•Thursday, June 04, 2009
“A compliment is verbal sunshine” - Robert Orben
Isn't it sweet ? The look on someone's face when you say something nice about them. It could be anything and to anyone yet without fail, it's bring forth delight to the listener. Of course reactions may differ depending on the way the compliment is paid but it always becomes a cherished memory !!
When I was younger, much younger, I'd read one of those books about the things one should try doing every day and there was it - " Compliment 3 people every day ! ". It stuck with me and made sense. I knew even then though, it would be difficult finding genuinely nice things to say each day. ;) And since I am not one to embellish, I just did it whenever I got the opportunity. I sprinkle them about whenever I feel praise is deserved and sit back and relish the resulting blushes, negations, acceptance speeches, elaborations, the smiles, the giggles, the pride, basically all the looks, explanations that say the comment meant a lot ! You could even say it's kind of selfish even, for it gives Me equal if not more pleasure.
This story is such an example. Some though Might consider it proof of me being a lil weird!!
I was in college, commuting from Andheri to Nerul in the Local train and was way too sleepy for my own good. Trying to keep alert I looked around and saw this astoundingly elegant lady reading a book. I observed the drape of her sari, the way she moved, the way she held her book and wondered if I could be as graceful when I grew older.
Thus observing my surroundings I fell asleep. A while later, I jerked at a touch and the same lady informed me that the train would be taking a different stop and I'll need to change trains. We got off and when I got my bearings, thanked her for her kindness. She smiled and 10 mins later we caught the next train. As I got up to stand at the door to get off at my stop, I see that the same lady is already standing there. I stand for a minute of so, smile at her earning a smile back. Then I very boldly go, " Excuse me. May I say something ? "
Needless to say, she's surprised. Not horrified surprised, mind u but a pleasant surprised. She nods affirmative.
I smile and say, " You are really very elegant. "
She looks at me, lets out a huge puff of a sigh and beams like an angel. Laughing out loud, she says. " You will not believe the horrid day I've had. I so needed something like that. You really made my day !!! Thank You. "
We both laugh at this, our stop comes and I never see her again. But I feel really happy that I brought a much needed moment of happiness to someone. I know that it's exchanges like these that get locked into our treasure chest only to be taken out and revisited in moments blue.
It's so nice to be happy for someone else. To share in their joy, appreciate their home, admire their talent, say nice things about something they've achieved, or a job well done, comment on how beautiful they look and are !!! I wonder why then it's so rare to find people who can be happy for you, for it's such a joyous feeling. A few genuine, heart felt words and you " make someone's day ".
I've had many such moments that will be forever etched in my mind. The recent being at my hubby's party, my house guests complimenting my home and the food I cooked. My hubby admiring my surprising skills. Another touching one was my grandfather saying I dance like Madhuri :)) Oh ! I could go on of course but of late it's smashing when someone reads my blog and appreciates the post or the intention behind it. Specially since I have it in writing. :)) I only hope the comments that I leave on your blogs, let you know how special You are !!
So now, tell Me about a compliment that has meant a lot to you or that you gave that was cherished by another.
Pay it forward, make Someone's day, for it's a gift that truly keeps on giving. Let yourself bathe in the sunshine of radiance of an honest compliment !!! A compliment a day, keeps the blues away !! A few words could change someone's life ...
ps - The first comments by Archana and Crizwere about compliments that don't really mean anything or leave you wondering about your own worth. I didn't even want to go there Coz words that are superfluous go in one ear and out the next. It's instinctive. Over time we all can make out whose genuine and who isn't. From that knowledge we Know when it is that someone's comments should be taken to heart and whose we shouldn't even think about, good Or bad !!! There'll always be those who'll say something or even when they don't say a word, their eyes belie their true feelings one way or another.
Like I said, it's the way you say something along with the words that matter. Genuinity definitely leaves a mark. And then you surely know that You ARE worth every alphabet in the sentence that's spoken for you. :D If no where else, they come here. I'll let you know bluntly ;) :))
Keep smiling !!
When I was younger, much younger, I'd read one of those books about the things one should try doing every day and there was it - " Compliment 3 people every day ! ". It stuck with me and made sense. I knew even then though, it would be difficult finding genuinely nice things to say each day. ;) And since I am not one to embellish, I just did it whenever I got the opportunity. I sprinkle them about whenever I feel praise is deserved and sit back and relish the resulting blushes, negations, acceptance speeches, elaborations, the smiles, the giggles, the pride, basically all the looks, explanations that say the comment meant a lot ! You could even say it's kind of selfish even, for it gives Me equal if not more pleasure.
This story is such an example. Some though Might consider it proof of me being a lil weird!!
I was in college, commuting from Andheri to Nerul in the Local train and was way too sleepy for my own good. Trying to keep alert I looked around and saw this astoundingly elegant lady reading a book. I observed the drape of her sari, the way she moved, the way she held her book and wondered if I could be as graceful when I grew older.
Thus observing my surroundings I fell asleep. A while later, I jerked at a touch and the same lady informed me that the train would be taking a different stop and I'll need to change trains. We got off and when I got my bearings, thanked her for her kindness. She smiled and 10 mins later we caught the next train. As I got up to stand at the door to get off at my stop, I see that the same lady is already standing there. I stand for a minute of so, smile at her earning a smile back. Then I very boldly go, " Excuse me. May I say something ? "
Needless to say, she's surprised. Not horrified surprised, mind u but a pleasant surprised. She nods affirmative.
I smile and say, " You are really very elegant. "
She looks at me, lets out a huge puff of a sigh and beams like an angel. Laughing out loud, she says. " You will not believe the horrid day I've had. I so needed something like that. You really made my day !!! Thank You. "
We both laugh at this, our stop comes and I never see her again. But I feel really happy that I brought a much needed moment of happiness to someone. I know that it's exchanges like these that get locked into our treasure chest only to be taken out and revisited in moments blue.
It's so nice to be happy for someone else. To share in their joy, appreciate their home, admire their talent, say nice things about something they've achieved, or a job well done, comment on how beautiful they look and are !!! I wonder why then it's so rare to find people who can be happy for you, for it's such a joyous feeling. A few genuine, heart felt words and you " make someone's day ".
I've had many such moments that will be forever etched in my mind. The recent being at my hubby's party, my house guests complimenting my home and the food I cooked. My hubby admiring my surprising skills. Another touching one was my grandfather saying I dance like Madhuri :)) Oh ! I could go on of course but of late it's smashing when someone reads my blog and appreciates the post or the intention behind it. Specially since I have it in writing. :)) I only hope the comments that I leave on your blogs, let you know how special You are !!
So now, tell Me about a compliment that has meant a lot to you or that you gave that was cherished by another.
Pay it forward, make Someone's day, for it's a gift that truly keeps on giving. Let yourself bathe in the sunshine of radiance of an honest compliment !!! A compliment a day, keeps the blues away !! A few words could change someone's life ...
Oh !!! By the way, just so YOU know -
Becoz
ps - The first comments by Archana and Crizwere about compliments that don't really mean anything or leave you wondering about your own worth. I didn't even want to go there Coz words that are superfluous go in one ear and out the next. It's instinctive. Over time we all can make out whose genuine and who isn't. From that knowledge we Know when it is that someone's comments should be taken to heart and whose we shouldn't even think about, good Or bad !!! There'll always be those who'll say something or even when they don't say a word, their eyes belie their true feelings one way or another.
Like I said, it's the way you say something along with the words that matter. Genuinity definitely leaves a mark. And then you surely know that You ARE worth every alphabet in the sentence that's spoken for you. :D If no where else, they come here. I'll let you know bluntly ;) :))
Keep smiling !!
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32 Spin Offs:
You are such a feel good person & that's awesome. :) Positive thinkers are always spreading sunshine into everyone's lives. Hehe, I totally follow the motto of giving someone a due compliment when needed. I've told strangers things too, because sometimes you just need too. I know I feel great when someone gives me a compliment (one that has meaning to it), and so if and when I feel the need to do so, I do. And as you said, the look on the receivers end is priceless!
But like you rightly pointed out, genuine compliments are hard to come by. There are lotsa empty & fake compliments we can all give each other, but the ones that are really well thought out and have meaning are the ones that stick. :)
yes we always love to hear good things about us .. dont we?
but most of the time, are we really worthy to win praises and compliments?
sometimes when someone praises me, i am happy .. but still somewhere deep within my heart, my minds reminds me that i am not really worthy to win that praise cos i know who i am!!
but on generalistic terms , a few good words are always good....
@ Archana - Thanks sweets :) But believe me, I'm hardly positive, but it's a work in progress. I try doing my little bit here and there for myself and those around .. :)
You are right, about the empty and fake compliments - but you know what with fake ones you can just tell that they're not from the heart and go in one ear and out the other. So lets not even go there...
@ Chriz - Like I told Archana, the fake ones you just know so why bother even talking about them....
Over time we Know the people whose words really matter and who say things just for the heck of saying something .... And please don't think less of yourself. Even if we just consider probability, a percentage of what's said about you is TOTALLY becoz you're worth it !!!!
I'm just talking about the feel good factor for all around :D
hey adisha i haven't read ur post till now, in hurry as am at work.will definitely read it at home.In this comment i just wanted to congratulate you on ur first award.Keep it up!!!
Wonderful thoughts! You've really hit the nail on the head.. about paying the right sort of comments..
To overdo it, makes it ring with a false flattery, and the person knows you're being fake! But to say a word of encouragement, or laud someone when it is really deserved.... creates quite a positive effect on the person's psyche, apart from the fact, of course, that it makes you feel nice too, as you pointed out!
First time I've been to ur blog, its awesome! You've got some excellent posts here..very insightful, indeed...
Such a feel good post Adisha :D I feel exactly the same way about compliments. I read that too somewhere, and I compliment people more out of the feeling, that I shouldn't regret later, that I wish I had said that. Such a sweet post, and by the way you've a heart of gold for being so warm and nice :)
Ah ! Wonderful goody goody feel-good post, one that I havent read in a long long time !!
I have a terrible memory...so dnt quite remember the best compliment I have given or recieved. Though I compliement ppl very often, but ofcourse with unecessary "embellishments" and when they are well deserved.
Very cute post !
And hey, thnx for droppin by.
:)
Hi Adi
my email id is nups.ab@gmail.com would love to exchange mails with u.. i feel we connect :) lovely post.. we humans forget to be nice to each other... i m nt feeling good today..infact dono why tears r jus filling my eyes...i knw why but u knw at times u jus cant help it...... the compliment therapy could do the trick for me nw.. but u knw the dearth of good souls who would do that ... so i'l make do with ur lovely post :)
believe me I am feeling so good after reading this post.Ya its necessary that u compliment every good thing that you find in someone or come across.If not anything else it just makes their day.And this is why we are on earth, right? -be happy and make others happy :)
By the way, you write just so well that you'd obviously be flooded with wonderful comments.As wonderful as you write.
ohh..i smiled when i read dat lil incident..d moment when u said to the lady..dat u r really elegant...n her answer...awwee..she must have felt so gud...
lovely post...felt gud readin it...
dis blog of urs is really so nice....will read more soon....with ur experiences n reality n something new to learn each time...good yaar...
about compliments...yup...we all get to know when it real n when its fake n said just like dat...so we know which ones to treasure n which ones to let go...
morning three thirty over here and i am not feeling sleepy. and now u ve given me a post to think about!
yeah i know. compliment just lifts you and sometimes i guess even a false compliment is better than none.
it just works.
but i find it hard to give compliments. i dont know why. do give them but not as often as i would like to.
and yeah. i complement strangers. i love doing it. but cant complement my friends. dont know why. i just think tht it is unnecessary although i know it myt make a difference.the weird thing is tht sometimes i tell it to my friend tht a particular person is jus passing a compliment fr th sake f it, when they do not realise it. evil me!
my new semestr is gona strt frm monday and i shall try to fine tune myself. feel horrble sometimes fr not appreciating stuff tht i ought to but then its all short memory.
wow!!tht was such a sweet post!!and i am glad tht there r ppl like u who dont mind in giving compliments to others. :)
I knw a lot of ppl who dont like to give compliments event o the deserving ones...i wonder why do they hesitate, is it jealousy or envy or plain human nature? I dunno.
But i love giving compliments as much as i enjoy recieving them. :P
Wow! A heartily positive post! In fact, I love giving heartfelt compliments to complete strangers! They might think I am weird, but chances are that I DEFINITELY made their day. Fake or not, a good word to someone surely goes a long way. It NEVER harms to be nice...
Great post, Adisha! :) It's 3:00 AM and it was a great read!
Yup I agree compliments go a long way.
You are doing a good job.
Genuine compliments does makes one feel great when one looks back at it!!
Hi, Adisha.
You are right when you say one can always tell the genuine compliments from fake, sugarcoated ones. They just show.
Thanks for visiting me. I am glad you did.
*cheers*
Good!
I totally understand where you are coming from... A few words make you feel so good inside, irrespective of which end you are on, the giving end or the receiving one!
And at times, one of the two parties involved may forget the few words, but they stay ingrained in the mind of the other!
@ darklordreturns - Thanks for visiting. Thank you for your compliments :)
@ Stillness Speaks - Was feeling pretty good when I wrote it dear :) Thank you for your kind words ... < Blushing >
@ Cindreslla - Heehhe, thanks sweti !! Do keep visiting :D
@ Nups - I don't know why it is that some people just don't know HOw to be happy for another ...
@ Tasneem N - I'm glad you felt nice dear ... and for those sweet words , thankyou ..... :D
@ Priyanka - Yeah, she seemed pretty happy, more than anything I remember I got the vibe that she Really needed it That day ... some how ... or maybe my memory is playing tricks on me ...
Thank you for your lovely comments on my blog. Keep coming by ...
@ arunrafi - you are Such a bad boy - sleeping late, thinking too much :p, telling yoru friends unnecessary truths, not saying nice things to them only :p ...
It's funny how it's easier sometimes to say things out to strangers than friends... I had a group of friends in college and even though, I know them since 10+ years now and they will always be special to me , I don't remember them saying a single nice thing about me. And it hurts even now some how ...
So, I'd suggest just for the sake of being nice, if you'd like to change a bit, passing a nice word here or there... for trust me, for those closest to you, it's all not short memory :)
@ Ria - Thanks dear. Yeah, most probably it's envy or jealously or just plain being inconsiderate of their feelings.
@ Kokonad - Thank you so much ... Though, I don't agree with fake compliments being passed around, just coz I Know it's something I wouldn't really Want from anyone. Better to keep mum in those cases. If you can't say anything nice, better keep quite.
Great that I gave you somethign to do that late in the night :))
@ Survivor - Thanks.
@ Talking to my soul - Exactly.... hope to see mroe of you here :)
@ Sagar - Very beautifully put , Sagar. Thanks for coming by.
Hey Adisha!! U r such a sweet girl I tell u!!! seriously... u can expect blunt comments form u n i just speak what i think... i c u as a guide for me.. really... perhaps if i had an elder sis of my own, she would have been liek u only, atleast thats what i would have wished for!
ur blogs makes my day! i simply love ur work n they r far more than what i comment... what u did that day by commenting to that lady wil b sumthing she still wouldn't have forgotten... its rare to receive heartfelt compliments for anybody n it means a lot for anybody!
keep ur good work girl! am ur religious follower :D
I really like this post coz I sort of believe in it myself. It's amazing to be able to give ,especially to a complete stranger and walk away, expecting nothing in return and knowing you did good.
Adisha, you did good, you do good, please always do so too.
Here's wishing you lots of happiness.
Cheers!
I'm surprised to read your story
a)Connected two places for me:
I stay in Andheri, did some schooling in Nerul (had moved on to delhi later)
b)Something similar happened to me-
It was after my dance class when i boarded the train at bandra. I was listening to music, when this guy complimented that i was wearing a nice shirt :P
A lovely post there adisha, you express your feelings pretty well
keep going