Author: Adisha
•Thursday, February 26, 2009
This is a Forward I'd read long back and found really interesting and useful as tips. Hope it helps some of you ( male / female ) out there as well !!!

Tell tale signs your relationship may not be perfect -

1)if a man wants you , nothing can keep him away. if he doesn't want you , nothing can make him stay.

2)stop trying to change yourself for u relationship that's not meant to be.

3)if he keeps changing his mind about the relationship or is forever postponing commitment, take that a big sign that he is unstable. do you really want to be with a man like that ?

4)don't stay because you think "it will get better ". you'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying having wasted all that time on someone who didn't deserve it.

5)the only person you can control in a relationship is you .don't fall for the "I'm confused role "remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him move on).

6)demand respect and if he can't give it .he can"have you "!

7)remember ,actions speak louder than words. but keep in time words are as important, at times.

8)never let a man define who u are.

9)A man will onl treat you the way u Allow him to treat you .

10)you should not be the one doing all the bending…………compromise is a two way street.

11)when it feels like it's time to let go ... let go. knowing you've tried you're hardest.

12)a real healthy relation ship requires two people one person can end it but it takes two
to make it work.
Author: Adisha
•Thursday, February 19, 2009
All God's angels come to us disguised. ~James Russell Lowell

Isn't this true? I do believe we each have our guardian angels who help us along the way but what about those angel like: people who reach out in our dark moments, pulling us out into the light.
After my Valentines piece, I came to the realization that I need to write even about those others out there who have made an ever lasting impression on me even in the One meeting that I've had with them .

Today's memory is about an Autorickshaw Driver in Bhopal. I was 15 I think, and used to drive my Luna ( two wheeler ) to my Computer classes. On the way back one day, just as I tried to start my Luna by running with it, it kicked back making a summersault and I fell as a result. I woke up in great distress, with tears in my eyes ( Hey ! I was hurting ) only to realize that the Luna's handle had kind of twisted and it just wouldn't start.

This was in times before cell phones, thus I had no way to contact home and was troubled thinking how in the world would I get home. So slowly, but surely I did the only thing I could think of and started walking home with the twisted Luna by my side. This was around 6 pm and it had started getting dark. Walking along a stretch of long deserted road, with a few sad shops on the side, my tears wouldn't stop as I heard men offering their help in various rude ways. After around 20-25 minutes of my relentless trudge, I heard an auto coming from behind. Seeing me, the driver very kindly and cautiously offered his help. He got out, put the Luna in the back of his Auto and had me sit in the front. As we got closer to home, I was aghast as the Luna handle scraped another man who was on his bicycle, who was all a Big drama queen, ready to create More trouble than he was in. The driver got out , told him to relax, had me give him what little money ( Rs. 20 ) I had in my book to him for his medication and had him on his way .

When we reached home, I ran up the stairs to tell my mother about what had happened, so that she could come down and pay the man. She came down, and had him put the Luna behind our car, thanking him profusely for helping me. When she offered him money, he refused, saying if it were his daughter in need, he hoped there was someone who'd have helped her as well.

6-7 months down, as I walked in the drizzle talking to a friend, I saw the autorickshaw guy again as he drove out of his way into our complex only to ask me how I was doing and if my parents were fine. After a minute of small talk, he drove off, to dissappear forever.

I don't remember his face. I don't remember his name. But I do remember often, the kindness he showed a girl stranded, expecting nothing in return.
Author: Adisha
•Sunday, February 15, 2009

Hey All !!! For those few who I've befriended I hope your Valentines was special , with candy like sweet memories and love that's lovlier than roses. No, we don't need One day to express our love but hey !! in the hob nob of every day routines, we can sure use an occasion to celebrate and pamper ourselves !!!

This Valentines post is dedicated to all those people who've made my life special!! For what is Valentines, but a reason to express gratitude for the Love by which you are showered ...

My Blog Visitors - Those people who've encouraged me by visiting my blog often and letting me know they like what they see :) . You have no idea what your appreciation means to me. I truly hope to make some lasting friendships out here, leaving a few impressions and learning a lot more than I came with.

For you all - A Happy Valentines I wish !!!

My Friends - Those special few, as I say time and again who've made life worth while. The ones I grew up with, literally and figuratively. The one who stood by me in my college days, always taking care of me, appreciating everything about me. The one whose known me since years together and is my secret diary, my tell all and yet stands by me caring for me. The one who gave me a new lease on life when chips were down, making me laugh, being there for me all the way. The one who changed my life totally by making sure I stood tall, giving me my confidence back and making sure I had a smile to on my face. The one who fights with me, in concern trying to look out for me. The one with whom I really connect with and enjoy talking my heart to. The one who held me when I cried and listened to all my rantings and ravings. The one whose advice I cherish and admire for all the hard work they put into any endevour. The one who brings loyalty to my life and a belief that Faith solves all. The one who fights me tooth and nail, rants with me, laughs with me, and still spurns me on. The one who teases me, laughs at me, bears my scoldings / teasing jovially and makes any day a good day by just being a part of it. The ones who are sprinkled across my life like blue moons, shining rarely but brightly. The ones with whom I learnt life's toughest lessons and can often, reminisce about fond moments gone by, which still bring smiles all around. You know who you are !!! :D

For you all - A Happy Valentines I wish !!! For my the love of your timeless Friendship I'm eternally grateful ...

My Family - My parents. Who've given me birth, brought me up with care, never leaving me in want of anything, always putting my needs before their own. Who've given me three times of what I deserve and yet, dream for me an even better future. Who've taught me life's important lessons, setting before me the ideals by which I today live. My mummyji and daddyji, who've showered me with kind love. Who've accepted me and care about me, as their own. Who've taught me many a new ways of life, with their stories, optimism and joviality. My brother, who I love more than life itself. Who brings a smile to my face, even when he's doing nothing but sleeping. :)) My devarji, whose a pleasure to have around, excuding warmth and care in his little ways. My relatives, the few I truly admire, always appreciating all that they've done for me and my family.

For you all - A Happy Valentines I wish !!! For your unconditional caring ways I bow my head.

My Husband - My compass. My friend. My lover. My soul mate. The one who gave me the gift of true happiness, bringing true all the dreams I had of my Prince Charming. The one whose taught me the true meaning of love, with his patience, caring, antics, stubborness, understanding !! I cherish every moment I spend with him in which he bears with my eccentricities, praying that all the years we have together are as blessed as the ones gone by.

For you - A Happy Valentines I wish !!! For the Gift of You, all my love I pledge ... I Love You !

Author: Adisha
•Monday, February 09, 2009
I came to an enlightment today. It's a fact and a heartless art that one needs to perfect though. Once acceptance for the said concept is achieved, I think I too May just be on my way to achieving Nirvana.

You know those people, who don't really care about you and yet when they meet you act like no one else in the world cares about you more. They are found sprinkled all across your life : people you grew up with, classmates, relatives, acquaintances, collegues or friends who shower you with " so called " concern once a month when they remember you or when you visit with them. They are right there to party or when they need something and then dissappear . And after meeting them, your blood boils wondering how can anyone be so mannerless or selfish or dense ?! Are they like that just with you or they never knew the meaning of the word " caring " and " respect". Those who you can't cut out from your lives and yet can't really stand being with. These are the usually the kinds looking out for Number 1, that are oblivious to the existence of others other than themselves, those that matter to Them and those who can be of Certain advantage to their future.

These are the kinds who make you wonder if there's something wrong with you. For every time you meet them, you try putting on a new kind of armor to adapt to their eccentricities and once they've left you find yourself hurt in places you didn't know existed. They make you question your own rationality and emotions and the essence of all that you've grown up with. They drain you of a Little bit of self respect each time you meet them and make you doubt the value of your existence.

For These people, I've come up with the On/Off switch. The one that makes us Just like them , for the time period during which we Are in their presence. When you see them, you switch on the charm meter oozing false love and once you leave their " esteemed " presence, you switch off their existence from your life. I know I know. It's hard to do that for most people, but you know what ? Once you accept these kind of poeple for what they are, it becomes relatively easier to deal with their self indulgences. For when you are with them, you are completely aware of the fact that you mean nothing to them and they mean nothing to you. And Thus when they treat you badly, you have all the freedom to act any way you prefer in the knowledge that none of it really matters in the grander scheme of things.

Now in this there's a twist when these people mean a lot to those close to you or people close to such people are the ones who cherish you, both of which are viable cases. It's a sad state of affairs in either case for people who truly care for you always care bout those you love as well, but then no one says life is fair. Well, you just learn to differentiate. Between the valuer and valued. Once the lines are drawn, everything is a shade clearer. Sure, it takes time. But hey !! it's worth the wait, once you wrap your head around the artificiality of it all. ( Note. : Head, Not Heart )

Why am I sharing this ??!! For I know like me, there are many other emotional fools out there who think mostly with their hearts, thinking that most people actually mean what they say. For whom respect, love, caring, relations, etiquette, and promises mean something. And are genuinely shocked/hurt when they find that for many in the world, words are just that : Words.

Here's hoping you come across few of such people and when you do, you have your Switch handy :D
Author: Adisha
•Monday, February 09, 2009
I'm one for everything happening for a good reason, but is it possible to live without those little nagging questions called Regrets ? No matter what we do, how we do it, there's always that extra bit we could have done or that which we didn't do or wish we hadn't done. Isn't there ? Then why is it that people say , live life without regrets ? Is anyone that perfect that they can live a lifetime of perfect decisions ? Or is it possible that we Never look back and wonder about what went wrong? Making educated guesses / decisions are one thing, but we all are yet destined to go wrong once in a while right ? If not big ones, there are always those tiny little actions that may have meant something more to someone and caused a little lesser pain to another. So, I went online to my trusted quotes and looked up what the greats had to say and here is what enlightened me, atleast a little. I hope you all agree.

I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person.

I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I'd just been myself.

If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.

Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.

Regret is insight that comes a day too late.

To regret something is to hang yourself with your own noose. Mental suicide.

Regret is an odd emotion because it comes only upon reflection. Regret lacks immediacy, and so its power seldom influences events when it could do some good.

Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.

Accept the pain, cherish the joys, resolve the regrets; then can come the best of benedictions .

Apologizes are pointless, regrets come too late. What matters is you can move, on you can grow.

So I guess in the end, we all have our share of regrets. It's a bitter and mostly useless pill that one has to swallow but perfection is only God's business right? And then in some cases, it's realization that important. I feel sorry for those who refuse to face up to their mistakes and live lives in blind stubborness. If given a chance there are a Number of things I would like to do differently, but here I am, thankful for a few of them for they've made me what I am today and given me a Life that today gives me a million reasons to smile. :)
Author: Adisha
•Tuesday, February 03, 2009
I often wonder about this. In a world where everyone is in pursuit of " happyness " through this source, I wonder when this pursuit can ever end ?! Is it enough to live life king size or do you need to have an empire ? Do you have to have enough to put your kids through college or do you have to keep a Lot away for retirement ? When is enough truly enough ?

If you ask any person walking on the road, they'll say all they need is food, clothing, shelter. They say money cannot buy happiness. But what about those people who do not have enough to eat? Those who do not have an education ? A home ? Those who cannot afford a lavish wedding ? Those who find themselves homeless after retirement ? On the one hand there are people who are hand to mouth and on the other spectrum there are people who have exploiting every possible avenue to gather as much as they can. And for what ? Why Do people need so much money ? Couldn't money and fame be exclusive of each other ?

Sure we all habour dreams of living a luxurious life with servants, cars, clothes, and attaining every possible dream that we think of during the day walking along a road. But not everything we see is necessary. The US started the credit culture. It was a facility initialized as a support to those in need. But today, most people use it to buy things they cannot afford or need. People have forgotten the importance of money and saving up for what they want. Why is it they no one hesitates to apply for loans and credits that they Know they cannot maintain ? And in today's day and age when things are totally inflated and unpredicatable, it's even harder to save up for that ever surprising rainy day. I wonder if the world would have come to this position if people would just think of what they truly need and who all they need to actually impress? Society today is based on showing off what you don't have. The one who flashes borrowed pearls and lives build on loans are the only ones thought important. Whatever happened to basic human sanity and being nice for etiquette's sake? Things are given more importance than people. Basic formalities are forgotten in the daze of bright flashy diamonds.

Do not misunderstand me. We all need to work towards a better tomorrow. A comfortable life that we can be proud of. A name that makes our elders look down on us with pride and our young ones look up in admiration. Even That is an art that can be fine tuned only in time. It's a regimen that needs to be developed like the exercise a person does to take care of his health. And once this talent is honed, a person can truly benefit of all it's potential. Saving up, taking the right kind of loans, spending for the right reasons, saying no with a heavy heart to what you love and yet know is not really required, putting money in the bank and watching it grow and finally affording the things that you have oft coveted much to your guilty pleasure. But in the mellee of fighting for the mirage that's tomorrow, it's seen that people in our lives today are left dissappointed, one way or another. If you say No today, you may risk losing out on things that money Truly cannot buy. And if you say yes, you get further away from dreams of your own. And then there are those few who'll work night and day with you , without you for what You've always desired. The life you make, either ways is highly dependent on the lives surrounding you.

I wonder often about this, for when I was young, with nothing but my parents and what little they had during the Gulf War, I saw those close to us moving away in an inexplicible fear. Till date, I think if those same people had known that my parents' had a lot saved up, if things would have been different for us as a family. Now too, I see the same happening in different forms and question the morality and values of those around. Can we then choose to live our lives exclusive of others ? I doubt it.

< Sigh !! > Life and it's diverse questions. I wonder often : if I'll ever get answers to the fears that haunt me.
Author: Adisha
•Monday, February 02, 2009
I was watching the reality show " Dancing Queen " the other day and was apalled at the statements / arguments being made by the contestents. What has happened to people these days? It's such a sad state of events when people have no control on their tongues on a show being watched by people of all ages. I was under the impression, that these shows were supposed to encourage talent, sportsmen spirit, while making the networks a ton of money through ignorant people who love spending their money smsing their votes. But the language being used and the tongue showing is a far cry from the maintained poise expected from any personality on television. Even if this is all a show for TRP ratings, I'm well aware that small children watch these programs. What example are they setting for these promises of tomorrow ??

And then yesterday, I saw the Star Screen awards. I was flabberghasted by the so called jokes being cracked by Mr.Sajid Khan and Mrs. Farah Khan. I've in a previous post mentioned my views on the importance of a good sense of humor. There is Nothing at all funny about men wearing girls clothes or begging for alms on tv or acting gay. I'm all for freedom of speech and choice of sexual orientation but some respect needs to be given to both these liberties given by society. Why is it that acceptance is shown by making fun of something ? It was totally distasteful by my standards and I'm sure others feel the same way that Ashutosh Gowartikar felt. Though, once again, his defiance and dissappointment could have been potrayed in a much better way. I found parts of his statement very compelling that people work very hard to achieve these awards and making a mockery of the industry and people recieving the awards during the proceedings and not letting them express their gratitude freely is an insult in more ways than one. I for one have never liked Sajid Khan's sense of humor, but to be frank this trend was started by SRK and Saif Ali Khan. Their jokes were still funny for the fact that some of the fun they made were dispelling rumors or flamboyantly joking about flops. But at times even they were tasteless and I wonder why No one stopped them at That point. Someone Might comment that the jokes are given by the Network hosting the show. But I'm VERY sure that No star can be compelled to Do something on Television that they aren't comfortable with.

On the other part there was Akshay Kumar rejecting his trophy. I'm only aware of what rumors I read in the papers but as a viewer I only considered it very sad for a Star of his stature doing that. Dedicating your award to another is one thing and leaving it behind , giving it to someone who Everyone knows Doesnt accept awards ( Aamir ) is demeaning in ways. I don't think it was a Selfless act. I don't know what it was or his reasons behind it, but I do know that it seemed unncessary.

All in all, I wonder what it is that the children of tomorrow are being taught via the one mode that's the Biggest source of entertainment. What happened to the values that were potrayed in the times before like self restraint, poise, glamor, elegance, laughing at yourself, being better than what you are, etc ? Sure, exhibit life at it is but don't forget to remind people of how LIFE should be. Now it's embarraising that award winning artists don't even have enough grace to stop chewing the gum in their mouths before coming on stage, which is Right up there with eating with your mouth open.