Author: Adisha
•Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I'm in the dumps. Not literally !! Need a change, don't know what. Maybe I just need to help myself. I feel like something's missing even though I know I'm perfectly happy. Is that even possible ?

The other day i was watching Nat Geo and this scientist was talking about Sting Ray. For those who don't know it's a type of fish that looks like THIS . His team had the humongous thing in a kiddie swimming pool and they kept putting it up on a scale to measure it. They had tied it's stingers and kept pushing and pulling it and my temper kept going up. Then they cut it open and inserted a camera so that they can monitor it's movements. I felt so bad for the poor thing. What of It's privacy ? What is it with people ? How much do we Really need to know ? Isn't it enough that we are all over the earth that we are going into the seas and forests etc. Besides, that how would we feel if Fish got out of the water and started man handling us to check our weight and our eating habits ? I don't know. It just seems wrong. No , I'm not a vegetarian. But I say if you're going to use something for food, kill it quick and let it serve it's purpose so to speak. Be merciful . Don't irritate poor animals just to figure out what's happening in places where you aren't supposed to anyway.

I just keep getting surprised by people all the time. These days I find myself becoming an idealist and thus highly emotional when I'm dissappointed , which is again often.

Things are so wrong everywhere ! I sit among people who talk about the wrongness of diversification based on religion, caste, languages and then laugh about the tendencies of South Indians or Gujratis or Arabs. We all do it. Most of us keep our minds open when we meet new people despite of it, and yet there are people out there who are close minded to Everything.

Have you noticed all of a sudden saris, curries and Bollywood are the new flavor of the world ? Nothing wrong with that, but all the information is warped. People make assumptions, confusing all the different cultures in India. When my husband and I ate non veg, we had people expressing EXTREME surprise since they thought ALL Indians were veg. Why is it only in India we learn about all cultures, all over the world ? Is it because most of us dream of going abroad so we prepare ourselves mentally before hand ? Why doesn't the world know about Our cultures ?

Why is it that friendship is so hard ? Why is out of sight automatically out of mind ? People you think you cared so much about are no where to be seen . They can't be bothered to keep in touch or send a mail ? Or even read a mail you've sent to them. Pointing fingers is the name of the game when you express the effect their absence has on you. Oh ! They Say they care but Do nothing to show it ? Then there are those who just know how to take. Except when they need you or know that they'll be needing you soon. Those times they are all over you , fawning like there;s no tomorrow. And most of the time we fall for it.

Whatever happened to common courtesies and manners ? Saying thankyou ? Returning phone calls ? Being sorry when you hurt someone ? Not chewing gum when you are on stage or in an interview ? Letting another finish what they are saying ? Keeping your voice down when you talk on the phone ? Saying hello when someone smiles at you ?

I might be becoming an idealist but atleast one can try right ? I wonder why I talk about all of this. Maybe it's coz when I was troubled there was rarely ever anyone to guide me. I had friends who held my hand but no one ever told me the right from wrong or just plain how people or life is !! I figured things out feeling things, often falling hard along the way. And I hope and pray that there is someone out there who can be helped . Not everyone has to have walk a road to know it leads to the end of a cliff right ??
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34 Spin Offs:

On July 15, 2009 at 1:21 PM , Tasneem N. said...

girl, u don't know but u have been my inspiration most of the times if not everytime,since I've started reading ur blog. this is what i keep writing on my blog and u keep giving me advices. i can't do that to you, just hope that you bounce back.
Keep smiling :)

 
On July 15, 2009 at 10:36 PM , Archana said...

You've questioned all the right things Adisha! There's so much about this world that is just confusing. Though as of late, I've been bothered mostly by the question of where did common courtesy/common sense go?

And then it dawned on me, that common sense is actually uncommon. It's a rarity to find someone with 'common sense'.

 
On July 16, 2009 at 3:26 AM , Siva said...

ah... it seems you miss something really bad :) There is nothing wrong in laugh about someone if you know there is someone laughing at you too :) The best of learning comes from experiance rather from guidance. So don't worry. Just be good and happy.

 
On July 16, 2009 at 5:14 AM , Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Well, to be perfectly happy, its possible if and only if its your mind that decides... possible...

That fish is so cute. I find nothing new in what they did. It Happens all the time. For few its a knowing about the world, and for few its fun to do all this..We are super-human beings, i think thats why they torture and dominate the other species...

This month i have been getttign very surprised by the behaviour of many poeple, specially racism. My recent posts are shouting, saying the same.

Life 's funda is simple yaar. live and let live. Why hurt others and blame when others do it to you? i dont understand..

Culture?? dont talk about it. They might arrest you saying you are uncultured and all. I am really pissed off with the non-sense talk of everyone around on such things..
Relationships are always hard my dear. Its more about sticking together rather than to be happy in it.

I may go on like this ...so stopping it right here.
To cut in short, it happens with me too. Just cant help it.

Cheers
Mahesh

 
On July 16, 2009 at 7:30 AM , angel from heaven said...

Adisha I read a lot of frustration in your post, Sometimes things are beyond our powers we can't force friendships nor can we change the way people behave .We cant change the world around us or the people who live in it.But we can choose not to support the misdeeds, we can choose the way we do things and we can choose our friends.

If friends/relationships are true and they really care they will keep in touch those who pretend to stretch their hand out in friendship just for the sake of it are not worth the bother, inspite of this if you really want to remain friends with them then you should have no expectations of them.
There is no pleasure in forced relationships.
Cheer up and keep smiling.

 
On July 16, 2009 at 7:57 AM , The Survivor said...

That's how scientific research is defined.

The world has become too informal and people take each other granted.


I think the only thing that matters today is how true is one to themselves, expecting others to understand is a passe!!

 
On July 16, 2009 at 10:56 AM , ani_aset said...

hey don't get so frustrated :)..all i will say is, it will be better if we let nature take its own course and not fiddle with it much

 
On July 16, 2009 at 2:04 PM , rebecca said...

I can understand quite well where you are coming from because often - quite often - I ask myself the same things. There is nothing wrong with being an idealist, or having respect and empathy for all living things, or with learning about other cultures other than your own, or expressing such a simple thing like proper manners and all of the other things you stated. All very well articulated and given as good fodder for one to think.

I am new to your blog and I will continue perusing through more of your posts...I've a feeling that all of your posts will be just as inspiring.

Keep questioning and keep growing...

Best,
Rebecca

 
On July 16, 2009 at 3:48 PM , Adisha said...

@ Tasneem - Thank you dear. I think we inspire each other :)

 
On July 16, 2009 at 3:50 PM , Adisha said...

@ Archana - Well, questioning isn't enough. Sometimes it feels like Nothing is ever going to be right . Don't even ask about manners, people seem to have tossed it off to the dogs !! Each one on his own ... making their own rules along the way ...

It's not the absence of common sense, more the presence of indifference to that which isn't important to you, sadly !

 
On July 16, 2009 at 3:51 PM , Adisha said...

@ Siva - Yeah, I miss all that's missing... I totally agree. Most of life's lessons are to be learnt be experience but once in a while it would have been nice to be saved the heart ache :)

 
On July 16, 2009 at 3:59 PM , Adisha said...

@ Mahesh - Thank you so much for your support :) I'm happy in the bigger sense of the word, but these days, lack something elusive .. Sigh !!

Exactly! Humans above all the rest. When Did that happen ??

Will come by all the posts that u've mentioned, but people are so stuipd sometimes, can't be helped ! I have no idea why people can't just let be ..

Relationships... Sigh !! Most of the times, just a mess ... leaving you with a sense of loss for it's not hwo you'd like , even the littlest expectations getting crushed ...

It's fine. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your comment . Thank u again .

 
On July 16, 2009 at 3:59 PM , Adisha said...

@ Angel - Yeah, it's all our choice in the end. But sometimes, one doesn't have much of a choice. It's either a rock or a hard place, both of which leave you feeling lost !

I don't think people who don't care lose touch .Sometimes, it's just that other things take priority and they take you for granted coz they KNOW how much you matter to them. Yet there are times when a person would like to know that they are missed and the littlest expectations are lost in the sea of life !! Unfortunately, in life many relationships are forced dear, that's what upsets me. I miss that which I used to have once upon a time ...and is not just a bucket of memories ...

 
On July 16, 2009 at 4:02 PM , Adisha said...

@ Survivor - I'm not against research but Damn , do we Have to irritate the voice less creature ?? Tie it's fangs up and push it here and there , as per your desires ... It was irritating even to look at ...

Exactly, expecting anyone else to understand anything is just passe !!Feels so helpless ...

 
On July 16, 2009 at 4:03 PM , Adisha said...

@ ani_aset - Yeah well, nature seems to be takign a wanton course these days ...

 
On July 16, 2009 at 4:05 PM , Adisha said...

@ rebecca - Thanks for visiting my blog Rebecca. Sorry you caught me at in an agitated phase :)) Please peruse through the other ones and let me know what you think ...

I feel Most of us are in the similar boats , it's just we are all in different worm holes trying to connect to one another.

Hoping to see more of you here ...

 
On July 17, 2009 at 2:48 AM , Stillness Speaks said...

Missing home? How about a quick trip to India? I agree with you about cruelty to animals, which is why I'm not a big fan of the Discovery and National Geographic Channels. Now how does it benefit mankind to know what an ape is thinking after he's had a banana and how he intends to spend his day!

Well said my friend. Here we are curious about everything outside our country- their culture, their cuisine, and there they are, who don't even know where on the world's map is India. Well!

Out of sight is out of mind for people who never thought of you as you thought of them. Who never considered you as important as you considered them. In the course of time, people do get busy, get married, whatever, but there is always time for friends. I would like to believe that! This isn't what friendship is all about you know. This is more like putting up with each other for mutual help and parting ways when the objective is met ( Am I making sense??)

What you're going through at the moment, happens to all of us at different points in time. There are times when you are on top of the world, and the next moment for no rhyme or reason, you're down in the dumps. Talk to all those who matter and get it out of your system. And if noone else, we're here to listen and shall be with you right through :)

Wishing you lots of smiles and happiness :)

 
On July 17, 2009 at 8:28 AM , Baljinder Singh said...

Well...It happens when you see/feel terribly wrong things. Obviously, for little benefits, one shouldn't hurt any other creature. People do that..I am surprised!!!

Simple courtesies and commonsense....
These are the possessions that makes person a human.

If I would have seen that part at Nat Geo, I would have also been agitated as you were. I am happy you felt that way. Otherwise, most people just ignore that by changing the channel to a music channel and enjoy....

Nice issue you had raised...
n ya Be Happy always..:)

 
On July 17, 2009 at 10:52 AM , theantisensestrand said...

wow! some really really serious questions there! You know what bothers me, is that Idealism has become a kind off stigma these days. You can never be a total idealist but still you can try to reach closest to it, but then people and circumstances around you make you feel as if you are doing something wrong in being one!

 
On July 18, 2009 at 1:30 AM , Kokonad said...

Adisha... you need a few good movies to watch. I will recommend a few if you want! :)
Humanity's still got a lot of good left in itself. Some days you see it, some days you don't. But it's there. You have to trust it. :)

 
On July 18, 2009 at 10:18 AM , Pesto Sauce said...

All Indians are veg...Maneka Gandhi's utimate dream

 
On July 19, 2009 at 9:34 AM , Appy said...

You know, you are right. It is very disconcerting but all those things you mentioned are true, but for your own peace of mind, you have to find alternates... only for your own sake :)
Nice post again,
Aparna

 
On July 19, 2009 at 10:50 PM , Keshi said...

A very positive and encouraging post Adisha. I loved it.

**I figured things out feeling things, often falling hard along the way.

me too. ur a self-made person just like me. more than ppl, I depend on my feelings and instincts to guide me along life. I hv become totally 'independent' and Im happy abt that.

:) HUGS!


Keshi.

 
On July 20, 2009 at 7:20 AM , swati said...

im here fr the very first time..n let me tell u tat i simply loved the sincereity of ur post.

keeping it short i'll jus say tat be true to urself..u may have hundreds of frenz in ur life..each one wid diffrnt opinion bt at the end of the day its our ownslf who matters..we cant influence othrz by saying anythng we can only guide them..

Take care!!
Goodday!

 
On July 20, 2009 at 2:28 PM , The Survivor said...

You got tagged, check it on my blog

 
On July 21, 2009 at 2:03 AM , Shruti Mukundan said...

hey adisha.. meeting u after quite a long time! u know wat, i always noticed u saying u missed a guide in ur life n i feel ur secret ambition is to guide all those in trouble.. kudos to that! i need to more than anyone else always :)

as far as wat all u said.. i completly agree... getting idealistic, well yeah nothing is perfect but as u said, we can try! couldnt agree less to all that u said. just a few days back i had a get-together with my good old school friends. now what happened was though most of them did turned up quite hefty defty posing as thought they r the president of America who couldnt spare a sec from the busy schedule n was kinda expecting an acknowledgment for the time they took out for their old buddies.. it was disgusting! but then i didnt quite say anything much though i could have given them a good long lecture. at times there is no value for such words... they say, if the audience is not literate, English will b french. i just followed that. but the best thing abt blogger world is, here, ppl understand. u get ppl of ur frequency... who can understand.. appreciate. n am one for u. i love ur blogs!!! :)

 
On July 21, 2009 at 3:05 AM , Hatikvah said...

I'm surprised no one talked about that much misinterpreted word - "Detachment". At times like these, once we are sure we have given matters our best shot, detachments seriously helps us accept the outcome, for then we know that the fun was in the process and not in the result. E.g. it teaches us to not expect replies from our friends but to be happy about the fact that we've mailed/called 'em; (I know it sounds like loadsa gyaan, but it seriously helped me, considering I'd similar musings...)

 
On July 21, 2009 at 5:44 AM , JR's Thumbprints said...

Hey, try working in a prison where every convict seems to be an expert on telling you how to do your job. They're never happy, never satisfied, and make a game out of trying to get you fired. Eighteen years of it, and I get a little tired at times. Hang in there, Adisha.

 
On July 21, 2009 at 6:10 AM , Alishah said...

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On July 21, 2009 at 6:16 AM , Chriz said...

good pointers for life :)

 
On July 22, 2009 at 2:05 AM , santasizing...Fantasizing said...

uhmmmm...those didnt seem like rants somehow..
all of it is so true..i come across this stuff in my everyday life..
or i guess i have learnt to live with it,,,
problemo:)

 
On July 22, 2009 at 2:48 PM , sajith viswam said...

Yo always pop up with some unique piece... I felt lot of pain in ths post.. donno y my heart beating so fast after reading this..
vey much frustrated huh?
All I can say is.. believe in the goodness of ppll....
Btw did u misd the subject of RACISM happening in Australiaa... :)
Could hav asked a few questions on tat too...

cheers & keep bloggin...

 
On July 23, 2009 at 2:52 AM , allifeel said...

There are so many things, which we do which we ought not, it was great looking at ur article. The best part is that u have noticed about the sting ray and mentioned how the movements are watched as many are unaware that such pains the fish undergoes for it o transmit some videos. great going. Just have a look at mine too. If u like it send my link to frens too

www.allifeel.wordpress.com

 
On July 23, 2009 at 5:49 AM , Talking To My Soul said...

There is nothing called perfect happiness, Adisha. And no one is perfectly happy. We tell ourselves that we are. But we aint.

Happiness is like a butterfly.


How have you been?

*cheers*