Author: Adisha
•Monday, February 09, 2009
I came to an enlightment today. It's a fact and a heartless art that one needs to perfect though. Once acceptance for the said concept is achieved, I think I too May just be on my way to achieving Nirvana.

You know those people, who don't really care about you and yet when they meet you act like no one else in the world cares about you more. They are found sprinkled all across your life : people you grew up with, classmates, relatives, acquaintances, collegues or friends who shower you with " so called " concern once a month when they remember you or when you visit with them. They are right there to party or when they need something and then dissappear . And after meeting them, your blood boils wondering how can anyone be so mannerless or selfish or dense ?! Are they like that just with you or they never knew the meaning of the word " caring " and " respect". Those who you can't cut out from your lives and yet can't really stand being with. These are the usually the kinds looking out for Number 1, that are oblivious to the existence of others other than themselves, those that matter to Them and those who can be of Certain advantage to their future.

These are the kinds who make you wonder if there's something wrong with you. For every time you meet them, you try putting on a new kind of armor to adapt to their eccentricities and once they've left you find yourself hurt in places you didn't know existed. They make you question your own rationality and emotions and the essence of all that you've grown up with. They drain you of a Little bit of self respect each time you meet them and make you doubt the value of your existence.

For These people, I've come up with the On/Off switch. The one that makes us Just like them , for the time period during which we Are in their presence. When you see them, you switch on the charm meter oozing false love and once you leave their " esteemed " presence, you switch off their existence from your life. I know I know. It's hard to do that for most people, but you know what ? Once you accept these kind of poeple for what they are, it becomes relatively easier to deal with their self indulgences. For when you are with them, you are completely aware of the fact that you mean nothing to them and they mean nothing to you. And Thus when they treat you badly, you have all the freedom to act any way you prefer in the knowledge that none of it really matters in the grander scheme of things.

Now in this there's a twist when these people mean a lot to those close to you or people close to such people are the ones who cherish you, both of which are viable cases. It's a sad state of affairs in either case for people who truly care for you always care bout those you love as well, but then no one says life is fair. Well, you just learn to differentiate. Between the valuer and valued. Once the lines are drawn, everything is a shade clearer. Sure, it takes time. But hey !! it's worth the wait, once you wrap your head around the artificiality of it all. ( Note. : Head, Not Heart )

Why am I sharing this ??!! For I know like me, there are many other emotional fools out there who think mostly with their hearts, thinking that most people actually mean what they say. For whom respect, love, caring, relations, etiquette, and promises mean something. And are genuinely shocked/hurt when they find that for many in the world, words are just that : Words.

Here's hoping you come across few of such people and when you do, you have your Switch handy :D
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4 Spin Offs:

On February 10, 2009 at 4:39 PM , sanz360 said...

i'm one of those people who think with their hearts (and yeah i can get so insanely foolish!). i now have a super-hero ability, i can figure out who "those" people are who really think of you as scrap but are dripping honey in front of you. my response to them is simply to use their own devices against them. it may sound mean but i love myself a little too much to question my rationality or even my (insane) feelings based on others' judgements and ideas.
i don't pretend to like them when i really don't, i simply "switch" them off, not caring what they think. my faith in my self is a little too strong to be wavered by someone else

On February 11, 2009 at 4:43 AM , Dreamy said...

I am a similar type of person, emotional and helpful. But then I also can judge people in very short time, but then I also have the humility and empathy of not to hurt anyone.
So, yes the switch thing has to be used with these kinda of people, but still it always remains difficult with people like me.

On February 11, 2009 at 6:29 AM , Netika Lumb said...

Ditto for me.. but you know I just realized that all of us are alike.We are pretentious with a few and transparent with some. When these people come up to me and exchange pleasantaries, I know this is fake, even they know thats the case, but I have to reciprocate (cant help it, cn we?). I may not like this but I have to, and I think most of us do, fall for the trap. So may be when we are discussing how we switch on and off, they also somewhere are discussing how they do the same thing.
Yes, at best what we may do is, be indifferent towards this category, but assuming we are the polite sorts, which lets face it, we have to be, then even that indifference is a reaction. And not everyone understands the exact meaning of the indifferent attitude, and hence, the pleasantaries.

On February 11, 2009 at 6:54 AM , Adisha said...

@sanz : super hero ability :o LOlz. yeahhhh :) it's necessary to have a faith in yourself that isn't affected by others. but i'm sorry to say that i've often in the past let such people affect me and now, i'm putting my shields up.

@dreamy : the point is that it's difficult, but necessary .

@netika : totally admire your view point in which you state we all the same and in the end, we too are just as pretentious at times too. but just a clarification that here I am not referring to those acquaintances who we meet once in a blue moon and the indifference is mutual. I'm referring to those people who get on your nerves and Dance on them : those who at some point Have been close to you or " technically " based on our societies niceties lay claim to have a standing in your Life. Smiling and being cordial to these lot is a daunting task, as I'm sure u agree.