•Wednesday, March 04, 2009
'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'
Isn't it amazing how when two people are fighting they don't really realize what they are saying and usually end up saying more than they would like to ?? Their basic desire is to basically get through to each other, but when that desire turns into an intention to hurt, the picture gets distorted. And then it's too hard to see the actual picture. So why shout in the first place ?? Why not calmly, rationally discuss the issue keeping in mind what the true problem is ?
Ok ! This isn't possible, coz sometimes you are so far gone that it's hard to control. But After the inital fountain of anger dissipates ( with venting, crying, screaming whatever ) one can always go back to the heart of the matter and talk about it logically. That's where actual understanding about a person's intentions, reasons, logic, and a possible compromise or solution come into play. For this, Listening is as important as discussing.
Ok ! Sometimes even that is not done, a solution is Not reached. Then Leave it. Accept that, the situation cannot be changed. Funny is, when the expectations are to Trying to change another's personality ?? Now when is Anyone known to change ? Sure, if something is logically explained to open minds, then just maybe. What is the point in trying to explain to a closed mind, one brings up All past issues into a present one springing up all the hate and anger that's left over from all those spewing venom in everyone's lives, when it will once again have no result ??
They say, all is fair in love and war. What kind of idiot lives by that ? People have to exercise caution, understanding, reason, compromise in Both. Why do people forget to be fair to the We and think only about the I ???
Isn't it amazing how when two people are fighting they don't really realize what they are saying and usually end up saying more than they would like to ?? Their basic desire is to basically get through to each other, but when that desire turns into an intention to hurt, the picture gets distorted. And then it's too hard to see the actual picture. So why shout in the first place ?? Why not calmly, rationally discuss the issue keeping in mind what the true problem is ?
Ok ! This isn't possible, coz sometimes you are so far gone that it's hard to control. But After the inital fountain of anger dissipates ( with venting, crying, screaming whatever ) one can always go back to the heart of the matter and talk about it logically. That's where actual understanding about a person's intentions, reasons, logic, and a possible compromise or solution come into play. For this, Listening is as important as discussing.
Ok ! Sometimes even that is not done, a solution is Not reached. Then Leave it. Accept that, the situation cannot be changed. Funny is, when the expectations are to Trying to change another's personality ?? Now when is Anyone known to change ? Sure, if something is logically explained to open minds, then just maybe. What is the point in trying to explain to a closed mind, one brings up All past issues into a present one springing up all the hate and anger that's left over from all those spewing venom in everyone's lives, when it will once again have no result ??
They say, all is fair in love and war. What kind of idiot lives by that ? People have to exercise caution, understanding, reason, compromise in Both. Why do people forget to be fair to the We and think only about the I ???
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7 Spin Offs:
Sometimes in a relationship we have to agree to disagree!!!
Compromise, give and take.Life is not perfect.It has its little flaws but why let the little cracks bother you.No painting is perfect but we still enjoy it.
http://cutestangel.wordpress.com/
I totally hate it when people say, everything is fair in love andwar. No. Nothing is ever fair if it does justice only to a weak moment. This is a stand very weak people take, who think they can't bring the required difference.
the way i see it...first and foremost we have to start with believing that both the parties will never ever agree 100% on everything ...(frankly speaking that would get a bit boring)...you may not completely agree but you can definitely reach a compromise and just accept the other person's decision/choice. Oh yes there will be arguments but at least there will not be bitterness later
Hey!
I agree with Netika. I hate the quote "everything is fair in love and war." Amazing post. Your blogs header is beautiful! Do you have more pictures like that??
Completely Agree with you.
Since we are Humans, we cant be perfect we will surely make mistakes in our Life. But Shouting on the Partner & Fighting is not a solution. we will than end up Hurting our partner.
Well Every Solution can be found by talking Calmly.
& The Relationship wont exist longer if we think about only ourself.
There should be Trust & understanding in all relationships than there won't be such fights.
regards
Kunal
tru tru.. but it doesnt work every time. each time i have a fight with someone or am angry with someone, i try to calm myself down to understand the problem, but if the other party is not in for that, that worsens the situation, it results in more anger n more fight.. i kinda start chucking down n quitting these days.. i just walk off n after some time, things return to normal.
All, in all great to see like minded people who take relations with the required pinch of salt :) ... Thank you all for visiting.
@ angel - Well said !! every life has it flaws :)
@ netika - I swear. Only weak take the support of Such silly quotes.
@ dreamy - :) As usual loved your take. The fact that you accept that no one is perfect is the stepping stone to resolving issues.
@ cursed - Thankyou !! Sorry dear, this is a ready made template.
@ kunal - Well said Kunal !!!! Glad you agree...