For those few that read my humble blog , I'm off back to hubby dearest !!! Am excited, nervous and trepid with anticipation about my trip back , being with hubby again :D And setting up my new pad !

I've been with my parents past 3 months, my birth place so to speak and have enjoyed it a lot. The experiance has lead to some great thoughts, realizations, outings and some decent writing on my part, giving me time to Blog properly :D

Well, I'm off now and will be gone a few days !! So wish me luck on the new chapter in my journey in life ... And for anyone who wishes to see something new from me, please go through the rest of my writings and let me know what you think !! :)

Cheerio... Keep blogging and rocking !!

You have a problem that you cannot solve. Confusion, hurt, pain, suffering all twist within you as you search in vain for a solution that'd give you peace. You ponder often, swaying between pros and cons, rights and wrongs, doing what feels right and doing what is thought by others to be right. You talk about it to your friends, your family, anyone who Think may hold the key to this lock that holds within it the treasure of your happiness.

You puzzle for hours, days, months, years even.

The truth of the matter is that it's only You who can do Anything. No one can truly help. They can sympathise, support, predict, make assumptions, give options, retort, judge, regret, even express wonderment at how long you've been willing to carry your burden around. Everyone has an answer based on their beliefs and experiances. Everything makes sense but nothing will click : For you. For you too, will have your excuses, reasons, past and facts to justify every action that can be explained perfectly to you and those around you as well, but no answer yourself as to how to make your ghosts go away.

Call it destiny, reason, or the Hand of God, one fine day a moment, an incident draws upon you an epiphany. A flash of light, breaks through all the barriers you've erected that've held you back so long and free you of their clutches. Then, the solution stands before you like a beacon in a stormy night. And you wonder, why didn't I see this before ? Why did you waste all that time in making a decision that other's could see all the while?

Maybe you were destined to carry the weight all that while, to be liften only when the lessons hidden in the dilemma that had befuddled you for so long. Whatever the reason, and the reason does come forth in time as well, it's Only You and Such moments that shape you, your beliefs and your life !

Be patient, have faith and keep living life to the fullest. For those moments Will come and dazzle you in ways unknown. Don't forget to act swiftly for they may pass you by just as easily ...

Tag I got on face book and seems like an interesting challenge. Funny thing is it's hard to get started and once you start, it's hard to stop :) Rest of you out there, accept this tag if you like. Would be nice to get to know a little more about you all too .

So here's a little about me --

I love reading/ writing/ dancing / watching tv or movies most of which I started early and Still continue in any form available.

I am extremely obsessive about things being in their right place.

Once I set a goal to do a job, I CANNOT rest till I'm finished. I figure, I can totally chillax once I'm done.

I am great at zoning out if I get bored.

I don't ever mind being alone be it at home or outside.

I believe in saying what's on my mind. Very volcanic in that regard.

I sleep with a fan and blanket no matter what the weather.

I have a very low threshold for people who display qualities I dislike; like disloyalty, nit picking, disrespect for others, saying what you don't mean, show off, bad manners, insensitiveness or a tacky sense of humor. Definite turn offs.

I'll stand by what's right, no matter what the cost to me.

I cannot imagine living a life without friends who Know the meaning of friendship.10. I am loyal to a fault.

I Never go shopping, unless I need to.

I'll say sorry as soon as I realize what I've done or did was wrong. No matter when that might be or even much later than the event.

I enjoy trying out new things for new experiences.

I am a foodie specially if it's extremely spicy food. Never liked sweets till I got married. Now I need a bite of something sweet; after every dinner.

I act/talk funny once I get sleepy.

I learnt the true essence of love when I got extremely lucky and met my husband : the smile on my lips, the twinkle of my eye. The one person who truly understands & accepts Everything about me, albeilt with a grain of salt and a hearty laugh. :)

I enjoy talking to all sorts of people and trying to figure out what they are really made of. Doesn't mean I'm a good judge of charachter though. But it takes a lot of wrongs before you meet the right kind of people who make life worthwile.

People I call friends, I know really, really well.

I am religious in the way that I believe each person is entitled to having their own kind of relation to God.

I play Agony Aunt often, having a highly sensitive empathy scale.

I love everything about water bodies, specially beaches. The water, the sky, the sounds, the feel.

I grew up too early. Being the elder one and the problem solver ( well, I've tried a LOT :)) ) in the house, the weight of managing a lot of things has often fallen on my already tired, inexperienced shoulders. Then came the horrid phase of realizing that life's even more complicated and there's a very long way for me to go yet. Unsuccessful as I Might have been, I've had the satisfaction of having lived my life on my terms and am now well aware that this journey is an endless work in progress. I don't really remember much about my juvenile years and of what I do remember I prefer not remniscing about. No, this is not a pity party, for there aren't any horrid stories. Just the usual struggles of someone in a difficult environment. Consequently, have always felt I matured too early in life !!!

Now, after marriage, I find myself living my childhood. Finally! In the 2 years that I've been married it's liberating to be able to fool around, play senseless games, run rampant, talk gibberish and just have plain, simple, uncomplicated fun with the one person whose had the patience to bear with my childishness and maybe become a Bigger baby in the process. :) Well, He didn't have a long way to go. He's as simple and innocent as they come , at the the same time sensible enough to keep me grounded and provide the required stability. Though it was Only in time that I realized, that the elation I felt was from the infantile nature we shared. The relief in being able to be myself totally and finally doing the things I've always wanted to do, or try is truly liberating.

Why do I talk about this today ? I was talking to a close friend today when we were discussing how 30 is the new 20 now, and once we are kind of in our middle 20s, we start wishing that we did more of what We want, rather than what the society expects. In conversation I realized that Most of us in today's world tend to grow up wayyy too early and sometimes we forget that mind set, not age is the factor in enjoying each moment. How ridiculous it is, when in this day and age where people live to their 90s even, today we have people in their 30s cribbing about how they are too old for this or that.

Sure, sometimes responsibilities just take front seat but we with the Right kind of circumstances, we can Still make way for our desires to come true. My friend was so relieved to hear that it gave them hope that they still had time for themselves. So I thought, maybe there are other's out there who need to be reminded, that Life is not just about trudging through the turmoils. There's always time to have unadultrated, senseless fun that's reminiscent of our adolescent days. And we can, given the right mindset.

So Guys !! Don't give up on the inner child in you. Given a chance, it Will run wild. It's always waiting somewhere within you :) I found it and so will you .... :)

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

Isn't it amazing how when two people are fighting they don't really realize what they are saying and usually end up saying more than they would like to ?? Their basic desire is to basically get through to each other, but when that desire turns into an intention to hurt, the picture gets distorted. And then it's too hard to see the actual picture. So why shout in the first place ?? Why not calmly, rationally discuss the issue keeping in mind what the true problem is ?

Ok ! This isn't possible, coz sometimes you are so far gone that it's hard to control. But After the inital fountain of anger dissipates ( with venting, crying, screaming whatever ) one can always go back to the heart of the matter and talk about it logically. That's where actual understanding about a person's intentions, reasons, logic, and a possible compromise or solution come into play. For this, Listening is as important as discussing.

Ok ! Sometimes even that is not done, a solution is Not reached. Then Leave it. Accept that, the situation cannot be changed. Funny is, when the expectations are to Trying to change another's personality ?? Now when is Anyone known to change ? Sure, if something is logically explained to open minds, then just maybe. What is the point in trying to explain to a closed mind, one brings up All past issues into a present one springing up all the hate and anger that's left over from all those spewing venom in everyone's lives, when it will once again have no result ??

They say, all is fair in love and war. What kind of idiot lives by that ? People have to exercise caution, understanding, reason, compromise in Both. Why do people forget to be fair to the We and think only about the I ???

I have a confession to make. After my Switch Blog, I still lost it where certain people are concerned. I tried successfully to keep my emotions in check for a few months but then I Yet Reacted to a trivial issue. But then for someone outspoken like me to keep feelings bottled up so long, it was a straw that broke the camel's back and that's not much of an improvement, is it ?

Then by chance, attended a Meditation Seminar which resonated of my Better Half's words. Penning down a few milestones of my journey in the past few weeks. Input anyone ??

* I need to just accept that there just Are people who I cannot get along well with and maybe shouldn't try too hard after a while either.

* If you are sure that you deserve respect, you don't really need it from anyone else.

* I love myself : caring about myself is the First step in being able to loving others. Hurt affects no one but yourself. In the end no one stands up for you but You.

* By holding on to others's actions, even though the situation doesn't change, I get ridden with guilt for feeling the way I did and acting the way I did, ending up hurting / upsetting the one person who I truly about. And nothing / no one is worth that kind of attention.

* Whatever goes wrong, May be a consequence of some subtle action on my part and I need to take responsibility for that. I may not be able to change the past or the people involved, but I may change the future by letting go of the subsequent reaction.

* A lot of the hurt and pain, that I've felt over the years has left a bitter residue. But if I go to Really think about it ; I don't really have a good memory of more than a few incidents over the last decades, so what's the point of fretting over similar trivial things today?

* Maybe giving up hope of getting through to some people would a good thing. Just letting their words / actions wash over me would be better than fretting over why/ how they do what they do, for someone whose not changed in years, is doubtful to change now.

* People's feelings, other than family : change over time. But one doesn't realize some of the changes till one is in the Actual situation in person.

* For most people, out of sight IS out of mind. Someone I am fond of told me recently " We are so used to Not having you around, that now even though you are here, don't really remember to keep in touch. " Cruel ! Yet so true.

* The funniest thing is the same applies to me. I realized I myself, don't feel the same about most of the people I Thought I was attached to over the years. Doesn't hurt as much to be sidelined as it used to. Or maybe I've it's more coz I too have gotten used to being alone :) After a time, people are just easier to remember as a figment of memories.

* In the end, people are left wondering how did a straw break a Camel's back ??! No one else can really Feel the load that was there before . So better to stay Light. Being carefree would be so much easier ...


Food for Thought :

A lovely dialogue from the funny movie Ghost Town :

" We just get the one life, you know. Just one. You can't live someone else's or think it's more important just because it's more dramatic. What happens matters. May be only to us, but it matters. "