Kaleidoscopic Visions

i'M moVing !!

2011-08-24T09:16:00.001-04:00

Hey all ,

I'm moving to - http://aditi.ws/outlook so please update my address link in your list.

This site is going to be compilation of all my blogs. I'm hoping to be able to be a little more streamlined and updated in this one. Hoping to hear more from you all.

Please keep visiting and share your views.

Tangles

2011-07-23T20:08:00.000-04:00

So, I'm a stay at home mom, living in the US of A, taking care of the a little tyke whose as much of a handful as he is JOY !!

That's my life these days. Making decisions every two minutes that are concerned with where he goes, what he does, what he eats and his sleep. I don't know what I'm doing most of the time as I try every single piece of advice I get off friends and the Internet hoping it's the right thing to do.

I look back at the years when DRAMA was the name of the game. I lived life on my terms while feeling suffocated at every step. And that someone was usually a person I cared for deeply. I used to pray that one fine day a ray of understanding would shine down and everything would just untangle by itself.

If I compare the two lives, I'd pick my life today in a snap but that doesn't mean I'm not thankful for the experiences I picked up along the way.

Do I wish some of the knots would just disappear? Most definitely. Do I wish I could bang some others into oblivion? Absolutely. But then if I would have known better at that time, that would be I was an all knowing being at a very young age.

And in any case, time did pass and the threads untangled eventually and now I use the same threads to weave patterns that are simply exquisite.

One's Own Road

2011-07-20T10:40:00.000-04:00

Needless to say, I talk a lot about my son. Sometimes non stop even. Everything he does. The good, the bad and the ugly even. But I notice the when I talk to a generation older than us, they immediately start pointing out how naughty We were at our age. How it's important to enjoy each and every moment of the baby.

What I don't understand is how they forget all the trials and tribulations that one goes through while raising one so little. I guess it's time that makes one forget the pain they've gone through.

It's not that one doesn't love their child when they talk about their naughtiness and their antics. The love of a mother and what she does far surpasses anything she says. Everything she says reflects the adoration she feels for her infant. She revels in the glory of the good, bad and the ugly for it's all a part of her.

Besides, only one who walks on a road is in a position to observe the crevices, potholes and milestones on it.

Etiquette Shmetiquette

2011-07-06T16:32:00.000-04:00

So IIT Delhi is going to giving out a course on etiquette. High time I say. Not just in India but all over the world, pleases and thankyous and all that's in between seems to be fazing out like the cat in Alice in Wonderland.

I'm all for informality but it's these little things that make any relationship, even with strangers worth living. For that is when the other person knows you are willing to take that little bit of extra effort to make them feel that they are valued and respected.

Whenever I notice people committing a transgression by not following proper etiquette, I feel like shaking some sense into them. It may not be a big deal for them but for me, it's like something as essential as breathing is being ignored. I'm often left wondering why or how it is that they can just miss them.

Some of these gems that I see fading and miss are -

Greeting someone at the door.
Acknowledging presents.
Responding to email/phone call/ facebook msgs.
Opening the door for people behind you.
Saying thank you when someone does so.
Atleast offering to split the check.
Not making sounds when eating.
Not texting when someone is talking.
Talking softly on the phone.

to name a few.

Which of life's little social graces do you miss or love ?

Learning wisdom

2011-05-28T22:04:00.002-04:00

Read this quote today on someone's Facebook page.

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: first by reflection,which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest;and third, by experience, which is the most bitter. "

While there is some truth in the above, what my experiences have taught me is the bitterness turns sweet when the wisdom emerges.

Imitation literally doesn't teach wisdom. That infact is the easiest way to take credit for wisdom that is not yours. It's easily forgotten by the imitator; for the effort was never theirs' to begin with.

Reflection in fact is the hardest ( don't know bout noblest ) for or requires constant introspection of each action, thought and event.

Would love to hear more opinions on the same.

Not just one

2011-05-19T21:40:00.000-04:00

A woman has so many facets - daughter, friend, wife, daughter in law and most importantly mother. And we try to be all these things and more every single day. Juggling things like going shopping with phone calls and chores and making time for parents on web chats and taking care of our kids. All this while functioning on the bare amount of sleep a human can function on.

Everyone talks about the baby, it's needs and what's best for it. What is not discussed is if we are not careful, we can end up forgetting all about ourselves and become just a mother.

It is very easy to leave behind hobbies, friends and our basic selves to concentrate only on putting one step in front of the other as we count the milestones in our family. The miracle of motherhood with it's magic brings the danger of falling into a stupor brought on by routines.

Being a woman is not just a about that. Sometimes, it's okay to say no. It's okay to say I've had enough. It's okay to take time off from the scheduled minutes. Why is it that the moment we try to think about ourselves, it's associated with this tug at our hearts from guilt of saying no? It's important to find a way to be ourselves. To feed our souls with more than just the happiness that comes from the smiles of our loved ones.

Because once in a while when we look in the mirror, whether we admit it or not it's wonderful seeing a beautiful person whose got a big smile on her own face for a reason other than just having been a great daughter, friend, wife or mother !

Second Language

2011-03-30T20:16:00.002-04:00

I'm sure you all have noticed. The minute two or more people speaking the same language get together, you cannot get them to stop talking in their own lingo.

I used to HATE that. It's one of the things that used to get on my nerves, specially since I'm fluent only in Hindi and English. Sour grapes I suppose. I couldn't understand why people wouldn't have the consideration for another who isn't of their language.

Lately, I find myself guilty of the same. Being a mother is like instantly gaining knowledge of a new language. A language known to all those who have kids. The minute more than one mother come together, all we seem to be able to discuss is babies. Babies, delivery, labor, pregnancy. We might be talking about Japan and it's disaster and it ends up to how many hours the baby sleeps each day.

Here I am not being able to keep my tongue from wagging on and on about motherhood, even though I know in my head and heart it's rude to the person whose not even pregnant yet. Recently, I had someone lament about it and from now on I'll TRY very hard to keep a check on it but I have to confess, I think I understand why people cannot stop conversing in a different language when they find a comrade. It's just something they cannot help. Sad, but true !!

Mommy syndrome

2011-02-23T14:12:00.005-05:00

I'm a mommy now and boy is it exhausting !! The sleepless nights, the frequent feedings, the incessant crying, the random walks holding the baby causing my arms to ache. The pleasures though are innumerable. Each smile the baby gives me when he looks at me early morning or after feedings or when I enter the room - Precious !!I'd to anything for that smile.

Yet when my mom comes into town to help, I turn into a pampered child. Knowing fully, all my mom wants to do is make life easier for me. To let me sleep as much as possible, feed me all that I love to hog on, make sure my aches and pains are to a minimum. When I cry, she cries. When I laugh looking at my kid, she smiles with pride.

It's a circle of love. I see it in everyone around me. The minute the question of mothers come, there's a collective sigh and a sense of being able to be yourself and do Anything that is truly free in any sense. You know you won't be judged for any action and this is one person who would do anything for your comfort when you are in pain, of any kind.

Today, I know that I would do anything and I mean anything for the smile on my baby's face.

This is the mommy syndrome I guess. When anyone's mommy is close the person is bound to turn into a baby all over again. :-)

Me - Mommy !

2011-01-28T19:04:00.000-05:00

So, am finally a mommy. Me - a mother with a son !! Have entered the fascinating, exhausting, loving world of motherhood and what a journey it's turning out to be.

From the pain of delivery to the hourly feedings, changing diapers, roaming around the room with the baby to get a single burp out to playing with the baby and looking on incredulously as the little bundle of joy grows in front of our eyes. Ten fingers, ten toes and the precious smile make one believe in the power of a higher being. How else could this miracle of life come into being?

In two months I've seen him turn into a tiny newborn to a baby whose smart enough to know that when I suck my hand, someone comes running to remove it and I get to play with them. The naughty fiend !! His toothless smile and wordless talk leave me in awe.

On the other hand, I have no connection with the rest of the world. I can feel the void but hey, I'm making a world of my own right now ! ;-)

Diwali '10 at the Singhs !!

2010-11-07T09:55:00.002-05:00

Festivals - something about them changes you. The warmth of the atmosphere envelopes you taking you for a flight that has you struck with awe and the irrepressable desire to make the day/s unique. To celebrate this one life that has been granted to us to live !!

Diwali is here!! These 5 days have me wanting a clean house, lights all around, delicious food, the company of wonderful peoplw n grandeur in everything I grace my senses with.

Last week we celebrated Halloween with the decorating of our house with the series light (in lieu of the festival season leading upto New Yrs) n distributing candy to the cute costume clad superheroes, toys, princesses, witches n angels.

Dhanteras found me enjoying a wonderful afternoon with friends n then spending the day at friends'. The gold buying ritual got exchanged for golden moments that I'll cherish.

Choti Diwali was spent recuperating as I do every two three days by lounging around home and in the evening had a nice dinner with Hubby getting him to try dishes that I had Very recently ( read : the day before ) discovered.

Diwali morning was spent sharing greetings with family. While this was happening I scampered around the house re arranging things so as to avoid the clutter and make it easier for hubby to do some much needed cleaning that I'm incapable of these days. Evening found hubby taking photos and me lighting candles all around after a delicious meal.

New Year night, as I sat in my home that some how magically I've gotten to smell like my mom's home, waiting for the guests to bring in the new year I wish my family was here to enjoy the yummy chat n games I've put together.

End of the day has me reeling in pain and swelling with joy at the end of a successful Diwali Bash !! People enjoyed the Chat options I'd put together and I loved all the laughter and food that every one else had brought.

Today is Bhaidooj and as always I miss my brother and long for the day I can celebrate atleast one Rakhi or Bhaidooj with him without having miles of ocean between us.

Maybe as with all other celebrations, this one too will have to be celebrated in an Inventive and unorthodox manner. Maybe I'll get him to come on webcam and see his lovely smile !! :-)

A truly memorable Diwali !! Can't wait for next year when I'll have my own Family to rejoice with. God Willing !!

Mounting Fears

2010-10-27T11:15:00.001-04:00

I often wonder why change is so scary ?! As the time of the 2nd biggest change of my life approaches, fear grips my heart. Almost as much if not more, the excitement of holding my own flesh n blood in my arms.

We tend to get so mellow in our comfort zones n routines that any threat to the same is seen as a potential disaster waiting to happen.

I for one dread the loss of the balance that my hubby n I have developed over the years. Even though Im well aware that the balance had taken on the shape of monotony, I wonder how erratic the new sounds n routines will be.

I know this fear is baseless n a lil selfish too. I know I WANT this change with my whole being, yet each day that brings me closer to the new person in me feels a lil sad for the person I'll be leaving behind..

On my deathbead ...

2010-08-09T13:05:00.001-04:00

This is what someone said to me recently - " on our deathbeds will we really know what we were born to do...nice one...hope none of us regret ...it knowing the truth then ... "

I wonder. Why is it that people have a " don't think about it, don't talk about it " attitude towards REGRET. Regrets are a part of life. I have so many of them, where I wish I hadn't done this or said that. Regrets are what teach you what NOT to do later in life. What's important is to know that no matter what happened , you tried your best. You took the most honest path along the way of life and if you didn't, knowing that then it's important to realize that and try to make amends as best as you can.

Yeah, don't obsess over them but yeah, personally I think one should always take time out and atleast try to figure our where one had gone wrong when life takes a turn for the worst or unexpected!!! Don't push all your mistakes under the rug, blaming them on timing, others or whatever else diversions you can think of. Take responsibility for your actions and what You, yourself could have done differently.

And if by my deathbed, I do have regrets I haven't been able to realize or amend ... well, hopefully I live a life such that the Almighty will understand that I would have if I had more time ...

Ugly Duckling !!!

2010-08-01T20:08:00.000-04:00

With all the ups and downs that I've been experiencing healthwise lately, I've had a revelation of sorts. Yes, another one ! Life is full of them :-)

Some days have been thinking that I'm the ugliest person on earth. I look in the mirror and all I see is the tired, sad looking person who just puked her guts out and wishes could just sleep these remaining months off.

Inspite of my hubby's constant reminders of me being good enough and that I just need to get out and do some shopping, I don't bother with what I'm wearing or how I'm looking for I couldn't possibly work on this disaster with any success

And then few and far between are those days when I look in the mirror and feel like, " Hey, that face ain't all that bad ! ' I can see hope there. I feel like dressing up and then I do. I blow dry my hair into shape, wear something pretty, put on my kajal, some perfume and some lipstick, if not vaseline. I put on some trinklets and my fancy shoes and can feel myself transforming into someone who " feels " beautiful and find myself smiling at my own work of art in the mirror.
I can't describe the relief and joy I felt when I bought the maternity pants and started going out shopping for ' myself ' after months of wallowing in a bad mood. The right shoes, the right clothes, the right perfume all help in making me a better me, not only from the outside but from the inside as well.

What I guess I realized is, along with that smile, it always helps to have the right accessories to help you imagine a better you in every sense of the word from attitude to materialistic objects !!

God and Karma

2010-07-21T16:51:00.000-04:00

I've lived almost three decades now and yet when I talk to my mother who has two more decades on me, we have disagreements over what life means and what's the best way to resolve a situation - hypothetical or real.

Just yesterday, we were conversing and my mother says that all that happens is with the will of God. Our decisions, actions, every minute event that occurs is coz that is what God wants.

Now I honestly do not agree with that. For that pretty much absolves people of taking responsibility for anything that they do or happens in their life. It's like saying, no matter what you've done, you aren't responsible. Besides, where is the fun in living life to the fullest, if it's the life you would be having no matter what decision you take.

My belief is that life is in our hands. God isn't so cruel as to make you miserable on purpose or make you do bad things but yes, He defines certain paths in your life. The one you take leads you to the next one in the matrix and so on. While this may be a lot of work for Him, I believe that's where free will comes into the picture.

To which my dear mother responded, " Then why is it that bad things happen to good people or people with good intentions cannot go through on their desires ? "

I admit that stumped me for a minute but I came back with the logic that, "The intention is what matters. The action may or may not come to fruitation because our lives our not our own. They are connected to a number of individuals whose paths and intentions influence ours.

Thus, supposing you ( my mother ) wants to go to the temple, but father is busy at work and no one can pick you up and give you a ride then that doesn't mean you didn't want to go. That just means that things didn't work out. "

Now lots of people out there might find flaws with my point of view but then it's a work in progress. I just felt I should put it out there to see the reaction it Might generate. :)

Warning : Intense Whining ahead !!

2010-07-09T16:55:00.001-04:00

Life is changing ... slowly but surely. Where have I been the past four months ?! Hmmm....

The good news is the I'm expecting. :-) And I couldn't be happier about it.

The bad news is the I've been too sick to even think about writing or any other extra curricular activity for that matter. Any exertion physical or mental added to all the pregnancy symptoms and lack of sleep has me reeling. Feeling uncomfortable in my own skin has taken a new meaning and the temperature/mood fluctuations have my hubby cringing in anticipation.

Till the first time I saw the first ultra sound of the baby I just felt I was sick. Once I saw that, everything starts seeming to be worth it.

But damn, it's all as scary as it is exciting !! One second I'm imagining what the baby might be like, how naughty it's going to be and the other minute I'm freaking out at how I'll manage life with a baby in it. On one side, I try to do everything everyone tells me to make sure I do everything right. On the other, I'm whispering to the baby asking if it's all right !!

Sure, it's all a very natural process of life but I envy those who have a smooth and easy pregnancy just having to deal with the tribulations of being with a mom when the baby starts it's first breath in the real world.

Everyone keeps saying to be happy, but how does one find the time to be happy when all they are doing is trying to get through another day as comfortably as possible !! The number of horror stories of pregnancy , delivery and the actual child rearing don't really act as lullabies either. Why is it people Never talk about the joys of being a parent ?!I swear if one more person tells me to think happy thoughts, I might just sock them !!! No offense ..

And the decisions ... urghhh !! Oscillating between doing what's right compared to what you really want sucks big time causing more mental strain.

Above all, the desire to do something is as always inversely proportional to the number of reasons one should not do it to which I attribute my intense craving for SHUSHI !!!

Oh sure, people around me couldn't be kinder but inspite of it all, I seem to be extremely alone and I have a sneaking suspicion this is only the beginning ...

Bloggers Blog on

2010-02-22T12:46:00.002-05:00

I just finished seeing the movie, Julie and Julia. For someone who is totally passionate about writing as well as cooking the story was something I could truly connect with.

I remember when I started blogging I too was in the exact same situation as Julie Powell in the movie. Lost! Since I was spending most parts of days by myself, I needed an outlet. I also wanted to start putting my writing out there to get a better idea on how to improve my thoughts and skills. I believed I had something to say that was worth listening to.

Slowly the concept grew and now I have 5 blogs, each that I maintain for different reasons. Poems, Musings, Stories, Books and Our Daily Life. Each one is just as precious to me as the other. And each time I publish a new post, I hope the one reading can connect to it ... at any level. This effort of mine finds it's goal. A means to an end, to reach out and touch another.

The same goes for my cooking. I am a total foodie and Love to cook. The cleaning up after not so much. I cook delicacies that always bring a content smile to my hubby's face. I would rather work in the kitchen for 4 hours cooking up something exotic, than spend half an hour cooking a basic meal of pulses, veggies and breads. That is my boon and my curse. Sometimes I use a recipe from a trusted source, other times it's a concoction of 5 recipes from the internet and other times it's a product of my imaginative palate. I love the sizzle in the pan, the changing colors of a dish, the aromas that fill the house with hunger and the flavours that satisfy the cravings of my inner soul.
End of the day, both my blogs and the cooking give me something to do and get artistic with. They fill me with a sense of joy every time I click on ' Publish Post ' or serve up a dish. I feel a sense of inexplicable accomplishment. It may not mean much to another but it fills me with pure happiness.

The movie is a true inspiration to those of us who started a blog for unknown reasons, with whatever theme we chose. Just like Julie felt in the movie. She wanted to give herself a direction while working on her penmanship. And she did do that. 524 recipes in 365 days. She found a voice, became popular by some weird quirk of fate and went on to writing books and inspiring movies. Julia Child, her inspiration never quite approved of the blog but then it wasn't about ever supposed to be about cooking. Julie Powell agrees that she never claimed to be a good cook. The blog was supposed to be about living.

I believe that is what any blogger is working towards. To give direction to a part of their life, be it their writing, art, recipes, thoughts or feelings even. For me blogging is all that and more. It's a way of life, an inspiration, something to do and a hope.

Confessions of a Festaholic

2010-02-17T18:23:00.001-05:00

V day was coming up and I was super excited. Not just coz the world would be celebrating love, but becoz I'd be telling all the people I cared for, how much they mean to me.

For a person who just needs an excuse to have fun and celebrate life in all it's glory, this was the perfect excuse. Cmon!! I'd already made a photo book of our recent vacation with quotes and surprised hubby dearest with it.

So naturally, I expected something/anything to come from the one person I love the most. Dinner, a card, flowers, a rose, or maybe just an e greeting ??!! That's not much, is it??

Yet, this year someone had stubbornly decided to sidestep this much hyped, media favorite holiday and staunchly avoided doing ANYTHING other than wishing me a "Happy Valentine's Day !" in the morning.

So, to say the least I was severely dissappointed and I let it be known by bickering all day long and deciding to enjoy the evening with a movie, a bag of chips and a glass of gingerale.

And then the next day, my friend sent me pics of her valentine's day celebrations and I was washed over by guilt. Her pics were of a candle light dinner at home with a home made scrumptous meal and a beautifully decorated table.

"You IDIOT!!", my conscious said to me," If you wanted a special celebration, you could have done the something like that too right?? You were so busy expecting something that you forgot that you could do some celebration all by yourself too. You forgot that just two days earlier, the same guy took you out for lunch and a movie and then roamed around at 12 in the night to get dinner. You forgot that the same guy jumps at the chance to pamper you and take care of you whenever you need it the most. So what more to you need ?? "

And so began hours and days of cooking yummy delicacies for my hubby dearest to make up for my callous behaviour.

The day after, hubby got shocked looks from his collegues when he resplied that he didn't do anything for valentines day when asked. My sad face and their surprised expressions made him feel that his wife did deserve a little something special! Consequently he went all the way out after work and bought a variety of chocolates from Godiva.

We apologized to each other and went on the enjoy another wonderful meal, followed it with satisfying our sweet tooths till their tummy hurt...

Lesson to be learnt : When every day is a day filled with love, even if you miss a celebration eventually you end up end up living it up every day after ... :))

How Messy is messy ??

2010-02-08T19:36:00.000-05:00

I'm upset these days, unnecessarily I might add. Picking up a single object to put it in it's place seems like a chore for it seems so difficult to remember where it belonged. The physical clutter in my life seems to be taking up space in my mind as well. I need to organize, de clutter and ruthlessly. Make space for thoughts, words, myself and my life.

Today was a productive day. I put away notebooks and pencils and diaries in all corners. Then I went around systematically throwing away any and all papers I found. Relocating boxes on shelves, as if I was compartmentalizing my thoughts. If only it was that easy. Yet, it was astonishingly theraputic.

I wonder if a trip out of town, to do nothing but write would do the same for me, for that's what I feel I need these days. A couple of days on the beach, removing the stench of the all that's suffocating me.

For now, I'm on my sofa - warm and toasty tickering away on my lappie and this feels just as good!!

Vengence

2010-02-02T22:10:00.002-05:00

Vengence

She sat on the step looking out at nothingness around her. Her eyes had concentrated onto a point above the fence. The point where you actually look when your mind is actually swiched off. Her ears took in the sounds around her. A giggle here, a gurgle of laughter there. The voices of children, shouts, screams, teasing. The world seemed to be mocking her. It refused stop revolving just because hers was crumbling.

The sounds around pushed her further into the abyss. The abyss was full of questions she didn't want answers to. How did she never see? Where had she lacked? Had she been so trusting or so stupid as to not see? All those words, excuses really. All those moments when she nodded her head in understanding were actually snapshots frozen in time, proof of her blindness. Would she ever have figured it out had her phone not broken down? Would she ever have seen the truth if she hadn't come rushing three days earlier?

A ball came thumping and hit her on her knee. She looked up severely. " Sorry, ma'am. ", said a scared kid. She picked up the ball and passed it to him with a smile. A sad smile at the irony of a kid fearful because of his rogue ball compared to what had just happened.

She took a deep breath. Lifting her dead feet, one by one climbed the stairs. The door knob felt cold to the touch as she opened the door. They didn't know she was inside the house, yet! No servants either. This was supposed to be their home away from home. A get away from the rigours of every day life. She would never even have known where he was, if not for a slip of tongue.

He would pay.

The kitchen. That was where she would find her instrument of vengeance. She took it out of the drawer. She silenced it and moved further down the corridor, quietly.

The door was ajar. Tears spilled out. The vision burnt itself onto her soul. Seconds ticked away, feeling like hours. They were too preoccupied to notice her standing there. The sounds brought bile to her throat. Panting, Moaning. Seconds turned to a minute, maybe two.

With resolve, she turned and walked to the main door. Picked up her purse, she got out of the house and slammed the door shut behind her.

A few people on the street turned to look at her. Her smirk baffled them. As she hurried to her car, she wondered how many hits a youtube video of a candidate running for senate would get before the networks got wind of it.

Yes, he would pay.

My India Trip

2010-01-18T18:23:00.002-05:00

Back from my trip. Finally all done settling in and pretty much back to schedule.

My India trip. Wow !! Can't really believe I did all that I actually did. Any vacation, though can't really call this trip a vacation, becomes a dream the moment you leave your vacation spot. Makes me wonder if it was worth it all. A hectic schedule, exhausted bodies, make it seem like all you go to do is book a spot in the pictures. Well, now I'm being harsh right ?! It's loads of fun too, doing something different from your usual life.

Where had I gone and what did I do? Well, mainly it was for my bro in law's wedding. So the first month went in shopping ( had to travel an extra 4 hours to Ahmedabad each time ) and then go to receive the remaining family members ( again in Ahmedabad) . Then again went out of town for the actual wedding and came back home for the reception, after which we went on a tour of hubby's relatives to 2 cities and 1 village ( Lucknow, Gorakhpur and Ropanchapra) in 6 days both of which were a good 1 day travel both ways. After which we went to visit my aunt in Goa and then went back home for 4 days. After that we went to my cousin's wedding in Jodhpur, travelled 18 hours back to home town and left back to the states the next day.

Oh! Internim, I attended 4 receptions, a New year eve's function, was down with stomach infection ( the whole time) and fell 3 times.

Sounds crazy right? I personally feel like I've achieved something, like running a marathon.

The best part of the trip was we didn't miss out on anything that we had planned, nothing got stolen, no one got seriously sick/hurt and things went off smoothly. And that my friends' is a lot to be thankful for.

We had a wonderful time, made a ton of fond memories, celebrated new years' with our family, took almost 2000+ pics and danced our hearts out. Not to mention enjoyed some of each city's delicacies ( yeah ! even on my upset tummy :p )

Well, that's all for now. Just wrote pretty much whatever came to my mind about my trip. Maybe a more personal point of view later ...

Back from Hiatus

2010-01-08T11:38:00.003-05:00

Have been tagged and awarded by Shruti. Have to list 7 things about myself that no one knows. I might just mention a few facts that my blogger friends may find interesting.

* I had taken an intentional break from blogging and am now will slowly and surely pick up the pace as time goes by.

* I spent the last two months that is Nov and Dec in India and two months before that playing farmville and cafeville on Facebook.

* I visited 9 cities during my vacation and attended two weddings. ( more about that in the coming blogs. )

* I would rather be happy than wealthy.

* My ideal vacation would be to laze around on a beach.

* I love roaming around cities but Hate travelling.

* I find it hard to trust anyone, anytime, anywhere yet find myself believing that has to some good in all, well Most.

Tagging - Mukesh, Baljinder, Nikita, Archana, Nupur, Baljinder, Arun

About my break - Sometimes, I find taking time away from some thing that's as addictive as blogging, it gives you time to re boot your system and wipe the slate clean. If nothing else, the experiences mean while give you a lot of write about ... :D

Born to Rock !!!

2009-09-21T22:10:00.006-04:00

Hmmm. Yup! I've been gone a long time but now I'm back ... I think ! Sorry for being away from Bloggerville for so long. I was just out of sorts in ways. Was I missed ? :D

Well, it's my birthday today. Yup folks ! It was 3 decades ago ( almost ;) ) that I stumbled into this world crying and screaming. :) Yeah yeah, not much has changed you'll say :p Have made a few friends ( I believe ) around here so would love to share the gist of my celebrations with you. Joy shared is after all joy doubled ! And God knows I have halved many a sorrows out here so why not !!

Thursday I was shocked to receive an IPOD TOUCH by Fed Ex, thanks to my generous husband. If that were not enough, on Friday a friend drove all the way from Jersey to Virginia to celebrate with us over the weekend. Another couple joined us and we had an over night party which spilled onto Saturday with a trip to VA Beach with sea food, walks along the beach side and cycling. Sunday was reserved for Brunch and kayaking ( which I tried for the first time and LOVED ) which culminated with loving calls wishing me at 12 sharp from the family. The D day that is today saw me decked up, doing somet light shopping/lunch with a friend and her cutie boy which was followed by some alone time at home with more calls wishing me and a long chat with Mommy dearest. Evening was spent having a cozy, lazy 2 hour dinner with hubby which included lots of laughs and experimenting ...

I owe Most of my happiness to my hubby sweetest but what I'm feeling right now is an exhilaration at being loved - by all those whose lives have touched mine. I am truly Blessed !!

I'd like to thank all those Here too who touch my life in more ways than one with their words and even those who follow me silently for their support is truly inspiring !!

A special shout out to those with whom I've truly connected in the Real sense - Dreamy, Tasneem, Shruti, Archana, Stillness, Hemanth, Nups, Kunjal, Ankit, Baljinder, Yojita, Aparna, Ani, Keshi, Sagar, Arun, Kokonad, , Satan's Darling, Asha, Appy, Priyanka, Anks, Christopher ... and the Blogerrati Community on Orkut !!! If I've missed out any names, I sincerely apologize in advance but you see Old age has it's side effects ;) :))

Urrrggggggh !!!!!

2009-08-27T18:28:00.004-04:00

7 days no post and I feel like it's been an eternity. I'm so sorry haven't been around but honestly, just not been up for it ...

I still don't have much to say except what's in my heart and right now my heart is fuming mad !!!!

I cannot believe how people can be so self absorbed. It's ludicrous to imagine that in today's world people can think of nothing and no one but themselves. Oh please !! Don't give me the rant about expectations and such coz I've heard it all !! Expecting common courtesy and basic thoughtfulness is NOT too much to expect ...

What am I mad about one may ask ? Well, I'm pissed off at my friend who I supported through all of their achievements for years together and today when I expect some back, all I get is a thoughtless comment about my weight which was not even relevant !

I'm aghast at the nerve of the person I was supposed to be working with on a project. Going behind my back and talking to everyone under the sun and trying to manipulated the situations to meet their personal gains is Just NOT done !!

I'm amused by the comment of a friend who thinks it's silly to figure out what's wrong with a given predicament. I'm expected to sit back and enjoy the gossip !!

I'm appalled that in today's world people think nothing of asking for lavish parties and gifts but when their time comes, they find a cheap way out or a convenient excuse. Whatever happened to being happy for a friend ??

I'm surprised that people think nothing of inviting their friends to a third person's house without talking to the said person before hand.

I wonder why it is that politics is played in Every field of life. Everyone wants what they want and it doesn't matter who else is in the way for they all will be pushed aside. In the end the one who suffers is the one who never cared in the first place ...

Sigh !!! Am I being a idealist here ?? I think not !

Swine Flu Info

2009-08-20T12:23:00.002-04:00

Hey All!!! I request anyone and everyone who is sick or feels a sore throat to have themselves tested. And please read up on all information regarding the Flu. It's a sickness that can be cured when caught on time, not a reason for social ostracism. Kindly educate yourself and those around you. Take precautions and prevent the spread !!!

The symptoms of swine flu in people are similar to the symptoms of seasonal flu in humans and may include:

Fever (greater than 100°F or 37.8°C)
Sore throat
Cough
Stuffy nose
Chills
Headache and body aches
Fatigue

WHAT SHOULD I DO TO KEEP FROM GETTING THE FLU ?

First and most important: wash your hands. Try to stay in good general health. Get plenty of sleep, be physically active, manage your stress, drink plenty of fluids, and eat nutritious food. Try not touch surfaces that may be contaminated with the flu virus. Avoid close contact with people who are sick.

SAFETY PRECAUTIONS

*Avoid live animal markets, poultry and pig farms in affected countries.
*Always maintain high levels of personal hygiene, especially before and after food preparation and in-out of toilets.
*Regular wash your hands.
*Cook pork thoroughly.
*While in an affected region, seek immediate medical attention if you develop influenza-like symptoms. (High Fever, body pain,coughing and red nose).
*Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.
*Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effective.
*Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread this way.
*Try to avoid close contact with sick people.
*Stay home when you are sick. If possible, stay home from work, school, and errands.

Emergency Signs.

In CHILDREN emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:

Fast breathing or trouble breathing
Bluish skin color
Not drinking enough fluids
Not waking up or not interacting
Being so irritable that the child does not want to be held
Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough
Fever with a rash

In ADULTS, emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:

Difficulty breathing or shortness of breath
Pain or pressure in the chest or abdomen
Sudden dizziness
Confusion
Severe or persistent vomiting

If anyone has more pointers, please share in the comments section !!!

Love Stories

2009-08-13T11:23:00.009-04:00

Love Stories - Aren't they fun ?! I for one, am a sucker for a bad ass love story. Be it complete, incomplete, meant to be, or all wrong. The best part about them is that they can be found in plenty. Like sand in a desert! In movies, books and people. Every one has one - a story of love, loss, lessons learned or fulfillment. Some shine in the glow of rapt audiences while others' are hidden in the recesses of days gone by.

They come in all shapes and sizes. Sweet and sour or from the old days. Of crushes or those special or not so special people. It's like a web where sometimes, one is connected to another, but some of the links are broken coz they don't suit the final design. We all bumble along the pathways in the dense forests of love, in search of the one flower that grew to all it's glory just for us !

What I find specially endearing is the look on the faces of people as they relate their personal journey or a monumental incident. A smile, a giggle, a bashful look, a far away stare, a sparkle in the eyes, nervous fingers, all signs that the words being spoken come from the heart. It's like a hidden treasure is being re discovered and each antique is polished and put up for display with pride, even the not so pretty ones. For each milestone is cherished, a memory locked away that springs up at the most unexpected of places displaying vividly the difference between the past and the present.

It's hard to forget those sparkling gems. The electricity in the first glance. That mushy feeling. Those moments of apprehension. That first kiss. A few special conversations. Those caring ways. The love and support. The warmth in the voice. That velvet touch. Those actions / quotes that are unique. Tears of remorse, regret or anger. The lessons that come from getting to know each other. The pain of the heart breaking into a million pieces and then the walk down the path that helps them piece them altogether.

Even today when gossiping with the gals or other couples, there are boundless laughs and ' awww, so sweets ' as incidents that brought two people closer are told and re told. The first time they met, how they got close, what they liked about each other, how they proposed, how things worked out, the hindrances they met as they got to know each other better, romantic moments, grand gestures expressing their love - all moments a rousing celebration of the success of their togetherness.

And after all, one of the things we love talking about Only as much as love and life is the person around whom our world revolves. I can just imagine many of you blushing as flashes of your life dance vividly in front of your eyes ... :)

Care to share ??

Jogging Thoughts

2009-08-10T11:48:00.008-04:00

I love a story that makes me think, that i can relate to, that has me wondering about my life and the people in it. This weekend I came across three such stories. I read Firefly Lane and watched the movies Runaway Bride and Love Aaj Kal. These are some of the random thoughts that flew through my head as I watched the movies smiling at how similar these stories were to life as I know it.

I wondered why it is that people don't know what they want even when it's right in front of them ? All they have to do is reach out and touch it.

Why is it that people don't know the source of their happiness when they have it with them and consequently forget to treasure that source ? What we think makes us happy is usually different from what truly touches our hearts.

Why is it that some people flirt without knowing that they are flirting? Why do they have no consideration of those around them and the subsequent feelings that they are in danger of hurting?

What makes people think that romance is in the lavish shows of affection ? Isn't romance even in the smallest gesture and the shared sly smile ? In the Fun things , just hanging out doing things together ?

How is it that people don't really Know themselves? They go along with whatever others' think they should be like and forget to look into what They need to be alive !

What is it that has people searching for their happiness within others' ?

Who says career is more important than family or vice versa ? Should a person not live their life the way they want to, doing whatever makes them happy ?

If a person were to live the life the way they want to, would they still be left with regrets of what they didn't have ?

Why are people always running behind what they don't have forgetting all that they already have ?

Does being a go getter mean you Have to put yourself and your priorities Over everyone elses' ?

What gives people a right to think they can reach into Your life and rearrange things about, only to have you picking up the pieces of the fiasco later?

No matter how close you are to someone or how close They think they are to you - do they Really understand you?

Why is it that people find it so hard to say they are sorry as soon as they realize they made a mistake ? What's important is to realize, amend and act, not wallow in the pool of your own self pity .

End of the day we are all mango people ( aam janta ) running down the roads of life in search for happiness. In the end, all anyone truly wants is the simplest thing - to be loved and cared for by someone who 'gets' You be it a relative, family , friend or the love of your life ! But for that isn't it important to know who you are, yourself ?

Ok ! These were almost rhetorical questions ... Most importantly I wonder why it is that for most people, nothing is ever enough ?!

It Feels Right !

2009-08-06T09:31:00.004-04:00

How Does one decide things?

You get up in the morning, open your cupboard and think " Hmm ! This is what I'll wear today. " A look is chosen.

You go shopping, search for something for days, months even and then see something that seems perfect in your budget and think " That's what I want. " A thing becomes a part of your home, look or personality.

You meet a new person and as you're talking you think " This is nice. " A friendship begins.

You are pouring over books, brooding about your job and while studying a new subject, think " That would be something I could do the Rest of my life. " A career is chosen.

You are deciding what to do in a given predicament and you think " This is the way it'll work ". A plan is formed.

You see someone new or an old friend in a new light or meet someone for marriage and think " Wow ! Such perfection. I could love this person forever. " A possibility arises.

Your relation is not doing too well even though you seem to be trying everything. Everyone tells you to leave and yet you plow on believing your love will take your through and then fine day you think. " That's it ! I deserve better. " A new you emerges.

You are talking about being together for the rest of your lives and at one point you think " This is the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. " A promise is made.

You look at children and all of a sudden you feel something different and think " I wish I had one of my own . " The desire to become a parent arises.

You are driving down a road and think " Man ! I'm lost ... maybe I should drive this way. " . A direction is chosen and usually you Are right ! :)

That's how most of life's decisions go. Along with all the thinking, doubting, discussing, planning ; there is always an intuitive feeling - a voice inside that tells you, This is Right !!

Similarly for most phases of life. You feel ready to take on the next phase with a drive that you never knew you had. You just know that the " Time is Now . "

From the smallest thing to the biggest, your inner voice guides your way. I don't know what it is that makes us almost clairvoyant, but it's there all the same. Sure ! Not all choices turn out perfectly but then in time, one learns there was a reason why that didn't work out the way it did. Or the choices fall wrong simply because we confuse the voice with what we want or think we deserve or practical rationalities or others' advice.

The inverse also holds true. If it does not feel right, chances are it's not going to turn out so good no matter what you do. For years now if something doesn't feel right, I just don't do it and have rarely regretted it !

One could argue that you can take a negative and turn it into a positive. Life is not lived on feelings and gut reactions. This May be true! In fact, if you persevere you might actually turn things around but more often that not, that gut reaction that you ignore is usually right for a reason, for it comes from the place that knows who you truly are inside !

I guess what I'm saying is - Don't despair! Everything falls into place almost magically - when the time is right ; when the feeling is right !!

Sprinkled around !

2009-08-02T08:23:00.005-04:00

You pass through life, touching others. Some just brush past you and others' leave behind parts of themselves that mold into you ... in the form of memories, habits or an epiphany. These are the people you love being with, consider Friends. They help you grow, they laugh with you, they make you feel good for being you, accepting you as you are, they are there to listen or just spend a few hours with and much much more.

On the other end of the spectrum, your life is sprinkled with people whom you just can't connect with. Those who you've never been able to deal, with like or understand. They are everything you hate. You wish you could just get away, but you are tied to them by acquaintance or relations, cursed to bear the brunt of their presence whenever they deem fit to be with you. You run at the first chance you get avoiding them at all costs, only doing your duties as formality requires.

In the middle somewhere are those few who you are tied to by the strings of heart or obligations. You wish they could understand you. You want them to know who you are but somehow you know they never will. It's a one way street, however you put it. You know it would be better if you could break off the ties but you never leave, and you keep coming back, coz you care or you owe them or if nothing else, you appreciate all that they've done for you once upon a time. They may or may not make you feel the worst but in may ways you are who you are becoz of them. Other times you are juts programmed to care, even though you hate yourself.

In the end I guess every relation is a chemical equation. Some just work, other's need a catalyst, some give an extra by product as a plus and others just Don't work. And we just have to live with it all !!!

Thoughts in A Day

2009-07-27T10:23:00.007-04:00

** We were passing a cross-section. As we approached the signal, I saw a man standing with a piece of cardboard held high above his head. As we got closer I read the markings to read, " God is Great !!! Willing to lease self for work. " Begging is not new to me nor are solicitors. But that a man is begging for work by using the word " lease " for himself threw me completely. The remaining ride, I wondered how easy all we have could disappear in the moment and thanked my stars for giving me all the little joys I take for granted most days.

** Later in the day, I went to Toys R Us. I am still amused by all the toys that are on display and even enjoyed fooling around a bit with the ones that said " Try me " . I remembered how Mom used to put away all my new toys a day or two after each birthday to be given to me when I'm older and more responsible. Then Gulf war happened and they all were gone ! Just like that. I never did get to play with any of them. So important to enjoy whatever you have when you have it with you.

** As I was thinking about this, I heard crying and turned around. This old lady was pushing a wheelchair where a girl in her teens sat, clearly agitated rocking back and forth. How sad it was that the lady had to care for that young, challenged girl. I passed on, in the opposite direction only to notice many of the passers by had stopped and were still staring at the duo, even when the crying had almost faded away. I felt sad that others' trials elicit such morbid curiosity!

** A day earlier, a friend was quite upset over her son needing stitches when he hurt his head. I understood her anguish yet explained that accidents do happen and she should be happy he's fine now. Yesterday, she informed me of a couple she knows who lost their child, born preterm. Reminded me of words I've heard from elders. " Everyone has to go through suffering of some kind. Be thankful for the ones you have, for it could have been much worse.

Entered another contest on Bloggerati. - Walk in the Rain

Counting my Blessings

2009-07-23T16:03:00.004-04:00

Ok !! Enough of the rona dhona ... I'm myself Bored of my mood and all that comes with it, so what better way to distract myself than write about some of the happiest moments in my life !!! Here goes ...

* When my brother was born. 10 years younger than me, he's my first baby ( Don't tell Him that !! ) .

* When I won a fabric painting contest at age 14 ( I did Not see that coming ... )

* When my Grandfather said I dance like Madhuri Dixit ( Him paying a compliment was a biggie in itself ;) )

* Getting up late and watching TV with mom like lazy bums.

* When we found my brother after he was lost for more than 3 hours in the busiest part of Mumbai ( for Mumbaiyaas , that's Shoppers Stop, Andheri ) in 97 .

* When my brother won an academic award in the whole of Gulf region.

* When I went roaming around in Khandala, it was raining and we were having bhajiyas.

* When I was the only one to get an increment one year into the job.

* The moment a few days after my engagement when I looked at my husband and felt " He's the one " .

* The days of my marriage. I had a fun wedding, laughing dancing all the way.

* My hubby's expression when I gave him our first anniversary gifts and his 2nd bday that we celebrated together.

* When my hubby gifted me an engraved jewellry box this anniversary with words that had me in tears ( I truly wasn't expecting anything :)) )

* Walking around in the rain with my hubby sweetest, getting wet after watching Jab We Met. ( He's such a sport I tell u lolzzz ) .

* Going snow tubing in Pocono. It was Fantabulous.

* When I realized that Libraries in US are Free and the number of books you can check out is Unlimited. lolzzzz

* Each time I cook something new and it turns out proper, tasting good.

* When someone in my Online world touches me with their kind words.

There are many many more ... but right now I have a big smile on my face so I guess the aim of the post is achieved. Hope you have one too. Go ahead !! Take it up . Share some of you Happy Moments or Times . It's very theraputic ...

Random Rants

2009-07-15T12:00:00.003-04:00

I'm in the dumps. Not literally !! Need a change, don't know what. Maybe I just need to help myself. I feel like something's missing even though I know I'm perfectly happy. Is that even possible ?

The other day i was watching Nat Geo and this scientist was talking about Sting Ray. For those who don't know it's a type of fish that looks like THIS . His team had the humongous thing in a kiddie swimming pool and they kept putting it up on a scale to measure it. They had tied it's stingers and kept pushing and pulling it and my temper kept going up. Then they cut it open and inserted a camera so that they can monitor it's movements. I felt so bad for the poor thing. What of It's privacy ? What is it with people ? How much do we Really need to know ? Isn't it enough that we are all over the earth that we are going into the seas and forests etc. Besides, that how would we feel if Fish got out of the water and started man handling us to check our weight and our eating habits ? I don't know. It just seems wrong. No , I'm not a vegetarian. But I say if you're going to use something for food, kill it quick and let it serve it's purpose so to speak. Be merciful . Don't irritate poor animals just to figure out what's happening in places where you aren't supposed to anyway.

I just keep getting surprised by people all the time. These days I find myself becoming an idealist and thus highly emotional when I'm dissappointed , which is again often.

Things are so wrong everywhere ! I sit among people who talk about the wrongness of diversification based on religion, caste, languages and then laugh about the tendencies of South Indians or Gujratis or Arabs. We all do it. Most of us keep our minds open when we meet new people despite of it, and yet there are people out there who are close minded to Everything.

Have you noticed all of a sudden saris, curries and Bollywood are the new flavor of the world ? Nothing wrong with that, but all the information is warped. People make assumptions, confusing all the different cultures in India. When my husband and I ate non veg, we had people expressing EXTREME surprise since they thought ALL Indians were veg. Why is it only in India we learn about all cultures, all over the world ? Is it because most of us dream of going abroad so we prepare ourselves mentally before hand ? Why doesn't the world know about Our cultures ?

Why is it that friendship is so hard ? Why is out of sight automatically out of mind ? People you think you cared so much about are no where to be seen . They can't be bothered to keep in touch or send a mail ? Or even read a mail you've sent to them. Pointing fingers is the name of the game when you express the effect their absence has on you. Oh ! They Say they care but Do nothing to show it ? Then there are those who just know how to take. Except when they need you or know that they'll be needing you soon. Those times they are all over you , fawning like there;s no tomorrow. And most of the time we fall for it.

Whatever happened to common courtesies and manners ? Saying thankyou ? Returning phone calls ? Being sorry when you hurt someone ? Not chewing gum when you are on stage or in an interview ? Letting another finish what they are saying ? Keeping your voice down when you talk on the phone ? Saying hello when someone smiles at you ?

I might be becoming an idealist but atleast one can try right ? I wonder why I talk about all of this. Maybe it's coz when I was troubled there was rarely ever anyone to guide me. I had friends who held my hand but no one ever told me the right from wrong or just plain how people or life is !! I figured things out feeling things, often falling hard along the way. And I hope and pray that there is someone out there who can be helped . Not everyone has to have walk a road to know it leads to the end of a cliff right ??

In Vino Veritas Contest

2009-07-11T08:01:00.013-04:00

There's this contest taking place at Clarity of Night . Below is the story I submitted for it. Ironical part of my experience was I ended up writing 3 stories and then went stark MAD thinking which one should be sent. My hubby had a good laugh at the predicament I put myself into. Well, eventually I picked one yet I know I have a long way to go to be able to compete with the caliber of work I'm seeing there. If you're up for it, give it a whack !

About the criteria for the story. It Had to be within 250 words and based on the picture taken by Jason Evans titled The Truth in Wine ( In Vino Veritas )

The Story I sent in is The Artist.

The other two stories I wrote are - - - Holding On and All it Takes.

All three are different themes. When and IF you read all three, do let me know which one YOU liked best. Suggestions, critique or comments are always a pleasure to read. :) Thanks . So, here's hoping you enjoy the read. Cheers !!!

And for those of you who are voracious readers, always on the look out for some good stories, check out the stories submitted at the contest. They make for wonderful reading, with great plots, writing and unique twists to boot !!

My entry is # 60 :D

On a separate note, I'd like to mention I'm really thankful to Aniket and Kunjal for informing me of this opportunity to challenge myself. Above all, my hubby specially for being so patient with me along with being my support and guide. I wonder what I'd ever do without him. :)

Go ahead : Try It !!

2009-07-07T09:34:00.001-04:00

OK ! I've never claimed to be athletic. Far from it. The only times I've come close to sports is PT in school, some light throw ball, and badminton, but that was all back when I used to believe throwing around a shuttlecock was fun .

Now don't go imagining one of those girly girls who is never willing to get down and dirty. I am always game to try something new, be it football, basket ball, cricket, volleyball, rowing a boat, canoe, or just a silly game that involves running around. The mistake would be to expect me to have any kind of hand eye co ordination. I never win but I play to the best of my clumsy abilities using brain instead of brawn, always keeping in mind the tips that the people around me dish out as we play.

Why do I bother, one might ask ? For me, it's not about winning, but playing the game. I have horrible luck and never win, even board games. It's more about having fun, getting some exercise, and having some laughs, more at my expense than anyone else, along the way. Yet, I pride myself for giving most things a shot at least once, whenever I can drum up the enthusiasm and courage. Those moments become wondrous experiences, like when a friend of mine tried teaching me how to properly kick a football. The first proper kick and block I did, are still clear in my head as if they happened yesterday.

Past few weekends we've been going boating and it's been a wonderful experience, barring my hubby's frustration at getting me to go in any particular direction ( ref : rowing ) . I'm a water baby. Anything to do with water, and I'm game, without much persuasion. Be it swimming, boating , water skis or in the water park. Even in amusement parks , I just Love the rides that splash you, drenching you in water. As I've said before it's all probably due to the fact that I can swim. Now that again is another story. Since I learnt swimming at the age of 5 or 6 when my dad used to take me into the sea and throw me into the water. I used to flap my hands shrieking, yelling at him for wanting me to die. Yup !! I was a melodramatic kid I guess. Same reaction applied for my mom when she tried to teach me to skate. But they make for wonderful memories !!!

Yet I wonder if I'd have been even more adventerous had I been allowed to climb sofas or break a few things when I was younger. When I was tiny, I never even climbed the jungle gym and then when my bro grew up and my mom tried to get me to climb on top, I wouldn't go beyond the bottom two steps for fear of falling.

What I don't understand is, people who are never willing to put their foot into Any experience for the fear of doing badly or looking silly ? I can understand fear of heights etc, but at least give something a shot Once ?? I have the satisfaction of having the desire to try most of what the world has to offer at least once. I mean, we have but one life and sitting at the sidelines and watching others do stuff isn't My way of living at least. Sure !! Everyone can't try everything, but you can't say No to everything either right ?? I mean, I have seen people who don't even want to try playing pool, shuffle board, bowling , dancing or even a video game. They must have their reasons, you say ? No they don't . No reason. They just don't want to let lose for a moment for fear of spoiling their make up or breaking a sweat. I'm not one to persuade anyone more than two three times, but then it makes the rest of the group feel that they have to compensate somehow for the fun that those nay sayers are missing. Do something once, and then if you don't like it don't do it. But having never tried it and having no desire to either is just, I don't know, wrong at so many levels. Coz those are the kind of people who extend the same kind of attitude to other fields of life as well, scared to let go of their comfort zones, denying changes to just live !!!

So guys, remember !! All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy ... There's much more to life than sitting around studying or working. Don't sit around getting bored. Get up ! Go out ! Try anything new. Live a little more . After all, all anyone of us wants is a life better than the one we have now right ??

Walking the Fine Line

2009-07-02T21:28:00.008-04:00

Every day we make decisions. Every action is associated with an expectation. We make educated guesses for the best action. How to behave in a given situation, how another will react to our words, how a relationship will grow or change, how close we want to be to someone, how much distance we want to keep with others, how to control the anger we feel, how to hurt someone without it bouncing back, how to get over hurt we feel, how to handle irritants, how to curb our desires, how to express our feelings and the list goes on and on ...

All the while hoping against hope that things turn out such that life takes a turn for the better and keeps moving in sane, joyous direction. We fight a constant battle between our hearts and our heads. Sometimes we give in to one or the other, depending on which is more persistent and creative with it's excuses :)

Meanwhile many of us, just let things happen. We choose to go with the flow - belittling the impact of our decisions, imagining we deserve whatever happiness we get is justified as it fills the void that we're feeling.

All the same, every Day we walk a Fine Line. The line that's drawn between the blacks and whites in our life. If we all could live in the white parts, we'd All be happy. Coz what is better than keeping things simple, Right ? Wrong ? For as we look around we see, people prefer living in the grays. Why ? Because it's exciting , adventurous, dangerous ... and without them, where would there be any fun ? We maneuver ourselves towards what's tempting at the given moment, making up a million reasons about why we need to do what we feel like doing. Loopholes in the rule book of life are created impromptu for our convenience. Later when things go wrong, the consequent drama makes us feel alive in some ways as a piece of us is taken away. At the same time, sadly we lose out on other things that could genuinely make us happy.

This line is getting fainter day by day as people get more confused about their feelings and actions. What does one expect when one walks the fine line between the below and strays from one into the other or mistakes one for the other and leads to further complications, hurt, misery or worse broken bridges ...

If you're miserable, the simple thing is to try to not be miserable. Idealistic ??! Probably ! Realistic ??! I believe so ! It's Always easier said than done , but if it's being said, then it's been done by Someone in the past right ? And it can be done again , too ...

Life needs it's grays, but IF things are kept Simple, the grays turn into colors and life is just so much easier all around. Maybe we could be more careful walking the fine line. Maybe it would help if we could keep our deeds in check by identifying that -

Love Is Different From Friendship
Low priority Is Different From Indifference
Living life to the fullest Is Different From Going through the motions
Compromise Is Different From Sacrifice
Loving Is Different From Caring
Letting go Is Different From Losing
Frankness Is Different From Rudeness
Reminding Is Different From Pestering
Scolding Is Different From Berating
Having principals Is Different From Being Stubborn
Inquisitive Is Different From Nosey
Understanding Is Different From Being a push over
Keeping quite Is Different From Accepting Fault
Being friendly Is Different From Flirting
Maintaining Distance Is Different From Being Aloof
Venting Is Different From Whining
Being Sad Is Different From Being Melodramatic
Resolving Issues Is Different From Playing the Blame Game
Having an Opinion Is Different From Judging
Genuine Advice Is Different From Coaxing
Drawing Conclusions Is Different From Making Assumptions
Diplomacy Is Different From Choosing a Side

And so the list goes on and on, based on the intention, actuality and perception ....

What's the point of this post ? I don't know. Some days I regret mistakes I've made. Sure those were lessons and have made me who I am and I do love who I am today. Yet some days, I find myself wishing I had someone who'd guided me kindly, to the trodden path. Those days I hurt more than usual for those I love. I wish I could help them shed away their pain or that I could make them realize somehow that life doesn't Need to be as complicated as they tend to make it or for that matter, imagine it !

No, all pain is not self created and I don't mean to demean any one's suffering. But some of it at least can be left behind or better still, completely avoided when one just chooses to drift in a different direction and move onto bluer, brighter skies ...

Isn't it time we took charge of our life, our heart, our head, our feelings and thus our actions and the subsequent consequences ??

I know , I know .... Easier said than done, right ????

Thrill Rides ??! No, Thank you.

2009-06-28T11:23:00.017-04:00

I love Amusement parks. The melee, the sounds, the cotton candy, the long lines, the colorful rides with the equally colorful people, the soft toys, the stalls, the silly games, the smells, the speed of the rides, looking at the reactions of the others as they go on, go through and come out of each ride, imagining how each ride must actually feel.

I can sense you wondering. The thing is, I don't do roller coasters, I don't do rides. No Sirree !!! I know my limits and stay on the ground. Basically I'm the theme park goer that people look at wonder why I bother to come. Rideholics !!!! Don't bother denying it !!!! :p

"Cmon !!! Try it once " , you say?

"It's fun after the first time. " you say?

" Fraidy Cat !!! ", you say ?

" The feeling is awesome. Just let go and put your hands in the air and it'll be wonderful here on. ", you say?

" You don't know what you're missing ... ", you say.

" You get scared and scream ?! That's ok. Everyone does. That's the fun part. ", you say. Not like me, they don't. My screams are more like the guy from Scream or Jason is running after me :D

I've heard it all before, from friends, colleges, family. I've even had perfect strangers come up to me and say, " Parks are Not for reading. Go on a ride ! It's fun. " Stubbornly, I stick to my guns. I wait patiently for those who choose to go on the rides, sometimes alone even, click pictures and enjoy the wondrous feeling second hand, living life vicariously through ... well, these days my hubby. Thankfully he gives detailed descriptions after each one.

Hey !! I Have tried it you know ?? And well ... read on ...

My two WILD experiences of rides include one on the banana boat thingi. We had gone Early in the morning to avoid the queues. I must have been in the 8th and my bro was 5 or 6. We were the only ones on the ride, besides another kid. We went up slowly and as we were upside down, I started screaming, which led to my bro flexing his lungs as well, and our chorus was diligently followed by our unknown companion. The ride was hastily stopped and we were shoved off to the easier rides like bumping cars, and water log rides, to which I have remained loyal, to this day.

The other memory is of my naive brother coaxing me into going with him on the medium thrill roller coaster. I've just started working and he's in his teens, all set to take on Any ride ever created. I hesitated but not wanting to say No to one of the few things he's asked of me, I went along. How bad could it be ?! Right ? Wrong !!

As we clunked along, up to the highest point, my breathe catches and I wonder what the hell I'm doing ?! We reach the top and the ground is too far away for my liking. My tummy does somersaults and I ask my brother if they'll let us get off if I scream loud enough ? He in turn, slightly embarrassed by his older sister, kindly tries to convince me to relax, and how I can probably see my best friend's house from where we are sitting. I knew it was a ploy to distract me, and as much as I appreciate his attempts even today, my heart that time wouldn't quit trying to jump out of my chest. Bravely, I decided to get through the next few seconds bracing myself, closing my eyes, holding the railing tight and wishing for the ride to go faster just so that it'd get over. As we come to the end, I swear to myself, and by all the Gods that I shall never go on another high speed, high positioned, blood gushing ride again.

By now all you thrill seekers are surely smiling and those not so subtle might to laughing out loud. But for me it's just sad! Till recently, I thought it was just me being Alto phobic. But now I figure that can't be. I don't mind terraces, beautiful vistas from much above sea level, mountain tops, speed boats, fast cars, bikes etc but the mere thought of a glass elevators, those spaced out stairs through which you can see, roller coasters etc have me jumpy. Recently, during a discussion, I realized that it's more of an issue of trust and control for me.I don't trust the people who've created the ride. The height, the speed, the construction,the potential of me being the last straw on the poor ride's back, the enormous possibilities for things to go wrong. It rings within me the fear of my life ending sooner than later, more probably due to a heart attack than any actual falling ...

And no ! Figuring out my problem hasn't helped me One bit. Now water rides. That's more my thing. I'm confident, since I can swim for my life should anything go wrong. :) Well, most of them any way. I howl, even on the water log rides, which much to my chagrin, my husband points out each time is just too loud considering it's not that high or for that matter, scary !!!

All said and done, I still enjoy every moment when we go. The metaphorical highs and lows anyway. As for roller coasters. Life's been giving me a pretty good ride so far. :D

So, what do You love about Theme parks ? I presume you Have gone to one in your life time and have your favorites and freak outs. So spill !!!

Valkyrie

2009-06-23T12:35:00.005-04:00

“The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.”

I saw Valkyrie a few days back and I am still reeling, with a million thoughts running through my head. I Oscillate between awe for courage, intelligence, dedication to the cause and sadness, and wonder at my own potential should I ever be faced with such choices ...

Imagine those men, fighting for what's right, for their country, just so Others wouldn't remember it as Hitler's Germany. So sad that what's right is often marred by hazy beliefs and is squashed by blindness and stupidity.

It's so sad that most of us worry over trivial things, which we could solve with a little effort and intelligence whereas millions in those times lived in fear every moment, with no where to hide, wondering if they'll be the next ones to be taken into the chambers or shot.

It's so stupid that terrorists today are not capable of giving a thought to the perception they are develop for their country.

I wonder if I could EVER be 1/10 as brave as those men who looked down a barrel of a gun. My husband says that when living in such horrid conditions, people are capable of doing things that they themselves could never imagine but then I Know that people can never go beyond their basic nature and thus I find myself speculating about my own.

The amount of courage it takes for men like Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, Bhagat Singh, who recognized the need for men to band together against injustice, at whatever cost to themselves, brings a tear to my eye as I even ponder of the fears they faced with those brave faces.

The horror of it all as people stared down a barrel of a gun, or walked to their death, believing in their convictions, or by no fault of their own. Hatred is such an ugly emotion, bringing out the worst in people, affecting all those around them. Visualize the blindness it creates, that allows one to take the life of another, with no regard for the scars created ??

I'm so, so, so very lucky to be living this comfortable life and the independence to live life My way. Many a times, it's been very hard but it's always easier than it was for those long forgotten, who never had a chance. Which brings me to the thought, that Maybe the rest of us owe it to them, to live our lives to the fullest and best of our potential, doing whatever little we can to make the world a better place Today. Just be as loyal, caring, loving, friendly, helpful, appreciative, jolly, courageous, adventerous, fun loving, as you can be Every day, making sure you do as much justice to yourself as to the ones you care about.

It's the Least we can do as way of tribute, right ??

Happy Fathers Day !!!

2009-06-21T10:27:00.010-04:00

Fathers, the unsung heroes

Standing by the sidelines
Guiding those in the game of life
To work hard, toe the line and play hard
Providing for their family without question
Thinking ahead of time for all that is indispensable
Laughter, kind words, silent looks, gruff scoldings
Love untold behind every action and word
With eyes on twinkling stars in our futures
Prouder of our accomplishments than we are
Happy in our joys, worried for our failures
Disappointments portrayed without feelings
With a few, hidden tears on those treasured moments

Fathers, our unsung heroes
We hold you close for all that and more
You've molded your blood, sweat, tears and life lessons
Into a pedestal we look at and try to reach for every moment, every year
You and you alone, are My Hero today and Forever ...

I tried to search for quotes on Fathers online and surprisingly there weren't that many to choose from, which gave birth to the poem above. So this post is dedicated to all fathers, especially mine who've helped their their children grow into amazing human beings.

I love my Dad. Not just because he's mine but for the straightforward person he is : who always stands by what he believes in. I admire him for his planning prowess, his money management, his hard work, for trying to always make a special effort to right things when they go wrong, for always make sure we had everything we would ever need, for his jolly demeanor and specially for trying to be the best father, son, husband, brother, friend a man can be - always going that extra mile . I am what I am because of him and that can be seen in the strengths of my character.

After all this years, I have been blessed with Another father, whose given me the greatest gift of all time. A happy life. And considering the wonderful man my husband is Only a reflection and further proof of the astounding person my Father in law is. It's always a pleasure listening to him talk, to observe his dedication to his work, to notice his love for his sons and his wife that can be seen in his subtle ways and kind words. His joy at a new experiences is wonderful to share. As I listen to my husband regale me with stories about his childhood with his father, I note the profound influence a father has on his son. I truly appreciate the quality of life they have shared together and thus pass on to us.

I wish they can be as proud of their children as we are lucky to have them as our Guiding Lights.

Summer Nights ...

2009-06-12T19:01:00.003-04:00

Below is my entry for the " Summer Heat " Contest at Bloggeratti. Check out the below link and let me know what you think :)

Summer Nights

Humanity in Disasters

2009-06-07T10:05:00.007-04:00

I always cry when watching the " Titanic ". Always. From the scene where the musicians keep playing, to the captain holding onto the mast of the ship, to the people who try frantically to get out, the fathers letting go of their children and wives, to the guy who shoots himself out of desperation, to the One boat that chooses to go back, to the woman holding the child looking at Kate, to the last scene where Leonardo tells her not to let go, to where they meet again in the afterlife ...

I shudder tho think what goes through one's mind at such times. With their loved ones to think of , prayers to Gods forgotten, pictures of the worst flashing before their eyes, hope of a rescue, desire to help another, or just the need to get out of it all .... some how. My fingers hesitate ...

I was in Kuwait during the Gulf War. Now all that remain are memories, for we lost all we owned then. I was 10. I woke up the morning of August 2nd 1990, to see my mom filling any and every bottle with water, taping the windows with duct tape. On asking what was happening, she told me very matter of fact that " Iraq has invaded Kuwait. "

A week later, we were 4/5 families, with a few bachelors living together in someone else's apartment, waiting for it to pass us by somehow I guess. I was too young to worry, but I can still feel the vibes. One morning, news came that I.K.Gujral was coming into Kuwait with a plane to take back as many Indians as he could.We were told to carry bare essentials, which for us were mom's jewelry and pampers for my bro. We rushed to the airport. As we stood around waiting, rumors spread that the plane was being filled with families who had connections. The person monitoring the number of people going through, told my dad that the plane was in fact full.

I can NEVER forget the look of That man, as my dad started screaming at him, taking hold of his collar and shaking him hard. My father asked the man, how it was that there were men inside when many women and children were still outside. He abused him, threatening that if my mom, me and my bro weren't on the plane, that man would be sorry. People pulled them apart and rallied to my father's logic. I still remember my Dad saying, " If the women and children go through, the men will be atleast relax and it'll be easier to try getting out. " Men, with more political influence than the clip board holder came and discussed the situation with the others revolting, placating them.

In some time, men were seen coming out of the fighter plane. We were ushered in. The plane was soon full of women and children sitting on the floor. I even got I.K.Gujral's autograph.

When we arrived in Delhi, and went back to my Dad's place, people thought we had nothing and thus offered nothing. My mom's relatives poured in with things for us to use, buying us clothes to wear, making sure we were as comfy as we could be in the room on the terrace with the hot tin roof.

A few days after we arrived, we heard of a pilot who was given a suitcase full of jewelry by a family friend to take across customs in India to avoid the taxes ( the suitcase NOT being bare essentials ) . The pilot denied being given any such case at the other end and walked off.

My father came with 11 other men, via Iraq and Jordan. The men unanimously decided to take one suitcase each and foodstuff in their cars. The D day of travel, 10 of the men came with their cars full of things they owned. My father, the man who follows all rules , that he is came with 1 suitcase and a stereo system ( which he ended up giving as bribe at Iraqi border ). Some even asked if they could keep more of Their stuff in our car and Dad refused. My mom says I hardly slept or ate till my dad came back to us.

Such is humanity. People strip down to their core self. And now Flight AF 447. My heart goes out to all those people who go through such situations, coming out the other end , changed with the realizations of the truths of life. It's not only they who get affected but all those whose life they touched in any way. I pray for them all !!

My imagination runs wild as I think of what all those people go through, mind, body and soul. All those who end up being in the wrong place at the wrong time, through no fault of their own. I never know whether it's heart breaking when you picture the horrors or heartening when you hear of sacrifices made and risks one takes in such situations, for people they care about or strangers even. It's occurrences like Titanic, Katrina, Tsunami, freak accidents that separate the heroes, from the villains, the cowards, the just there, or watching people. But as in the end of any ordeal, all that are left behind are the " Survivors" . This set of people are destined to relive those moments and pass on their versions of the incident.

As if Natural calamities weren't enough to wreck havoc on humanity, we have Wars and Terrorism. People can be so Stupid !!

A few words ...

2009-06-04T12:23:00.013-04:00

“A compliment is verbal sunshine” - Robert Orben

Isn't it sweet ? The look on someone's face when you say something nice about them. It could be anything and to anyone yet without fail, it's bring forth delight to the listener. Of course reactions may differ depending on the way the compliment is paid but it always becomes a cherished memory !!

When I was younger, much younger, I'd read one of those books about the things one should try doing every day and there was it - " Compliment 3 people every day ! ". It stuck with me and made sense. I knew even then though, it would be difficult finding genuinely nice things to say each day. ;) And since I am not one to embellish, I just did it whenever I got the opportunity. I sprinkle them about whenever I feel praise is deserved and sit back and relish the resulting blushes, negations, acceptance speeches, elaborations, the smiles, the giggles, the pride, basically all the looks, explanations that say the comment meant a lot ! You could even say it's kind of selfish even, for it gives Me equal if not more pleasure.

This story is such an example. Some though Might consider it proof of me being a lil weird!!

I was in college, commuting from Andheri to Nerul in the Local train and was way too sleepy for my own good. Trying to keep alert I looked around and saw this astoundingly elegant lady reading a book. I observed the drape of her sari, the way she moved, the way she held her book and wondered if I could be as graceful when I grew older.

Thus observing my surroundings I fell asleep. A while later, I jerked at a touch and the same lady informed me that the train would be taking a different stop and I'll need to change trains. We got off and when I got my bearings, thanked her for her kindness. She smiled and 10 mins later we caught the next train. As I got up to stand at the door to get off at my stop, I see that the same lady is already standing there. I stand for a minute of so, smile at her earning a smile back. Then I very boldly go, " Excuse me. May I say something ? "

Needless to say, she's surprised. Not horrified surprised, mind u but a pleasant surprised. She nods affirmative.

I smile and say, " You are really very elegant. "

She looks at me, lets out a huge puff of a sigh and beams like an angel. Laughing out loud, she says. " You will not believe the horrid day I've had. I so needed something like that. You really made my day !!! Thank You. "

We both laugh at this, our stop comes and I never see her again. But I feel really happy that I brought a much needed moment of happiness to someone. I know that it's exchanges like these that get locked into our treasure chest only to be taken out and revisited in moments blue.

It's so nice to be happy for someone else. To share in their joy, appreciate their home, admire their talent, say nice things about something they've achieved, or a job well done, comment on how beautiful they look and are !!! I wonder why then it's so rare to find people who can be happy for you, for it's such a joyous feeling. A few genuine, heart felt words and you " make someone's day ".

I've had many such moments that will be forever etched in my mind. The recent being at my hubby's party, my house guests complimenting my home and the food I cooked. My hubby admiring my surprising skills. Another touching one was my grandfather saying I dance like Madhuri :)) Oh ! I could go on of course but of late it's smashing when someone reads my blog and appreciates the post or the intention behind it. Specially since I have it in writing. :)) I only hope the comments that I leave on your blogs, let you know how special You are !!

So now, tell Me about a compliment that has meant a lot to you or that you gave that was cherished by another.

Pay it forward, make Someone's day, for it's a gift that truly keeps on giving. Let yourself bathe in the sunshine of radiance of an honest compliment !!! A compliment a day, keeps the blues away !! A few words could change someone's life ...

Oh !!! By the way, just so YOU know -

Becoz

ps - The first comments by Archana and Crizwere about compliments that don't really mean anything or leave you wondering about your own worth. I didn't even want to go there Coz words that are superfluous go in one ear and out the next. It's instinctive. Over time we all can make out whose genuine and who isn't. From that knowledge we Know when it is that someone's comments should be taken to heart and whose we shouldn't even think about, good Or bad !!! There'll always be those who'll say something or even when they don't say a word, their eyes belie their true feelings one way or another.

Like I said, it's the way you say something along with the words that matter. Genuinity definitely leaves a mark. And then you surely know that You ARE worth every alphabet in the sentence that's spoken for you. :D If no where else, they come here. I'll let you know bluntly ;) :))

Keep smiling !!

Excuses and Love

2009-06-01T01:10:00.000-04:00

OK !! This is probably one of the more controversial topics I may talk about, and it May hit a few nerves so I'm taking the precaution of saying that all the below is from my experiences and all that I've seen and heard from people around me, people I've loved and cared for deeply and seen in their worst times. So if anyone does not agree, sure put your point forward but it's just something I personally believe in. No offense meant and if it helps any of you out there .... they are words from my heart to yours ....

I read the book " He's Just Not That Into You " yesterday. The tag line being " It's the no excuses rule to understanding guys " and that's exactly what it is. It's a light read, which is so to the point that it's hilarious in it's common sense. I recommend it to all the girls out there. Do yourselves a favor and read it. I wish I had back when !!! Yes, it's girly girly but guys too could benefit from it, for Many gals are prone to the same kind of obnoxious behavior that some times guys alone are blamed for. They say ( I don't know who ?? ) that men are from mars and women are from Venus but we all co inhabit the same planet and well, lets face it, with women's equality on an exponential rise we see men as confused as women and when single, everyone could use some help deciphering their counterparts.

Anyway, that's not what I want to talk about today. When reading the book it occurred to me how stupid, yes Stupid all of us get in the name of LOVE !! How we are all willing to put up with the weirdest things mixing up fact with fiction? Is it hormones ?? I don't know . Maybe it's the movies or romance novels. Maybe it's the VERSION of what we want our love or the object of our desire to be. Maybe it's that our parents / society/ media grill into us to do Everything for the person you love. Maybe people DO go blind in those moments. Maybe we just want to be loved so bad that we just keep stumbling in love, accepting whatever kind someone gives us. Harsh ?! Yeah, well ... but it's true more often than not.

We make excuses for those we love. Sure, there are times when compromise and understanding are Very essential to the success of any relation, but many other times we let go things that are Big NO NOs, just becoz we have convinced ourselves to overlook the FACTS and accept the hazy realities presented to us or the lies we tell ourselves. It's important to know to differentiate. Lies and Actions that if we see happening to another seem absurd and yet we let it All happen to us becoz we think Our love is Different, Unique. Well, the truth is - it's not !!! And another truth is, NOT everything is OK in the name of Love.

It's not ok to for someone to say things they have no intention of doing like call or bring a gift or help out or give time.
It's not ok for someone to keep another waiting time and again with no regard for another.
It's not ok to be indifferent or insulting to people the one you love cares about.
It's not ok to consistently make fun of, condescend, taunt, be rude to or disrespectful of someone you love. (Abuse is not just physical you know and this kind of behavior also leaves the worst scars)
It's not ok to be in touch with an exes while you are in a relationship. Sure, that's subjective but lets face it, what would one be proving by that and Most people are just not comfortable being in the presence of or compared to or jealous of someone from the past.
It's not ok to be very possessive, not giving each other enough space to grow.
It's not ok to cheat with a married person or a person in a relationship.
It's not ok to brush off what is important to or the feelings or the talents of those you cherish.
It's not ok to be in a long distance relationship and not call or keep in touch.
It's not ok to give another importance while ignoring the person you are supposedly with.
It's not ok for a guy to even raise a hand on a girl threateningly , neither a girl should ever slap the man in her life .
It's not ok to flirt with other people when you know you hold the keys to someone else's heart.
It's not ok to lead someone who believes in you onto paths from which it's really hard to return.
It's not ok to mooch off the person who cares about you, only coz you are too shameless and cheap.
It's not ok to get close to a married man or woman, no matter how horrid they claim their own spouses are. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
It's not ok to not talk to each other for days, putting your ego before your relationship.
It's not ok to be in a relationship, once the trust isn't there just becoz you're too scared to be alone.

None of it is OK.

Oh yes !!! We give ourselves and those around us a million reasons. He's too busy. She's pre-occupied. They are just friends. He didn't mean to say that. She cares from inside but just can't show it. We are too different, and that's why we fight. The yelling is a part of our passion. It's not the right time for us to commit to each other. It's just fear of commitment, that's OK right ? It won't be like this forever, they'll change. She's like this only with others, she'll be different with me. Our love is not like the others, it's unique. He's scared of his parents and will talk to them when the time is right. She's concentrating on her career right now. He understands me like no one else can, I don't care what else he does. I'll sacrifice everything if she asks me to. I can't imagine living without him. He's just stingy about money, that's ok coz he's saving for Our future. That happened to you, it would Never happen to me. I love him too much to let go. If I do something for him, doesn't mean he has to love me back the same way . He doesn't say it or show it , but i know he appreciates me. I know deep inside he loves me becoz usually he's nice to me, it's only sometimes that he's so rude. Look at how much she's helped me, I can't forget all that and leave her even after all the other things she's done. Oh!! His ex was a b*tch, which is why he's become like this - hurtful and scared of commitment. And the excuses go on and on .

Fact is No excuses can justify the Not Ok parts. Yeah, people may have their reasons but it's just not right. Most of the times, the above cases have Nothing to do with love. It's just one person putting all their belief into a " Fiction " that the other person loves them in their ways as well. It's just really, truly sad !!! My heart breaks when I hear any of the above and more, for I know that tomorrow, Most probably someone is going to get hurt. Bad !!!! And that turns into a vicious circle as people lash out or act out or hide within themselves, so as to ease the colosssal pain.

Yes, Love is magical, a mystery, miraculous, romantic and all that jazz !! Above all love is Simple.

I've said it all before, but I'll say it again.

Love is kind, gentle, giving. Love makes every thing seem easy for you are always there for each other.
Love makes you feel good about yourself and supports you in everything that you do. Love gives you the strength to be your self with the one your love.
Love helps your grow to new heights becoming a better person that you were.
Love is laughter, playfulness and fun !
Love lets you know that you are special and cherished and cared for.
Love works out all problems big or small, with the conviction that they can be solved.
Love doesn't have measurements of who did what but it lets you know that you are appreciated for what you are.
Love is when you trust someone enough to know they'll stand by your through everything.
Love doesn't ask you to change. It might expect some adjustments, but Never to change your personality.
Love is mutual respect.
Love is what makes you dial a number, no matter how busy you are, just so that you can hear their voice or tell them you miss them or to let them know you'll call later.
Love is what helps you stand by your convictions.
Love is what breaks your heart when you see a tear in another's eye.
Love is what has you jumping through hoops to see a smile of their face.
Love is when you want someone else to be happy, even if it means you not being in their life.

Love doesn't cause pain and suffering. It's only as complicated as you make it. If you love someone truly , you'll try your utmost to be with them. If for some reason you can't, there's no shame in moving on and letting them do the same. Sure there's hurt and pain and tears but there's always the hope for a better tomorrow. It's truly blessed , to love with your whole being the person you commit the rest of your life to, whose returning the promise to you accepting you as is. You're heart is big enough. It can keep giving should you choose to. And fact of the matter is , if you talk to Anyone openly and frequently, soon there's a vibe between you that will surely grow into understanding. When you spend all your days and nights with someone how can you Not love them? Cherishing the past is fine, in fact it's important for it makes you what you are today, but holding onto it leaving no place for the present is just such a waste !!!!

All what I've said above is not just true of a guy and girl but also of any other relation. Why is it that we don't guide the people we care about so much with a doze of reality. It's admirable to support the ones you care about but we shouldn't be scared to nudge them in the right direction when we know what's happening is wrong. After all, what kind of love lets someone walk on the path of self destruction ?? It might not help immediately or maybe make you out to be a bad guy ( That's usually only if you're ruthlessly blunt ), but Maybe : just maybe your might make a difference. In the end, when all things are said and done, the intention will be appreciated.

As I say all of this I know it's all pointless. Only when realization dawns on the person in a given situation, does one decide that enough is enough. It doesn't matter till then who tells you what convincing you to do the right thing. When you decide to love yourself, is when all else falls into place. How else can you love another when you do not know to love yourself ?? It's surprisingly easy easy to lose yourself when you love another deeply and people don't usually know that it's much easier to find someone else to love that to repair your crushed self esteem . Believe me ! I've seen Most Versions of Love and what I've seen is to for any problem you need to believe with all your heart that it can be solved but more important is to know when to let go !!!!

So just stop giving excuses to yourself more than anyone else. Try, for once seeing things for what they are. Do yourself a favor and believe in yourself . Know that you are special and unique and there's someone out there who actually deserves you, who'll appreciate everything about you. Well, maybe not everything...but be sure they'll support you in your shortcomings, help your overcome them and gladly adjust with the rest. Don't worry about what others will say, they don't control the quality of your life, you do !!! Know what you want from your partner and be careful of what you're willing to give up. Believe that you can to be loved, just the way you want it and cherished with all that someone can give you.

Remember : You deserve to be happy !!!

Celebrations and Temptations

2009-05-29T17:35:00.000-04:00

- Celebrations -

Gave my Hubby a surprise birthday party yesterday. He's going to be 30 on the 3rd, so thought to make a little special !!! Yeah, I've been teasing about him becoming old endlessly, but only for another few days or so Can't help myself !! All his office buddies came to grace the occasion with their families and helped by co coordinating among themselves at 2 days notice as I slogged on putting together the food and the photos and music for the actual day.

He thought only a friend who was leaving for India Friday night was coming for a casual dinner before his trip when in fact I had invited everyone. Needless to say, he was shocked to see them all at the door , with the balloons and cake. Managed to surprise him yet again and am happy to report, he enjoyed - a lot . Touchwood !!!

Which brings me to a few of random thoughts -

Birthdays a big deal in my book , yes !! For those are the days that you can truly celebrate the existence of the person who came to earth that day. Sure we could do this almost any day, but we don't usually remember to, do we ?? So I try to let my close some ones know every now and again in every possible way that they are special !!

When I was down last week, feeling lonely, I never would have thought that a week later, my home would be filled by wonderful people, laughing, sharing our special day with us and saying extremely kind things about myself, my hubby and my home. That also by an idea that I had for my loved one, impromptu when most people need a week's notice at least. Just goes to show how unpredictable time is, and the generosity of human nature.

How things that are unplanned are usually the ones that give us most joy and become wondrous!!

As I see balloons flying about in my home, I feel joy in their lightness and color.

When people ask me, how in the world can you do so much, plan, cook for so many people, decorate, always coming up with new ways to surprise him, I wonder why they ask. When you do something for the smile of another, specially someone you love, no effort seems too much. Sure, every body part might ache like hell eventually, but that look of surprise and awe he has, when I see the pictures and the smiles of the people, specially him, it all seems more than worth it. Those looks tell mehe knows - I love him.

Above all, how lucky I am to have been blessed by a man, to love and cherish who feels for me equally, if not more !!!

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- Temptations -

It's the day after, I'm standing in the balcony looking at the clouds floating by and feel the wind in my hair. I lounge around and then come in to gaze at my sleepy husband temped to shake him awake coz it's the afternoon and I want to go for a drive. It's going to rain, I can feel it and I want to be there when it happens.

Still out of the goodness of my heart, I let him sleep on. It was very hot in the afternoon when he came.

Buzzzzzzz !! I jerk around. I hear a noise, going on and on, off and on. On again and then off again. I know an insect has come in. I creep towards the sound, pull up the blinds and lo and behold! There it is. Buzzing off to glory. I run to get a towel, trying to shove it out the balcony door but by some wrong misunderstanding in my landing instructions, it goes deeper into the house.

I follow the slight vibrations into the kitchen. I turn on the kitchen light to make sure That's what it was and sure enough, there it was below the fridge and then it takes off towards the bulb.

Me, being the damsel, who gets Very distressed by roaches or insects ( no ! I'm not partial ), I go to my Prince Charming and wake him up so that he does his " Guyly " duties and gets rid of that nasty creature, Pronto !! He gets up, orders weapons of his choice - a cardboard and two plastic plates and rides off to rein in the rogue critter.

He observes the movements of this mystic vermin. Then he announces to the my utter horror that it's actually a Wasp and is tempted by my interior decoration to become our new room mate.

THIS is when I start freaking out, and screaming as it flies from one wooden surface to another, looking for a place to build it's nest. Yes, I scream and jump around like a girly girl ( I swear, these times are the only times I act like a lunatic from fear of being stung or worse ).

Meanwhile, my handsome hunk of a husband to my utter relief, smartly capturs the offending brute who was scaring his dainty wife. Gingerly, he allows the Wasp to fly off into oblivion and I a sigh in relief !!

Though I'm tempted to kiss him for his rescue mission, I'm Much More tempted to hit him hard for his ceaseless jokes at my morbidly embarrassing freak out session. :p

Such is Love !!!! Very Sweet ... A little Sour !!!

Right now I'm celebrating the fact that my sweet, observant hubby complimented my gold plated disc earrings with " Cutie, those are Noice ' thalis ' you are wearing !!!! " LOLzzz

Night at Tobacco ...

2009-05-23T17:58:00.000-04:00

Jumping around, on top of, below, falling all over each other. Drinking so much that either you pass out and have to be carried home or you are so pumped, you have no idea what you're doing. Grinding against each other in twos and threes. Dancing to Britney Spears music, acting too much like a pretzel, naughty girl, for a guy. Dressing in handkerchiefs that are almost see through, hoping to catch someone's eye and then pulling the dress up or down in a useless effort to cover what needs to be covered. Guys ogling, equally shamelessly in a vain desire that they will " connect " with someone enough to get a number. Gals making lewd gestures to guys & other gals making it a part of their dance to grant deniability. Couples as good as making out in the middle of a room full of people, breaking their shoes, tearing at each others clothes in the process.

Yeah, I had the pleasure of spending a few hours at a club yesterday. The pictures I have in my mind of all the above are gifts that will keep on giving. I ain't no prude. I've been to enough dances, discos, pubs and clubs but it's always amusing what people do think that no one's watching, though inside they are just dying to get everyone's attention. I mean, surely a guy acting like " Britney " is a cry for attention ??!!!

Whatever happened to " moderation " & " respectability - yours and others " ? They say, hey !! I need to let lose, get away from my tensions, need a break. Heard it all! Everyone has problems but do you really need to be out of your mind , to feel liberated ? I really wondered if any of those people actually enjoy themselves in the real sense, for what about later when they remember / realize what all happened the night before ?? I would think a few honest to goodness moves and laughs would work just as well at being called " FUN" , maybe even better. Then again, I'm very well aware of those out there who Cannot be convinced to pace themselves. They just have to get that elusive " Kick " such that it keeps on KICKING !!! :p

I for one, had an unadulterated, fantastical time. A " few " drinks. chuckles shared with friends, awesome music, rocking the dance floor with my sweetheart, fully clothed gave the same feelings of elation as all the above.

When did Partying become acting like an idiot to feel better about the sulkiness of life ?? The dictionary says, it's social gathering especially for pleasure or amusement , not an excuse for indecent behavior. Definitely not a pre requisite. But then, the rate at which the society seems to be deteriorating, this is Just the tip of the ice berg. It's a fad now, to go clubbing and seem hip so on the show goes ...

For me, the greatest highs come from any of my guilty pleasures - Dancing, Music, Rain, Long Drives, New cuisine, Books, Friends, Laughter, Movies, Long winded talks, A new experience, Romance etc etc. If a day includes one or more of the above, is a gleeful day for me. Those days my husband has often commented about how I act light headed even though I didn't have anything :)) And then I tell him, " See ?? You don't need to get High to get HIGH !!!! " :)

What is your path for achieving euphoria ??

To Belong !

2009-05-20T09:45:00.001-04:00

I came to the US immediately after marriage and after the first 6 months of getting to know my hubby and chatting with all my old friends and family, I started feeling the need for people whom I could talk to face to face, heart to heart or just share a joke. I'm unabashed in saying I gave my husband a lot of grief over missing my friends back home and he used to console me saying it'll take time. Sure, he had friends but then they were His, not Mine. And that is just different. I've always been of the school of thought, that in a marriage the husband and wife should each have their own worlds that they bring into the relation, thus enriching each other.

Being too used to having my own clique, I so missed the liberties of just calling up a friend, dropping by, talking for hours, partying, dancing or going out. After I got my license things got better as I would go grocery shopping and to the library and spend some time there. Soon, though I made some acquaintances. I consider myself social, and can chat up with anyone, but then there needs to be a click in order for a relation to grow, right?? And luckily I met a few with whom I could relate individually. Even the husbands got along and that was a big bonus.

All was right with the world again and I was back in my element. We gurls chatted, spent whole days at together, talked about Everything under the sun, ate out, ate in, tried out new things and laughed a LOT.

Then I went to Kuwait, to spend time with my family, and friends and by the time I came back we had shifted to Richmond, thanks to my hubby's job change. Now, I'm not one to begrudge change, but it'd taken me two years to get settled in N.J. And now suddenly, to be uprooted to a place where we didn't know anyone was a set back.

I'm back to square one, so to speak. Oh! The place is nice enough and we just Love our new apartment. His colleagues are pretty nice and we've had a few enjoyable outings with them. And then we have our weekly dance Meet Ups where we are learning ball dancing. But then all that's impersonal. I don't really have anyone I can be free with.

One would ask why I don't look for a job, but then getting a work visa in US, is hard enough without the market being horrid thanks to Recession. Trust me ! I know . On the good side, I have been able to give ample time to honing my writing skills, which has always been a passion. Now if only, I could make something of it. :))

The other day, while reading a book, it occurred to me, that it's so important for a person - the desire to belong. And that feeling of belonging comes when you have people around who accept you as you are, with whom you share a certain compatibility. People you can really count on and call friends.

I don't really mind being alone. I have so many hobbies ( as you all know) that I'm pretty much occupied all day long, but then when you're on your own for so long you tend to lose all your social skills. You stop desiring to talk to people on the phone, or chat with them even. And I'm one of the few people who keeps in touch with Everyone. Yet, some days there's an urge to just get up and go meet Other people, laugh a bit, have some fun , or just to be able to connect !!

This is the first post, where I don't really have a point but then there are days I get scared of becoming a recluse. After all, too much of something can turn into a way of life even. Which is what's happening with the world today. People are loosing touch with each other. N.J is full of " Desis " as they say and it took me almost 2 years to find my niche. Richmond is totally different culturally. Wonder how long it'll be before I find a friendly face around here ???

What about you ? Have you ever experienced something similar ?? Do share.

Tag By Chance

2009-05-18T08:35:00.000-04:00

Well, yeah, it was by chance ( Hemanth - > Anwesa ) that I came across this tag. And since I just Love filling in such questionnaires, went to town on it !! If you have the patience to go through it, Kudos to you !! Might give you more of an insight into me :)) Might !!!!!!

These days Facebook has soooo many of those quizzes and I just enjoy doing them, sort of an introspection into me. I often wonder myself why I do them, and think, the only person I can Really know in this life time is me , so might as well !! Hahahahaa.. If others can fill in quizzes about me, even better for I believe it's through another's eye you may understand yourself better. But this one's a crossword about Me, Myself and I . :D So here goes ...

LAST TIMES…
1. Last beverage: Diet coke

2. Last phone call: Mommy Dearest

3. Last text message: My Bro

4. Last song you listened to: Mohabbat Aaapse ...

5. Last time you cried: Been a few weeks now, thankfully ...

HAVE YOU EVER...

6. Dated someone twice: No

7. Been cheated on? Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? Yes

9. Lost someone special? Metaphorically, yeah.. To the beyond, no... again Thankfully !
10. Been depressed? Yes

11. Been drunk and threw up? No

LIST YOUR FAVORITE THINGS:

12.Books

13. My Blogs
14. My collection of Music

FIRSTS :

15. Made new friends: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: Yes

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes, touchwood !

18. Met someone who changed you: Yes

19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes , after hurdles

20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes, and very meanly I must say :(

HAVE YOU:
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Yes, My Hubby !!

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 99.9 % of them on Orkut/FB
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2

24. Do you have any pets: No .. Hubby has a dobberman back in India, though ...

25. Do you want to change your name: No Wayy

26. What did you do for your last birthday: Got surprise party at 12 and went on a Lunch Cruise!

27. What time did you wake up today: 8 : 35 am ( for a Sunday, that's good !! )

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Movie Mummy-Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for : Hubby's Attention when I want it .. hehehe
30. Last time you saw your father: 2 months now :(

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Spend more time with my family during my wedding ...
32. Most visited web page: www.facebook.com, these days !!

WHATS YOUR:

33. Passion : Dancing, Writing, Reading

34. Nicknames: Adi, Ads, Addi, Adhi

35. Zodiac sign: Libra / Virgo

36. Male or female or transgender : Female.

37. Elementary: Indian School

38. School: Carmet Convent / Indian School

39. Colleges: R A I T

40. Hair color: Black / Brown

41. Long or short: Long

42. Height: 5. 1 '

43. Do you have a crush on someone? Yupsi daisy - Hubby dearest ... :D :X

44. Ever been in love? What is life without Love ??

45. Piercings? Piercings in Ears - 2 each

46. Tattoos? No Wayyy

47. Righty or lefty: Right side prone

48. First surgery: Touch wood, nevaa

49. First piercing: When very young .. probably ..

50. First best friend: My friend Sandy, know her for 16 years now I guess...

51. First sport you loved: Sport ??? Me ??? Uhhh !! Badminton, I guess ...

52. First pet : Doggie, Tipsy ... had her for less than a month :(

53. First vacation: India
54. First concert: KK had come to College ...

55. First crush: Akshay Kumar when Khiladi came ...

RIGHT NOW:

56. Eating: Ate home made pizza just now

57. Drinking: Water

58. I'm about to: save this to draft and get back to reading " The Chilli Queen "

59. Listening to: Movie playing in back ground " Do you know me ? "

60. Waiting for: Something to give me purpose !

YOUR FUTURE :

61. Want kids? Yeahhh .. :)

62. Want to get married? Already am !! The choice is long gone .. hehehehe

63. Careers in mind? If wishes become horses ... :)

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

64. Lips or eyes: Eyes

65. Hugs or kisses: Both

66. Shorter or taller: Doesn't matter

67. Older or Younger: Older

68. Romantic or spontaneous: Live every moment guys !!

69. Nice stomach or nice arms: Arms :D yeaa

70. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive
71. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship

72. Trouble maker or hesitant: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :

73. Kissed a stranger: Nooooo way Jose !!

74. Lost glasses/contacts: Yeah, one eye ... Sure makes the world look more blurred than usual..

76. Broken someone's heart: Nopess.... well, not intentionally so hopefully not !

77. Had your own heart broken: Yeah ...

78. Been arrested: Huh ?!

79. Turned someone down: Yes

80. Cried when someone died: No .. never had the need yet ..

81. Liked a friend that is a girl? Gal Pals ROCK !!!!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: Most days !!! But on rare occasions, the going gets tough ...

82. Miracles: Yeaaaaaa

83. God: Now, yes ...

84. Love at first sight: Just physical !! Nevaa lasts unless it's " Luck by chance "

85. Heaven: Hopefully, but some days feels like it's all right here ...

86. Santa Claus: Hehehehee..

87. Kiss on the first date? Kidding ???!!!

88. Angels: Yes..

89. Devils: For light there is darkness so yeah ...

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

90. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes, my brother !

91. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? No
92. Wanted to kill someone ever? Yeaaa, many times :))

93. Among you blog mates, whom would you like to kiss? Ram Ram !!! :p

94. Committed a blunder and regretted later? Lots of times ... Human after all !!

95. Wanted to steal you friend's boyfriend / girlfriend? Ain't that kinda person ...

Associate with something you wear:

96. White: Kurta

97. Black: Trousers

98. Pink: Lipstick

99. Red: Wedding dress

100. Posting this as 100 Truths? Hmmm............. Yeah :)

You've reached till here ?? Give yourself a Cheer !!!!!!! :))

Who do I tag ?? Hmmmm..... Everyone to kindly has had the patience to read this through :)) You have my gratitude, truly :D Whethere you're a first time visitor or a regular, give it a try. I for one promise to read it through :)

Day Dreams of Tomorrow

2009-05-15T14:07:00.001-04:00

I'm excited today. Actually since yesterday evening. I'm jabbering away, smiling gleefully at nothing and everything. I've become the sole source amusement of my hubby who looks at me now, as anyone humoring silliness does.
I don't know what it was yesterday but today it's a little about the coming months ahead. Isn't it funny how some days we revel in nothing but possibilities. Daydreaming turns into an exciting adventure. We budget, harmonize and frame our plans on the foundation of our dreams and today. We don't know what the future holds. We don't know if the effort we put in will finally bear fruit. We don't even know if we'll be alive long enough to see the seeds we've planted today will grow into the magical bean stalk of tomorrow.

Yet, we paint extravagant canvases of our futures on a look, a thought, a desire, a need. Just the anticipation has us smiling without reason, holding our breath and constructing castles in the air. Cliche' I know. But isn't it true ? That's what we do. We formulate schemes upon schemes shaping all our dominoes in an elaborate style, imagining the first domino falling in the right way giving our lives the shape we desire.

They say the time for everything is now. Then why is it that we plan for things tomorrow ? Why not just live in the moment and to hell with tomorrow ?? Because not everything can be done today. Certain things just can't be achieved immediately. For the rest, the time just doesn't feel right. So we wait, and patiently organize and compartmentalize our lives making educated guesses. And then as we labor, we hope and pray that nothing jinxes it all. We fantasize time and again of how that moment will be, when it finally arrives.

Sure, things may not be perfect when the time finally does comes, but the cherished memories, reasons, lessons will be the best we are designed for at That time. And IF that time is exactly how we imagined, it's truly a piece of heaven !!

Till then know that life is just about the thrill of making the most of each moment, all the while indulging our selves in these visions about what our destinies hold. Me, today, I'm thinking of a wedding in the offing, with blessings and cheer, sprinkled with love of all those near.

What have you been fantasizing about these days that brings the grin above your chin ??? Don't say nothing. A holiday, a job, that perfect home, that special someone, romance, love, wedding, parties, or even if there's that book , movie or dress you're dying to get hold of ... :D There's always something ....

Happy Mother's Day 2009 !!!

2009-05-10T11:26:00.000-04:00

I truly believe in Angels, for how else can one explain the existence of Mothers, our Forever There Angels !!! Today, a day I remember to say that what I sometimes forget the other days -
I love you Ma!

To All Mothers I know

U Make the World a Beautiful place to be. The values, love, prayers, hope, support, scoldings, smiles, comfort, memories you give on to your family every day change the world bit by bit !! For all that and more U are Loved and Cherished by those you nurture all year long ...

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~Abraham Lincoln

Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together. ~Pearl S. Buck

My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon

The formative period for building character for eternity is in the nursery. The mother is queen of that realm and sways a scepter more potent than that of kings or priests.

My mother is a poem
I'll never be able to write,
though everything I write
is a poem to my mother.
~Sharon Doubiago

Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, comrades and friends - but only one mother in the whole world. ~Kate Douglas Wiggin

My mom is literally a part of me. You can't say that about many people except relatives, and organ donors. ~Carrie Latet

Style Mantra

2009-05-07T11:13:00.000-04:00

Some days I wish I was more like someone else. That girl on the street who looks chic in a dress, that lady who looks like a million bucks with two kids in tow, that actress on television whose haircut I just love. Some days I wish I was more fashion conscious and knew exactly which shoe goes with which belt and which lipstick goes with which eye shadow. Some days I wish I'd finally achieve my ideal weight and prance around in short skirts with high heels, the source of admiration of someone else, earning compliments that make my day.

I look at the girls with their immaculate dressing styles, matching handbags, shoes and earrings with every hair in place and wonder yet again, how they do it every day ?

But on that note, I realize it's not like I haven't tried. I've bought assorted shoes and handbags and make ups and jewelry that will go with different occasions. I blow dry my hair each time I go out and try to look my most presentable. Yet, when I'm done, just before walking out the door, I'll always pick up my most easy to carry handbag and wear my most comfortable shoes. Even in jewelry, I'll ignore all my junk and valued trinkets in favor of my diamond earrings with my every day bangle in my hand with my engagement ring in my left finger. All colorful make up gets sidelined for Kajal and my basic lipstick or not even that, these days Vaseline will do.

Last week getting out of the car at a theme park's entrance, I saw another well dressed lady walking by me, and it occurred to me, that personally I find it silly to get over dressed for a picnic, or casual evening with friends. That's just not who I am. No matter how much I try, I just don't have it in me to be color coordinated every day. Even while I'm admiring someone, in my head, the next question is who has the time to take so much unnecessary effort. What a chore it is matching, coordinating every part of your self, taking more than an hour to get dressed for going out to get milk even. Having been in a hostel where the girls unanimously decided on what to wear to what occasion, I guess it's become embedded in me that it's important for the day to be actually special for ME to those pains to look glamorous.

In conclusion, though I wish I could, I've had the epiphany that it's just not In everyone to look phenomenal every day. Like everyone else on the planet, my style is unique to my personality, comfortable, yet presentable. I might not be hot but you'd never look at me and think " Untidy ". Well, maybe some days when I'm having a bad hair day :D Most people say I " carry myself well " and last month, in a group of people ranging from 26-34, I was the Only one whose ID was required to be presented at the bar. Hey !! That's saying something, isn't it ?! ;) And end of the day, I can always count on the cherished compliments of the ones I love when I Do take the extra effort. And that's good enough for me. :) Most days .... :))

What's YOUR Style Mantra ???

Poem Today - Memories & Desires

Story Today - Observations

Love - Ramblings !!!

2009-04-28T14:08:00.000-04:00

Left a comment on Dame's post recently. It was a humorous take on the different kinds of love a boy and girl would share. In the comment I said " Love is just another emotion ". And I once again got to thinking about how love is so over rated. Poor Love ! So many expectations from so small a word.

Love, like life, death, work, worship, afterlife is a never ending topic. And most of us are after the ideal definition trying to make out what the hell it's actually about ? When you see people around you and have experiences that make you question humanity in people, gets you to wondering if anyone even knows what love actually feels like. Yeah, sure we throw around " I love you"s to people we feel strongly for, but what about " true love" ? The eternal, romantic, movie magic kind that makes you weak in the knees, the kind you'd die for. And if we say I love you to someone one moment, where does that so called love disappear some days, months, or years down the line ?

Anger, happiness, joy, jealousy, sorrow, hatred, passion are all emotions. I figure, with love being an emotion as well, why is there so much pressure on it to go on forever. It too comes intensely and may go away after some time. The problem Might be that people confuse love with the search of their " perfect someone " and those are two totally different entities.

Love can be of different kinds, with different people, having different shades, but when you find your perfect someone. Someone whose compatible, rather complimentary to your basic nature and mix in the Right amounts of understanding, respect, caring, friendship, devotion, and loyalty is when " True Love" starts emerging ... something that will last forever.

And when one is lucky to find such a love, everything becomes easy. For nothing is a burden when done for the ones you love. Everything just kind of flows, and even the happiness one feels is like a glow from within. But don't mistake me, it still, always needs to be worked that. The trick I guess is to always remember that all you have may disappear at any moment. If you know that you would be nothing, if you lost what you had now, you'd cherish it with that much more passion. Every day, every moment, with your heart, with your soul.

Still it's important to know when to let go of something when it's not working for you. Too much, or too little and it's just not right, is it ?! Every ingredient needs to be just right when you want to create perfection.

Recently, I've had a few friends not doing so well, in relations and in marriage. It tears at my heart, what people do each other, in a relation, granted in different ways. Why do people just expect everything to be JUST the way they want it without putting in Their own 100 %. In today's day and age, when one has time to get to know their respective spouses, why does one still choose to go in blindly, thinking " Oh ! It'll probably change later ?? " Hello !!!! It doesn't change. Nothing changes. If you can't deal with something now, chances are 5 years down the line, with work , and other responsibilities those same things will be impossible to deal with.
Then there's my favorite. " I could have / will do better " ( in ref, to their current, spouse, lover, partner ) What in the world kind of thinking is that ???? You will do better, but is this like an exchange offer ?? Do people KNOW the meaning of commitment ?? Why commit if you weren't sure in the first place ?? Loyalty is a thing of yesterday. "It's not working for me, let me find solace with another - emotional , physical , whatever. " People !!!! If it's not working for you, it's not working for both of you, cut your losses and move on. Don't cheat, in whatever small way. That's so uncool! Relations, any for that matter, marriages, kids , need work !! So WORK at it. Don't' crib about it. And DON"T compare it to someone Else's. Believe it or not, each relationship is unique. Oh !! These may Seem like ramblings of things Everyone knows about. But when I look around me, there's so little of common sense I see, it sucks !!! So many wrongs, I could go on and on ! People think they are better than one another, taking each other for granted, talking rudely to each other, the silence, the pain, the punishments, the nagging, the superior attitude, the inferiority complex, the sarcasm, the indifference, the disrespect, the tears, the drama. And all for what ?? How does Any of the above help a relationship ? Why don't people just concentrate on matters that would Actually make a difference 5 years down the line ? If it's a deal breaker then work on it. If not, then keep at it. Why do people give up on working on their so easily ? Oh ! I could go on and on, but I guess this is getting to be like a judgmental rampage. Forgive me guys. It's just me, feeling angry at the recklessness that people show to commitments / people.

I guess, what I want to say is wake up - smell the flowers, look at them, touch them, feel them and above all nurture them. For the love that you have this moment is the only there forever, IF you decorate it with all the other emotions you have within you ...

Asha's Tag - Memoirs

2009-04-22T10:54:00.000-04:00

Asha has very kindly tagged me and well though I've already done something similar in my about me post, I thought why not do it in a different way. One might say it's a little narcissistic but hey! it's fun to reminisce so here I'm gonna put down a few anecdotes and since it was my anniversary yesterday, a few notes about my marriage too. I'm sure it'll be too much to read maybe but if you find it entertaining enough, it might give you an insight to my life as well.

1. My dad taught me swimming by taking me deep into the sea and dumping me in it. I used to react by screaming to the high heavens about how he hated me and never wanted a daughter. Lolzz. ( I was their only child at that time and I'm glad today since I just love swimming, NOW ).

2. I was a total chatterbox in school and was called the same. Once after being warned once, I got hit on the knuckles with a wooden scale, by my Arabic Teacher. I don't know if I deserved it, but that was the only punishment a teacher ever gave me... about talking atleast ;) :))

3. Me and my friend were always competitive. We were 8 or 9 ,I believe and it was the first time I was in class A, usually it would be class B. So she says, " I'm in B, it's for best. " I responed," I'm in class A, A is for airoplane . We can fly really fast and go wayyy ahead. " LOLzzz. I know. What was I thinking !!!??

4. Till age 10, I was such a goody two shoes that I even took permission to go to the bathroom. :))

5. When my brother was about to be born 10 years after me, my mom had a lot of trouble. Poor thing even fractured her leg, so I told her, " Mama, he's troubling you now, he won't later. And I'm a good girl now toh I'll trouble you lot later. " A statement that turned out to be a prophecy. ;)

6. My love for reading began with Archies comics and then moved onto Amar chitra katha, Chandamama, Secret seven, Perry Mason, Mills and Boons and then Jeffry Archer , so on !! And my love for all the above remains till today.

7. For my 9th birthday, I had my friends over to practice for a play. Till date I wonder why I had the cake with ketchup and salt !!!

8. For my 10th, I was getting highest marks in Hindi in all three classes put together. But when the result came, I got 64 something, surprising everyone most of all me. Then I came up with the concept of how marks are given in board exams. People throw up the papers. Those that fall on the right, get good marks and those on the left, below 65. Something I believe till date. Lolzz. I don't blame them. Who can actually Read all those papers in all that bad handwriting.

9. In 12th, I had to take Bio, a dreaded subject for me. It was the first time I was commuting in trains in Mumbai, living with someone other than my family, studying morning 3 to night 12. My aunt gave a party when I got 53 for my first exam that so pampered a gurl, managed to get atleast this much. :)) Till date I'm not very sure if that was a compliment !! :)) Kidding Masi!

10. My first year engineering, a girl sat next to me. Turns out, she too was a Rajput from Bhopal. We had so many things in common, it was shocking.I finally understood the meaning of " It's a small world."

11. In all my years of engineering, my attendance must have been only 20 %, and that's including the practicals. Not that I'm proud of it but I had better things to do, like going to Khandala on a whim or catching the movies, well, you get the picture !! :)

12. We were organizing a dance for our first year function. A now very good friend of mine, had started talking to me with the line, " So, you from kuwait? You guys travel on camel there. ?" I couldn't believe the absurdity then, and I don't believe it now. hehehe.

13. On more than one occasion, I've been labeled, Ice queen, egoist, reserved, or downright weird. Credit goes to the fact that I prefer observing people before I talk to them.

14. When I was young, I took up pottery, fabric painting one summer. I seemed to have a flair for it and even got a prize, because of which my parents did not stop me for painting a muriel on one of our walls at home. It was very sweet of them to wait a month or two, before painting back over it. :))

15. During ragging in college, one of my seniors asked me what my hobbies were. I said reading, and then with a shrewd expression she asked me if I've read Jackie Collins. Truth be told, I had but knowing the questions that would probably follow my admittance, I cleverly denied it. Saved me a ton of trouble.

16. One of my proxy giver friends in college, very cleverly gave my proxy in a class of 12 where there were only 2 girls. Needless to say, I was in a big mess till the end of my term since I wouldn't tell the professor who my kind helper was.

17. A great friend of mine and me, used to just love catching first day first shows. It'd become such a matter of honor for us that we thought nothing for paying Rs.250 for a Rs.80 ticket to watch Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gum. Such fun times.

18. For the millenium, 4 of us gurls decided that we just had to party hard that night. Something different, something unique. We roamed around half of mumbai, but found that all parties worth attending were 1000 and above, so finally at 11.30 we decided to go back to my uncle's building party. Danced all night. Tasted champagne for the first time, After taking my grandma's permission mind you but spit it out the second I tasted it ... Yup!!! Fun times indeed.

19. My engagement to my husband was decided without actually meeting each other. We had emailed, chatted, talked over the phone and liked each other. I had met his parents (he was in US) and liked them and they liked what they saw in me. 2 days before the engagement, my supervisor sat me down and told me, that it's ok if I didn't want to go ahead with the engagement after I met him. It was my life and I was entitled to saying no, if I wanted to. Other than him, only my cousin said the same to me. I was pleasantly surprised that he cared enough to say that to me. :)

20. After talking to me 4 hours at his stop over during his flight to my place for our engagement , my to be fiancee just wouldn't look at me or talk to me and it was totally freaking me out. On our way out, finding a moment alone with him at the end of the day, I rudely said, " Excuse me! If you don't want to, you don't have to. If you don't like me in person, you don't have to marry me. " To which he reacted with shock for a few seconds and then burst out laughing, said," Nothing like that. Chal chal. " Later he said, he was just shy and just loved my gutsiness. ":D

21. During our wedding, we were supposed to read out our vows in pure hindi, which to my annoyance, my husband kept assisting me with by whispering it in my ears. We finally ended up laughing our way through them, specially when one came about how I'd keep a control on my expenses for the benefit of the household. lolzzz...

22. When my brother was 4, due to some misunderstanding in the two groups, he was left at the Shoppers stop in Andheri, Mumbai. Till date that incident haunts me as to what might have happened. But it's great for my brother, who never misses a chance to emotionally blackmail me.

23. My husband loves playing with cars, climbing on trees and such. Once he made a big mess in the house with cartons, creating bridges and tunnels, driving his remote controlled cars through them in the search of the perfect set up. Exasperated I yelled, " OMG !! What a mess you are making. Kids play with cars like this. Aren't you much older than that?? "Looking suitably chastised, he looekd at me with a small face responding, " But the box says, 12 years and older na ?! " What can I say ?! He's just that kind of guy. And I love him for it... :) :X

24. We had gone to Poconos mountain, for snowtubing, in which you sit on a tire like thingy and go down the hill. It was snowing but the snow below our feet had turned to ice. I wasn't wearing proper shoes and kept sliding in the queue , holding onto my husband for support. To everyone's immense I fell down, taking the next two people with me, sliding without the tube. lolzzz

25. Phew !!!! If you've made it to here you deserve an award. On the other hand, maybe you're now curious to know more About Me !!!? :))

But seriously, I hope you enjoyed the trip down My memory lane. Thanks Asha for tagging me. I for one had fun !!! :D

I'd like to tag - Dreamy, Keshi, Arun, Kunal, Hemanth, Kunjal , Nekita, Ash D, Raj87, Comfortably Numb and GopalKrishnan

Cmon guys !! Let us know some more about you.

Peace after ...

2009-04-16T11:16:00.001-04:00

I'm into murder mysteries. Yeah, sure it's kinda morbid but hey ! to each his own. I love the deductions, the dark humor in some, the mystery, the motives, the depths of human emotions - love, hatred, jealousy, envy etc etc and even a bit of the ghoulishness.

One such show I catch on and off is Cold Case . A murder happens that goes cold over time and then a new piece of evidence causes the team to investigate it all over again to find the culprit, which of course they usually do. What I personally love about the series is that in the end of it, once the perpetrator and his motives are found, a glimpse of the murdered person is seen by one or more of the people closest to the dead person or the person most affected.

There's something appealing to me, in the portrayal of a spirit that is finally come to peace with it's life or it's end rather once it's all come a full circle. In knowing that those that loved them and those who meant them harm have all realized their own truths. It's amazing since we don't even really know what happens after death. But there's something hopeful in the knowledge that there's something called a soul in each one of us that is our essence, defining who we are and is accountable for our deeds in future, ie the after life.

Now, I do believe that our life is also based on karma, which gives us the options to even out the rights and wrongs. Our actions and our decisions, our feelings and our reactions are all added and subtracted from a huge calculator somewhere. But then I would like to also believe it's our souls that help us along guiding / nudging us spiritually and our souls that we take onto whatever lies after our breathing has stopped. Why I'd like to believe this more than anything is because of the one or two people I've met who appear to have no conscience. I have no right to, but some days I wish hard that if nothing, they at least once realize the pain they've put others through. That their spirit would at least be answerable if not their minds, their hearts or their conscience.

That is why I lean towards believing the myth that spirits live among us, those who die tragically, unnaturally, or with some secret. That each soul has to find it's harmony in nature and with it's self. That parts of the spirits of those we truly love remain behind with us as well, looking out for us.

And that is why whenever I see the ending of that serial I find myself overwhelmed with the emotions one Might feel when they finally see every corner, even the darkest of their lives coming a full circle : if not in their life but after death , years later even. We each have a cold case within us which is unfinished, questions unanswered. Imagine, the satisfaction of knowing that all is right finally, and the peace that would come with it.

Vanishing Memories ...

2009-04-08T20:28:00.000-04:00

Another realization : I can't stay away from writing.

A thought has been haunting me these days. The past - these days feels like it's an elusive butterfly that I try to keep catching. My stay at my parents' place has become a distant memory all too soon. That's taken me as a total shock. And another thing, I've had a colorful life. And yet as I live in my present I realize that I'm more and more distanced from those moments which once upon a time I was so passionate about. That's not necessarily a Bad thing in some cases :) and in others I find myself missing what I had, wishing those days weren't disappearing in the mist of my life today . When I struggle to remember how it was at a given point, I find myself grasping at straws in the dark, finding that it's mostly only the feeling that remains. It leaves me kind of guilty as I abandon even the search of those times. Maybe I should have thought about those seconds, minutes, hours, days more often so that they didn't just evaporate.

Do you remember Every single detail of what's happened in Your lives ? I don't and yet I find myself someone whose made up of all my experiences in the past. I tend to react and conclude based on what I've already faced or seen. So, why is that ? Why can't I leave the days gone by behind ? Why is it that I carry things people have said, done to me with me every where I go ? Not just me, i believe it's something Most of us do. I live in the moment more than anyone I know and I find it's completely exclusive of holding our past near.

Which brings me to the conclusion. The past is only a bundle of memories - sounds, smells, visions, colors or feelings even. A summary, if you will of each episode of what we've gone through. Each period neatly totaled into a lesson or a characteristic that defines us. Sure we remember instances, which are usually the ones that affect us the most Or the tales with which we regale those close to us or those that we cherish and think about often. The rest of our lives become a blur, a haze that we've walked through to get to where we are today.

Somehow that makes me sad. Some days I feel I've not lived enough.

C u l8r , Alligator !!

2009-03-26T15:59:00.000-04:00

For those few that read my humble blog , I'm off back to hubby dearest !!! Am excited, nervous and trepid with anticipation about my trip back , being with hubby again :D And setting up my new pad !

I've been with my parents past 3 months, my birth place so to speak and have enjoyed it a lot. The experiance has lead to some great thoughts, realizations, outings and some decent writing on my part, giving me time to Blog properly :D

Well, I'm off now and will be gone a few days !! So wish me luck on the new chapter in my journey in life ... And for anyone who wishes to see something new from me, please go through the rest of my writings and let me know what you think !! :)

Cheerio... Keep blogging and rocking !!

Wait for it !

2009-03-14T17:23:00.000-04:00

You have a problem that you cannot solve. Confusion, hurt, pain, suffering all twist within you as you search in vain for a solution that'd give you peace. You ponder often, swaying between pros and cons, rights and wrongs, doing what feels right and doing what is thought by others to be right. You talk about it to your friends, your family, anyone who Think may hold the key to this lock that holds within it the treasure of your happiness.

You puzzle for hours, days, months, years even.

The truth of the matter is that it's only You who can do Anything. No one can truly help. They can sympathise, support, predict, make assumptions, give options, retort, judge, regret, even express wonderment at how long you've been willing to carry your burden around. Everyone has an answer based on their beliefs and experiances. Everything makes sense but nothing will click : For you. For you too, will have your excuses, reasons, past and facts to justify every action that can be explained perfectly to you and those around you as well, but no answer yourself as to how to make your ghosts go away.

Call it destiny, reason, or the Hand of God, one fine day a moment, an incident draws upon you an epiphany. A flash of light, breaks through all the barriers you've erected that've held you back so long and free you of their clutches. Then, the solution stands before you like a beacon in a stormy night. And you wonder, why didn't I see this before ? Why did you waste all that time in making a decision that other's could see all the while?

Maybe you were destined to carry the weight all that while, to be liften only when the lessons hidden in the dilemma that had befuddled you for so long. Whatever the reason, and the reason does come forth in time as well, it's Only You and Such moments that shape you, your beliefs and your life !

Be patient, have faith and keep living life to the fullest. For those moments Will come and dazzle you in ways unknown. Don't forget to act swiftly for they may pass you by just as easily ...

About Me !

2009-03-13T09:50:00.000-04:00

Tag I got on face book and seems like an interesting challenge. Funny thing is it's hard to get started and once you start, it's hard to stop :) Rest of you out there, accept this tag if you like. Would be nice to get to know a little more about you all too .

So here's a little about me --

I love reading/ writing/ dancing / watching tv or movies most of which I started early and Still continue in any form available.

I am extremely obsessive about things being in their right place.

Once I set a goal to do a job, I CANNOT rest till I'm finished. I figure, I can totally chillax once I'm done.

I am great at zoning out if I get bored.

I don't ever mind being alone be it at home or outside.

I believe in saying what's on my mind. Very volcanic in that regard.

I sleep with a fan and blanket no matter what the weather.

I have a very low threshold for people who display qualities I dislike; like disloyalty, nit picking, disrespect for others, saying what you don't mean, show off, bad manners, insensitiveness or a tacky sense of humor. Definite turn offs.

I'll stand by what's right, no matter what the cost to me.

I cannot imagine living a life without friends who Know the meaning of friendship.10. I am loyal to a fault.

I Never go shopping, unless I need to.

I'll say sorry as soon as I realize what I've done or did was wrong. No matter when that might be or even much later than the event.

I enjoy trying out new things for new experiences.

I am a foodie specially if it's extremely spicy food. Never liked sweets till I got married. Now I need a bite of something sweet; after every dinner.

I act/talk funny once I get sleepy.

I learnt the true essence of love when I got extremely lucky and met my husband : the smile on my lips, the twinkle of my eye. The one person who truly understands & accepts Everything about me, albeilt with a grain of salt and a hearty laugh. :)

I enjoy talking to all sorts of people and trying to figure out what they are really made of. Doesn't mean I'm a good judge of charachter though. But it takes a lot of wrongs before you meet the right kind of people who make life worthwile.

People I call friends, I know really, really well.

I am religious in the way that I believe each person is entitled to having their own kind of relation to God.

I play Agony Aunt often, having a highly sensitive empathy scale.

I love everything about water bodies, specially beaches. The water, the sky, the sounds, the feel.

Inner Child

2009-03-07T15:10:00.000-05:00

I grew up too early. Being the elder one and the problem solver ( well, I've tried a LOT :)) ) in the house, the weight of managing a lot of things has often fallen on my already tired, inexperienced shoulders. Then came the horrid phase of realizing that life's even more complicated and there's a very long way for me to go yet. Unsuccessful as I Might have been, I've had the satisfaction of having lived my life on my terms and am now well aware that this journey is an endless work in progress. I don't really remember much about my juvenile years and of what I do remember I prefer not remniscing about. No, this is not a pity party, for there aren't any horrid stories. Just the usual struggles of someone in a difficult environment. Consequently, have always felt I matured too early in life !!!

Now, after marriage, I find myself living my childhood. Finally! In the 2 years that I've been married it's liberating to be able to fool around, play senseless games, run rampant, talk gibberish and just have plain, simple, uncomplicated fun with the one person whose had the patience to bear with my childishness and maybe become a Bigger baby in the process. :) Well, He didn't have a long way to go. He's as simple and innocent as they come , at the the same time sensible enough to keep me grounded and provide the required stability. Though it was Only in time that I realized, that the elation I felt was from the infantile nature we shared. The relief in being able to be myself totally and finally doing the things I've always wanted to do, or try is truly liberating.

Why do I talk about this today ? I was talking to a close friend today when we were discussing how 30 is the new 20 now, and once we are kind of in our middle 20s, we start wishing that we did more of what We want, rather than what the society expects. In conversation I realized that Most of us in today's world tend to grow up wayyy too early and sometimes we forget that mind set, not age is the factor in enjoying each moment. How ridiculous it is, when in this day and age where people live to their 90s even, today we have people in their 30s cribbing about how they are too old for this or that.

Sure, sometimes responsibilities just take front seat but we with the Right kind of circumstances, we can Still make way for our desires to come true. My friend was so relieved to hear that it gave them hope that they still had time for themselves. So I thought, maybe there are other's out there who need to be reminded, that Life is not just about trudging through the turmoils. There's always time to have unadultrated, senseless fun that's reminiscent of our adolescent days. And we can, given the right mindset.

So Guys !! Don't give up on the inner child in you. Given a chance, it Will run wild. It's always waiting somewhere within you :) I found it and so will you .... :)

The Anger Dominoe

2009-03-04T09:22:00.000-05:00

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

Isn't it amazing how when two people are fighting they don't really realize what they are saying and usually end up saying more than they would like to ?? Their basic desire is to basically get through to each other, but when that desire turns into an intention to hurt, the picture gets distorted. And then it's too hard to see the actual picture. So why shout in the first place ?? Why not calmly, rationally discuss the issue keeping in mind what the true problem is ?

Ok ! This isn't possible, coz sometimes you are so far gone that it's hard to control. But After the inital fountain of anger dissipates ( with venting, crying, screaming whatever ) one can always go back to the heart of the matter and talk about it logically. That's where actual understanding about a person's intentions, reasons, logic, and a possible compromise or solution come into play. For this, Listening is as important as discussing.

Ok ! Sometimes even that is not done, a solution is Not reached. Then Leave it. Accept that, the situation cannot be changed. Funny is, when the expectations are to Trying to change another's personality ?? Now when is Anyone known to change ? Sure, if something is logically explained to open minds, then just maybe. What is the point in trying to explain to a closed mind, one brings up All past issues into a present one springing up all the hate and anger that's left over from all those spewing venom in everyone's lives, when it will once again have no result ??

They say, all is fair in love and war. What kind of idiot lives by that ? People have to exercise caution, understanding, reason, compromise in Both. Why do people forget to be fair to the We and think only about the I ???

What Straw ?!

2009-03-01T04:30:00.000-05:00

I have a confession to make. After my Switch Blog, I still lost it where certain people are concerned. I tried successfully to keep my emotions in check for a few months but then I Yet Reacted to a trivial issue. But then for someone outspoken like me to keep feelings bottled up so long, it was a straw that broke the camel's back and that's not much of an improvement, is it ?

Then by chance, attended a Meditation Seminar which resonated of my Better Half's words. Penning down a few milestones of my journey in the past few weeks. Input anyone ??

* I need to just accept that there just Are people who I cannot get along well with and maybe shouldn't try too hard after a while either.

* If you are sure that you deserve respect, you don't really need it from anyone else.

* I love myself : caring about myself is the First step in being able to loving others. Hurt affects no one but yourself. In the end no one stands up for you but You.

* By holding on to others's actions, even though the situation doesn't change, I get ridden with guilt for feeling the way I did and acting the way I did, ending up hurting / upsetting the one person who I truly about. And nothing / no one is worth that kind of attention.

* Whatever goes wrong, May be a consequence of some subtle action on my part and I need to take responsibility for that. I may not be able to change the past or the people involved, but I may change the future by letting go of the subsequent reaction.

* A lot of the hurt and pain, that I've felt over the years has left a bitter residue. But if I go to Really think about it ; I don't really have a good memory of more than a few incidents over the last decades, so what's the point of fretting over similar trivial things today?

* Maybe giving up hope of getting through to some people would a good thing. Just letting their words / actions wash over me would be better than fretting over why/ how they do what they do, for someone whose not changed in years, is doubtful to change now.

* People's feelings, other than family : change over time. But one doesn't realize some of the changes till one is in the Actual situation in person.

* For most people, out of sight IS out of mind. Someone I am fond of told me recently " We are so used to Not having you around, that now even though you are here, don't really remember to keep in touch. " Cruel ! Yet so true.

* The funniest thing is the same applies to me. I realized I myself, don't feel the same about most of the people I Thought I was attached to over the years. Doesn't hurt as much to be sidelined as it used to. Or maybe I've it's more coz I too have gotten used to being alone :) After a time, people are just easier to remember as a figment of memories.

* In the end, people are left wondering how did a straw break a Camel's back ??! No one else can really Feel the load that was there before . So better to stay Light. Being carefree would be so much easier ...

Food for Thought :

A lovely dialogue from the funny movie Ghost Town :

" We just get the one life, you know. Just one. You can't live someone else's or think it's more important just because it's more dramatic. What happens matters. May be only to us, but it matters. "

Old 4 d New

2009-02-26T08:38:00.001-05:00

This is a Forward I'd read long back and found really interesting and useful as tips. Hope it helps some of you ( male / female ) out there as well !!!

Tell tale signs your relationship may not be perfect -

1)if a man wants you , nothing can keep him away. if he doesn't want you , nothing can make him stay.

2)stop trying to change yourself for u relationship that's not meant to be.

3)if he keeps changing his mind about the relationship or is forever postponing commitment, take that a big sign that he is unstable. do you really want to be with a man like that ?

4)don't stay because you think "it will get better ". you'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying having wasted all that time on someone who didn't deserve it.

5)the only person you can control in a relationship is you .don't fall for the "I'm confused role "remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him move on).

6)demand respect and if he can't give it .he can"have you "!

7)remember ,actions speak louder than words. but keep in time words are as important, at times.

8)never let a man define who u are.

9)A man will onl treat you the way u Allow him to treat you .

10)you should not be the one doing all the bending…………compromise is a two way street.

11)when it feels like it's time to let go ... let go. knowing you've tried you're hardest.

12)a real healthy relation ship requires two people one person can end it but it takes two
to make it work.

Angels in Disguise

2009-02-19T03:26:00.000-05:00

All God's angels come to us disguised. ~James Russell Lowell

Isn't this true? I do believe we each have our guardian angels who help us along the way but what about those angel like: people who reach out in our dark moments, pulling us out into the light.
After my Valentines piece, I came to the realization that I need to write even about those others out there who have made an ever lasting impression on me even in the One meeting that I've had with them .

Today's memory is about an Autorickshaw Driver in Bhopal. I was 15 I think, and used to drive my Luna ( two wheeler ) to my Computer classes. On the way back one day, just as I tried to start my Luna by running with it, it kicked back making a summersault and I fell as a result. I woke up in great distress, with tears in my eyes ( Hey ! I was hurting ) only to realize that the Luna's handle had kind of twisted and it just wouldn't start.

This was in times before cell phones, thus I had no way to contact home and was troubled thinking how in the world would I get home. So slowly, but surely I did the only thing I could think of and started walking home with the twisted Luna by my side. This was around 6 pm and it had started getting dark. Walking along a stretch of long deserted road, with a few sad shops on the side, my tears wouldn't stop as I heard men offering their help in various rude ways. After around 20-25 minutes of my relentless trudge, I heard an auto coming from behind. Seeing me, the driver very kindly and cautiously offered his help. He got out, put the Luna in the back of his Auto and had me sit in the front. As we got closer to home, I was aghast as the Luna handle scraped another man who was on his bicycle, who was all a Big drama queen, ready to create More trouble than he was in. The driver got out , told him to relax, had me give him what little money ( Rs. 20 ) I had in my book to him for his medication and had him on his way .

When we reached home, I ran up the stairs to tell my mother about what had happened, so that she could come down and pay the man. She came down, and had him put the Luna behind our car, thanking him profusely for helping me. When she offered him money, he refused, saying if it were his daughter in need, he hoped there was someone who'd have helped her as well.

6-7 months down, as I walked in the drizzle talking to a friend, I saw the autorickshaw guy again as he drove out of his way into our complex only to ask me how I was doing and if my parents were fine. After a minute of small talk, he drove off, to dissappear forever.

I don't remember his face. I don't remember his name. But I do remember often, the kindness he showed a girl stranded, expecting nothing in return.

Valentines Day Wishes !!

2009-02-15T07:22:00.000-05:00

Hey All !!! For those few who I've befriended I hope your Valentines was special , with candy like sweet memories and love that's lovlier than roses. No, we don't need One day to express our love but hey !! in the hob nob of every day routines, we can sure use an occasion to celebrate and pamper ourselves !!!

This Valentines post is dedicated to all those people who've made my life special!! For what is Valentines, but a reason to express gratitude for the Love by which you are showered ...

My Blog Visitors - Those people who've encouraged me by visiting my blog often and letting me know they like what they see :) . You have no idea what your appreciation means to me. I truly hope to make some lasting friendships out here, leaving a few impressions and learning a lot more than I came with.

For you all - A Happy Valentines I wish !!!

My Friends - Those special few, as I say time and again who've made life worth while. The ones I grew up with, literally and figuratively. The one who stood by me in my college days, always taking care of me, appreciating everything about me. The one whose known me since years together and is my secret diary, my tell all and yet stands by me caring for me. The one who gave me a new lease on life when chips were down, making me laugh, being there for me all the way. The one who changed my life totally by making sure I stood tall, giving me my confidence back and making sure I had a smile to on my face. The one who fights with me, in concern trying to look out for me. The one with whom I really connect with and enjoy talking my heart to. The one who held me when I cried and listened to all my rantings and ravings. The one whose advice I cherish and admire for all the hard work they put into any endevour. The one who brings loyalty to my life and a belief that Faith solves all. The one who fights me tooth and nail, rants with me, laughs with me, and still spurns me on. The one who teases me, laughs at me, bears my scoldings / teasing jovially and makes any day a good day by just being a part of it. The ones who are sprinkled across my life like blue moons, shining rarely but brightly. The ones with whom I learnt life's toughest lessons and can often, reminisce about fond moments gone by, which still bring smiles all around. You know who you are !!! :D

For you all - A Happy Valentines I wish !!! For my the love of your timeless Friendship I'm eternally grateful ...

My Family - My parents. Who've given me birth, brought me up with care, never leaving me in want of anything, always putting my needs before their own. Who've given me three times of what I deserve and yet, dream for me an even better future. Who've taught me life's important lessons, setting before me the ideals by which I today live. My mummyji and daddyji, who've showered me with kind love. Who've accepted me and care about me, as their own. Who've taught me many a new ways of life, with their stories, optimism and joviality. My brother, who I love more than life itself. Who brings a smile to my face, even when he's doing nothing but sleeping. :)) My devarji, whose a pleasure to have around, excuding warmth and care in his little ways. My relatives, the few I truly admire, always appreciating all that they've done for me and my family.

For you all - A Happy Valentines I wish !!! For your unconditional caring ways I bow my head.

My Husband - My compass. My friend. My lover. My soul mate. The one who gave me the gift of true happiness, bringing true all the dreams I had of my Prince Charming. The one whose taught me the true meaning of love, with his patience, caring, antics, stubborness, understanding !! I cherish every moment I spend with him in which he bears with my eccentricities, praying that all the years we have together are as blessed as the ones gone by.

For you - A Happy Valentines I wish !!! For the Gift of You, all my love I pledge ... I Love You !

Switch on / Switch off

2009-02-09T13:32:00.000-05:00

I came to an enlightment today. It's a fact and a heartless art that one needs to perfect though. Once acceptance for the said concept is achieved, I think I too May just be on my way to achieving Nirvana.

You know those people, who don't really care about you and yet when they meet you act like no one else in the world cares about you more. They are found sprinkled all across your life : people you grew up with, classmates, relatives, acquaintances, collegues or friends who shower you with " so called " concern once a month when they remember you or when you visit with them. They are right there to party or when they need something and then dissappear . And after meeting them, your blood boils wondering how can anyone be so mannerless or selfish or dense ?! Are they like that just with you or they never knew the meaning of the word " caring " and " respect". Those who you can't cut out from your lives and yet can't really stand being with. These are the usually the kinds looking out for Number 1, that are oblivious to the existence of others other than themselves, those that matter to Them and those who can be of Certain advantage to their future.

These are the kinds who make you wonder if there's something wrong with you. For every time you meet them, you try putting on a new kind of armor to adapt to their eccentricities and once they've left you find yourself hurt in places you didn't know existed. They make you question your own rationality and emotions and the essence of all that you've grown up with. They drain you of a Little bit of self respect each time you meet them and make you doubt the value of your existence.

For These people, I've come up with the On/Off switch. The one that makes us Just like them , for the time period during which we Are in their presence. When you see them, you switch on the charm meter oozing false love and once you leave their " esteemed " presence, you switch off their existence from your life. I know I know. It's hard to do that for most people, but you know what ? Once you accept these kind of poeple for what they are, it becomes relatively easier to deal with their self indulgences. For when you are with them, you are completely aware of the fact that you mean nothing to them and they mean nothing to you. And Thus when they treat you badly, you have all the freedom to act any way you prefer in the knowledge that none of it really matters in the grander scheme of things.

Now in this there's a twist when these people mean a lot to those close to you or people close to such people are the ones who cherish you, both of which are viable cases. It's a sad state of affairs in either case for people who truly care for you always care bout those you love as well, but then no one says life is fair. Well, you just learn to differentiate. Between the valuer and valued. Once the lines are drawn, everything is a shade clearer. Sure, it takes time. But hey !! it's worth the wait, once you wrap your head around the artificiality of it all. ( Note. : Head, Not Heart )

Why am I sharing this ??!! For I know like me, there are many other emotional fools out there who think mostly with their hearts, thinking that most people actually mean what they say. For whom respect, love, caring, relations, etiquette, and promises mean something. And are genuinely shocked/hurt when they find that for many in the world, words are just that : Words.

Here's hoping you come across few of such people and when you do, you have your Switch handy :D

Regret : The Bitter Pill

2009-02-09T12:52:00.000-05:00

I'm one for everything happening for a good reason, but is it possible to live without those little nagging questions called Regrets ? No matter what we do, how we do it, there's always that extra bit we could have done or that which we didn't do or wish we hadn't done. Isn't there ? Then why is it that people say , live life without regrets ? Is anyone that perfect that they can live a lifetime of perfect decisions ? Or is it possible that we Never look back and wonder about what went wrong? Making educated guesses / decisions are one thing, but we all are yet destined to go wrong once in a while right ? If not big ones, there are always those tiny little actions that may have meant something more to someone and caused a little lesser pain to another. So, I went online to my trusted quotes and looked up what the greats had to say and here is what enlightened me, atleast a little. I hope you all agree.

I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person.

I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I'd just been myself.

If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.

Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.

Regret is insight that comes a day too late.

To regret something is to hang yourself with your own noose. Mental suicide.

Regret is an odd emotion because it comes only upon reflection. Regret lacks immediacy, and so its power seldom influences events when it could do some good.

Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.

Accept the pain, cherish the joys, resolve the regrets; then can come the best of benedictions .

Apologizes are pointless, regrets come too late. What matters is you can move, on you can grow.

So I guess in the end, we all have our share of regrets. It's a bitter and mostly useless pill that one has to swallow but perfection is only God's business right? And then in some cases, it's realization that important. I feel sorry for those who refuse to face up to their mistakes and live lives in blind stubborness. If given a chance there are a Number of things I would like to do differently, but here I am, thankful for a few of them for they've made me what I am today and given me a Life that today gives me a million reasons to smile. :)

Money - The Mirage !!

2009-02-03T11:59:00.000-05:00

I often wonder about this. In a world where everyone is in pursuit of " happyness " through this source, I wonder when this pursuit can ever end ?! Is it enough to live life king size or do you need to have an empire ? Do you have to have enough to put your kids through college or do you have to keep a Lot away for retirement ? When is enough truly enough ?

If you ask any person walking on the road, they'll say all they need is food, clothing, shelter. They say money cannot buy happiness. But what about those people who do not have enough to eat? Those who do not have an education ? A home ? Those who cannot afford a lavish wedding ? Those who find themselves homeless after retirement ? On the one hand there are people who are hand to mouth and on the other spectrum there are people who have exploiting every possible avenue to gather as much as they can. And for what ? Why Do people need so much money ? Couldn't money and fame be exclusive of each other ?

Sure we all habour dreams of living a luxurious life with servants, cars, clothes, and attaining every possible dream that we think of during the day walking along a road. But not everything we see is necessary. The US started the credit culture. It was a facility initialized as a support to those in need. But today, most people use it to buy things they cannot afford or need. People have forgotten the importance of money and saving up for what they want. Why is it they no one hesitates to apply for loans and credits that they Know they cannot maintain ? And in today's day and age when things are totally inflated and unpredicatable, it's even harder to save up for that ever surprising rainy day. I wonder if the world would have come to this position if people would just think of what they truly need and who all they need to actually impress? Society today is based on showing off what you don't have. The one who flashes borrowed pearls and lives build on loans are the only ones thought important. Whatever happened to basic human sanity and being nice for etiquette's sake? Things are given more importance than people. Basic formalities are forgotten in the daze of bright flashy diamonds.

Do not misunderstand me. We all need to work towards a better tomorrow. A comfortable life that we can be proud of. A name that makes our elders look down on us with pride and our young ones look up in admiration. Even That is an art that can be fine tuned only in time. It's a regimen that needs to be developed like the exercise a person does to take care of his health. And once this talent is honed, a person can truly benefit of all it's potential. Saving up, taking the right kind of loans, spending for the right reasons, saying no with a heavy heart to what you love and yet know is not really required, putting money in the bank and watching it grow and finally affording the things that you have oft coveted much to your guilty pleasure. But in the mellee of fighting for the mirage that's tomorrow, it's seen that people in our lives today are left dissappointed, one way or another. If you say No today, you may risk losing out on things that money Truly cannot buy. And if you say yes, you get further away from dreams of your own. And then there are those few who'll work night and day with you , without you for what You've always desired. The life you make, either ways is highly dependent on the lives surrounding you.

I wonder often about this, for when I was young, with nothing but my parents and what little they had during the Gulf War, I saw those close to us moving away in an inexplicible fear. Till date, I think if those same people had known that my parents' had a lot saved up, if things would have been different for us as a family. Now too, I see the same happening in different forms and question the morality and values of those around. Can we then choose to live our lives exclusive of others ? I doubt it.

< Sigh !! > Life and it's diverse questions. I wonder often : if I'll ever get answers to the fears that haunt me.

Reality Shows or Bad Lessons ?!

2009-02-02T06:12:00.000-05:00

I was watching the reality show " Dancing Queen " the other day and was apalled at the statements / arguments being made by the contestents. What has happened to people these days? It's such a sad state of events when people have no control on their tongues on a show being watched by people of all ages. I was under the impression, that these shows were supposed to encourage talent, sportsmen spirit, while making the networks a ton of money through ignorant people who love spending their money smsing their votes. But the language being used and the tongue showing is a far cry from the maintained poise expected from any personality on television. Even if this is all a show for TRP ratings, I'm well aware that small children watch these programs. What example are they setting for these promises of tomorrow ??

And then yesterday, I saw the Star Screen awards. I was flabberghasted by the so called jokes being cracked by Mr.Sajid Khan and Mrs. Farah Khan. I've in a previous post mentioned my views on the importance of a good sense of humor. There is Nothing at all funny about men wearing girls clothes or begging for alms on tv or acting gay. I'm all for freedom of speech and choice of sexual orientation but some respect needs to be given to both these liberties given by society. Why is it that acceptance is shown by making fun of something ? It was totally distasteful by my standards and I'm sure others feel the same way that Ashutosh Gowartikar felt. Though, once again, his defiance and dissappointment could have been potrayed in a much better way. I found parts of his statement very compelling that people work very hard to achieve these awards and making a mockery of the industry and people recieving the awards during the proceedings and not letting them express their gratitude freely is an insult in more ways than one. I for one have never liked Sajid Khan's sense of humor, but to be frank this trend was started by SRK and Saif Ali Khan. Their jokes were still funny for the fact that some of the fun they made were dispelling rumors or flamboyantly joking about flops. But at times even they were tasteless and I wonder why No one stopped them at That point. Someone Might comment that the jokes are given by the Network hosting the show. But I'm VERY sure that No star can be compelled to Do something on Television that they aren't comfortable with.

On the other part there was Akshay Kumar rejecting his trophy. I'm only aware of what rumors I read in the papers but as a viewer I only considered it very sad for a Star of his stature doing that. Dedicating your award to another is one thing and leaving it behind , giving it to someone who Everyone knows Doesnt accept awards ( Aamir ) is demeaning in ways. I don't think it was a Selfless act. I don't know what it was or his reasons behind it, but I do know that it seemed unncessary.

All in all, I wonder what it is that the children of tomorrow are being taught via the one mode that's the Biggest source of entertainment. What happened to the values that were potrayed in the times before like self restraint, poise, glamor, elegance, laughing at yourself, being better than what you are, etc ? Sure, exhibit life at it is but don't forget to remind people of how LIFE should be. Now it's embarraising that award winning artists don't even have enough grace to stop chewing the gum in their mouths before coming on stage, which is Right up there with eating with your mouth open.

Ghajini - Dissappointment / Spoiler Alert !!!!!

2008-12-31T11:39:00.000-05:00

I don't get it. Before the movie, I was all hyped, after the movie, I was all hyper with agitation!! I know. I know. There will be those out there who think I'm an idiot for saying it but the truth is my negative reaction is in direct proportion to the expectations I had of it. I went online and all I read was Ghajini Rocks etc. But what about the movie rocks is my question? It reminds me of Raja Hindustani. No one liked it but everyone loved it. I just don't get it. Is it only Aamir that makes a movie work ? For one review was somewhat truthful in the fact that it said Ghajini is different in the sense that it celebrates it's dumbness. So, basically if you have Aamir, the aam janta will digest anything. That's so disturbing. What about story ? Characters? Theme ? Moral ? Editing ? etc etc ...

I for one, am someone who loves a movie to have a sensible story, a moral, any moral. Sure a movie is to get away from reality but then too, it should have part of it's feet in the present, on ground steering us towards a destination or driving by a scenery that leaves us awestruck or thoughtful. I don't usually write about movies I don't like but this is one movie that amazed me with the number of holes it has and yet is breaking every box office record!

The whole ride home I was ranting to my hubby about what all I couldn't digest about the movie. And he, a person of few words was so awestruck by the story's stupidity that this blog is about His thoughts on the same.

Ghajini - Defects in characterization/storyline ( if there was any )

Sanjay Singhania

Follows his Dad's ideals of doing business with emotion without being emotional.

Falls in love with a girl who is falsifying relationship with him and telling to friends, public and media, which might also affect his company's image after the underwear ad.

Then spends the rest of the movie hunting down people like animals only on emotion without using any of vast resources available to him as a CEO. So much about not being emotional :)

I agree anything for love, but never revealing his real identity because "he" thinks it is a good idea to keep it that way. It is same as saying that when he needs love he has the girl, but when the girl needs recognition of Sanjay Singhania, she has to live a lie to keep attaining all she needs. Not letting know her identity even after the girl falls for him sounds quite selfish to me.

He has the time and resources to gift an apartment in a secret way, but no time to think and arrange a way to tell the truth to his 'love'.

'Rab ne bana di jodi' was about loving the real guy, this movie's love department was about loving the false guy, till death. Sure it's almost poetic in it's irony but hey ! I think there's something to be said about being in love with someone who doesn't exist even. I wouldn't call it true love if I didn't know who I was in love with. I would even be royally upset, if I just gave away the One thing that wasspecial to me to arrange for money for a sick mother who also, doesn't exist.

He shares his 'secret' love life with his subordinates, uses company car for personal New Year Eve party with some small advertising company with no business interests, but doesn't use his CEO power to trace Ghajini's location using the mobile number and plan a good kill. Pretty dumb for a guy who is smart enough to equip himself with a camera and keeps notes of things to do after his memory loss.

After knowing that Kalpana is in danger calling cops would be nice especially if you have 1 minute to spare in the elevator. If you don't trust the cops, call your friends!!! What was he thinking? "I am going to beat all those goons and save Kalpana by flashing my American express ???!!!"

Kalpana Shetty

She is all social and bubbly, but she never tries to visit the Sanjay's house???? Know things about the Sanjay's family?? I think girls know these things naturally in the first few dates, let alone committing to marry the guy.

The guy she's with has a heart of gold, donating Rs 5 Lakh to a charity he doesn't know. Leaving a check of Rs 5 Lakh with people he doesn't know would certainly raise questions on his character, an underwear model with so much money, especially in India.

After Ghajini confesses to her about killing off girls, she goes home to her apartment. Who does that ? Call the cops ? Call your boy friend. Tell Someone, anyone. But hey, what can the poor girl do? She never knew her bf was a hot shot with money or she might have had some security.

Brave and clever Police Officer

He is shown as a clever cop who catches the criminal within 48 hours, but doesn't remember to call for backup or share his findings with his department???

While fighting with Sanjay he never ones shouts out that he's a police officer. He doesn't even want to tell Sanjay that he is a good cop and will be on his side in investigating the murder. Even when he gets caught with the girl the second time, that time too he chooses to leave the girl behind; with a murderer I might add and make a run for it. Wow!! No wonder people are scared to approach the police

Medical Student

She is all curious and methodical when she wants to know Sanjay's medical case, becomes his friend, and even steals and reads his personal diary. Only she knows how Sanjay remembers things using camera, photo, 15 min alarm. But when she drops Sanjay to Ghajini's place, she leaves him without those things.

Police Department

They remove Sanjay's clothes, but have no clue of what is written on his body "Kalpana was killed", "Kill Ghajini", phone numbers, does it ring a bell??? NO?? Ok, how about the pictures in his pockets, pictures of dead people with 'Done' in the bottom??? No??? Oh come on, at least he is not a normal guy with tattoos .. And the words 'murder' and 'kill' are on the body.... No one bothers to question the employees of what happened to this guy ??? I'd think it would be my first reaction to ask someone about what the tattoo on their body stands for.

15 min Plot

Ok, everyone knows 15 min is Not 15 min in movies, but the random time line is Never adhered to. This all after the fact that going from one place in to another place in Mumbai takes more than 15 minutes. Going from home to girls hostel, hospital to Ghajini's place. There is very little reference to the 15 min memory loss except in the last scene where he forgets who he was after.

All in all a colossal disappointment !! What upsets me is what they expect the audience to accept without question. The characters are finicky, the plot line shaky and common sense has not even a back seat.

I like Aamir Khan's movies for being quite appealing to the intellect. Characters who may not be completely real in his movies, but they were smart and were convincing. Main lead used to be the smartest one. Remember Dil, Taare Zameen Par, Sarfarosh, Lagaan, Dil Chahta Hai, etc. Sure there are bits and pieces of the movie that are commendable but a few well acted / shot scenes do not a film make. This movie doesn't have Aamir Khan signature on it !!

Goodbye 2008

2008-12-31T10:30:00.000-05:00

So, this is my last post for this year and what a year it's been. What better way to conclude than to summarize the past year. Most of my thoughts can be found penned here in bloggerville, but here's to what else made 2008 specially memorable.

Lessons Learned.

It's hard for elders to enjoy any place if it's out of their comfort zone, literally and metaphorically.

Enjoyment exists only among like minded people.

People find it hard to change, even if it means upsetting those close to you. It's easier for all around just to accept it.

Sometimes it's better to have out everything out in the open so that you can deal with it.

To forget something you need to concentrate on Now.

Expectations creep in even when you Think there's nothing to expect.

Some people are just too full of themselves to see what's happening around them.

If something pisses you off, it's better to let it subtly known rather than fret and fume about it later.

There are things about yourself that others misunderstand coz they are totally unique to you.

People you love have to put up with you, yet love everything about you.

When words hurt, you can't take them back but you Can be sorry and explain what you actually feel.

You hurt for those you love and there's nothing you can do to help them.

Good friends always ROCK !!! No matter the time, distance or even space ;)

When you're at home you miss your family and friends and when you're going to be with them all, you already miss your love before you've even left.

If you let it, time can change everything or nothing ...

Cherished Celebrations.

Joined Bloggerville and finally started putting down my thoughts in one place.

Valentines was a surprise in the Sahara.

Had a good holi with lipstick and green colors.

Got a digi cam for my anniversary.

Roamed and enjoyed Memphis totally.

Bear Mountain had a breathtaking view.

Had great fun showing parents the world around us.

Enjoyed a wonderful evening with DJ spinbad. First pub outing.

Birthday 08 was awesome peppered with surprises. Shopping, eating out, Cake, cards and a LOVELY lunch at Bateaux.

Enjoyed cooking new recipes of chicken, fish, Mediterranean, mexican, cakes, and traditional foodies all at home.

Had a traditional karvachauth.

Diwali totally Rocked this year, with friends, parties and games.

Jersey city will always be fun.

And all those special moments spent with my sweet hubby who's surprisingly always full of surprises !!!

Movies that Rocked my Mind.

Wanted
Dark Knight
Wall E
Pursuit of Happyness
August Rush
Bolt
Get Smart
Hancock
Rab ne Bana di Jodi
Jodha Akbar
Bachna ae Haseeno
Rock On

Will Smith - Admiration for Attitude

2008-12-20T00:05:00.001-05:00

The man does incredible movies. No movie of his goes without appreciation for his acting skills. Sure I am Legend and Hancock could have had anticlimactic endings, but hey ! Writing is not his forte, yet ! ;)Sure, he's incredible good looking but I for one, am a fan of the person. Every interview of his, every word that passes his lips is bursting with enthusiasm for life. Whenever I see him talking in interviews, I feel Every sentence he says should be punctuated by exclamation points!!! He's one for positive thinking, humor and the living life to the fullest. I admit I strive to have that attitude towards life some day. He stands for home schooling, learning constantly, exercising regularly. His motto, Read and Run Each Day. For a person who never graduated college and gained popularity at an early age, he comes across as an intelligent and genuine person , leaving his mark on this world in a special way.

When I read his interview the first time in reader's digest I was shocked and in total awed by his comments on education and totally fell in with his style of thinking which for me was a unique take. He's not just literate, he's Educated. Kids today Need to learn about Life, rather than stuff that they'll never need. They need to learn about their country, and heritage, besides and whatever else they need to make it in the life that they choose. Reading, writing and arithmetic are basics but other than that, what one needs to learn is what helps them in the talents they possess. Schools have too much peer pressure and thinking.

If some day I could sit with him or ask him what his mantra is in bringing up children. It's amazing his son of 16 years was sensitive enough to donate all his gifts to a children hospital after he was affected by his grandma's demise. He has a children council at home, which is always in effect. Like when his kid asked for a 100 dollar allowance, he told all the kids to gather in a room and once inside, they had an Actual 45 min discussion and came out with the number of 40$, having come to the conclusion their brother didn't need a 100 dollars a week with his current life style. It's amazing that he even came up with this thinking. Sure, there might be others out there with the same techniques but having heard something like that for the first time, I am totally in admiration of this person who just shines on screen in Every way , a person, actor, husband and parent.

I Didn't Mean That !!!

2008-12-19T23:11:00.000-05:00

As I said before, I'm coming forward with a kind of synopsis of the Book " I Didn't Mean That " in my own words. The book's heading reads " How to Avoid Misunderstandings & Hurt Feelings in Everyday Life." And that's what it's all about. Those few moments which leave you with misguided consequences. This book with quite a number of examples in the form of stories from lives of people just like us is a wonderful light house for those of us bumbling to figure out what went wrong or how best to avoid unpleasant situations. :D

A few pointers from the book to give an idea of what it's about. I've found the book a keeper and am certainly going to keep dipping into it's pool at times of distress. Here's hoping that others find it just as beneficial.

Questions to ask yourself during any given situation -

Who am I speaking to ?
What am I not seeing ?
Where will my words lead me ?
How will the other person react to my words ?
Why must I say it at all ?
When do I say it ?

WHO

Be extra careful when emotions like blame, mistakes, contempt and disappointment run high. Those affected are usually those closest to you. At this point think of WHO it is you're talking to. Imagine all the good in that person and all that you have shared. Calming down before you bring forth any words that come forth due to rampant feelings.

WHAT

You don't always have to say it as you see it. Honesty, casual chats, curiosity, breaches of confidence are never excuses to say whatever you want to. What you may Not be seeing in the far future comes to use in those times when you have to look a little into what maybe playing in the back ground. A little tact, self discipline, and forethought would surely take you a long way.

WHERE

Judging, badgering, seeking attention, venting are situations when you're own words would come back to haunt you making you regret all you've said. Where your words might lead you should be given some serious thought.

HOW

Words can make or break a person or relation. You should think about How best to make your words count when giving advice, taking sides, accepting gifts, and coming to a compromise. Developing an awareness of the other person's feelings will help you realize what how to make amends or help during conflicts. Trying to put yourself in another's shoes will assist you in seeing where another is coming from.

WHY

Difficult people tend to make you say things you normally wouldn't. Remember - you have control only on yourself. When you speak ethically, it may create a ripple effect and lead to thoughtfulness on others' part too. Those who are rude, grumpy, criticize or brag may get under your skin but giving them back in kind is not always the answer. Though tempting, the only result guaranteed are frayed nerves. If you feel your words won't help then the best options are to say as little or nothing, without appearing rude. It avoids any unnecessary negativity and puts you in a position of strength.

WHEN

People need kind words letting them know they are appreciated in any big or small way. Compliments, encouragement, empathy, consolation go a long way in letting another know you care. The time for such words in always now, here.

In conclusion -

Know your audience.
Understand and be clear about what you are saying.
Use appropriate language.
Only say what needs to be said.
Speak at appropriate time and place.
Know yourself and the person/ people listening to you.

************************************************************************************

Sure, all the above are ideal case scenarios and it's always easier said than done. But if keeping in mind a few things helps us go a long way in making our lives better then why not ?! After all life Is about trying till we succeed. We all have people in our lives who misunderstand us or wish we could get along better with. Why not try and make things better for all those around ?

Pick up a Shoe !!

2008-12-19T14:47:00.000-05:00

I wonder what was going through the mind of the Iraqi who threw the shoe at Bush?! Venting out his frustration in lieu of the many who are silent in the face of what's happening in their nation, I pressumed. I can only venture a guess for he certainly isn't standing by his point by putting forward an apology. Albeit it appears that the apology may have been obtained by beating him pulp after the afore mentioned incident. I also wonder what he, this Hero of the masses thought would happen immediately After he threw the shoe that was so mildly dodged. Not unlike another hero who inspired, was willing to hit the CEO of the MTA with His shoe against the injustice of his enjoying huge salary benefits when others are suffering under the bout of recession.

A lot goes through my mind as I think about this world famous incident. An act that has been praised by Billions around the world. An act that has given hope to many, with a seemingly daring, cheeky action. I wouldn't want to condone such behaviour but I'm forced to admit it gave me immense joy when I came to know of it. That someone had taken a stand in way that brought attention to what the Iraqies have been going through. With a single throw he's shown the contempt most people feel for Bush and his administration.

During the recent Mumbai attacks, a friend of mine had said that she would love to see the politicians all lined up and beaten with shoes for the way our country has been mishandled over the years. But I came back with the remark, is that there is no point of holding sentiments that few will stand up and fight for. No one in today's world thinks that such actions are worth it. Few today inspire people the way leaders of yesteryears like Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa did.

The world needs a reform, in a major way. Every piece of our society big or small, materialistic or emotional is slowly but steadily rotting to it's core and everyone is just too blinded by their own life to realize it. Everyone is quick to point fingers and place blame but how many actually DO anything about it or anything for that matter. I myself was Very disturbed by the Mumbai Blasts. Somehow I felt mad at Everyone who stands by letting things slide, thinking it's ok. This doesn't matter. But when will people realize that Every little bit matters. When someone stands by and lets another be mugged. When someone says nothing when another is treated wrongly. When someone accepts lies and betrayals as a part of the world. When someone denines another justice for power, money or relations. Each one says, why should I do something, for it does not affect me. No one realizes that all of it adds up to the summation of something big that finally rocks the morals of today's world and then we can do nothing, for we have done nothing so far. What is the point of lighting candles, sending forwards, joining groups, talking, joking, taunting, when you actually DO nothing !!! Even at the littlest injustice that we ignore today, is like a snowball rolling down the hill, gathering momentum, increasing in size causing an avalanche that destroys Everything under it.

Thus when that Iraqi with his shoe or the man at the MTA with His shoe, raise their hand in response to the wrongs of society we need at the least appreciate the conditions that lead them to that step and make sure we too stand up for all that we know is right. So, pick up a shoe. No, No, I mean metaphorically. Taking a stand against whatever you see going wrong in your life or with those around you. Raise your voice and fearlessly, truthfully speak of what needs to be done right. Share your concerns with another and together right a wrong. For if things keep going the way they are, tomorrow one of two things will happen. Someday either we will all be standing on roads with shoes in our hands. Or we will all be left without shoes to wear ...

Unblocked , somewhat ...

2008-12-15T17:39:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time since I've posted anything. I wonder why that is. Not from lack of desire. But there's just too much going in rather than coming out. I sat many days open to my screen looking at it blankly hoping One thing pops up. I calculated the other day and I've read an almost a 100 books in the past year. Life seems to have come to a standstill of sorts and lots has been amounting to nothing and vice versa at times. That's besides the point though.

Today is about some of what I've been enjoying.

Author Fern Michaels - Totally refreshing, flowery writing. Her smart alec quips and girly comments leave me with a smile. Fantabulously loud characters and vibrant heroines. Something different from the usual thrillers I tend to pick up.

Series Raising the Bar - A different perspective of the law, from the point of view of those who are helpless and willing to change for the better. People who commit crimes or are just tangled up in the system and fighting for a way out. Truly amazing. I'm not ashamed to say, I'm moved by each episode.

Series Leverage - For those who enjoy fast paced, well thought out plans with a dose of action, willy repartee, amazing acting all put to use outwitting the bad guy. People who enjoy movies like The Italian Job, Oceans Eleven, Mission Impossible etc , will surely get a kick out of this one.

Book I Didn't Mean That - Ever had the feeling you need a few guidelines to tell you how to handle people who irritate the hell out of you. Or sometimes just wish you'd not have put your foot in your mouth. Or wondered why a misunderstanding occurred. This book is for you. I'm going to be dedicating a blog to it myself soon. So those of you interested, stay posted !

Well that's it for today. I'm updating my blog to have books I've read and enjoyed, series, movies, etc. Would love it if those of you who come by here would put in some of what you enjoy as well ...

Till later then !!!

Second Chances : Stand 4 Urself !?

2008-11-10T10:52:00.000-05:00

I thought to put in a few more words elaborating my thoughts about second chances ...

Giving second chances itself is very tricky for most of us confuse second chances and end up getting taken for granted, which is dangerous. Second chances should be given Only when you are convinced things will be different the second time round. Or if there were some deep misunderstandings, third party meddling or equal fault lies with both parties in the first place. Sometimes you just need to look beyond the haze of errors to see the goodness of a person's heart and recognize what you feel for them. Slowly, a step at a time, think about what you are willing to risk by losing or taking the next step.

Other than that, a lot of times people run out of all the chances, big or small that they are given and at some point you just HAVE to put your foot down. Either make your feelings known or back away. Even after knowing your feelings if they continue in the same tone of actions then it's better to let go. For some one who lets you down in every way, should Never be be allowed to demean your self respect ever again. If someone does not respect Your feelings then they do Not deserve to have them in the first place. Indifference and negligence merit nothing but the same.
For like I said before, human nature doesn't usually change. You need to be sure about what happened in the previous incident. In the end it's the Intention that counts. If someone hurts you intentionally, they might just do it again. A person's reasons for hurting you define what they are made of.

At this point, I want to bring up something that often bothers me about human nature. When we see someone behaving wrongly, why is it that we stand by saying nothing, thinking it's not my place for they are " GOOD " to me Now. How does one forget the Now part? As far as my observation goes, a person who treats someone else badly will surely do the same to you at one point or another. Then why is it that later we wonder, why did they act like that with me ?! Most people just aren't aware of the wrongs they do per day, which is why we all need a human compass in our life to let us know the right direction. Then there are those who just don't care, rising above the situation but how can anyone stand by seeing people make wrong choices. If only people chose to do the right thing, and stood by whatever we believed in the world would be a better place. This holds true for more than one situation.

As for second chances, important as it is to make an informed decision it's up to each person and situation. In any case, a stand should be taken depending on what you believe in. One never knows what tomorrow holds. That is Why, it's called a CHANCE.

D Best can make the Worst & Vice Versa ...

2008-11-07T19:50:00.000-05:00

It's a special day for a close friend of mine. She has many reasons to celebrate this day. And I wish her nothing but the Best in life. Many joys, tears of happiness, silver linings to every cloud and moments that turn into cherished memories...

But it wasn't always like this. We met, grew really close and due to unforeseen and unimaginable circumstances turned into adversaries. And after a long absence, thanks to her many overtures and going deep into the causes and faults of the said rift, we came close once again like a life boat to a lighthouse. Today, though we have lands and oceans between us, we laugh, cry, talk and reminisce about what was and what will be.

Today, as I heard her laugh at my gentle teasing, I wondered about the volatility of human relations. Best friends turn into enemies and adversaries into confidantes. Friends turn into lovers. Lovers into strangers. Strangers into a couple. And a once happily married couple become divorcees. People you like become those whom you cannot stand the sight of. Acquaintances become best of friends, standing by your through thick or thin. Sometimes, bridges get burnt permanently. Other times, we look across at the other side and work towards coming to the middle, together building all that's lost. Of course, all this is not at the drop of a hat. There's a lot happening behind these intricate webs of feelings. A silly misunderstanding, a growing sense dislike, lost self respect, a third party manipulation, memories of good times, expectations, passion, compatibility or lack there of, and then there is the desire to regain what was lost or lose what is pulling you down. Could be just nothing or everything.

But there is something to this whole thing about giving second chances. To a loved one, a friend, family, yourself even. Sure, human nature doesn't essentially change, but over time we can always realize the importance of what was lost and it's never too late to try to make something of it. Every relation and it's absence has a reason, season or rhyme,and it's extent in one's life is Only for the two involved to decide ...

Kudos to those few who get a second chance and make the most of it. For the rest cherish what you have ; or decide where you stand. Cheers to You, My Sweet Friend for bringing yourself back into my LiFe!!!

Question on Missing Persons ??

2008-11-02T15:34:00.000-05:00

I brought this up with a few friends the other day and thought it worth bringing up here in bloggerville. In the US, I've seen in movies and on news that once children or anyone goes missing, it's assumed that the child / person may be found fastest among the first 24 hours and then the chances keep getting slimmer. Which actually makes sense if you think of it logically.

On the other than in India, one may not file a missing report till a being is missing for 72 hours. I wonder what logic that comes from. Is it from assuming that a person has run away from home or is just lost close to home. But isn't it better that one starts searching for a kid lost or kidnapped as soon as it's established that they are not at home ? Or maybe I've just got things wrong. In today's violent times it's better to be more cautious and put in extra efforts at the onset only. And taken precautions is always better in order to prevent any wrong doings. If someone can clarify for me the policy on filing missing person's complaints.

My brother was lost once when he was really young. The usual kid losing his way looking at something else and a misunderstanding among adults of who the kid is with. This is more often than not the case. Albeit for a few hours, but I still shudder at the memory of thinking that I'd lost him forever and am repulsed at the thought of what might have happened. I'm till date thankful for him listening to my kiddie advice of staying where I left him last, wondering at the miracle that brought him back to us. I just pray that many more such miracles bring people back home safe and sound ... God speed !

Shub Deepavali !!

2008-10-28T16:20:00.000-04:00

Wishing all the people out there to whom I connect through my blogs a Very Happy Diwali and a Prosperous New Year !

Well, the day we look forward to most of the year is here. And surprise surprise ! It came with snow today. Came early this year and added a touch of magic to the festivities ...

It's amazing na ?! Whenever a festival or celebration comes across there seems to be a surge of magical mist in the air ! I for one, feel like the hearts of everyone around me is resounding with positive happy thoughts.Everyone I know has decorated their house, lit up candles, shared their desires with God and extended their wishes to loved ones. People in one way or another, small or big, find expressions to their joy. The few bystanders who do not care to make it a big bang, too get pulled into the melee. People of all religions join together in celebrating whatever occasion comes up. Which brings me to the thought that all differences aside, each one of us is tied to the other by the desire to be happy, celebrating in our own ways the little moments that come our way !! Extending towards others the joys that our hearts feel, wishing them happiness and joys of their own. And that is something truly miraculous ... Isn't it ?!

Injustice - Yet Unheard & Unseen !!

2008-10-13T13:03:00.001-04:00

Hi All ,

Have you Ever wanted to make a change ? Matter to the world? Make a change ? Want to do something different for India, instead of just standing by and Talking about what could be different? Well, here's your chance to make a difference in the life of another....

I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Milind Ranade yesterday. He brought to me the story of the contractual conservancy workers in India. I can bet that You as a Indian or other national, would Never have thought about the person who collects your garbage down the street and the inhuman conditions of his existence.

It started in 1996, with him and a colleague traveling in the bus, stuck in traffic. They looked out of the window to find the source of the putrid smells assaulting their senses and were Horrified to see three men having their lunch, sitting on TOP of the garbage heap !!! The heap was in a garbage truck used to haul the day's garbage to be disposed of . Having been involved in social work for a while, after a lot of internal discussion he and his colleague decided to follow those people to their place of work and around town. And they were further shocked by the conditions in which these men worked. Not only did they do ALL the garbage collecting, loading, unloading by hand, but they had No facilities to speak of, be it water, gloves, boots or a place to sit once they finished their rounds. On further investigations they found that the group of people, who are on contract ( ie Not direct BMC employees) are paid a mere Rs 30 for every round they make that is alloted to them in a day. The usual run is of 3 rounds a day, come hail or shine. The contractors hiring them put trucks of the lowest quality in circulation, that are on the verge of being sent to the scrap yard. And the along with that, they hire 3 people per truck to run on the rounds. These workers do 3 times the work of the BMC employees, and yet are provided with None of the amenities required by LAW. On the question of Why people are hired such, is that This is a golden egg for people at different levels of the hierarchy in our govt system which is infested with corruption, for Cheap labor that can be exploited easily.

This bit of knowledge was followed by a video that the KVSS ( His Organization ) have put together since 1996. Starting with videos of men collection all the filth by hand. Places like vegetable markets, slaughter houses, hospitals, gutters were gone through with with help of Only a fork, spade and bucket. These places from various cities and parts of Mumbai like Kurla, Dagar were full of veggie leftovers, decaying animal parts, needles, medications, hospital throw aways, even human parts ( hospitals do Not prefer using Their incinerators for the purpose of cost cutting) etc. This was followed by a clip of a man confessing to being an alcoholic so that he didn't get jitters when he worked. Dogs could be seen going through the trash side by side. Another clip of a man, going into a gutter Full of drain water to enable smoother flow without any protective gear. Next came a man who was washing his hands in the drain water flowing out of the truck's pre loaded garbage followed by close ups of sores and rashes on such working mens' bodies. Needless to say these were all appalling and nauseating sights. Then came a clip of their first Morcha that was a hunger strike for their rights in 1997, for things like water - drinking & washing which was successful after 2 days. They got the water on the pretext, Not of Rights of a worker but on Humanitarian grounds. Next came a few clips of Mr. Milind Ranade trying to make people aware of their rights. People of different languages they got together by coaxing, convincing and making aware slowly and surely. Next came a video the morcha they had recently on the August 14th, having organized more than 3000 people for the right to working boots and gloves. The ultimatum being, if they weren't provided with the right work gear, they would gift the Additional Municipal Commisioner with shoes the workers collected from their work place, ie Garbage Dump. The shouts of "Joote do ya Joote lo" resounded in the air, as men were cordoned away from the BMC office by police trucks and later arrested. This resulted in their getting the work shoes sanctioned with the bonus of a Leave on August 15th.

This was just the video. Mr. Milind also shared with us the story of the Chaddi Baniyan Morcha in 98. Also, the story of how a man died in an accident while he was on the job. Having no proof of his employment no office was willing to take ownership of the consequent expenses and payments. And that wasn't the first time. TB and other diseases are rampant as well. That's right ! They have no attendance cards, salary slip, social security, insurance slip, agreement contracts, nothing besides the injustice of being paid a meagre amount for their efforts. Women work the whole of night shift. They are like ghosts in our system. A life of hardships, illiteracy, horrid working conditions, and nothing to show but misery for it . For any contractor, having more than 20 workers license is required, so they keep exactly 18 people in employment at any time. What was specially surprising was with all the work Mr. Milind and his colleagues and volunteers have put together, politicians, government officials, all come up with ways to get out of the the Acts passed and find a loop hole to work around them. Like Now in Mumbai, Contract workers are Not payed accordingly coz by a recent Law they are called " Volunteers ". In Pimpri Chinchwadi( Pune district), govt has started making workers ( illiterate ) sign One to One contracts stating that they themselves are Contractors, and Thus they cannot claim bonuses, equal wages or permanency for those are meant for workers, not their contractors. A committee ( Prime Minister's Council on Trade and Industry) was formed for suggesting amendments in Labor Laws in 2000 by Vajpayee, amusingly comprised of Tata, Birla, Wadia and Mittal. No representation of the labor was present. A set of laws were created which were soon loop holed into oblivion.

None the less, Mr. Milind Ranade ( General Secretary ) and his colleagues Mr. Vijay Dalvi ( Secretary ) and Mr. Deepak Bhalerao ( President ) have along with all the people they slowly but surely brought together made immense change in the 10 years that they have been working on this cause. They have organized the working group into a union and are fighting for their rights in the courts, on the roads and now are moving onto other forums to challenge a system which has systematically exploited the bottom rung of the working class. From the top leader in the political ranks to the last contractor, everyone has their cut in this engine of corruption, that's running thanks only to the the un awareness of this un educated group who were un aware that a change Could be brought about. As a result of their prolonged battle, they have successfully helped 1200 workers in Maharashtra to become permanent employees of the BMC in 2006. Salaries have now increased from Rs. 1800 to Rs. 10,000. with facilities like leaves, bonus, provident fund, pension after retirement etc along with amenities like water at work place, rainy shoes, masks and other safety gears from the contractors. They created a concept of Bewada Register in which wives of alcoholics could come and register their complaints. Consequently, the wages of the alleged alcoholic are collected by a union representative and then distributed by their organization to the family. Thanks to the union's efforts, 35 men are now recovering alcoholics. Education is promoted and awareness of their rights, hygeine and laws is propogated. What is truly admirable is that all the work they have done is with No financial assistance from Any One person or Organization. All the money they've used is of the workers and people who Had once donated money have had their money returned to them. Currently, workers have contributed a total of Rs. 50 Lakh, creating a corpus that is to be used for the benefit of OTHERS like them. KVSS ie Kachara Vahatuk Shramik Sangh formed in 1997 . is now spreading surely across other ares like Nagpur, Amaravati, Nashik, Latur, Nanded, Parbhani and Sangali in the state of Maharashtra and is now working to start a socio political movement in all such working situations in the whole of India. They are now representing even single workers from remote villages in their litigations so as to further include any states willing to participate in the ventures.

The Organization is Now looking to create a global awareness on This topic so that they can successfully rally this movement in all the states of India. They are also on the look out for volunteers who desire to make a change, willing to commit a few years of their life to this noble cause. The thought behind total commitment for a said number of years is that One needs to Really connect to these people if any difference is to be made. Total and relentless dedication, understanding their plight and empathy is what is required from anyone willing. Also, people from the working class may find it difficult to be truly dedicated as this work involves a lot of litigation and continual correspondence. The donations they will Now be collecting will be for the sustenance of those people who will be appointed in the different cities for said purpose. The difference in their approach is that they are working towards bringing a Change, not only by creating awareness but by Challenging the system from every possible angle. Of course, with total transparency and viable discussion in place.

For pictures please view attached.

What You can do to help is one the the following -

*. Contribute monetarily any amount and in any way to their Trust called Navjeevan Samiti, that's registered under Public Charitable Trust Act. For contributions you can contact the given addresses / emails.

*. If you are or know of anyone willing to become a member of this Change, come forward to dedicate yourself to this cause.

*. They are also looking for volunteers in Any field to help create More awareness, through any form of media / organization. Any fresh ideas or help in any form is most welcome.

*. If Nothing else, Forward this mail to as many people as you can, letting more people know of this problem in India, in the hope that people out there will empathize with this working class who are an integral part of our Society !!

* Please do Not treat this as a junk mail or play pranks or jokes using this information. This is a serious issue that deserves Serious Thought & Action.

Many thanks to Mr. Milind Ranade for making Me and others like me aware of another Naked Truth of Our Corrupt Bureaucracy & Subsequent Injustice of the Unorganized Weaker Section.

Best Wishes to Him and ALL those who are working towards a Better Future for The above.

Raymond's Best Man Speech. < snip, snip >

2008-10-11T14:16:00.000-04:00

I love Everybody Loves Raymond. Saw an episode " Robert & Amy's Wedding " where everything in Robert's ( ie. Raymond's elder brother) wedding is going wrong and all the people involved are miserable. Eventually, the most beautiful day of the wedded couple's lives turns into a comedy of errors. At which point, Raymond has to give his best man's speech. In the speech he talks about the " importance of editing in our lives.". How it's sometimes essential just to edit out all the wrong things and look at what's right. He goes onto making fun of each family member's quirks and the goodness they all have in them, celebrating Their special moments together. An episode worth watching out for.

Loved the sense it made. To cut out the bad memories in our life, being thankful for all that we are blessed with that makes us smile. It's almost magical, how we can just edit out all our pain and misery just by repeatedly thinking about all that was good. Our brains are amazing in their capacity of shelving away episodes of our life that we just don't think about. Sure! Not all nightmares can be ignored, but it's just commonsense that mulling over what could have been done differently or what went wrong is Never going to help for the past can never be brought back. It's not about acting like bad things haven't happened. It's about cherishing all the good that Has happened. After all, if not for the bad, how would we know when life was better ?! That's where forgetting and forgiving comes from I guess, to give us the ability to move on. Isn't it a wonderful option - to edit out all the bad moments from our past, choosing to live life a little more happily ?!

Freedom Writers, Darwin's Theory n Dussehra !

2008-10-09T11:01:00.000-04:00

Touching on three different topics today. Will try to keep it short -

Freedom Writers -
I saw the movie : Freedom Writers yesterday. One of those movies that get you to actually Think. You actually feel for those innumerable kids out there who just don't know right from wrong anymore. If only all teachers today felt that passionately about teaching their students about life. IF only people realized their self worth, keeping in mind that any other person too is special in their own way.It's so sad that children in today's world consider each day a war and getting through each one is a turmoil in itself. There are people out there who have no idea there's a better world out there. If only someone reached out and showed them what else they could achieve, just maybe they too might see things differently. A quote comes to mind " Treat someone as they are, and they'll remain that way. Treat them as they could be, and they'll become what they should be. "Once again my personal thoughts about education were re affirmed. We desperately need a change, in more ways than one.

The Darwin Awards -
Now here's a book whose cover reads - " commemorating those individuals who ensure the long term survival of our species by removing themselves from the gene pool in a sublimely idiotic fashion. ". I must confess I did Not read the cover. I browsed through the book, read one or two accounts and thought, " Ok ! Here's a book on stupidities of people. Should be hilarious. " and picked it up from the library. What it is, is a number of different morbid accounts of how people's idiotic actions have led to their death. Now my question is, what kind of world is it, when people mock the death of others ? Whatever the fashion, whatever the reason, I'm sure no one wants to be remembered for what they did wrong. Sure, some accounts, about thefts, thoughtlessness, and pure insaneness are humorous, but I cannot for the life of me crack a smile when someone's stupidity led to their Death. Cmon people ! We are better than that... And the kicker is, this book is the first in a Series ... Imagine that. Check out the site.

Happy Dussehra !!

In dark hours, I vent, rant, whine, even wallow in self pity occasionally, but have discovered that never have I let go of my faith in hope for a better tomorrow. They say, people who don't go through storms can never become able sailors. I've been through enough storms now to know that I am stronger, a little wiser, and most importantly that if you truly believe in what you stand for, all else falls into place. And I wish the same of all those out there who oscillate between decisions. In the end of it all, no matter what the situation, we should desire the satisfaction of doing the right thing, a concept that is becoming blurry by the minute today.On a day which symbolizes the good conquering all evil, I imagine a future, where one day we'll be able to remove all the grays from the world and color them with honesty, purity, prosperity and happiness. I send out a prayer for everyone hoping that the brightness of Today leads you to the path that's true, helping lighten all the suffering n fears you may have. Happy Dussehra to One and ALL !

A tryst with the Old Dude ...

2008-10-07T11:30:00.000-04:00

The other day in the mall. we decided to have lunch. Picking up our trays we walked over the a table already occupied by an elderly gentlemen. He got to talking to us about our food habits as Hindu Indians and till the next hour regaled us with anecdotes from his past, sharing with us life's many lessons. He talked, we listened, our apprehension growing into amusement. Being a teacher and a Jew, he had a LOT to say about all cultures, education, politics, and just how people were. What surprised me was even though from a by gone era ( he was young when Gandhi was assassinated), he had such a humorous yet modern and open minded view about everything. He was sharp and intuitive, noticing the smallest detail and he was well aware that he was monopolizing our time :). As I listened to him, I wondered if most people saw the world through eyes like his, then the world would certainly be more comfortable to be in. Once more I realized that people who live through a variety of experiences and are well read are a real boon to society for their view point is from above and Not a corner of the world. Though we immensely enjoyed our long sit down with him. it brought me thinking about people his age...

Why was it that this colorful man was in a mall, looking out for people just to listen to him ?
Was his family just busy or indifferent? Or was it that being independent he loved to go out and roam around sharing his knowledge with who ever was willing to listen? For whoever We told of this man,said, " awww, he must just want to be heard. ". It's like people assume that his family is just too plain busy to give him time. But giving them the benefit of doubt, couldn't it be that they have already heard those stories a million over or maybe He's alienated them with his thinking. Sure I loved what he had to say, for I agreed with it all. But what about those who do not agree. Or who in turn want to be heard? For I couldn't help noticing, in the one hour He spoke he asked us very few questions whose answers he ignored or turned into another story. Stories about his time in the army, opportunists, the people from different cultures he'd come across, his loving partnership with his wife, their cooking skills, his daughter, the importance of education, and the need for more teachers in the jersey county. Through it all, there was a common thread of self assessment and laughter, yet there was very little leeway for us to get a word in .. LOL.

I'm well aware that over time that people get really set in their ways. Specially once they get past 40 or so. But is it so hard to try and Listen to what your young ones have to say ? I know elders prefer teaching whatever they've learned but if you really want to connect to someone shouldn't communication be two way? Also, with certain people, it's hard to want to be with someone whose got rules for Everything. From sitting to talking. They have their own schedules and crowd to adhere to and fitting that into another life style is hard,I'm sure. Young children are like sponges, they absorb everything, but they also need to be able to express themselves. Is it so hard then to understand why children Sometimes once grown up avoid being with elders. Then they have favorites. When you see difference in treatments, you tend to mimic that as well and that's when you start having favorites too.

I admit I don't have a solid hang on this, for I'm projecting my personal experiences and each one's observations are unique. I know in the end, all anyone wants is love and respect but I guess my own point is, children though younger on the age scale also deserve to be heard. I just wish once in a while, elders actually Listened and were genuinely Interested in what was being said understanding what we have to say, preferring discussion and fun to lectures or formality. Would certainly make actual connections easier to maintain ....

In any case, if we never meet again John Lewis - Thank you for a lovely afternoon !

More than a particle ...

2008-10-02T12:19:00.000-04:00

I really wish life came with an itinerary. A list of all the places we'll be at, in our lives. 10 years back I would never have imagined that I would be where I am today, physically and mentally. So much has changed, and will keep changing. And now, I wonder where I'll be next ...

How many times a day do you think that? I had a long conversation yesterday about what one would do, if they chose to leave their present way of life. And I realized that I'm not the only one worried about where I'll be few years down the line. How will I accomplish all that I want to? Will all my current plans work out or will life throw a new curve ball? In that case, will I have to start over once again? My uncle is hospitalized and it's once again shaken me. Nothing can be taken for granted. I don't want to end up being a particle in the sands of time. A million permutations and calculations run through my head 24 / 7, of what more I could do and how to better our lives. A few bright ideas aside, I'm deemed preoccupied and restless. This is not something new, but then of late, I somehow feel times running out and I need a jump start of sorts. I know I'm going somewhere, I just don't know where. But then if I don't know where I'm going, I doubt I'll reach anywhere...

Is that the case with most of us out there ?! Moving randomly, searching for an aim. What would you rather being doing RIGHT now ?

Times A changing ...

2008-10-01T10:50:00.000-04:00

It's that time of year again ! The air is turning cooler, the days are turning darker earlier and the festivals are creeping in. Eid has just gone by. Navratri and Halloween are up next bringing up Diwali and Thanksgiving and then Christmas. It's almost time for the lights to go up and the dancing will soon begin. In today's global crowd, no occasion goes by uncelebrated one way or other. The social networking sites are full of wishes from acquaintances n friends all over the world, giving even the internet a joyous feel. And in the real world, happiness and hope are in the air as the weather changes and the decorations go up. Family is missed and little traditions are revived! The world turns into a carnival of colors n decor. A second chance to all those at crossroads of life. Life doesn't give second chances often but like all else, opportunities of restarting or reconciliations have to be taken. And festivals provide the perfect excuse. All else is re inventing, so why can't we? In every way possible, with every one possible. To begin all anew in life with blessings, best wishes, prayers and of course Festivities.

So, what are you waiting for ? The time is now. Go forth n frolic ...

Politics - A fresh start !

2008-09-28T22:37:00.000-04:00

Not one to have ever taken interest in news, let alone politics, I find myself taking an active interest in both of late. With the elections coming up and the many calamities recently, I find the air charged with an unnatural intensity. You know, the kind where you feel something is going to happen?! I find myself apprehensive, specially with no definite knowledge of what the coming days will bring but being in no position to be of any consequence to the financial sector or nature, I can only continue fostering opinions.

The debate is finally on. I've been looking forward to how it actually works. I just love the concept of two parties standing up for what they believe in vocally, without fist fights or rudeness. Pot shots and off the cuff remarks are excused for the spice they provide. What is a debate but a kinda verbal joust between two intellectuals, which trying to convince the audience of their view points. And after the recent debate, I find John Mccain truly lacking in conviction in himself, let alone his campaign for president. I just can't be convinced in the capabilities of a person who cannot make eye contact or show any kinda charisma while on stage in front of His countrymen. Specially, when you are vying for the post that the whole world keeps an eye on. On the other hand, Barack Obama seems to fit the bill of a President in all manners. He's the kinda person who just exudes confidence. He's the kinda man, I wouldn't have any problem going up and asking for help were I ever in trouble. His body language, his tone, his eyes, all convey to you his conviction in his own words. That's the person who should be president. Mccain's age and charisma aside, I never agreed with his politics either. When I look at their views on the current Issues, it seems only natural for Obama to be in the driver's seat of this country. With due respect to his experience, I think today most countries today need a younger person to lead them into a new era. And here, I am not talking of Sarah Palin for she just seems too raw to be holding any kind of office. When talking about issues, talk about issues. When in an election, focus on your role in the same. Do not try and deflect from task by using disasters as a crutch. That's like a magician pulling a carrot back out of the hat, instead of the rabbit and making up a lame excuse for the same. And after the debate, it's clear as day, that the whole ruse of not campaigning was nothing more than a bluff that didn't work. No one needs such a person in a position of responsibility.

I can't vote here. As an immigrant I have limited options. But I have the right to voice my opinion to those who Can make a difference. I really regret not being able to have voted in my country. In most countries, specially India, politics is just plain dirty. In India, the politicians are actual low lifes who are just power hungry. The actual condition of the nation has nothing to do with their position in the government. Nothing about them says that they are here to make a difference. They come, they fill their pockets, play power games and when the time comes move on. When you look at any meetings in the parliament or news about current affairs, it's mostly just hilarious to see the words falling out of their mouths and what Issues for them are. Which is why, the youth in our country prefer staying away from all of it. Voting is mostly done by those few people who wouldn't even know how to make an educated guess as to who would be right ! And what difference does it make ? The most you can do is have the one eyed lead the blind into nothingness. There's a lot more our country and we are capable of, than what it is now. I truly wish more youngsters would take a leaf out of the movie YUVA and take an Active part in politics. We need people to work on making positive changes. But then who would be willing to put in their feet in these murky waters. Only those with experience in swimming with sharks. And so the vicious circle goes...

If only the people in the US, knew about the state of countries like ours, they would have No doubt in their minds as to who they should choose as president. Sure the situation might be similar here but it's subtle and far better preserved in many ways. With adept options, select someone whose willing to bring the country into totally different spotlight. Whose not afraid to say " Let's try this !" . If nothing else, just someone who at least has an aura of authority and self assurance. After all, look at the elite lot of people who have held this most sort after throne in the past. George Bush is, of course an exception to the rule for most of the others have been virtually regal making history in their own ways. America is the land of opportunities, the land of resources, the land which claims to have solutions whatever the problem, the land which inadvertently affects the socioeconomic conditions of other nations, the land of the future. A land, that I might add, at this moment is facing adversities, in more ways than one. Isn't it then, just the right time to hand the keys of such a kingdom to one who can envision on novel tomorrow ?!

Magic - is it real ??

2008-09-26T13:55:00.000-04:00

Someone recently commented that I seemed like I believed in Magic. Not sure how they got that impression but then I got to thinking. Do I believe in magic ? What is magic after all ? I think in theory it's basically anything related to the supernatural. But whose to say what the supernatural really is or to what extent it's grasp exists?!

Sure, I believe there might be spirits hanging around us, looking over / at us. But Ghosts ? With all due respect, wouldn't dead people have better things to do than think about different ways to scare us?? Just yesterday, I saw on the news, this orb of light that was wandering around a gym. It had been recorded by the gym's motion detectors and cameras. That I can believe. Maybe a relative who had passed on wanted to check out how the business was going. Or wanted to let them know that they were doing a good job or something. Being a believer of reason, I'm sure that even spirits that roam the earth do so with some logic behind it. Searching for answers or looking out for those they care about or couldn't leave behind alone. Now that makes sense. About people who become ghosts due to untimely deaths, well I'm sure those people have enough unfinished business that they needed to have completed somehow or other rather than wasting time getting a shriek out of an innocent passer by. Right ?? But hey, for a person who watches all horror movies through any veil available or one eye, I talk too much. The logic behind the veil being that it's a semi barrier that they wouldn't be able to cross. Even when pausing, I make sure it's not during any of the scary scenes. Why give them a chance to pull a Ring ??

I adore the idea of witchcraft. Snap of a finger, wiggle of a nose, wave of a wand, mix a few disgusting things and you're on your way to getting what you want, within reason. I totally get that if you cast a spell on someone it comes back to you three fold. After all, that's where Karma comes into play. And the whole coven of witches thing. I think that's kinda over rated. It's like joining a club where you talk your known language. And that's so cliched. Then there's the Harry Potter series. I just loved it. That's just an endless wave of possibilities. And it made sense too. Who would want to be given a wand with no instructions on how to use it? It would be like a person having a remote with no idea of how to use it. Totally frustrating !! Did you notice even Alladin's genie gave precise rules on being summoned?

How can I not mention at this point magic acts? Those wonderful illusions that make you go " Ohhhhhhhhh !!!! " in amazement. Unfortunately, the charm of that is getting lost with all the books on magic coming out. Today, magic is more of a source of keeping the innocence of children intact, just a little longer. As long as they go ga ga over Santa Clause, fairy tales and little mermaids, till then the world is a miraculous place to be. What is magic, but a belief that there is something out there that is beyond our understanding. A hope that there are yet adventures out there that we can go on, if only we keep our minds open enough. Isn't that why we let our imagination run wild hoping secretly somehow, somewhere all that's make believe for us, is truly happening?

If we look closely, there's a miracle to be found in all those little moments of life. We just need to be able to appreciate it. Like the birth of a child, it's first steps, light rain on a hot day, the smell of a lovely rose, leaves turning yellow then red, the splashing of the waves, a hidden valley, clouds so low that you can touch them and all those moments where you are awe struck by a stunning revelation or sight or feeling. One might call it nature but many a times, you find them being described as magical.

And then there's the ever lasting, ever flowing magic of love. The one kind of magic that has proven true, changing lives with it's mere presence. I guess if you love someone truly, even for a moment in your life, you have to believe in Magic. For there has to be something supernatural about a force, that alters everything as soon as it touches you. Lights turn brighter, music sounds clearer, smells turn nicer, tears turn to laughter, you notice each and every intricate detail there is to notice about things around you and the world transforms into a stunningly amazing, livable place. As long as you know there is love out there, just for you Life seems easier somehow. Now That Has to be Magic !! Wouldn't you agree ?

Strings ???!!!! No thankyou ...

2008-09-24T10:57:00.000-04:00

Why are relations made so complicated, tangled up in expectations, formalities and mind games? Any friendship should be bound by heart, enriching your life in every way! Loaded with wonderful moments, sprinkled with laughter, with a lavish frosting of well meaning words of advice and lively, feel good conversations. Is a relationship that makes you uncomfortable or is really hard to work at worth the effort?

I'm sure we all agree, every relation is give and take. Of feelings, words, etiquette, gifts, compliments, good news, bad news, laughter and so on so forth. At any point, when give starts overtaking the take by a mile or more, is when it's time to pull out smoothly, cutting your losses short. For there are a lot of people, while never short on expectations, never stop to take stock that the friendship scales' balance is totally out of whack and needs a dose of real thoughtfulness. And sometimes, even the little kindness they shower is attached with a bill of prospects due immediately. Why is that? Can't people be kind just for the sake of being kind, just once in a while. Putting someone else before themselves, and not thinking about what they will get in return. I know for a fact, no act of kindness goes unrewarded so why is it that it is desired to be cashed in, instantly ?

I abhor games in any sort of kinship. I'm more of a say it as I see it person who shooting straight from the heart and prefer the same from others. Treat people as you want to be treated is my motto and I love being with people who I can be myself around. It's really hard when you have to think a hundred times before saying what's on your mind. It's important to know where you stand with those you relate to on a daily basis. Having dealt all sorts of crowds I've learned usually, things aren't how they seem and it's just plain sensible to sort the harsh truth from the portrayals so you can play the game better. Even then I've found that each time, I just find one more thing to adapt to, in order to please another. And still end up falling short on their measuring stick, for there's only so much I can keep in the air, even as a juggler.How can anyone function under such circumstances?

Consequently, I find myself wondering why people try so hard to make things work when it's really not meant to be. At every turn when you feel demeaned, lost, uncomfortable, awkward, ignored, and if nothing else: tired of trying to keep up with the jibes and thoughtless comments finding yourself bursting at the seams with hurt why is it that pressure by society, complications brought on by the network you're currently in, fear of turning friendships into groups or just an old relation that's past it's expiration date and is now starting to curdle compel us to grin and bear it modestly ? When you're afraid of loosing a relation, doesn't that fear haunt another as well ? So, why can't they co operate with you in keeping things unpretentious and just plain fun ...

So, hey ! all of you out there, shelf the games, keep things simple, keep them real, keep it sweet ...

Keep Moving, Keep Smiling .

2008-09-17T12:42:00.000-04:00

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Everything is ok, in the end ; if it's not ok, it's not the end.

To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.

Loving yourself is the beginning of a life long romance.

Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Time spent laughing is time spent with the Gods.

No day in which you have learned something is a complete loss.

Every problem has a solution, every night has a dawn.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is full already.

One should never consent to creep when on has an impulse to soar.

It's NEVER too late to be what you might have been.

When God takes away something from your grasp, he's not punishing you, but merely emptying your hand for you to receive something better.

No one can go back and make a new start, but anyone can start from Now and make a brand new ending.

In the depths of winter I learnt that there is an invincible summer in me.

Only the wisest and stupidest people do not change .

You can choose to do Nothing during a situation... but that TOO is a choice.

These are a few words that cheer me up whenever I string them together in my mind's window. They have gotten me through some really tough times and having believed in them with all my heart, I've found them encouraging me through to the light. I've collected them over time so kindly excuse my ignorance as to the authors of each. I just wanted to share them with all those out there who are looking for a sign, something that tells them to keep moving, no matter what.

You know those days when you feel down and think the world is passing you by. When everyone seems to be having the time of their lives, where you are stuck in a rut and nothing seems to be changing? Every thought that crosses your mind is what's going wrong and when things will be like they are for others. Well, the truth of the matter is no One person is happy all the time. We all have our ups and downs. And those that seem to be doing well, probably have a hidden corner of their lives that is dark and threatening. The trick is to Not let all the darkness we have in our lives to break free of that hidden box. We each have something that another secretly covets. And we each have ghosts that live within us just lying in wait to pull us into an endless abyss of diffidence. Life is a rainbow of all possible colors; some dark, some light, some vivid, some obscure. We just need to make it a point to keep our eyes on the bright colors and keep thinking up ways to paint over the one's that remind us of our failures. Our time will come, when it's meant to and it'll come with everything that we are destined for.

Well, it's in those days I try do one of many things to take me out of the self built walls of pity. Hey ! Life's too short to spend wallowing in a pool of regret, right ? The past is gone, the present is happening and can only be dealt with as it comes, and the future - well, we can just work on building the one we want and await the result.

When confidence is low and impatience is high, tears flow easily and no remorse is denied. Those days I think about all that's right in my life. Every tiny blessing that seems to blend into the background is brought forth and thanked for. Every lesson I've learned, ever person whose graced my life, their entry, their exit, the meaning of the traces they left is analyzed and relived. And then all of it is shelved back into my " by gone folder " after I access how it contributed to who I am today and what else I need to work on. I always try to keep myself as positive as I can. For the rest, I'm thankful to my husband for picking up the slack and helping see all the goodness.

I get up, get dressed, go out, pick up a book,catch a nice movie, do whatever cheers me up and have a laugh at my own expense, if necessary. I've noticed that people with a good sense of humor are usually those who can laugh at themselves. It's a blessing to be able to see the funny side of any situation. Surrounding yourself with positivity is another plus. I regret to say I wasn't always this positive, but over time I've grown to learn that negativity most eats at you. Sure, I still get worked up often and frequently but I vent and then I'm pretty much over it. After a while, the hilarity of the state of affairs and the possible outcomes make their way into my conscious. Soon, a plan starts forming and I work on what more I could do or change to adapt. It's more of a transition process that works towards a positive outlook. That's just me. I'm sure we all have our own ways to fight against our demons and make way for a better tomorrow. As long as we keep trying to pave the way to all the goodness life holds for us, the means is of no consequence.

To Be or Not to be a Good Host ...

2008-09-13T18:36:00.000-04:00

I went to a party today and the time I spent there could be described as awkward at best which drove me to the thought that conducting a fun party among people at my age is a real work of art.

What I observed was firstly, people are too preoccupied with their day to day lives. Secondly, these days with all that's going on with their lives, having a stimulating conversation is a rarity. Thirdly, having fun for people after marriage comes down to talking about themselves, their current turmoils or their children. And finally, being a good host seems to have become a lost skill.

Thus, I went through the net in search for viable pointers to help along those of us who are at least trying to attain perfection in the art of Partying !!

Arrange food and party favors with thoughtfulness and a open heart.

Keep in mind the number of people and their needs before preparation.

Decorate artistically and serve with a smile.

Welcome each guest personally at the door.

Give each person personal attention.

Introduce people who don't know each other with a short background.

A frowning host makes guests uncomfortable.

Guests do not need to be privy to internal squabbles.

Do not contradict or correct the guest unnecessarily.

Inviting people of different cultures, find a median and stick to it.

Do not over emphasize all the trouble you have gone through.

Don't go into a speech about yourself and your troubles. Keep the conversation light.

Distribute work to guests selectively.

If something goes wrong, don't frown or fret. Explain it to the guests, they all have been there and can understand.

Smile at and try to find a common ground with guests you are meeting for the first time.

Find a stimulating topic for each group of people to get involved in.

Don't push your guests to eat but be vigilant and serve with a smile.

Never let anyone feel left out.

Arrange games to liven up the party, Only if the people involved are the partying kind.

End the evening before they keep glancing at their watches and eyeing the door. It's better they should leave regretfully wishing the night could have continued than with the relief and gratitude of an escaping convict.

And learn from others. In the area of kindness, there is always someone who is more thoughtful, more considerate.

Just as we frequently pick up decorating tips from a friend's event, so too should we pick up hosting tips to make the party a delightful experience !!!

Marathi Manoos Vs Indian at Heart !

2008-09-12T15:10:00.000-04:00

OMG ! I'm laughing out loud. After being told by my husband of the latest Jaya Bachchan / Raj Thackarey Anti - Marathi Issue a few days back, today I made the time to go and read up on the details as reported by the various sources on the net. I started snickering with the first lines and by the end of it was guffawing at the irrationality of the situation.

I just find incredible that people today would rather create a ruckus over such petty issues than Actual problems in Our country like poverty, education, growth. No wonder the world moves forward while we all are left bickering among ourselves. People here are Telegu, Maharashtrians, Gujraatis, Punjabis, Bengalis, Goans etc First and Indians and even Human Beings Much later. And least to say, when I saw the actual video of the alleged comment, a SANE person would be well aware of the fact that she meant No disrespect to anyone. It was just a casual remark thrown off the cuff for a laugh. And Mr. Bachchan and his family apologizing for such a trivial issue, displays the sorry state of our country. Like I've said before, whatever happened to freedom of speech and expression? Instead of curbing such comments, I think it's better to propagate the use of English as a universal language to encourage progress and living in harmony. Above all, demeaning people of that stature that have put Indians on the Global map with their efforts, is down right ridiculous.

Sure, Maharashtra is being crowded by other states' people. Same goes for Bangalore, Delhi and others. Wouldn't it be better to work on globalizing India rather than making each state one dimensional? The source of these problems is more the exponential development of Certain cities, leaving the smaller villages and towns behind. People are just moving in the direction where they find opportunities, progress and amenities. This scenario is replicated in Developing countries as well. What if tomorrow people in United States, Gulf, Australia start throwing out people from other cities? Cmon !! What are they thinking ? What sort of an example are they setting for countries in other worlds? Each one to his own and to hell with the rest.

Unfortunately these people are given support by the Media that irresponsibly provide them with the platform to give the necessary Hype to their campaign. Instead of cutting THESE ignorant protesters to size, they promote the issue till it gets blown out of proportion and to hell with who gets hurt in the process. When will the media realize the failure of their status as reporters when they don't work towards advertising crusades that actually need attention. It's appalling to see the incidents they consider juicy. No wonder news people all over the world have earned a bad name for themselves.

It's this attitude which is bringing down Our country and it's people as a whole and I can only hope that these so called "defenders of culture" soon come to their senses and find more essential and Rational causes for improving the state of their respective provinces to fight for ...

Haphazard thoughts of a Restless Soul.

2008-09-11T14:20:00.001-04:00

Once when I was really young, my aunt( mom's sister) taught me that the best way to understand another is to put yourself in their place, keeping in mind all that you know about THEM and then judging their actions. Then things don't seem so surprising. I imbibed that lesson into my circuit and found it extremely useful in being sympathetic to the concerns of another.

But lately, I'm apalled and to a point, demoraled by the lack of empathy people really have for another. They prefer living in their self built cocoons and judging everyone else by the yard stick they use for themselves. When will people learn that being a friend/ relative/ human even involves trying to feel for another. Sure, the days to keep another before yourself have long gone, but is it so hard to give a thought to another's state of mind before hurling words at them? In my life, I keep coming across people who inherently make it difficult for me to be in their presence. The more I find myself adapting to them, the more I realize how diffiult it is to keep a straight face and not scream out of exasperation. Friendship that needs to be worked on at those levels is better not faked at all. Whatever happened to free speech and tolerance of another. On one hand we have those who think they Have to flaunt themselves and their belongings all over the place and at the other end of the spectrum you have those who expect you to live by their rules accomodating Their every need and necessity, sidelining you, your words, your actions and your worth as a person. Everyone desires appreciation, love, understanding and above all empathy. Wonder what makes them feel they are a cut above the rest ? For Lord knows they have what every other person walking on the street has, will or can have. What have they done to earn the respect of mankind or just one other? Selfishness, greed, vanity, condescension, envy, are all masked by fake smiles and empty words. And the moment to try to break free of the bonds of formality, people cringe at the thought of having to show some real feeling or concern. In the end, you end up feeling the fool just for being yourself.

Fine ! Don't aim to achieve greatness or even respect, just once in a while give Some thought to the turmoils and pains of another. People really need to stand back and look at their own lives from an angle other than the centre and take stock of their actions/ words and the resonating effect they have on others. Today, more than ever I remember fondly the few people who've showered me with genuine gestures of kindness and understanding. Those few people with whom I can be myself and not have to be explicit at every turn. I cherish them forever and hope that I meet more like them for empathatic people seem to be a dying breed. Yet, for now I'm glad there are people there making lives easier to live.

Your Best Smiles .

2008-09-09T16:24:00.000-04:00

Read this today :

Share your best smiles for your family, don't save them for your clients, colleagues, friends, strangers on the street. Get your priorities straight. It's those smiles that keep your family together and help the love grow.

Brought me to Google and get the rest of this -

A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile.

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ~Mother Teresa

Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to.

Every day you spend without a smile, is a lost day.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.- Leo F. Buscaglia

A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around
- Carolyn Birmingham

Total Support Vs Self Confidence. ?!

2008-09-08T09:11:00.000-04:00

I've been wondering recently about dedications one gives to others. I've come to the conclusion that self confidence is highly supplemented by the faith of another in this world in your talents. Appreciating whatever one stands for plays a major role in boosting one's morale driving them to become a better version of themselves.

That is why, when successful in any kind of achievement we have people contributing it more to the people who gave them total, relentless support in pursuing their dreams than to their talents. Talents, I believe are like plants. They need nurturing, appreciation and faith in their growth as much as a good soil base. Not the nagging, pestering kind of support, mind you. But the subtle, slow, continuous nudges of praise and admiration. Everyone needs to know there's someone out there who believes in them pushing them forward when the chips go down and buoying them further when on an artistic high. Else with the wrong kind of attitude, talent too, like all else in life withers and wilts to nothingness.

I for one know, if not for those cherished few who've always had faith in me and stood beside me urging me on, I wouldn't even be where I am today.

Talk Things Out ...

2008-08-27T17:12:00.000-04:00

Have you ever wanted to go back in time and find out what went wrong between you and someone you were close to? Meet someone and talk to them about why it is that you guys are so apart when once you were joined at the hip? Fill in the holes and figure out all that still stumps you when you think about it? Sure, most of us just want to let bygones be bygones, treat tiffs as an experience and move on. But memories being those little nagging things that have the habit of coming up from no where, I'm sure all of us wonder about those times when we were miserable and misunderstood. No one can change the past, but we could maybe just solve the mystery behind each fight, misunderstanding, boycott, no talk zone, rudeness, betrayal and the likes ...

Why is it that people would rather jump to conclusions than talk things over and sort things out? Like I say time and again, I'm no saint but then why is it that no one ever tries to look at themselves and what they've done from another point of view. Sure, most fights are about each one being right in their own ways, but there is still the little matter of what actually transpired. And in most cases, it's just a silly matter of i said, you said or i did, you did. Most people do not even intend to be hurtful, it's just perceived as that because of the bias we hold regards to what we believe is right or wrong.

Before marriage, whenever I had any issues, I used to go around asking at least 2 or more people from different genres whether my position in Any distressing situation had a sound basis or not? Most of the times I'd get my perspective straightened re aligned or would be re assured and only then would I take actual action. Sure, it meant I was an open book but then, I'd rather be transparent than morally wrong. In the process, if nothing else, I got to know myself better. Now, this is not everyone's cup of tea. For not everyone can handle criticism or the metaphorical mirror but it's healthy to have someone in your life who'll turn you right side up.

How many of us have had close friends or relatives and had the courage to tell someone what's not likable about them ? And in time those less likable qualities grow into an ever increasing ravine between you two that just can't be filled with niceties or small talk anymore. Most will say, why should we say anything? It's their life, they probably know what they were doing and there's no point us getting our hands dirty. Why is it that we prefer being politically correct than truthful? Oh ! I don't suggest we go around correcting everyone, just the ones who we truly care about. But again, here there's the little snag that most people turn a blind eye to those who are good to them till the point of time things turn sour. The general motto is " He's good to me, so what should I care ? " One forgets that a person's basic nature is defined by his/her behaviour to all, and not just you. For chances are, a person whose rude to others, will at some or other time in the future, be rude to you too. And then wondering " where did that come from ? " is going to be futile. Every person has a face they put on for different people. It's hard to put them all together but once you do, be it good or bad, it's that time you truly know the kind of person you're dealing with.

Thankfully, I've had a chance to rekindle many a old friendships turned sour. Of course, not every relation is worth putting in the extra effort. Some people and their issues are just better left alone. Yet, in other cases, after talking things over and filling out the blanks, I found it's just a simple misunderstanding, whose spark was given excess fuel to by a third party who sat back and enjoyed whatever benefits they could reap from the spat. Some pieces of various puzzles still remain missing but on the whole, from each experience I've learnt that only if spoken my mind and sorted things out immediately, I could have saved myself a lot of heart ache. So, as important as it is to show the people you care about that you love them, it's equally important to be truthful and should any issue arise leave nothing unsaid ...

Houses of Wood - Squeak On .

2008-08-26T17:14:00.000-04:00

It was a surprise to me when I came to the US and discovered the buildings are mostly made of wood. I was fascinated to learn that wood being in abundance in the long gone years, it made more sense to use readily available raw material than grapple with bricks and stone. Thus it's cheaper and easier to use wood for building. One can construct and dismantle a building piece by piece and put it back together MUCH faster than of stone or wood. Wood is even thought to be considerably more durable in some regards. In some cases, when required a home can simple be cut off at it's base and transported to the new location. Putting up a wall is almost as easy as 1,2,3.

Now after a year, I wonder if it's such a good thing. I can hear creaking below my feet as I walk around and fear the people living below are aware of my current weight. I've also developed magical powers under protest, which enable me to ascertain the current position of my upstairs' neighbors. Many a times, I've jerked at a noise that seemed to emanate from within my apartment and discovered that my fears were unfounded. Many a sleepless times can be attributed to ghostly sounds right beside you courtesy movements above. Over time it's gotten so bad that I had to personally go and visit my innocent neighbors and request them to somehow TRY to refrain from making any noise as it's quite disconcerting. Even to my ears the appeal sounded ridiculous but being helpless I groped at the only course of action available to me. It's almost impossible to expect one to walk around on pins and needles, when it's the old floor boards that are to be blamed. Don't get me wrong, I do count my blessings for the padding within the walls, that allow for sound proofing. Else, I'd really hate to be privy to others' conversations and vice-versa. I hear many a humorous anecdotes about neighbors getting distressed or even leaving at the slightest whimper. Like a neighbor who pounded on his walls to get my friends to stop talking, not shouting or dancing, just talking.

Permanent solutions include moving to a stronger structure or becoming a home owner. Both of which include considerable monetary commitments. Moving to the topmost floor would just be a temporary solution only putting me at the top of the pyramid. Now, whenever I hear my neighbors tip toeing around their house, I am grateful for the silent gaps between squeaks but wonder what other recourse is available for people like us who are distressed and yearning for a squeak free life? Never in my life, had I imagined that I would miss all the structures I've ever lived in, for the one reason that they are built of brick !!!!

People should want to know ...

2008-08-25T19:49:00.000-04:00

People who know that they know,
People who know that they don't know,
People who don't know that they know,
People who don't know that they don't know .

My husband, a fellow philosopher had once shared this tidbit with me. Further explained it unfolds to the fact that the world is made up of four types of people. People who know that they they know everything. These are those who are perennial know it alls and kind of hard to be around as they have to be right always. Then there are those enlightened ones who know that they don't know everything and are willing to learn from all sources to make up for the void. Then there are those that don't know that that there are things they are aware of. These set can be , in time, made aware of what they need in life. And then there are those few that are utterly clueless, which are the most dangerous kind for they are truly illiterate in every form and no amount of words can be used to convince them.

I'd found this a very profound and well found lesson. One of those things that help you understand the people around you and accept them for what they truly are. Now I'm not saying people can't change, it's just that most people after a certain age choose to NOT. Among the above Type of people the most important time to aim for is for those who know that they don't know. For once you become aware of something that needs to be learned or adapted to, life becomes much easier. Of course this applies to each and every part of our lives. From worldly knowledge to basic human nature.

An example for this might be, just after marriage when we ( my husband and I ) shared endless arguments for apparently no valid reason. Mornings or afternoons one thing would lead to another and before we knew it we'd be biting each others' heads off and laughing or the absurdities of our stubbornness later. In time, it dawned on him and me that the only time he gets crabby is when he's hungry. It's not that he can't handle hunger or hasn't spent days in his life when he's not eaten for some reason or other. It's that, at a given time he starts expecting food. And if he ( subconsciously ) feels that the food is available yet getting delayed for whatever reason he loses it. Full credit for him for adapting to his nature by being patient, when he's aware that lunch / dinner is going to be delayed. It's still quite easy to know when he's getting hungry as he gets low key. But atleast our fights have diminished to almost null for we both know are now aware of what occurs. I on my part, have learned to prevent the situation before it arises or to be understanding, and try to cheer him up by diverting his mind, if he does get restrained. This is something we all can learn from. When we become aware of a part of ourselves that can affect another person, we can do well to adapt to ourselves and make our spouses or those around us of that nature, the tell tale signs and the consequences of the reaction.

Which brings me to the thought of how many of us wonder each day of why or how so and so situation came to be ? I'm sure after some soul searching and thoughtful reflection on past events one just might come up with some quirks that are unique to us. Wouldn't you like to adapt, if not change the one part of you that Could lead to adverse reactions ? I'm sure that would help you and All those around you in more ways than one. Sure people around us, accept us once they get to know us better but shouldn't you want to know yourself better first ? Think about it . Become aware of what you don't know bout yourself Now.

Memories of Caste Questions and Men in orange clothes ...

2008-08-22T09:48:00.000-04:00

I just read some insightful blogs about India and our current state as a nation and was reminded of a few lessons that I learned and wanted to share here.

Caste Questions -

We had just come to India after the Gulf war and I had joined school, thanks to the Indian govt's law that any person whose come back due to the war, should be given Immediate admission in any school. Till then I wasn't aware than India was full of Punjabis, Gujratis, Up ites, Goans, Malayalis etc who are very attached to their regional essence and most are automatically drawn to and prefer being with their own community. I was in the Fifth standard, so that would make me 10 or 11. I joined school, quite unsure of myself when during the break someone came up to me and asked me " What are you ?" I replied " Hindu. " She laughed and said, " No, where are you from ? " I was totally aghast. I didn't know what I was ?! That evening I went rushing home and asked my mom what caste we were. She wondered what brought this on and I told her ofcourse. Then she told me, about our " Rajputness " as Singhs and that Dad is from UP and she herself is born and brought up as a Maharastrian. I was quite happy with the answer till it came to telling someone else ( till date I'm amazed as how frequently you are asked this question ) . But since then life has never been the same. Because every time, someone asked me where I was from, I'd say, " I was born and brought up in Kuwait. My mom is a Maharashtrian from Amravati and my dad's from MP, Gwalior . No, it's not a love marriage. ( the next obvious question ) And we are now basically settled in Bhopal. " In time it's become more difficult as I have added another city to my graduation and another to where my husband is from. So, basically now when anyone asks, I start of with " I'm a cocktail . " And move on from there, if the person is actually interested. Their reaction says a lot about Our future as acquaintances. Though that does mean I could never actually belong to any community or organization, but Hey ! it's a great conversation starter and I get equally interesting stories in return !!

Men in Orange Clothes -

Another lesson I learned about life in India, was through my Father. He would never give even a Rupee to people begging but would be willing for anyone who would work for it. I believe this is what instilled in me the desire to earn what I desired. Though he never left us wanting for anything, I always admired him and mom for always putting in that extra effort for the home, which of course in turn made where they chose to give their money mean more. A memory stands out here, when I was playing in our compound and I saw a man in orange clothes ask dad for money in the name of God. My father offered him an hour's work in return for Rs. 20. The man acted wondrously affronted and refused. Dad assured him, there was no insult involved and just needed some help . The man just walked off in a huff. Even at that age, I remember thinking if that man's really collecting for God, then what's wrong with working for it? With other similar experiences like rigged wires in auto rickshaws, people demanding more than they deserved, the use of the name of Bhagwan, Allah I came to the conclusion that people would rather beg, steal and scam in the name of whatever they can use, than earn their keep. I still wonder what makes people believe that they are entitled to someone else's hard earned money ?

" What is LIfe ? "

2008-08-21T11:20:00.000-04:00

Whenever I walk down the road, I don't know why sometimes I get into the rhythm of placing a foot in each block. As always, there just before the pavement ends, etched into the cement is the another sempiternal question , " What is LIfe ? ". I'm not even going to try to pen down my thoughts about this one.

It's just that something so miniscule in comparison to the apartment buildings around it, is such a mystery. It always amuses me that someone thought to scratch a few words into the wet mixture, just before it set enough to bear the wear and tear of a million feet walking over it day in and day out. I wonder also, how many people actually notice the tiny lettering. Do they mull over this graffiti or wonder what lies ahead or get pensive about the past ? There has to be some reaction, right? Wonder if the person who made this scribbling, young-old, male-female, did it with some thought or on a fantastic whim. I only wish I were that impromptu in my actions. Leaving my mark places I've been. Touching the lives of people I'll never meet or know....

August Rush - Something Inside ...

2008-08-21T00:59:00.000-04:00

This is the one song of the movie that has stirred something deep within and will be a favorite for years to come ...

When the one thing you’re looking for
Is nowhere to be found
And you back stepping all of your moves
Trying to figure it out
You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
Your head’s wrapped around what’s around the next bend
You wish you could find something warm
'Cause you’re shivering cold
It’s the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
It’s the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on

'Cause if you hadn't found me
I would have found you
I would have found you

So long you’ve been running in circles
'Round what’s at stake
But now the times come for your feet to stand still in one place
You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
Your head’s wrapped around what’s around the next bend
You wish you could find something warm
'Cause you’re shivering cold
It’s the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
It’s the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on

'Cause if you hadn't found me
I would have found you
I would have found you

It was your first taste of love
Living upon what you had

It’s the first thing you see when you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on

'Cause if you hadn't found me
I would have found you
I would have found you
I would have found you
I would have found you

Steve Erdody and Jonathan Rhys Meyers - Elgar

August Rush

2008-08-21T00:26:00.000-04:00

I JUST saw the movie and am positively ecstatic. My heart is racing a hundred miles an hour and my fingers are shaking. So, I did the only thing I could think of doing at 12.26 am. I sat at my laptop to blog. I added the videos to my orkut and changed my status on the gmail, yahoo and facebook and now am wondering how to put into words what I'm feeling after ... a realllly long time ...

You remember the time, when you were innocent, not aware of what the world really holds and had magical dreams of what love would be like? Just knowing that something , someone is there for you whose going to Just meet you one fine day and turn your world upside down or right side up, whatever you needed. I don't remember when all of that changed but I do remember the feeling I used to have. The tingles in my fingers, the sound of my heartbeat, the soft touch the breeze, the sight of the moon that brought to me the faith that I am meant to be with someone and that Life will mean something....

Sure, time changes things. We all come down to earth and lives become practical. I luckily found the one person meant for me, but I'm sorry to say that in the chores of every day life, the Magic of romance doesn't hold fort often enough. I take great comfort and find immense joy every moment knowing that I'm loved and cherished. And I even got quite a few of the answers I was searching for. Life could be a little more right side up, but I'm working on that, and I think I might get there sooner than later. Yet, some days I just feel that there's a part of me that's looking for something. A part of me wants to go out and find the one piece of the puzzle that will finally complete this picture. Maybe, it's motherhood or the completion of my dreams. I am not very sure. I do get impatient at times and try looking for the culmination in the beauty around me like the sky, people, the beauty in the crevices, the smile or hug my husband bestows on me . But then, isn't that's what magical about life ?? The anticipation of waiting for something, specially when you're not even sure what or where it is ... ?? Have you ever felt that you were meant for something ? That there was something you were yet to do or achieve ? That there is a metaphorical mountain out there with your name on it, waiting for you to come to it's base and climb to the summit ?

The movie might not be as Fantabulous for some. It's quite predictable and you know how it's going to end. I know some people find that boring. But the it's a journey. Ooof ! That's something to talk about. The emotions, the flow, the expressions, the lyrics and the compositions. That's sure worth talking about. It's just beautifully woven together leaving you breathless and fascinated with what comes next, specially if you are really listening to the music. I believe it is for every romantic out there who has music as a part of their lives and wants to believe in the magic of love. Closet romantics, even ;). I keep wondering why this movie has stirred me so. Most of all, I believe it is the sheer elation I see on the face of August, when he does the one thing he's born to do - Play Music. And his faith and relentless drive in achieving the one thing that he wants more than anything else - To Be Found. Maybe that's what I'm looking for. One : A magical faith and belief in the incredible ( that you rarely see in today's day and age ! ). And two : as hard as it is to admit, I think I am searching for the answer to the question He already knew the answer to. What am I meant to do Here before I pass on to worlds unknown ? Pretty difficult one, I know. After all, he's a character in a scripted movie and Me, I'm a person of the actual world, who is still trying to find answers to lost questions. But then I do have this much confidence, Time will tell. Ofcourse, till then : my search continues ...