Author: Adisha
•Sunday, September 28, 2008
Not one to have ever taken interest in news, let alone politics, I find myself taking an active interest in both of late. With the elections coming up and the many calamities recently, I find the air charged with an unnatural intensity. You know, the kind where you feel something is going to happen?! I find myself apprehensive, specially with no definite knowledge of what the coming days will bring but being in no position to be of any consequence to the financial sector or nature, I can only continue fostering opinions.

The debate is finally on. I've been looking forward to how it actually works. I just love the concept of two parties standing up for what they believe in vocally, without fist fights or rudeness. Pot shots and off the cuff remarks are excused for the spice they provide. What is a debate but a kinda verbal joust between two intellectuals, which trying to convince the audience of their view points. And after the recent debate, I find John Mccain truly lacking in conviction in himself, let alone his campaign for president. I just can't be convinced in the capabilities of a person who cannot make eye contact or show any kinda charisma while on stage in front of His countrymen. Specially, when you are vying for the post that the whole world keeps an eye on. On the other hand, Barack Obama seems to fit the bill of a President in all manners. He's the kinda person who just exudes confidence. He's the kinda man, I wouldn't have any problem going up and asking for help were I ever in trouble. His body language, his tone, his eyes, all convey to you his conviction in his own words. That's the person who should be president. Mccain's age and charisma aside, I never agreed with his politics either. When I look at their views on the current Issues, it seems only natural for Obama to be in the driver's seat of this country. With due respect to his experience, I think today most countries today need a younger person to lead them into a new era. And here, I am not talking of Sarah Palin for she just seems too raw to be holding any kind of office. When talking about issues, talk about issues. When in an election, focus on your role in the same. Do not try and deflect from task by using disasters as a crutch. That's like a magician pulling a carrot back out of the hat, instead of the rabbit and making up a lame excuse for the same. And after the debate, it's clear as day, that the whole ruse of not campaigning was nothing more than a bluff that didn't work. No one needs such a person in a position of responsibility.

I can't vote here. As an immigrant I have limited options. But I have the right to voice my opinion to those who Can make a difference. I really regret not being able to have voted in my country. In most countries, specially India, politics is just plain dirty. In India, the politicians are actual low lifes who are just power hungry. The actual condition of the nation has nothing to do with their position in the government. Nothing about them says that they are here to make a difference. They come, they fill their pockets, play power games and when the time comes move on. When you look at any meetings in the parliament or news about current affairs, it's mostly just hilarious to see the words falling out of their mouths and what Issues for them are. Which is why, the youth in our country prefer staying away from all of it. Voting is mostly done by those few people who wouldn't even know how to make an educated guess as to who would be right ! And what difference does it make ? The most you can do is have the one eyed lead the blind into nothingness. There's a lot more our country and we are capable of, than what it is now. I truly wish more youngsters would take a leaf out of the movie YUVA and take an Active part in politics. We need people to work on making positive changes. But then who would be willing to put in their feet in these murky waters. Only those with experience in swimming with sharks. And so the vicious circle goes...

If only the people in the US, knew about the state of countries like ours, they would have No doubt in their minds as to who they should choose as president. Sure the situation might be similar here but it's subtle and far better preserved in many ways. With adept options, select someone whose willing to bring the country into totally different spotlight. Whose not afraid to say " Let's try this !" . If nothing else, just someone who at least has an aura of authority and self assurance. After all, look at the elite lot of people who have held this most sort after throne in the past. George Bush is, of course an exception to the rule for most of the others have been virtually regal making history in their own ways. America is the land of opportunities, the land of resources, the land which claims to have solutions whatever the problem, the land which inadvertently affects the socioeconomic conditions of other nations, the land of the future. A land, that I might add, at this moment is facing adversities, in more ways than one. Isn't it then, just the right time to hand the keys of such a kingdom to one who can envision on novel tomorrow ?!
Author: Adisha
•Friday, September 26, 2008
Someone recently commented that I seemed like I believed in Magic. Not sure how they got that impression but then I got to thinking. Do I believe in magic ? What is magic after all ? I think in theory it's basically anything related to the supernatural. But whose to say what the supernatural really is or to what extent it's grasp exists?!

Sure, I believe there might be spirits hanging around us, looking over / at us. But Ghosts ? With all due respect, wouldn't dead people have better things to do than think about different ways to scare us?? Just yesterday, I saw on the news, this orb of light that was wandering around a gym. It had been recorded by the gym's motion detectors and cameras. That I can believe. Maybe a relative who had passed on wanted to check out how the business was going. Or wanted to let them know that they were doing a good job or something. Being a believer of reason, I'm sure that even spirits that roam the earth do so with some logic behind it. Searching for answers or looking out for those they care about or couldn't leave behind alone. Now that makes sense. About people who become ghosts due to untimely deaths, well I'm sure those people have enough unfinished business that they needed to have completed somehow or other rather than wasting time getting a shriek out of an innocent passer by. Right ?? But hey, for a person who watches all horror movies through any veil available or one eye, I talk too much. The logic behind the veil being that it's a semi barrier that they wouldn't be able to cross. Even when pausing, I make sure it's not during any of the scary scenes. Why give them a chance to pull a Ring ??

I adore the idea of witchcraft. Snap of a finger, wiggle of a nose, wave of a wand, mix a few disgusting things and you're on your way to getting what you want, within reason. I totally get that if you cast a spell on someone it comes back to you three fold. After all, that's where Karma comes into play. And the whole coven of witches thing. I think that's kinda over rated. It's like joining a club where you talk your known language. And that's so cliched. Then there's the Harry Potter series. I just loved it. That's just an endless wave of possibilities. And it made sense too. Who would want to be given a wand with no instructions on how to use it? It would be like a person having a remote with no idea of how to use it. Totally frustrating !! Did you notice even Alladin's genie gave precise rules on being summoned?

How can I not mention at this point magic acts? Those wonderful illusions that make you go " Ohhhhhhhhh !!!! " in amazement. Unfortunately, the charm of that is getting lost with all the books on magic coming out. Today, magic is more of a source of keeping the innocence of children intact, just a little longer. As long as they go ga ga over Santa Clause, fairy tales and little mermaids, till then the world is a miraculous place to be. What is magic, but a belief that there is something out there that is beyond our understanding. A hope that there are yet adventures out there that we can go on, if only we keep our minds open enough. Isn't that why we let our imagination run wild hoping secretly somehow, somewhere all that's make believe for us, is truly happening?

If we look closely, there's a miracle to be found in all those little moments of life. We just need to be able to appreciate it. Like the birth of a child, it's first steps, light rain on a hot day, the smell of a lovely rose, leaves turning yellow then red, the splashing of the waves, a hidden valley, clouds so low that you can touch them and all those moments where you are awe struck by a stunning revelation or sight or feeling. One might call it nature but many a times, you find them being described as magical.

And then there's the ever lasting, ever flowing magic of love. The one kind of magic that has proven true, changing lives with it's mere presence. I guess if you love someone truly, even for a moment in your life, you have to believe in Magic. For there has to be something supernatural about a force, that alters everything as soon as it touches you. Lights turn brighter, music sounds clearer, smells turn nicer, tears turn to laughter, you notice each and every intricate detail there is to notice about things around you and the world transforms into a stunningly amazing, livable place. As long as you know there is love out there, just for you Life seems easier somehow. Now That Has to be Magic !! Wouldn't you agree ?
Author: Adisha
•Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Why are relations made so complicated, tangled up in expectations, formalities and mind games? Any friendship should be bound by heart, enriching your life in every way! Loaded with wonderful moments, sprinkled with laughter, with a lavish frosting of well meaning words of advice and lively, feel good conversations. Is a relationship that makes you uncomfortable or is really hard to work at worth the effort?

I'm sure we all agree, every relation is give and take. Of feelings, words, etiquette, gifts, compliments, good news, bad news, laughter and so on so forth. At any point, when give starts overtaking the take by a mile or more, is when it's time to pull out smoothly, cutting your losses short. For there are a lot of people, while never short on expectations, never stop to take stock that the friendship scales' balance is totally out of whack and needs a dose of real thoughtfulness. And sometimes, even the little kindness they shower is attached with a bill of prospects due immediately. Why is that? Can't people be kind just for the sake of being kind, just once in a while. Putting someone else before themselves, and not thinking about what they will get in return. I know for a fact, no act of kindness goes unrewarded so why is it that it is desired to be cashed in, instantly ?

I abhor games in any sort of kinship. I'm more of a say it as I see it person who shooting straight from the heart and prefer the same from others. Treat people as you want to be treated is my motto and I love being with people who I can be myself around. It's really hard when you have to think a hundred times before saying what's on your mind. It's important to know where you stand with those you relate to on a daily basis. Having dealt all sorts of crowds I've learned usually, things aren't how they seem and it's just plain sensible to sort the harsh truth from the portrayals so you can play the game better. Even then I've found that each time, I just find one more thing to adapt to, in order to please another. And still end up falling short on their measuring stick, for there's only so much I can keep in the air, even as a juggler.How can anyone function under such circumstances?

Consequently, I find myself wondering why people try so hard to make things work when it's really not meant to be. At every turn when you feel demeaned, lost, uncomfortable, awkward, ignored, and if nothing else: tired of trying to keep up with the jibes and thoughtless comments finding yourself bursting at the seams with hurt why is it that pressure by society, complications brought on by the network you're currently in, fear of turning friendships into groups or just an old relation that's past it's expiration date and is now starting to curdle compel us to grin and bear it modestly ? When you're afraid of loosing a relation, doesn't that fear haunt another as well ? So, why can't they co operate with you in keeping things unpretentious and just plain fun ...

So, hey ! all of you out there, shelf the games, keep things simple, keep them real, keep it sweet ...
Author: Adisha
•Wednesday, September 17, 2008
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Everything is ok, in the end ; if it's not ok, it's not the end.

To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.

Loving yourself is the beginning of a life long romance.

Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Time spent laughing is time spent with the Gods.

No day in which you have learned something is a complete loss.

Every problem has a solution, every night has a dawn.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is full already.

One should never consent to creep when on has an impulse to soar.

It's NEVER too late to be what you might have been.

When God takes away something from your grasp, he's not punishing you, but merely emptying your hand for you to receive something better.

No one can go back and make a new start, but anyone can start from Now and make a brand new ending.

In the depths of winter I learnt that there is an invincible summer in me.

Only the wisest and stupidest people do not change .

You can choose to do Nothing during a situation... but that TOO is a choice.

These are a few words that cheer me up whenever I string them together in my mind's window. They have gotten me through some really tough times and having believed in them with all my heart, I've found them encouraging me through to the light. I've collected them over time so kindly excuse my ignorance as to the authors of each. I just wanted to share them with all those out there who are looking for a sign, something that tells them to keep moving, no matter what.

You know those days when you feel down and think the world is passing you by. When everyone seems to be having the time of their lives, where you are stuck in a rut and nothing seems to be changing? Every thought that crosses your mind is what's going wrong and when things will be like they are for others. Well, the truth of the matter is no One person is happy all the time. We all have our ups and downs. And those that seem to be doing well, probably have a hidden corner of their lives that is dark and threatening. The trick is to Not let all the darkness we have in our lives to break free of that hidden box. We each have something that another secretly covets. And we each have ghosts that live within us just lying in wait to pull us into an endless abyss of diffidence. Life is a rainbow of all possible colors; some dark, some light, some vivid, some obscure. We just need to make it a point to keep our eyes on the bright colors and keep thinking up ways to paint over the one's that remind us of our failures. Our time will come, when it's meant to and it'll come with everything that we are destined for.

Well, it's in those days I try do one of many things to take me out of the self built walls of pity. Hey ! Life's too short to spend wallowing in a pool of regret, right ? The past is gone, the present is happening and can only be dealt with as it comes, and the future - well, we can just work on building the one we want and await the result.

When confidence is low and impatience is high, tears flow easily and no remorse is denied. Those days I think about all that's right in my life. Every tiny blessing that seems to blend into the background is brought forth and thanked for. Every lesson I've learned, ever person whose graced my life, their entry, their exit, the meaning of the traces they left is analyzed and relived. And then all of it is shelved back into my " by gone folder " after I access how it contributed to who I am today and what else I need to work on. I always try to keep myself as positive as I can. For the rest, I'm thankful to my husband for picking up the slack and helping see all the goodness.

I get up, get dressed, go out, pick up a book,catch a nice movie, do whatever cheers me up and have a laugh at my own expense, if necessary. I've noticed that people with a good sense of humor are usually those who can laugh at themselves. It's a blessing to be able to see the funny side of any situation. Surrounding yourself with positivity is another plus. I regret to say I wasn't always this positive, but over time I've grown to learn that negativity most eats at you. Sure, I still get worked up often and frequently but I vent and then I'm pretty much over it. After a while, the hilarity of the state of affairs and the possible outcomes make their way into my conscious. Soon, a plan starts forming and I work on what more I could do or change to adapt. It's more of a transition process that works towards a positive outlook. That's just me. I'm sure we all have our own ways to fight against our demons and make way for a better tomorrow. As long as we keep trying to pave the way to all the goodness life holds for us, the means is of no consequence.
Author: Adisha
•Saturday, September 13, 2008
I went to a party today and the time I spent there could be described as awkward at best which drove me to the thought that conducting a fun party among people at my age is a real work of art.

What I observed was firstly, people are too preoccupied with their day to day lives. Secondly, these days with all that's going on with their lives, having a stimulating conversation is a rarity. Thirdly, having fun for people after marriage comes down to talking about themselves, their current turmoils or their children. And finally, being a good host seems to have become a lost skill.

Thus, I went through the net in search for viable pointers to help along those of us who are at least trying to attain perfection in the art of Partying !!

Arrange food and party favors with thoughtfulness and a open heart.

Keep in mind the number of people and their needs before preparation.

Decorate artistically and serve with a smile.

Welcome each guest personally at the door.

Give each person personal attention.

Introduce people who don't know each other with a short background.

A frowning host makes guests uncomfortable.

Guests do not need to be privy to internal squabbles.

Do not contradict or correct the guest unnecessarily.

Inviting people of different cultures, find a median and stick to it.

Do not over emphasize all the trouble you have gone through.

Don't go into a speech about yourself and your troubles. Keep the conversation light.

Distribute work to guests selectively.

If something goes wrong, don't frown or fret. Explain it to the guests, they all have been there and can understand.

Smile at and try to find a common ground with guests you are meeting for the first time.

Find a stimulating topic for each group of people to get involved in.

Don't push your guests to eat but be vigilant and serve with a smile.

Never let anyone feel left out.

Arrange games to liven up the party, Only if the people involved are the partying kind.

End the evening before they keep glancing at their watches and eyeing the door. It's better they should leave regretfully wishing the night could have continued than with the relief and gratitude of an escaping convict.

And learn from others. In the area of kindness, there is always someone who is more thoughtful, more considerate.

Just as we frequently pick up decorating tips from a friend's event, so too should we pick up hosting tips to make the party a delightful experience !!!
Author: Adisha
•Friday, September 12, 2008
OMG ! I'm laughing out loud. After being told by my husband of the latest Jaya Bachchan / Raj Thackarey Anti - Marathi Issue a few days back, today I made the time to go and read up on the details as reported by the various sources on the net. I started snickering with the first lines and by the end of it was guffawing at the irrationality of the situation.

I just find incredible that people today would rather create a ruckus over such petty issues than Actual problems in Our country like poverty, education, growth. No wonder the world moves forward while we all are left bickering among ourselves. People here are Telegu, Maharashtrians, Gujraatis, Punjabis, Bengalis, Goans etc First and Indians and even Human Beings Much later. And least to say, when I saw the actual video of the alleged comment, a SANE person would be well aware of the fact that she meant No disrespect to anyone. It was just a casual remark thrown off the cuff for a laugh. And Mr. Bachchan and his family apologizing for such a trivial issue, displays the sorry state of our country. Like I've said before, whatever happened to freedom of speech and expression? Instead of curbing such comments, I think it's better to propagate the use of English as a universal language to encourage progress and living in harmony. Above all, demeaning people of that stature that have put Indians on the Global map with their efforts, is down right ridiculous.

Sure, Maharashtra is being crowded by other states' people. Same goes for Bangalore, Delhi and others. Wouldn't it be better to work on globalizing India rather than making each state one dimensional? The source of these problems is more the exponential development of Certain cities, leaving the smaller villages and towns behind. People are just moving in the direction where they find opportunities, progress and amenities. This scenario is replicated in Developing countries as well. What if tomorrow people in United States, Gulf, Australia start throwing out people from other cities? Cmon !! What are they thinking ? What sort of an example are they setting for countries in other worlds? Each one to his own and to hell with the rest.

Unfortunately these people are given support by the Media that irresponsibly provide them with the platform to give the necessary Hype to their campaign. Instead of cutting THESE ignorant protesters to size, they promote the issue till it gets blown out of proportion and to hell with who gets hurt in the process. When will the media realize the failure of their status as reporters when they don't work towards advertising crusades that actually need attention. It's appalling to see the incidents they consider juicy. No wonder news people all over the world have earned a bad name for themselves.

It's this attitude which is bringing down Our country and it's people as a whole and I can only hope that these so called "defenders of culture" soon come to their senses and find more essential and Rational causes for improving the state of their respective provinces to fight for ...
Author: Adisha
•Thursday, September 11, 2008
Once when I was really young, my aunt( mom's sister) taught me that the best way to understand another is to put yourself in their place, keeping in mind all that you know about THEM and then judging their actions. Then things don't seem so surprising. I imbibed that lesson into my circuit and found it extremely useful in being sympathetic to the concerns of another.

But lately, I'm apalled and to a point, demoraled by the lack of empathy people really have for another. They prefer living in their self built cocoons and judging everyone else by the yard stick they use for themselves. When will people learn that being a friend/ relative/ human even involves trying to feel for another. Sure, the days to keep another before yourself have long gone, but is it so hard to give a thought to another's state of mind before hurling words at them? In my life, I keep coming across people who inherently make it difficult for me to be in their presence. The more I find myself adapting to them, the more I realize how diffiult it is to keep a straight face and not scream out of exasperation. Friendship that needs to be worked on at those levels is better not faked at all. Whatever happened to free speech and tolerance of another. On one hand we have those who think they Have to flaunt themselves and their belongings all over the place and at the other end of the spectrum you have those who expect you to live by their rules accomodating Their every need and necessity, sidelining you, your words, your actions and your worth as a person. Everyone desires appreciation, love, understanding and above all empathy. Wonder what makes them feel they are a cut above the rest ? For Lord knows they have what every other person walking on the street has, will or can have. What have they done to earn the respect of mankind or just one other? Selfishness, greed, vanity, condescension, envy, are all masked by fake smiles and empty words. And the moment to try to break free of the bonds of formality, people cringe at the thought of having to show some real feeling or concern. In the end, you end up feeling the fool just for being yourself.

Fine ! Don't aim to achieve greatness or even respect, just once in a while give Some thought to the turmoils and pains of another. People really need to stand back and look at their own lives from an angle other than the centre and take stock of their actions/ words and the resonating effect they have on others. Today, more than ever I remember fondly the few people who've showered me with genuine gestures of kindness and understanding. Those few people with whom I can be myself and not have to be explicit at every turn. I cherish them forever and hope that I meet more like them for empathatic people seem to be a dying breed. Yet, for now I'm glad there are people there making lives easier to live.
Author: Adisha
•Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Read this today :

Share your best smiles for your family, don't save them for your clients, colleagues, friends, strangers on the street. Get your priorities straight. It's those smiles that keep your family together and help the love grow.

Brought me to Google and get the rest of this -

A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile.

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ~Mother Teresa

Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to.

Every day you spend without a smile, is a lost day.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.- Leo F. Buscaglia

A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around
- Carolyn Birmingham
Author: Adisha
•Monday, September 08, 2008
I've been wondering recently about dedications one gives to others. I've come to the conclusion that self confidence is highly supplemented by the faith of another in this world in your talents. Appreciating whatever one stands for plays a major role in boosting one's morale driving them to become a better version of themselves.

That is why, when successful in any kind of achievement we have people contributing it more to the people who gave them total, relentless support in pursuing their dreams than to their talents. Talents, I believe are like plants. They need nurturing, appreciation and faith in their growth as much as a good soil base. Not the nagging, pestering kind of support, mind you. But the subtle, slow, continuous nudges of praise and admiration. Everyone needs to know there's someone out there who believes in them pushing them forward when the chips go down and buoying them further when on an artistic high. Else with the wrong kind of attitude, talent too, like all else in life withers and wilts to nothingness.

I for one know, if not for those cherished few who've always had faith in me and stood beside me urging me on, I wouldn't even be where I am today.