Author: Adisha
•Sunday, June 28, 2009

I love Amusement parks. The melee, the sounds, the cotton candy, the long lines, the colorful rides with the equally colorful people, the soft toys, the stalls, the silly games, the smells, the speed of the rides, looking at the reactions of the others as they go on, go through and come out of each ride, imagining how each ride must actually feel.

I can sense you wondering. The thing is, I don't do roller coasters, I don't do rides.
No Sirree !!! I know my limits and stay on the ground. Basically I'm the theme park goer that people look at wonder why I bother to come. Rideholics !!!! Don't bother denying it !!!! :p

"Cmon !!! Try it once " , you say?

"It's fun after the first time. " you say?

" Fraidy Cat !!! ", you say ?

" The feeling is awesome. Just let go and put your hands in the air and it'll be wonderful here on. ", you say?

" You don't know what you're missing ... ", you say.

" You get scared and scream ?! That's ok. Everyone does. That's the fun part. ", you say. Not like me, they don't. My screams are more like the guy from Scream or Jason is running after me :D

I've heard it all before, from friends, colleges, family.
I've even had perfect strangers come up to me and say, " Parks are Not for reading. Go on a ride ! It's fun. " Stubbornly, I stick to my guns. I wait patiently for those who choose to go on the rides, sometimes alone even, click pictures and enjoy the wondrous feeling second hand, living life vicariously through ... well, these days my hubby. Thankfully he gives detailed descriptions after each one.

Hey !! I Have tried it you know ?? And well ... read on ...

My two WILD experiences of rides include one on the banana boat thingi. We had gone Early in the morning to avoid the queues. I must have been in the 8th and my bro was 5 or 6. We were the only ones on the ride, besides another kid. We went up slowly and as we were upside down, I started screaming, which led to my bro flexing his lungs as well, and our chorus was diligently followed by our unknown companion. The ride was hastily stopped and we were shoved off to the easier rides like bumping cars, and water log rides, to which I have remained loyal, to this day.

The other memory is of my naive brother coaxing me into going with him on the medium thrill roller coaster. I've just started working and he's in his teens, all set to take on Any ride ever created. I hesitated but not wanting to say No to one of the few things he's asked of me, I went along. How bad could it be ?! Right ? Wrong !!

As we clunked along, up to the highest point, my breathe catches and I wonder what the hell I'm doing ?! We reach the top and the ground is too far away for my liking. My tummy does somersaults and I ask my brother if they'll let us get off if I scream loud enough ? He in turn, slightly embarrassed by his older sister, kindly tries to convince me to relax, and how I can probably see my best friend's house from where we are sitting. I knew it was a ploy to distract me, and as much as I appreciate his attempts even today, my heart that time wouldn't quit trying to jump out of my chest. Bravely, I decided to get through the next few seconds bracing myself, closing my eyes, holding the railing tight and wishing for the ride to go faster just so that it'd get over. As we come to the end, I swear to myself, and by all the Gods that I shall never go on another high speed, high positioned, blood gushing ride again.

By now all you thrill seekers are surely smiling and those not so subtle might to laughing out loud. But for me it's just sad! Till recently, I thought it was just me being
Alto phobic. But now I figure that can't be. I don't mind terraces, beautiful vistas from much above sea level, mountain tops, speed boats, fast cars, bikes etc but the mere thought of a glass elevators, those spaced out stairs through which you can see, roller coasters etc have me jumpy. Recently, during a discussion, I realized that it's more of an issue of trust and control for me.I don't trust the people who've created the ride. The height, the speed, the construction,the potential of me being the last straw on the poor ride's back, the enormous possibilities for things to go wrong. It rings within me the fear of my life ending sooner than later, more probably due to a heart attack than any actual falling ...

And no ! Figuring out my problem hasn't helped me One bit. Now water rides. That's more my thing. I'm confident, since I can swim for my life should anything go wrong. :) Well, most of them any way. I howl, even on the water log rides, which much to my chagrin, my husband points out each time is just too loud considering it's not that high or for that matter, scary !!!

All said and done, I still enjoy every moment when we go. The metaphorical highs and lows anyway. As for roller coasters. Life's been giving me a pretty good ride so far. :D

So, what do You love about Theme parks ? I presume you Have gone to one in your life time and have your favorites and freak outs. So spill !!!
Author: Adisha
•Tuesday, June 23, 2009

“The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.”

I saw Valkyrie a few days back and I am still reeling, with a million thoughts running through my head. I Oscillate between awe for courage, intelligence, dedication to the cause and sadness, and wonder at my own potential should I ever be faced with such choices ...

Imagine those men, fighting for what's right, for their country, just so Others wouldn't remember it as Hitler's Germany. So sad that what's right is often marred by hazy beliefs and is squashed by blindness and stupidity.

It's so sad that most of us worry over trivial things, which we could solve with a little effort and intelligence whereas millions in those times lived in fear every moment, with no where to hide, wondering if they'll be the next ones to be taken into the chambers or shot.

It's so stupid that terrorists today are not capable of giving a thought to the perception they are develop for their country.

I wonder if I could EVER be 1/10 as brave as those men who looked down a barrel of a gun. My husband says that when living in such horrid conditions, people are capable of doing things that they themselves could never imagine but then I Know that people can never go beyond their basic nature and thus I find myself speculating about my own.

The amount of courage it takes for men like Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, Bhagat Singh, who recognized the need for men to band together against injustice, at whatever cost to themselves, brings a tear to my eye as I even ponder of the fears they faced with those brave faces.

The horror of it all as people stared down a barrel of a gun, or walked to their death, believing in their convictions, or by no fault of their own. Hatred is such an ugly emotion, bringing out the worst in people, affecting all those around them. Visualize the blindness it creates, that allows one to take the life of another, with no regard for the scars created ??

I'm so, so, so very lucky to be living this comfortable life and the independence to live life My way. Many a times, it's been very hard but it's always easier than it was for those long forgotten, who never had a chance. Which brings me to the thought, that Maybe the rest of us owe it to them, to live our lives to the fullest and best of our potential, doing whatever little we can to make the world a better place Today. Just be as loyal, caring, loving, friendly, helpful, appreciative, jolly, courageous, adventerous, fun loving, as you can be Every day, making sure you do as much justice to yourself as to the ones you care about.

It's the Least we can do as way of tribute, right ??
Author: Adisha
•Sunday, June 21, 2009

Fathers, the unsung heroes
Standing by the sidelines
Guiding those in the game of life
To work hard, toe the line and play hard
Providing for their family without question
Thinking ahead of time for all that is indispensable
Laughter, kind words, silent looks, gruff scoldings
Love untold behind every action and word
With eyes on twinkling stars in our futures
Prouder of our accomplishments than we are
Happy in our joys, worried for our failures
Disappointments portrayed without feelings
With a few, hidden tears on those treasured moments

Fathers, our unsung heroes
We hold you close for all that and more
You've molded your blood, sweat, tears and life lessons
Into a pedestal we look at and try to reach for every moment, every year
You and you alone, are My Hero today and Forever ...

I tried to search for quotes on Fathers online and surprisingly there weren't that many to choose from, which gave birth to the poem above. So this post is dedicated to all fathers, especially mine who've helped their their children grow into amazing human beings.

I love my Dad. Not just because he's mine but for the straightforward person he is : who always stands by what he believes in. I admire him for his planning prowess, his money management, his hard work, for trying to always make a special effort to right things when they go wrong, for always make sure we had everything we would ever need, for his jolly demeanor and specially for trying to be the best father, son, husband, brother, friend a man can be - always going that extra mile . I am what I am because of him and that can be seen in the strengths of my character.

After all this years, I have been blessed with Another father, whose given me the greatest gift of all time. A happy life. And considering the wonderful man my husband is Only a reflection and further proof of the astounding person my Father in law is. It's always a pleasure listening to him talk, to observe his dedication to his work, to notice his love for his sons and his wife that can be seen in his subtle ways and kind words. His joy at a new experiences is wonderful to share. As I listen to my husband regale me with stories about his childhood with his father, I note the profound influence a father has on his son. I truly appreciate the quality of life they have shared together and thus pass on to us.

I wish they can be as proud of their children as we are lucky to have them as our Guiding Lights.

Author: Adisha
•Friday, June 12, 2009
Below is my entry for the " Summer Heat " Contest at Bloggeratti. Check out the below link and let me know what you think :)

Summer Nights

Author: Adisha
•Sunday, June 07, 2009
I always cry when watching the " Titanic ". Always. From the scene where the musicians keep playing, to the captain holding onto the mast of the ship, to the people who try frantically to get out, the fathers letting go of their children and wives, to the guy who shoots himself out of desperation, to the One boat that chooses to go back, to the woman holding the child looking at Kate, to the last scene where Leonardo tells her not to let go, to where they meet again in the afterlife ...

I shudder tho think what goes through one's mind at such times. With their loved ones to think of , prayers to Gods forgotten, pictures of the worst flashing before their eyes, hope of a rescue, desire to help another, or just the need to get out of it all .... some how. My fingers hesitate ...

I was in Kuwait during the Gulf War. Now all that remain are memories, for we lost all we owned then. I was 10. I woke up the morning of August 2nd 1990, to see my mom filling any and every bottle with water, taping the windows with duct tape. On asking what was happening, she told me very matter of fact that " Iraq has invaded Kuwait. "

A week later, we were 4/5 families, with a few bachelors living together in someone else's apartment, waiting for it to pass us by somehow I guess. I was too young to worry, but I can still feel the vibes. One morning, news came that I.K.Gujral was coming into Kuwait with a plane to take back as many Indians as he could.We were told to carry bare essentials, which for us were mom's jewelry and pampers for my bro. We rushed to the airport. As we stood around waiting, rumors spread that the plane was being filled with families who had connections. The person monitoring the number of people going through, told my dad that the plane was in fact full.

I can NEVER forget the look of That man, as my dad started screaming at him, taking hold of his collar and shaking him hard. My father asked the man, how it was that there were men inside when many women and children were still outside. He abused him, threatening that if my mom, me and my bro weren't on the plane, that man would be sorry. People pulled them apart and rallied to my father's logic. I still remember my Dad saying, " If the women and children go through, the men will be atleast relax and it'll be easier to try getting out. " Men, with more political influence than the clip board holder came and discussed the situation with the others revolting, placating them.

In some time, men were seen coming out of the fighter plane. We were ushered in. The plane was soon full of women and children sitting on the floor. I even got I.K.Gujral's autograph.

When we arrived in Delhi, and went back to my Dad's place, people thought we had nothing and thus offered nothing. My mom's relatives poured in with things for us to use, buying us clothes to wear, making sure we were as comfy as we could be in the room on the terrace with the hot tin roof.

A few days after we arrived, we heard of a pilot who was given a suitcase full of jewelry by a family friend to take across customs in India to avoid the taxes ( the suitcase NOT being bare essentials ) . The pilot denied being given any such case at the other end and walked off.

My father came with 11 other men, via Iraq and Jordan. The men unanimously decided to take one suitcase each and foodstuff in their cars. The D day of travel, 10 of the men came with their cars full of things they owned. My father, the man who follows all rules , that he is came with 1 suitcase and a stereo system ( which he ended up giving as bribe at Iraqi border ). Some even asked if they could keep more of Their stuff in our car and Dad refused. My mom says I hardly slept or ate till my dad came back to us.

Such is humanity. People strip down to their core self. And now Flight AF 447. My heart goes out to all those people who go through such situations, coming out the other end , changed with the realizations of the truths of life. It's not only they who get affected but all those whose life they touched in any way. I pray for them all !!

My imagination runs wild as I think of what all those people go through, mind, body and soul. All those who end up being in the wrong place at the wrong time, through no fault of their own. I never know whether it's heart breaking when you picture the horrors or heartening when you hear of sacrifices made and risks one takes in such situations, for people they care about or strangers even. It's occurrences like Titanic, Katrina, Tsunami, freak accidents that separate the heroes, from the villains, the cowards, the just there, or watching people. But as in the end of any ordeal, all that are left behind are the " Survivors" . This set of people are destined to relive those moments and pass on their versions of the incident.

As if Natural calamities weren't enough to wreck havoc on humanity, we have Wars and Terrorism. People can be so Stupid !!
Author: Adisha
•Thursday, June 04, 2009
“A compliment is verbal sunshine” - Robert Orben

Isn't it sweet ? The look on someone's face when you say something nice about them. It could be anything and to anyone yet without fail, it's bring forth delight to the listener. Of course reactions may differ depending on the way the compliment is paid but it always becomes a cherished memory !!

When I was younger, much younger, I'd read one of those books about the things one should try doing every day and there was it - " Compliment 3 people every day ! ". It stuck with me and made sense. I knew even then though, it would be difficult finding genuinely nice things to say each day. ;) And since I am not one to embellish, I just did it whenever I got the opportunity. I sprinkle them about whenever I feel praise is deserved and sit back and relish the resulting blushes, negations, acceptance speeches, elaborations, the smiles, the giggles, the pride, basically all the looks, explanations that say the comment meant a lot ! You could even say it's kind of selfish even, for it gives Me equal if not more pleasure.

This story is such an example. Some though Might consider it proof of me being a lil weird!!

I was in college, commuting from Andheri to Nerul in the Local train and was way too sleepy for my own good. Trying to keep alert I looked around and saw this astoundingly elegant lady reading a book. I observed the drape of her sari, the way she moved, the way she held her book and wondered if I could be as graceful when I grew older.

Thus observing my surroundings I fell asleep. A while later, I jerked at a touch and the same lady informed me that the train would be taking a different stop and I'll need to change trains. We got off and when I got my bearings, thanked her for her kindness. She smiled and 10 mins later we caught the next train. As I got up to stand at the door to get off at my stop, I see that the same lady is already standing there. I stand for a minute of so, smile at her earning a smile back. Then I very boldly go, " Excuse me. May I say something ? "

Needless to say, she's surprised. Not horrified surprised, mind u but a pleasant surprised. She nods affirmative.

I smile and say, " You are really very elegant. "

She looks at me, lets out a huge puff of a sigh and beams like an angel. Laughing out loud, she says. " You will not believe the horrid day I've had. I so needed something like that. You really made my day !!! Thank You. "

We both laugh at this, our stop comes and I never see her again. But I feel really happy that I brought a much needed moment of happiness to someone. I know that it's exchanges like these that get locked into our treasure chest only to be taken out and revisited in moments blue.

It's so nice to be happy for someone else. To share in their joy, appreciate their home, admire their talent, say nice things about something they've achieved, or a job well done, comment on how beautiful they look and are !!! I wonder why then it's so rare to find people who can be happy for you, for it's such a joyous feeling. A few genuine, heart felt words and you " make someone's day ".

I've had many such moments that will be forever etched in my mind. The recent being at my hubby's party, my house guests complimenting my home and the food I cooked. My hubby admiring my surprising skills. Another touching one was my grandfather saying I dance like Madhuri :)) Oh ! I could go on of course but of late it's smashing when someone reads my blog and appreciates the post or the intention behind it. Specially since I have it in writing. :)) I only hope the comments that I leave on your blogs, let you know how special You are !!

So now, tell Me about a compliment that has meant a lot to you or that you gave that was cherished by another.

Pay it forward, make Someone's day, for it's a gift that truly keeps on giving. Let yourself bathe in the sunshine of radiance of an honest compliment !!! A compliment a day, keeps the blues away !! A few words could change someone's life ...

Oh !!! By the way, just so YOU know -


ps - The first comments by Archana and Crizwere about compliments that don't really mean anything or leave you wondering about your own worth. I didn't even want to go there Coz words that are superfluous go in one ear and out the next. It's instinctive. Over time we all can make out whose genuine and who isn't. From that knowledge we Know when it is that someone's comments should be taken to heart and whose we shouldn't even think about, good Or bad !!! There'll always be those who'll say something or even when they don't say a word, their eyes belie their true feelings one way or another.

Like I said, it's the way you say something along with the words that matter. Genuinity definitely leaves a mark. And then you surely know that You ARE worth every alphabet in the sentence that's spoken for you. :D If no where else, they come here. I'll let you know bluntly ;) :))

Keep smiling !!

Author: Adisha
•Monday, June 01, 2009
OK !! This is probably one of the more controversial topics I may talk about, and it May hit a few nerves so I'm taking the precaution of saying that all the below is from my experiences and all that I've seen and heard from people around me, people I've loved and cared for deeply and seen in their worst times. So if anyone does not agree, sure put your point forward but it's just something I personally believe in. No offense meant and if it helps any of you out there .... they are words from my heart to yours ....

I read the book " He's Just Not That Into You " yesterday. The tag line being " It's the no excuses rule to understanding guys " and that's exactly what it is. It's a light read, which is so to the point that it's hilarious in it's common sense. I recommend it to all the girls out there. Do yourselves a favor and read it. I wish I had back when !!! Yes, it's girly girly but guys too could benefit from it, for Many gals are prone to the same kind of obnoxious behavior that some times guys alone are blamed for. They say ( I don't know who ?? ) that men are from mars and women are from Venus but we all co inhabit the same planet and well, lets face it, with women's equality on an exponential rise we see men as confused as women and when single, everyone could use some help deciphering their counterparts.

Anyway, that's not what I want to talk about today. When reading the book it occurred to me how stupid, yes Stupid all of us get in the name of LOVE !! How we are all willing to put up with the weirdest things mixing up fact with fiction? Is it hormones ?? I don't know . Maybe it's the movies or romance novels. Maybe it's the VERSION of what we want our love or the object of our desire to be. Maybe it's that our parents / society/ media grill into us to do Everything for the person you love. Maybe people DO go blind in those moments. Maybe we just want to be loved so bad that we just keep stumbling in love, accepting whatever kind someone gives us. Harsh ?! Yeah, well ... but it's true more often than not.

We make excuses for those we love. Sure, there are times when compromise and understanding are Very essential to the success of any relation, but many other times we let go things that are Big NO NOs, just becoz we have convinced ourselves to overlook the FACTS and accept the hazy realities presented to us or the lies we tell ourselves. It's important to know to differentiate. Lies and Actions that if we see happening to another seem absurd and yet we let it All happen to us becoz we think Our love is Different, Unique. Well, the truth is - it's not !!! And another truth is, NOT everything is OK in the name of Love.

  • It's not ok to for someone to say things they have no intention of doing like call or bring a gift or help out or give time.
  • It's not ok for someone to keep another waiting time and again with no regard for another.
  • It's not ok to be indifferent or insulting to people the one you love cares about.
  • It's not ok to consistently make fun of, condescend, taunt, be rude to or disrespectful of someone you love. (Abuse is not just physical you know and this kind of behavior also leaves the worst scars)
  • It's not ok to be in touch with an exes while you are in a relationship. Sure, that's subjective but lets face it, what would one be proving by that and Most people are just not comfortable being in the presence of or compared to or jealous of someone from the past.
  • It's not ok to be very possessive, not giving each other enough space to grow.
  • It's not ok to cheat with a married person or a person in a relationship.
  • It's not ok to brush off what is important to or the feelings or the talents of those you cherish.
  • It's not ok to be in a long distance relationship and not call or keep in touch.
  • It's not ok to give another importance while ignoring the person you are supposedly with.
  • It's not ok for a guy to even raise a hand on a girl threateningly , neither a girl should ever slap the man in her life .
  • It's not ok to flirt with other people when you know you hold the keys to someone else's heart.
  • It's not ok to lead someone who believes in you onto paths from which it's really hard to return.
  • It's not ok to mooch off the person who cares about you, only coz you are too shameless and cheap.
  • It's not ok to get close to a married man or woman, no matter how horrid they claim their own spouses are. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
  • It's not ok to not talk to each other for days, putting your ego before your relationship.
  • It's not ok to be in a relationship, once the trust isn't there just becoz you're too scared to be alone.

None of it is OK.

Oh yes !!! We give ourselves and those around us a million reasons. He's too busy. She's pre-occupied. They are just friends. He didn't mean to say that. She cares from inside but just can't show it. We are too different, and that's why we fight. The yelling is a part of our passion. It's not the right time for us to commit to each other. It's just fear of commitment, that's OK right ? It won't be like this forever, they'll change. She's like this only with others, she'll be different with me. Our love is not like the others, it's unique. He's scared of his parents and will talk to them when the time is right. She's concentrating on her career right now. He understands me like no one else can, I don't care what else he does. I'll sacrifice everything if she asks me to. I can't imagine living without him. He's just stingy about money, that's ok coz he's saving for Our future. That happened to you, it would Never happen to me. I love him too much to let go. If I do something for him, doesn't mean he has to love me back the same way . He doesn't say it or show it , but i know he appreciates me. I know deep inside he loves me becoz usually he's nice to me, it's only sometimes that he's so rude. Look at how much she's helped me, I can't forget all that and leave her even after all the other things she's done. Oh!! His ex was a b*tch, which is why he's become like this - hurtful and scared of commitment. And the excuses go on and on .

Fact is No excuses can justify the Not Ok parts. Yeah, people may have their reasons but it's just not right. Most of the times, the above cases have Nothing to do with love. It's just one person putting all their belief into a " Fiction " that the other person loves them in their ways as well. It's just really, truly sad !!! My heart breaks when I hear any of the above and more, for I know that tomorrow, Most probably someone is going to get hurt. Bad !!!! And that turns into a vicious circle as people lash out or act out or hide within themselves, so as to ease the colosssal pain.

Yes, Love is magical, a mystery, miraculous, romantic and all that jazz !! Above all love is Simple.

I've said it all before, but I'll say it again.
  • Love is kind, gentle, giving. Love makes every thing seem easy for you are always there for each other.
  • Love makes you feel good about yourself and supports you in everything that you do. Love gives you the strength to be your self with the one your love.
  • Love helps your grow to new heights becoming a better person that you were.
  • Love is laughter, playfulness and fun !
  • Love lets you know that you are special and cherished and cared for.
  • Love works out all problems big or small, with the conviction that they can be solved.
  • Love doesn't have measurements of who did what but it lets you know that you are appreciated for what you are.
  • Love is when you trust someone enough to know they'll stand by your through everything.
  • Love doesn't ask you to change. It might expect some adjustments, but Never to change your personality.
  • Love is mutual respect.
  • Love is what makes you dial a number, no matter how busy you are, just so that you can hear their voice or tell them you miss them or to let them know you'll call later.
  • Love is what helps you stand by your convictions.
  • Love is what breaks your heart when you see a tear in another's eye.
  • Love is what has you jumping through hoops to see a smile of their face.
  • Love is when you want someone else to be happy, even if it means you not being in their life.

Love doesn't cause pain and suffering. It's only as complicated as you make it. If you love someone truly , you'll try your utmost to be with them. If for some reason you can't, there's no shame in moving on and letting them do the same. Sure there's hurt and pain and tears but there's always the hope for a better tomorrow. It's truly blessed , to love with your whole being the person you commit the rest of your life to, whose returning the promise to you accepting you as is. You're heart is big enough. It can keep giving should you choose to. And fact of the matter is , if you talk to Anyone openly and frequently, soon there's a vibe between you that will surely grow into understanding. When you spend all your days and nights with someone how can you Not love them? Cherishing the past is fine, in fact it's important for it makes you what you are today, but holding onto it leaving no place for the present is just such a waste !!!!

All what I've said above is not just true of a guy and girl but also of any other relation. Why is it that we don't guide the people we care about so much with a doze of reality. It's admirable to support the ones you care about but we shouldn't be scared to nudge them in the right direction when we know what's happening is wrong. After all, what kind of love lets someone walk on the path of self destruction ?? It might not help immediately or maybe make you out to be a bad guy ( That's usually only if you're ruthlessly blunt ), but Maybe : just maybe your might make a difference. In the end, when all things are said and done, the intention will be appreciated.

As I say all of this I know it's all pointless. Only when realization dawns on the person in a given situation, does one decide that enough is enough. It doesn't matter till then who tells you what convincing you to do the right thing. When you decide to love yourself, is when all else falls into place. How else can you love another when you do not know to love yourself ?? It's surprisingly easy easy to lose yourself when you love another deeply and people don't usually know that it's much easier to find someone else to love that to repair your crushed self esteem . Believe me ! I've seen Most Versions of Love and what I've seen is to for any problem you need to believe with all your heart that it can be solved but more important is to know when to let go !!!!

So just stop giving excuses to yourself more than anyone else. Try, for once seeing things for what they are. Do yourself a favor and believe in yourself . Know that you are special and unique and there's someone out there who actually deserves you, who'll appreciate everything about you. Well, maybe not everything...but be sure they'll support you in your shortcomings, help your overcome them and gladly adjust with the rest. Don't worry about what others will say, they don't control the quality of your life, you do !!! Know what you want from your partner and be careful of what you're willing to give up. Believe that you can to be loved, just the way you want it and cherished with all that someone can give you.

Remember : You deserve to be happy !!!