Author: Adisha
•Friday, March 21, 2008

Spent another lovely evening with friends yesterday. It's so relaxing just hanging around with a couple of like minded people, laughing over the silliest things, talking about older times, philosophy or the latest gossip. Having a heart to heart with those close to us. Resolving silly problems that seem Huge when mulled over alone. Sorting out differences that may have arisen from a silly misunderstanding and growing closer in the process. Teasing, taunting each other over our fabled or true blemishes. Sharing a meal or delighting over a a game well played. Cheating and then justifying our actions on top of our voices, laughing like crazy knowing we will get caught eventually.

There is surely nothing that can compare to the spice that comes from just the right people in your life. To make you laugh, share your experiences, give a shoulder to times when you need a little support or a badly needed shove in the right direction. It's true that sharing our joys multiply them and our worries get halved. Subconsciously, we always search for the kind of people with whom we can be at the same level of view points. Someone who shares our likes, dislikes or cares for the same values in life. That's where the ever important First Impression Click comes from. And once in place, the path that the friendship is to take starts taking shape. A path that can lead us to new horizons and help us grow.

Even in marriage, it's of vital importance to be friends with the person you'd like to spend your life with. It's important to find someone who can do all the above and also be willing to stand by you through everything life throws at you. It's just as important to be able to just Talk to your partner as it is for the person to fulfill your set criteria. Someone who meets your values in life and with whom you can just have fun. Feel safe, even in silence knowing that you are there for each other.

Yet, even in marriage time comes when you feel the need for a vibrant interaction with peers. To enjoy outings with a group, sharing colorful cuisines, or just debate over mundane topics and being able to exchange parts of our lives giving us windows into each others worlds. To be able to see and understand ourselves better having looked through the eyes of another. Having a life apart is as important to spending time together. I heard somewhere, in a marriage two halves can not make One ie if you are dependent on your spouse to build a life together, it's going to be an uphill climb. So make sure to open the gates every once in a while and let others' tales and experiences enrich your lives.

Do not mistake me. I do not claim friendship is without fault and dangers. It's essential to find people who will be healthy for you and whom you can depend on. Someone who truly wishes the best for you and opens a world different from yours, with a light hand that lets go when your ways do not meet. Yet be willing to say the right thing even if it hurts you, if it shows you the mirror to your wrong doings. That said, it's essential to have set limits to expectations that may arise from a a false sense of closeness.

Not everyone is as giving, truthful or caring as they say or desire to be. It's vital that we differentiate the priorities of people we are in contact with so as not to get hurt by their actions in the long run. Many a times, people mistake words to equate to actions. That rarely happens. And we need to be fully aware of the signs that help define the lines between us. In this I believe, you should have the 100- 50 % principal. Assuming you are willing to give 10o % , it's valid only when you have only the expectation of 50 % from the other person. Any less and the relation is not worth investing in. Equal or more at Any given point, and that relation should be nurtured and cared for.

There are also people who are so self involved that they even forget basic courtesies and many times don't even realize that they are offending those they hold close. And yet, they claim to care for and be concerned about your welfare. Be wary of such people who are oblivious of their own actions and the subsequent impressions created. Friendship is based on mutual respect and trust on the fact that one cares for another. If these words are not seen to be interpreted into actions then it's advantageous to limit one's affections.

All in all, a healthy friendship is a big part of any relation in life, making every moment worth twice the enthusiasm and half the sorrow. It's the elixir of life, which enriches your being in every way, specially when enjoyed in moderation.
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