived, thats a sweet memory now or will become a fond thought soon. Just a moment.

Yet many a times, we lose sight of the present in what we could have, need more of, or thought we deserved and didn't get. We dream of the lost time in which we could have become something else, something more, that we think would have make us happy forever. We brood over the lost, the gone, the failures, the tears, the anguish and forget about living today and making a tomorrow. Working on making something of what we have today so that we can worth something in our eyes, if no one else's. No one might appreciate us, no one might care, but we do know what we did, what we are, what we can be. Besides, I'm fairly sure that at any given time, there is always at least one person who touches your life, values your actions and the smile in your eyes. Isn't that cause enough to be happy in the thought that there are possibilities? That there is hope at the end of this seemingly endless tunnel?

There is a light that guides us through every path of light. A flicker, if you may, that tells us that we can make it through the darkest moment, with all the strength we can muster. Let that light, whatever or who ever that might be in this moment, be your reason to smile.
Author: Adisha
•Monday, March 17, 2008
Last weekend, among shopping, bowling and tv, I had the pleasure of enjoying authenti chinese food. Being a spicy freak, I was suitably surprised to learn that I do enjoy this cuisine as well( thankfully, it was not completely bland ). I had always wanted to try out this kind of food, not just for a new experience but to see how they gave the take out in those cute rice cartons like we see on tv. And I was Not dissappointed in the least. The service was very friendly ( i believe the shop is run by a family) and I loved the ambience, which led me and my hubby to get to talking about how few of such "mom and pop stores" are left.

The big chains of restraunts have got the food service industry down to a science. They have helped the economy and the working lot and made sure we are all fed after the long bouts of shopping in the mall. Yet, I can't help but feel sorry about the slow loss of the charm of the small restraunts and shops, which make you feel practically at home and where the customer is king. To be treated with respect, courtesy and above all be glad to see a personal touch to everything, from the menu to the service.

I for one, am appalled at the lack of customer service there is in malls and chain stores. It is rare to find someone around to help you and if you do, you're lucky if you can find someone who Knows what you are talking about. Or for the matter, be aware of what they Should be talking bout. On the off chance, I find someone who does Any of the above, my heart glows in appreciation. Anyway, my point is not to complain about the big stores but rather to explain by contrast how important and comforting it is to go into a small shop or cafe or restraunt and be welcomed and be charmed and be educated about a product or a recipe. To be able to cringe and laugh over the price said of an item and later enjoy the haggling over the said price knowing you would be able to get it for less than half. And how I enjoy getting something thrown in free, or for much lesser price so that that sales person knows that he's earned yet another loyal custormer.

All in all, though the big chains are essential for the convenience they provide, I believe one should also begin to fully appreciate the charm and ambience that can only come for the shops that are down the street.
Author: Adisha
•Friday, March 14, 2008
Lot of people read books, and lot of people don't. Yet, many a times I'm seen with my current interest, I hear the comment similar to," How is it that you can read so much? "or the more common, " I could never read that way." Honestly, sometimes I wonder why people forget that going through newspapers, and surfing the net also involves a lot of reading as well.

These days I have the luxury of going to the library and picking up a huge pile to keep myself occupied throughout the month. I think my husband is still amazed at the number of books I make him carry home. Never been into serious literature (though I try it once a while) , I read a Lot of fiction and love disappearing into the make believe. Love the smell of old and new books, though Some books plain stink these days :). And I love the feel of each page passing through my fingers. Don't get me wrong. I surf the net as much as the next person, yet the thought of cozying up into a blanket on my bed under my bedside lamp or a wrapped up sitting on chair leafing through pages gives me immense pleasure.

I started when I was young. Where I was, there was little for kid to do, other than stay at home, watch movies or read. Started with Archies, Richie Rich, Tinkle, Amar Chitra Katha ( that gave me all the knowledge of our mythology ). Moving onto Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Famous Five, Secret Seven. And then I went onto fiction, murder mysteries like Agatha Cristie, Perry Mason. Then came the Danielle Steeles and Sydney Sheldons. How can I not mention, the evergreen Readers Digest as a source of information on most walks of life ( though, they and all other magazines have gotten monotonous in their list of articles with time ). And then, being a girl, I was of course drawn to the Mills and Boons types of books. One day after picking up a book my elder bro got from college [ As the crow flies ] , I was hooked on Jeffry Archer. Am one book away from completing my collection but then his writing seems to be getting dissappointing. Then there was the tide of Harry Potter series, Bourne and Dan Brown. I still say movies can't live up to the charm of the book. Currently, on my nightstand I have the company of different authors including Ayn Rand, Wilbur Smith, James Patterson, Jackie Collins and Elizabeth Gage... After all these years, I have realized I have not outgrown Any of these books... The characters, their life, their statements

My bro and I used to love going to my aunt's house in Goa every year, specially to sit in the balcony by the sea and go through the comics and as we grew older novels. My uncle, and His sisters were avid readers when they were young and had a library to die for. My bro and I would run for That room as soon as we could, to go through as many books as we could get our greedy eyes on. Come to think of it, it was like candy to us. Even if it meant reading slyly, at the cost of our studies or getting scolded. If given an option, we always asked for books as gifts. Books gave us soothing company through long journeys, boring moments, lonely times or when seeking alone time. Till date, even though he's 10 years younger to me, we discuss all sorts of books we've read. By the way, He's heavily into Manga these days, and I just don't get it ( generation gap ??? ) . I've even developed a habit of always having a book close to my pillow to help calm me to sleep, on restless days.

There is never a dull moment, when I have a book close at hand. I believe, most books influence the way we think and in some or the other way affect our lives by touching a part of us, we never knew existed. Though I try to widen my net of authors and subjects, often I find myself wishing I could be as diligent a student. To date, there tons of books lying at my parent's place , lying in a cupboard untouched. I hope some day I can get my hands back on then or the legacy passes on.

I'd like to know of there are others out there, for whom books are a way of life or how certain books have influenced them. Maybe I could try them next... :)
Author: Adisha
•Thursday, March 13, 2008
The perspective of every person is subject to the situation they are in. Everyone knows that. But do they know that it is easier to get a handle on the true situation were they to take a step back and look at the full picture? Though sensible, it's practically impossible to do that. If we took each of memories - good or bad and turn them around in our hands looking through the eyes of each person, we would find that every sight is different from another's angle.

I'm sure many of us have all wished other's to put themselves in our shoes and try understanding our viewpoint. But it's only when we put ourselves in their shoes can we grasp the actual scenario. It's funny how when I look back on events in my life now, i sometimes realize what/how things must have seemed to another. Though, at the time, the flow of the moment never gives you the time to think before acting.

Many times, having put myself in another's shoes I realized that it can be shocking how little thought people put into their actions but later come to the conclusion, it's not yourself you should put in the shoes but the person you're thinking of. Only then can sense be made of any experience.

Only that doesn't cut it either coz in the end every person is allowed the justification - That's the way I am... which is no excuse !!!! And the cycle continues .
Author: Adisha
•Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Yesterday was a day spent wallowing in a pool of despair of all the problems that touch my life. Once again, I felt the need to be of some use for the greater good. Of what, you might ask? To that I have no answer. I do believe that every event, every moment in our lives adds up to a Total somehow, which decides where we should put our next foot forward. Every decision, every thought we make leads us to a new destination. Of all the paths before us, the ones we choose are the ones that define our today and create a new tomorrow. Thus, the question arises, do I speak against fate or should we simply be more thoughtful with our actions so as to attain the life we think we deserve? Irrespective, the ways of the world say every action or reaction had a predefined method in which we should act and think. Any different and well, we just aren't acceptable. I contradict myself ? Yes, I believe I do. These are plain musings of one whose thoughts are far beyond her life and keep getting away from her. Yet, in my experience I've seen that what we believe right for us, isn't usually so. Sometimes, what we don't desire is exactly what brings us the elusive happiness and what we do desire gives us nothing but a sense of emptiness and despair...

But here again, I drift off, as I always do. I spent the day contemplating of how to make something of the days passing me by. With only a memory or two to remind me of what took place in the haze. Thus, I came up with this. Putting words onto this eternal void that envelopes the hopes and dreams of millions, in the hope that maybe it helps me define what it is I'm after Now.

Incidentally, I have noticed that I'm feeling much better today, having decided on an outlet to my energy, so to speak. This will do, for now. :) So that lesson for today is, want not what you dare not try for. Make any sense of that you may...
Author: Adisha
•Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Well , here I am. So far away from the place where I've left behind people I care for. Family and friends from a time ago. It's not that long, but it seems like a life time. I've made a cozy little nest for myself here , thanks to the love from my better half. Yet some days I wish I could fly away to be with my own kind and relive my old life. Just for a little while, to fill a void that re appears time and again. Inside, I know I won't find any shred of the old life there, and maybe that's another reason I want to go. To clear off the dust from the mirrors there and see how much life has changed.

I just wish when I go, there are a few smiles and a few open arms that welcome me back and are as glad to see me, as I think I'm going to be to see them. It's been almost a year now. I've been married for that long. Most of them were blessed with beautiful life partners as well during that time. I missed the weddings and they missed mine, but I wish to see happiness that the inevitable changes has brought about in their lives. If only to touch their lives in some small way, and once again become a memory that may or may not be soon forgotten.

To all those away from home. I wish you a safe journey home back to your friends and family, some day.