Author: Adisha
•Thursday, May 15, 2008
Firstly, I'm no big fan of Shahrukh or Aamir. I love movies, and characters they play but not the people. After all, no person is perfect. And they are in the industry get ahead making huge amounts of money, get fame and all the glory that comes with it. No matter what they might claim. Read the " sensational " news today of Aamir naming a dog after Shahrukh and I just Had to go and read it for myself. As the blog goes, it's Aamir talking about a dog that his Caretakers have, whose name is Shahrukh. As he justifies this jab, by saying that though he had nothing to do with naming the dog, he's just plain lucky to have bought a house which had a dog named Shahrukh. In the comments given to the post there were people lauding his sense of humor besides his description of Panchgani ( where the house is ). And there were a few who called it what it was. Tasteless.

I for one am appalled at His choice of words. I mean, cmon ! He's a man of vast means, interests, educated. And this is what he finds funny? Taking potshots at a rival ? What is the world coming to when such a big name in the industry, an idol to many, creates such an example for the people around who look up to him? No one can convince me that he had no idea what he was saying or what impression he was creating. Shahrukh me laugh it off all he wants, but in the end, it is what it is. Demeaning. Sure, people name their pets whatever they feel like. And many might even consider it a compliment to be made such a part of people's life. But then, the various comments made by Aamir are nothing, but hints of taming Shahrukh ( the dog ).

It's not a big deal in the bigger scheme of things, of course. More than anything, I think it disturbs me so much for no other reason other than the way many people have picked up the habit on commenting on anything and everything. Physical attributes, love lives, work, studies,salary, marriage, achievements - everything is fair game. Sarcastic comments are flying all across the globe. A person might not think twice before asking a question or passing a remark that makes another highly uncomfortable. Is it that they don't realize what they are saying or is it just that people prefer trying to make a point, no matter how insensitive they may come across as. Most days I find it highly amusing to what levels people can try to pry and poke. And some days, I find myself tightening my fists in balls of red, preventing myself punching them in the face. It's these kind of people, who invite people to hit back with whatever ammunition they can muster that the time. When thoroughly provoked anyone and everyone is bound to cross their threshold and retaliate one way or another.

The best part is that most of these people do it behind the curtain of humor or inquisitiveness. They'll usually come back with " I was just kidding. Didn't mean to make you feel bad. " I admit, there is humor in sarcasm but Only when used productively or playfully. Not like a barbed wire that hurts. I don't think it's anyone's business criticize any other person's life or choices in any way. Unless of course actively involved. And then also, words should be chosen prudently and in a way to achieve best results. No one in their right minds, can do anything right when disturbed. For that you need to love and cherish what is already in them and nourish that. And it's never funny to calling someone ugly or fat or too thin. I think we all already have our own demons to battle, let alone to be bothered about someone else's. I think it has more to do with people not Knowing the difference between humor and vulgarity. Somehow enjoying the feeling of morbid relief in pointing a finger at another, in the process diminishing the size of their own shortcomings.

Our society just might be a better place if we all took care of what we said. Praising rather than criticizing and cherishing rather than pointing. For all that's encouraged is what makes us what we are. Humor does have it's own place and playfully used, leads to laughter that can heal many a broken souls. Between friends, with a mutual understanding and respect, smiles can be brought about with ease. But crass, cheap, bad mannered jest finds indulgence only in the minds of the impervious.
Author: Adisha
•Monday, May 12, 2008
Earlier we didn't have days. Mother's day, Father's day, Friendship day and all the other kinda days that make us wanna celebrate for the silliest reasons. I don't agree with most of the mundane reasons. Who in the world came up festivals like Frog Jumping day, Dance like a chicken day or Butterfly day ? What is one even supposed to do on these days ? Still I do believe then Life is a celebration. A celebration of every breath, memory and smile that's granted to us. And I'm glad that some how in recent times, this tradition has gradually come across that requires us to start expressing ourselves and appreciate life's wonderful gifts. Specially, people that we genuinely care for. It's important in life to let the people we love know what we feel for them, one way or another. It's not just actions and gifts, but words that come straight from the heart. To know how proud we are of their achievements and how wonderful it is that they are a part of our lives. A chance to reflect on our relationships and rejoice for all they bring into our lives.

Mother's day ! A day when I am thankful for the kind of mother GOD graced me with. My friend, confidante, supporter, and among a List of other things, the one person I could turn to no matter what the problem or situation. More than a mother, she's been my friend. A fact she loes to dispute ever so often. She's given me a lot of swell memories. Laughing together, crying together, discussing everything under the sun, sleeping late, eating together late in the nights once she broke her fasts, catching a movie together, being a rapt audience while I gleefully talked a mile a mute or displayed my talents. She's held me when I've broken down and tried to protect me in whatever ways she could. Always standing behind me, no matter what road I decided to take in life or ended up on, praying for what's best for me. Fighting her own battles, holding the house together with her love, working hard at everything she did, at the same time making sure my bro and I got raised right. We have always been too hot to handle, but she molded us into what we are today with all the strength she could muster. Always giving, sacrificing and never taking anything in return as reward. I remember a number of times when I've had to fight her just to get her to accept a small gift, which she's later quietly put back into my bag. She's a woman bar none I've ever seen. No one I've known has the innocence and love she holds within her. Till date I wonder when the day will come when she'll become wise to the world's intricacies. Whether she knows it or not, she's the best thing that could have happened to us. She's always been my guiding star, keeping me good and down to earth. I can only hope to one day be able to become one tenth of the human being she is, let alone the kind of mother she has been.

I thank you mom for the kind of person you are and all the kindness you have showered upon us. I can only hope to make you proud. Now, I'm taking on the roles you have had and learn every day how much harder every step must have been for you. Though, now I have the love of another mother and as I get to know her, I find myself being showered with more love than I could have imagined. And am amazed at how lucky I've gotten. So , today, I give a salute to all mothers out there who sacrifice a bit of themselves every day for the growth of their family ....

Though I try to make it a point to make my special someone's feel exceptionally important on these days, wouldn't it be better to be thankful and expressive as often as we can. One day can Never be enough to show the love you have for someone. After all, a relationship is made up of more than One day in the year right ???
Author: Adisha
•Saturday, May 10, 2008
I was wondering the other day. Usually, it's my hubby giving me then news of the day. But these days I try to make it a point to go through all the google-d news I can. As I go through article after article, I wonder where the world is headed. Morally, financially, emotionally, and socially ...

What do I want from life? Get a good job, earn well, raise a family I can be proud of and along the way try as many things I've ever wanted to experience. End of the day, most of us want to just do our best in the roles that have be handed to us by Life. In the end, I just want to be able to have said that I lived a full life, in which I achieved whatever I could have, given the circumstances. Be successful, get richer monetarily and in all the other senses possible. Be able to buy all the things I've wanted to, read all the books I've ever wanted, be versatile in the arts I like. I live each day in the anticipation of realizing the little dreams I have for myself.

And yet, there are people out there who are barely surviving. Not just the poor or unprivileged, but those who somehow develop a warped sense of how life should be compared to the Normal viewpoint. Who are stuck in a quagmire of someone else's making. I'm of course referring to the weirdness around us like in the sects. One man's desire to start a humongous village referring to himself as God and then what ? Imagine the children who grow up in such situations. Most of them probably don't even realize there is a whole other world out there, out of the clutches of this morbid upbringing. Where they could be a lot more than they are Now. And then there is the man, who keeps a girl imprisoned in his grip. She's given birth to children in that dark place who have never even seen the light of day. Through no fault of hers, she and those born of her are destined to suffer, till through some sweet twist of fate they are freed into the real world. The person quietly walking to or from a place they frequent and having their lives turned upside down by a passing act of violence. The societies stuck in war ravaged countries, with no better way of living thanks to people they have never heard of or seen. Daily scrounging for food, fighting sickness, darting bullets. Then there are other people who don't have the courage to stand up for themselves. They are all doomed to spend a life, living day to day just trying to survive and reach to the end of life or their rope, which ever comes first. It's bad enough when people like us don't stand up for what's wrong and try to do our bit in doing what's right , giving stronger, harder people a chance to do as their unwholesome will desires. But imagine the people, who CANNOT get away from this macabre world created for them. Will they ever be granted a smile or know what true happiness is? Experience life as we know it? I wonder. I can only empathize and hope that they find some one to guide them to the warmth in the core of their own hearts bringing them into the sunshine.

The world is getting smaller yet somehow more disconnected. It's in these cracks that we let seep into our lives unknowingly that give a chance for such seeds to be planted and grow exponentially. We can't weed out all the bad and hurt. There will always be suffering and hurt and colossal pain, such that we can't even imagine. Such pain that we avoid our whole lives, being careful in every way so as not to be touched by any sort of aggression. But what about those out there who need a hand, a shoulder, or just a smile. That isn't too much to give back to the world, right ? We can try to do our bit in returning Some thing , any thing to the world which has given us the simple pleasures of Our own lives. Maybe it's just by voicing our concerns or being there for someone who needs us, or just smiling at someone who seems to be having a bad day. Be nice, be kind, be courteous. Pass it on. Who knows? Your smile might be the breathe of fresh air that someone needs.
Author: Adisha
•Friday, May 09, 2008
It's might be a little early for me to be saying what is right for a relationship. But then, I believe the basics are always the same and who are we kidding ?? It's Never just perfect. But we can always try. And for perfection one needs practice and patience. And Lots of work on both sides. There is no short cut and certainly no free lessons to a happy life but from my experience I've learnt that the below few pointers do help us all. Not just in marriage but any relation. Of course, it's not applicable to everyone because some people are just built different but it's worked for me and the few that I've seen around me !!! So, here goes -

1. Laugh a lot .
1. Respect each other .
1. Have fun together - always be willing to try new things .
1. Be willing to compromise .
1. Share every thing and thought .
1. Talk your heart out .
1. Learn to let the small things go ; we all have our quirks .
1. When in doubt - ask .
1. Bury each hatchet , after having used it in a momentary war .
1. Never dig up old graves ; they are old, useless, painful, and stink big time !!
1. Resolve each issue and find a suitable solution - one at a time .
1. If you stray from a topic always find the essence of the discussion .
1. Value each other's opinions .
1. Sometimes more than anything , just listening and venting are needed ; after that move on .
1. Be willing to be silly .
1. Have fun with surprises.
1. Make every moment count .
1. TRY enjoying each other's worlds .
1. Give each other space to be themselves .
1. Compliment each other a lot .
1. Say I love you a lot .
1. Think about how the other person would feel before taking any action .
1. Remember - Intention is what matters in the end. It's the thought that counts.
1. To solve any problem, you have to believe you can make it work .
1. Don't be scared to speak your mind ; specially if it's important to you .
1. Always try choose your words carefully .
1. Keep your expectations in check .
1. Listen and pay attention to each other - the said And the unsaid .
1. In the heat of the moment ; sometimes it's Ok to keep quiet and let things fizzle out .
1. Don't put up a show. The real you comes out eventually . Be yourself .
1. Pamper each other to the fullest .
1. Be supportive and always have your shoulder handy .
1. Care about people the other cares for .
1. Always take a stand for what you believe in And for the one you LOVE.
1. Say loving words often .
1. Always let them know in every way that they are special to you .
1. Never take each other for granted .
1. Always keep aside special alone time .
1. Appreciate every small or big effort taken for you .

Then there's always that extra mile you can and should go for someone you love and care about. Remember, happiness shared is doubled and sorrow shared is halved. So, goes to reason, when the other person is happy , you'll find happiness too. It's a circle ; it all comes back. And yes, they are all number 1 for a reason !!!
Author: Adisha
•Thursday, May 08, 2008

Water, water every where and the beauty of it all. I went to the beach recently and once there, I was just over come with the desire to plunge into the waters and let them wash all the heat and troubles off me. I've been brought up in a place where going to the beach was a part of every weekend outing. Once I grew up, going to a water body, sitting along the water front, walking along the water's side, was a part of living. There's just something magical and purifying about letting the wind blow over you as you look out at the vast oceans pondering about the unknown. Picnics, outings, long drives or walks, no matter what the reason it's always a pleasure to spend some time near a water body. Thoughts grow clearer, as your eyes get refreshed by the sights of the endless horizon before you. And if there is a sunset or sunrise, it adds all the more meaning to the moment. The sheer beauty of the clean, shining, blue waters is enough to take your breath away. The way the skies change colors, almost reflects onto your mood uplifting you to a higher plane. The serenity that one finds beside these water fronts guarantee to support the wide range of emotions that flow through you. The way the skies meet the sea, is a perfect example of irony where nothing is exactly as it seems.

Many sweet memories were made by the sea side of games played with friends imagining us living in a sand caslte , picnics with families and uncles and aunts, refreshing swims, endless talks with friends, playing around at waterfalls with family and my brother, long walks during times of turmoil and silently looking across at the endless blues while deep in thought are all a part of the life I've loved. Even now, sitting along the sea or any water front, mysteriously guides me into a blissful state. Nothing gives me more joy, than going back to the waters anywhere; that have been friends longer than I have been alive and given me many happy memories to cherish. I'm not blind to the loss that can come from them becoming the enemy but that's a law of nature and nothing can be done except try our best under that circumstances. Yet disasters aside, it is amazing how being in the presence of such beauty and luscious sounds is totally calming.

Though, when we went to this beach, I was sorely disappointed to see the state of the waters which seemed dangerously toxic. I could only refrain myself by dipping my feet into the waves to feel the soothing cool in the blistering day. Maybe this beach wasn't meant to be go swimming in, but then being that it was placed beside a water park, I think the clean waters might have added a financial benefit to the park as well. I for one, would have loved to go into the park, if only I could have taken a small dip into the cool waters. This is my one call to direct us all to the sad state in which the un recycled waters are in presently. Let us all do our small bit in taking care to keep our waters clean and make efficient use of our available resources. And for those of you out there who haven't yet taking a walk along the river side, go ahead, take someone you care about or just take a random stroll and experience the love of the deep blue waters ...