Author: Adisha
•Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Left a comment on Dame's post recently. It was a humorous take on the different kinds of love a boy and girl would share. In the comment I said " Love is just another emotion ". And I once again got to thinking about how love is so over rated. Poor Love ! So many expectations from so small a word.

Love, like life, death, work, worship, afterlife is a never ending topic. And most of us are after the ideal definition trying to make out what the hell it's actually about ? When you see people around you and have experiences that make you question humanity in people, gets you to wondering if anyone even knows what love actually feels like. Yeah, sure we throw around " I love you"s to people we feel strongly for, but what about " true love" ? The eternal, romantic, movie magic kind that makes you weak in the knees, the kind you'd die for. And if we say I love you to someone one moment, where does that so called love disappear some days, months, or years down the line ?

Anger, happiness, joy, jealousy, sorrow, hatred, passion are all emotions. I figure, with love being an emotion as well, why is there so much pressure on it to go on forever. It too comes intensely and may go away after some time. The problem Might be that people confuse love with the search of their " perfect someone " and those are two totally different entities.

Love can be of different kinds, with different people, having different shades, but when you find your perfect someone. Someone whose compatible, rather complimentary to your basic nature and mix in the Right amounts of understanding, respect, caring, friendship, devotion, and loyalty is when " True Love" starts emerging ... something that will last forever.

And when one is lucky to find such a love, everything becomes easy. For nothing is a burden when done for the ones you love. Everything just kind of flows, and even the happiness one feels is like a glow from within. But don't mistake me, it still, always needs to be worked that. The trick I guess is to always remember that all you have may disappear at any moment. If you know that you would be nothing, if you lost what you had now, you'd cherish it with that much more passion. Every day, every moment, with your heart, with your soul.

Still it's important to know when to let go of something when it's not working for you. Too much, or too little and it's just not right, is it ?! Every ingredient needs to be just right when you want to create perfection.

Recently, I've had a few friends not doing so well, in relations and in marriage. It tears at my heart, what people do each other, in a relation, granted in different ways. Why do people just expect everything to be JUST the way they want it without putting in Their own 100 %. In today's day and age, when one has time to get to know their respective spouses, why does one still choose to go in blindly, thinking " Oh ! It'll probably change later ?? " Hello !!!! It doesn't change. Nothing changes. If you can't deal with something now, chances are 5 years down the line, with work , and other responsibilities those same things will be impossible to deal with.
Then there's my favorite. " I could have / will do better " ( in ref, to their current, spouse, lover, partner ) What in the world kind of thinking is that ???? You will do better, but is this like an exchange offer ?? Do people KNOW the meaning of commitment ?? Why commit if you weren't sure in the first place ?? Loyalty is a thing of yesterday. "It's not working for me, let me find solace with another - emotional , physical , whatever. " People !!!! If it's not working for you, it's not working for both of you, cut your losses and move on. Don't cheat, in whatever small way. That's so uncool! Relations, any for that matter, marriages, kids , need work !! So WORK at it. Don't' crib about it. And DON"T compare it to someone Else's. Believe it or not, each relationship is unique. Oh !! These may Seem like ramblings of things Everyone knows about. But when I look around me, there's so little of common sense I see, it sucks !!! So many wrongs, I could go on and on ! People think they are better than one another, taking each other for granted, talking rudely to each other, the silence, the pain, the punishments, the nagging, the superior attitude, the inferiority complex, the sarcasm, the indifference, the disrespect, the tears, the drama. And all for what ?? How does Any of the above help a relationship ? Why don't people just concentrate on matters that would Actually make a difference 5 years down the line ? If it's a deal breaker then work on it. If not, then keep at it. Why do people give up on working on their so easily ? Oh ! I could go on and on, but I guess this is getting to be like a judgmental rampage. Forgive me guys. It's just me, feeling angry at the recklessness that people show to commitments / people.

I guess, what I want to say is wake up - smell the flowers, look at them, touch them, feel them and above all nurture them. For the love that you have this moment is the only there forever, IF you decorate it with all the other emotions you have within you ...
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14 Spin Offs:

On April 28, 2009 at 8:28 PM , Keshi said...

LOVEly post Adisha! :)

**So WORK at it. Don't' crib about it. And DON"T compare it to someone Else's.

So true! I wish more ppl realise this. I cant stand whingers who dun lift a finger to DO something but constantly whine and feel sorry for themselves. Love dun come to such ppl anyways!


On April 28, 2009 at 11:07 PM , Hemanth Potluri said...

LOVE wat a topic to never ends..

after reading the whole post i just remembered one quote which i read long back

“If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

and yes i would like u to read a short story of love i wrote on my blog on valentines day is the link :P..


On April 29, 2009 at 12:57 AM , dreamy said...

I had asked someone once if they ever felt their faith in love wavering..this was the response i got :)

Love is constant
It is within
We confuse it with our feelings for another person
That is not love
It cud be affection, lust, pity, companionship, sympathy whatever
We feel it inside us when someone is a catalyst
But it is still something we feel inside us na?
So keep it with you
Irrespective of whether another person is there or not

On April 29, 2009 at 1:23 AM , Chriz said...

Love is like a dice.. sometimes you get a 6 and sometimes you get a 1

On April 29, 2009 at 2:41 AM , dreamy said...

here is another thought :)

On April 29, 2009 at 4:58 AM , Appy said...

This was a wonderful read, could sense it came from your heart.
True love IS fading away, sadly, and its a lot more difficult to find someone who wants the same things as you do. But if one does, one should hold on to it tightly, never let it go. Yes, the initial passion might go away sometime down the line, but it manifests itself in the form of care, trust, understanding which in some ways is even more difficult to find than love itself.


On April 29, 2009 at 5:05 AM , Swapnil said...

hmmm .... unconditional love does exist ... i have seen it ... :)

On April 29, 2009 at 7:29 AM , Kunjal said...

yes enjoying the present moments to the best is what we can do :)

On April 30, 2009 at 12:40 PM , C R D said...

Lovely Post Adisha :)

Whatever You've written is so damn true. If everyone had to follow these diligently, couples would've been a lot more happier

Unfortunately all humans are very different and complex, and perfection is not our forte


On May 1, 2009 at 2:17 PM , Aparna said...

judgemental rampage??

not at all

i loved your take

keep writing ~

Keep ranting ~

On May 2, 2009 at 5:23 AM , AJAY said...

(You will do better, but is this like an exchange offer ?? )

Yes, indeed. The fact that you love someone more than others, consciously or subconsciously tells your heart, mind or soul whatever that she/he is the one that can give me maximum return.

True love, therefore is the lowest form of exchange.

On May 2, 2009 at 5:31 AM , AJAY said...

(You will do better, but is this like an exchange offer ?? )

Yes, indeed. When one says 'I Love You' means he loves him/her more than the others. Consciuosly or subconsciously he knows the one he loves is the one who would give him maximum return.

On May 2, 2009 at 5:37 AM , AJAY said...

'Love is our response to our highest values.' Ayn Rand

The moment I read it I believed it really is. So fell in love with my highest value. Only to realise it was the cheapest bargain ever on my part as well as on her part.

Whether we take it or not-it is an exchange- 'sometimes fair most of the time nightmare.'

On May 3, 2009 at 11:30 AM , Cursed♪♫ said...

I loved your last paragraph. Speaks a lot :)
I have my results tomorrow :(
Talk to you later! Bye Dd!