Author: Adisha
•Thursday, July 02, 2009

Every day we make decisions. Every action is associated with an expectation. We make educated guesses for the best action. How to behave in a given situation, how another will react to our words, how a relationship will grow or change, how close we want to be to someone, how much distance we want to keep with others, how to control the anger we feel, how to hurt someone without it bouncing back, how to get over hurt we feel, how to handle irritants, how to curb our desires, how to express our feelings and the list goes on and on ...

All the while hoping against hope that things turn out such that life takes a turn for the better and keeps moving in sane, joyous direction. We fight a constant battle between our hearts and our heads. Sometimes we give in to one or the other, depending on which is more persistent and creative with it's excuses :)

Meanwhile many of us, just let things happen. We choose to go with the flow - belittling the impact of our decisions, imagining we deserve whatever happiness we get is justified as it fills the void that we're feeling.

All the same, every Day we walk a Fine Line. The line that's drawn between the blacks and whites in our life. If we all could live in the white parts, we'd All be happy. Coz what is better than keeping things simple, Right ? Wrong ? For as we look around we see, people prefer living in the grays. Why ? Because it's exciting , adventurous, dangerous ... and without them, where would there be any fun ? We maneuver ourselves towards what's tempting at the given moment, making up a million reasons about why we need to do what we feel like doing. Loopholes in the rule book of life are created impromptu for our convenience. Later when things go wrong, the consequent drama makes us feel alive in some ways as a piece of us is taken away. At the same time, sadly we lose out on other things that could genuinely make us happy.



This line is getting fainter day by day as people get more confused about their feelings and actions. What does one expect when one walks the fine line between the below and strays from one into the other or mistakes one for the other and leads to further complications, hurt, misery or worse broken bridges ...

If you're miserable, the simple thing is to try to not be miserable. Idealistic ??! Probably ! Realistic ??! I believe so ! It's Always easier said than done , but if it's being said, then it's been done by Someone in the past right ? And it can be done again , too ...

Life needs it's grays, but IF things are kept Simple, the grays turn into colors and life is just so much easier all around. Maybe we could be more careful walking the fine line. Maybe it would help if we could keep our deeds in check by identifying that -



Love Is Different From Friendship
Low priority Is Different From Indifference
Living life to the fullest Is Different From Going through the motions
Compromise
Is Different From Sacrifice
Loving Is Different From Caring
Letting go Is Different From Losing
Frankness Is Different From Rudeness
Reminding Is Different From Pestering
Scolding Is Different From Berating
Having principals Is Different From Being Stubborn
Inquisitive Is Different From Nosey
Understanding Is Different From Being a push over
Keeping quite Is Different From Accepting Fault
Being friendly Is Different From Flirting
Maintaining Distance Is Different From Being Aloof
Venting Is Different From Whining
Being Sad Is Different From Being Melodramatic
Resolving Issues Is Different From Playing the Blame Game
Having an Opinion Is Different From Judging
Genuine Advice Is Different From Coaxing
Drawing Conclusions Is Different From Making Assumptions
Diplomacy Is Different From Choosing a Side



And so the list goes on and on, based on the intention, actuality and perception ....

What's the point of this post ? I don't know. Some days I regret mistakes I've made. Sure those were lessons and have made me who I am and I do love who I am today. Yet some days, I find myself wishing I had someone who'd guided me kindly, to the trodden path. Those days I hurt more than usual for those I love. I wish I could help them shed away their pain or that I could make them realize somehow that life doesn't Need to be as complicated as they tend to make it or for that matter, imagine it !

No, all pain is not self created and I don't mean to demean any one's suffering. But some of it at least can be left behind or better still, completely avoided when one just chooses to drift in a different direction and move onto bluer, brighter skies ...



Isn't it time we took charge of our life, our heart, our head, our feelings and thus our actions and the subsequent consequences ??

I know , I know .... Easier said than done, right ????










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29 Spin Offs:

On July 3, 2009 at 1:29 AM , Archana said...

I love, love, love this post! :) I agree with so many of the differences you listed - - very well thought out, btw. I can not tell you the number of times I wish people knew the difference between compromise & sacrifice, or being friendly & being flirty! Eeks, I could go on and on about this list, heh.

 
On July 3, 2009 at 2:02 AM , Keshi said...

A very good post! So positive and encouraging. I loved it.

**If you're miserable, the simple thing is to try to not be miserable. Idealistic ??! Probably ! Realistic ??! I believe so

I agree totally. It's easier said than done but alot of ppl who nag and whine make me sick! Whinging wont take u anywhere. I hv enough on my plate too and I can brood for days n days if I WANT to. But I choose to be happy somehow. Cos worrying and being grumpy for too long will only make it worse.


There's a choice we can make, in every situation in life. We can fight our demons with a smile or with a tear. I choose the smile. Cos it makes me positive and gives me strength.


WOW I love the last bit of this post so very much! Did u write them?


**Letting go Is Different From Losing

very true!


**Venting Is Different From Whining

Well-said!


**Being Sad Is Different From Being Melodramatic

agree totally!


I'd like to add:

Being forthright is different from being offensive.


Keshi.

 
On July 3, 2009 at 2:29 AM , Shruti Mukundan said...

girl! where hav u cum from? i mean i was over whelmed with this post of urs.. felt like u r answering my questions... kinda disturbed these days... got my answers in this post. yeah we tend to make life complicated... searching questions.. searching answers.. expecting things... err.. each step on the fine line is a complication... we loose cool in the process.. gain advices, gain friends... gain ppl who care... at-times feel lucky... at-times feels miserable... but then the 'Grey' shade sure is fun.. if everything goes good, then mayb the poor brain wont get any occupation :)

loved this post of urs!! amazing way u have put up things... explaining the differences b/w so 'similar' sounding words.. perception.. thats the word!

tru easier said than done but as u said, who-so-ever said it would have done it, so y cant we..!!!

p.s. can u send me ur email id?? wanna send an award to u :)

 
On July 3, 2009 at 3:18 AM , Stillness Speaks said...

I certainly identity with this post. Specially Yet some days, I find myself wishing I had someone who'd guided me kindly, to the trodden path. . Me too, me too! So wanted to hug you for this :-)

We all learn by experiences. Either someone else's or from our own. At times we have to feel it. If someone were to tell us not to touch a vessel because it is hot, we won't. But only when we accidentally brush against it do we know what hot is. At times I think a practical is very important to go with the theory :-)

Don't ask me the logic behind this. Just my conclusion!

 
On July 3, 2009 at 8:10 AM , Baljinder Singh said...

Hey..I also have the similar thoughts. One is solely responsible 4 all what happens in his life.

Most of the people get satisfied with whatever they possess but some don't and they trigger their inherent abilities to lead them to a successful path.

All in all, everything existing in the universe is a fruit of chance and necessity.

U have very well described the differences of feelings in words..gr8 work yaar...:P

 
On July 3, 2009 at 11:08 AM , Kunjal said...

A very well written post :)
Yes most of the time life is not black and white but grey:)

 
On July 3, 2009 at 11:53 AM , Netika Lumb said...

this is a great post..
Especially the lines you wrote.They are just so beautiful I am planning to copy them in a word doc.. They are brilliant..really :)

 
On July 3, 2009 at 1:44 PM , Tasneem N. said...

Love the post, adisha.To the point and definitely a reality check.
You don't know how much happy and satisfied I am after reading this post!

 
On July 3, 2009 at 3:51 PM , angel from heaven said...

"Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. "

Maybe this is crossing the line but life is for living. sometimes you have to step over the line to discover new experiences .Maybe your experience will be negative but its worth the risk as you have learnt something new.On the otherhand may be the experience is postive and you will be thnakful you crossed the line.
Life is about balance, you need the rough with the smooth.

 
On July 4, 2009 at 3:05 AM , angelanju said...

Really good post.Your blogs are always so interesting and full of words of wisdom

 
On July 5, 2009 at 12:34 AM , ani_aset said...

First things first,WOW :). I am amazed by the comparisons you listed there.

People want to stay in gray areas, because - no one wants to take responsibility for their actions.People are afraid to commmit, so they will say "90% confirmed, or 95% its correct but please check". For all who are working, "COVER YOUR ASS" is the golden rule.

Staying in the whites is not as difficult, as it seems. Point is how many of us want to be guided by HIM. If only we could listen to our hearts, hear HIM, and go about doing the deeds without having any expectations.

I'm sorry for so much gyan, your post made me think quit a lot. This topic in itself is quiet close to the way i live life :)

 
On July 5, 2009 at 12:39 AM , ani_aset said...

Blog rolled :D

 
On July 5, 2009 at 1:35 AM , The Survivor said...

Did I ghost write it? :)

Very True, when one takes charge of their own lives, they have nobody to blame.

 
On July 6, 2009 at 1:24 AM , sajith viswam said...

Yes.. true...Easier said than.. done!!!
Gem of writing..
Cheers

 
On July 7, 2009 at 12:41 PM , Adisha said...

@ Archana : Thanks dear . Yeah, there are so many other this and thats I thought of after I finished the post... People have stopped listening to common sense and conscience ...

 
On July 7, 2009 at 12:41 PM , Adisha said...

@ Keshi : Glad you liked it :) I wonder why people aren't willing to pull up their boot straps and take responsibility for the choices they make. Weather you cry or laugh, atleast face you problems head on ... accepting that you have Some hand in it ...

The forthright and offensive I'd included in rude / frank :) but well said.

 
On July 7, 2009 at 12:41 PM , Adisha said...

@ Shruti : :D Your compliments always make my day. Glad you felt you were getting some answers somehow ...

That's what i'm talking about perception ... and it is NOT easier said than done...

Left my email on ur blog.

 
On July 7, 2009 at 12:42 PM , Adisha said...

@ Stillness - Consider yourself hugged. :) I think most of what I write relates to somone or the other ... If only those who learn, would teach / guide those of us lost ... maybe things would be different ... But then the greys are so tempting that we cannot resist the desire to go forth and explore and then when we get burnt, well, ... we're left with scars untold ... you're perfectly right in ur conclusion .. logic or not !

 
On July 7, 2009 at 12:42 PM , Adisha said...

@ Baljinder - Thanks, i'm glad you agree to some extent ... Thought I'm not sure how it relates ... but I get the gist !! :D

 
On July 7, 2009 at 12:42 PM , Adisha said...

@ Kunjal - Thank you ...

 
On July 7, 2009 at 12:42 PM , Adisha said...

@ Netika - Appreciate your appreciation. :) Glad you feel they are worth remembering forever ...

 
On July 7, 2009 at 12:43 PM , Adisha said...

@ Tasneem - So many of us need a jolt of reality. I'm glad it gave you the feelign of contentment.

 
On July 7, 2009 at 12:43 PM , Adisha said...

@ Angel - You are so absolutely right. Your counter view equally balances out what I've written ... showing exactly WHY people enjoy exploring in the gray areas of life !! That is the mystical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow ... The new experience, the thrill of the risk ... the hope that the future will be positive , but more often than not it's Not so ... we end up lost and hurt !! Unfortunately ...

 
On July 7, 2009 at 12:43 PM , Adisha said...

@ Angelanju - thank you so much for visiting and leaving behind your thought ... Wasn't aware you had been visiting ...

 
On July 7, 2009 at 12:43 PM , Adisha said...

@ Ani_aset - Thank you . It's so very true, what u've said... people prefer staying in the gray areas coz it's easier and tempts us ...

Exactly. Being right, following our conscience isn't as hard as peole may think .There;s always the right or wrong or the neither way, by which you may not be right, but also not wrong. With each action, we need to consider All the consequences, not just the ones that suit us.

I'm glad for all the gyan ... It's always refreshing to hear other points of view ...

Thanks for blog rolling me ...

 
On July 7, 2009 at 12:43 PM , Adisha said...

@ Survivor - Heehehehe. Maybe ... Exactly, if only we'd stop letting others control our destiny.

@ Sajith - Appreciate it !!

 
On July 8, 2009 at 2:28 AM , Siva said...

I have had to read this post for the second time to understand well, really loved it. I think you have all the qualities of being a spiritual guru :)

"Love Is Different From Friendship
Low priority Is Different From Indifference
Living life to the fullest Is Different From Going through the motions
Compromise Is Different From Sacrifice
Loving Is Different From Caring
Letting go Is Different From Losing
Frankness Is Different From Rudeness
Reminding Is Different From Pestering
Scolding Is Different From Berating
Having principals Is Different From Being Stubborn
Inquisitive Is Different From Nosey
Understanding Is Different From Being a push over
Keeping quite Is Different From Accepting Fault
Being friendly Is Different From Flirting
Maintaining Distance Is Different From Being Aloof
Venting Is Different From Whining
Being Sad Is Different From Being Melodramatic
Resolving Issues Is Different From Playing the Blame Game
Having an Opinion Is Different From Judging
Genuine Advice Is Different From Coaxing
Drawing Conclusions Is Different From Making Assumptions
Diplomacy Is Different From Choosing a Side"

I wish i read this once everyday all my life. Thanks.

 
On July 8, 2009 at 10:30 AM , Adisha said...

@ Siva - You've really made my day. If you've felt even .000001 % truth and change in urself , it's wonderful ... :) Hope you'll keep visiting...

 
On July 23, 2009 at 8:49 PM , Priya said...

Awesome post here.